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Once again I will return to my rhyming theme as it has generally brought us a good result or a fine performance. I have written a number of poems based on the famous ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. I included similar poems in my book, Goodbye Upton Park, Hello Stratford, which is available in paperback or Kindle on Amazon. So if you are looking for a last minute Christmas present for a West Ham fan, then look no further. I have been a regular at Upton Park for almost sixty years, and the book chronicles the last famous season there.

‘Twas the night before Burnley, you couldn’t hear a sound
Just wait till tomorrow, for the noise in the ground;

Three tough league away games plus one in the cup;
A home game v Arsenal, and they’re on the up;
Performances were mixed, for a short time we fell
Into the bottom three, cos we weren’t doing well;

At Tottenham we led with minutes to go,
But two very late goals dealt us a blow;

The Old Trafford league game, we started full throttle;
And Jose was sent off for kicking a bottle.
Sakho was back in the lone striker role;
With two minutes gone, he headed a goal;
Zlatan equalised, I thought we were gone;
But 1-1 was OK, we were able to hold on.

A few days later, they opened the scoring,
In the EFL cup it was getting quite boring;
But then at his old ground up popped Ashley Fletcher;
But the second half was awful, the less said the better;

Arsenal at home, it wasn’t much fun;
Sanchez was brilliant, they beat us five-one.

At Anfield one down, looked like we were done,
But a Payet free kick and the score was one-one.
Antonio pounced to give us the lead;
Nordtveit was given a rollicking by Reid;
Then a simple mistake, we’ve made a quite a few;
A Randolph disaster, Origi, two-two.
Many years at Anfield, t’was always the same;
But in the last couple we’ve given them a game.

So now we face Burnley, then Hull City too;
Six points for the taking? I hope it comes true;
However we play, I’ll take two wins gladly,
It won’t be that easy they haven’t played badly;

At Turf Moor they’re good, five wins to their name;
But out on the road, it’s not been the same;
Just one point away, they’ve found it quite hell;
On other teams grounds, they’ve not played that well;

They’re keeper’s a good’un, he’s known as Tom Heaton,
But six away games, and five games been beaten;
Fifteen conceded, and only scored one;
And that was a pen, they’ve not had much fun;

I do like their colours, I’ll give them their due;
For this game they’ll change out of claret and blue;
Today I’m convinced we’ll go for the kill;
We’ll be at our best and beat them four-nil.

I am of the firm opinion that if Slaven Bilic cannot secure at least 8 points from the next 5 games he should start to pack his bags since sticking with him would represent a massive gamble.  After yesterday’s results West Ham have slipped back into the bottom 3 and a heavy defeat today could see the situation deteriorate further.  Of the next 5 games today’s fixture is undoubtedly the toughest on paper with a point likely to be the optimistic target.  Unfortunately Liverpool’s weakness at the defensive end of the pitch is not something we are equipped to exploit with the firepower available.  Are we able to score as many as we concede as I see little prospect of keeping a clean sheet today.

“I feel the support and have said that so many times and I felt that support in our conversation this week. I believe in myself and my staff and look at what we achieved last year and I believe there is time to turn it around.”

– Slaven Bilic

It is standard practice for many West Ham fans to despise anything Scouse related and certainly the media love-in with Liverpool, despite their having won the last of their league titles some 26 seasons ago, can be immensely irritating.  However, I do believe that Jurgen Klopp, for all his idiosyncrasies, has done an impressive job since arriving at Anfield in October last year.  He looks to be on the way to the holy grail of football management of getting a team to perform in a manner that is greater than the sum of its parts.  His side is a team largely devoid of individual stars that plays to a well-defined system that is both effective and allows them to compensate for absent players much easier.  It is an interesting contrast to our own disjointed and disorganised efforts so far this season.

Head to Head

West Ham’s abysmal record at Anfield is there for all to see.  Last season’s first win in 50 odd years brought the total of away victories to an unimpressive 3 in a series where we have only scored 36 goals in 60 matches.  In a historic sense we will over achieve if we manage to score today.

Team News

It appears that both Antonio and Cresswell have recovered from the injuries incurred in the EFL Cup game at Old Trafford and are available to start.  As far as I know Kouyate remains injured and Collins is also out.  I am hoping this means an enforced change to the 3 at the back experiment.  It must be a toss-up who plays in goal (Adrian or Randolph) and who will be the main striker (Carroll or Fletcher).  There must be a tendency to take a risk averse, danger limitation approach (at least as far as player fitness is concerned) to this match with home games coming up against Burnley and Hull in the next week.   It will be nice if the players have re-discovered that intensity that they lost in training and can at least put in a shift this week.

“If there’s any reaction from the team, I don’t know, maybe we will be angry against West Ham.”

– Jurgen Klopp

My anticipated line-up for a side that will be primarily concerned with protecting the point is:

Randolph
Arbeloa  Reid  Ogbonna  Cresswell
Noble Obiang
Antonio  Lanzini Payet
Carroll

Liverpool are without Coutinho and Sturridge but unfortunately Mane is fit enough to return to the side that will be smarting from defeat at Bournemouth last week.  If I felt optimistic I might think that throwing away a two goal lead last week could have dented their confidence but the greater likelihood is that they will be raring to put it all behind them.

Man in The Middle

It is self-important celebrity referee Mark Clattenburg of County Durham in the middle today.  Clattenburg’s only West Ham fixture so far this season was the away defeat at West Bromwich.  He has taken charge of 15 games in all competitions this season totaling 59 Yellow and 2 Red cards.

What is there to worry about? We faced Liverpool four times last season. We won both league games, drew 0-0 there in the fourth round of the FA Cup, and beat them after extra time in the replay at Upton Park. That is 390 minutes of football, plus injury time, and we scored seven goals to their one. And we finished above them in the league. So why do the bookies make them 3/10 favourites, and offer odds of 9/1 on us winning the game? Are they a better team than they were when we last met? Probably, yes. Have our performances this season declined compared to last? Definitely, yes.

The first win in August 2015 was the one that took everyone by surprise. Although we had already beaten Arsenal at the Emirates on the opening day of the season, we lost the next two games at home to Leicester and Bournemouth. Nobody thought we had any realistic chance of victory at Anfield, where we hadn’t won since 1963. But an early goal from Lanzini was followed by a Mark Noble strike on the half hour, and then Sakho wrapped up a comprehensive 3-0 victory in injury time. By the time we met them on 2 January, our impressive season was well underway. We had only lost twice since our early season win at Anfield, and sat in seventh place. Goals from Antonio and Carroll secured a 2-0 win and the double over them. At the end of January we met them in the fourth round of the FA Cup, and a goalless draw at Anfield was followed by a 2-1 victory in the replay with goals from Antonio, and a 121st minute header from Ogbonna.

But this season it has all gone wrong, and we go into this game already embroiled in a relegation dogfight. Nobody realistically expects us to get anything this time, possibly giving us even less chance than last season’s surprise. But Bournemouth showed us last Sunday that the Liverpool defence can be got at, and their keeper looked very vulnerable. I wonder if our training has been more intense following the revelation after the Arsenal game that it hasn’t been what it should have? I read that Bilic has taken specific hands-on coaching of our defence, and not before time. I also read that Dicks has not been involved in coaching the defence, and that the offer from Rio Ferdinand to get involved has been declined. We’ll see on Sunday if there has been any improvement.

I also read rumours that Reece Burke is being recalled from his loan to add to our defensive squad, in particular the problematic right back position, and I welcome that if it is true. Every time he has played at either centre back or right back he has looked a good prospect to me, and definitely a player we should be looking to include. Also, Sam Byram is nearing a return, and hopefully our other injured players will be back soon. And I’d also like to see Reece Oxford given a runout. I’m sure he will turn out to be some player, but we’ll never know if he doesn’t get a chance. Perhaps they are waiting for him to sign a new contract.

Of course, the defence has not been our only problem, and we need to create opportunities and score more goals, by increasing the tempo of our attacking play. I hope that they have worked on this at Rush Green too. Naturally the media has been full of our woes, and rumours abound as to who we are looking to bring into the club in the January transfer window. The latest ones are Defoe, who would be superb alongside an in-form and injury-free Carroll, but would not be popular with some sections of our fans, who are unable to forgive him for the past. He was a young guy who made a mistake, but it was a long time ago. I’ve also read about the interest in Fellaini and I just hope that that this one is way off the mark. Of course you can find links on the internet to hundreds of players that we are supposedly interested in signing. Fortunately, most of them are just rumours with no foundation whatsoever.

Once again, with no real reason to do so, I’ll put my optimistic hat on and say we’ll get a 2-2 draw on Sunday. What are the chances?

It seems that we can now all stop worrying as, if reports are to be believed, the unplayable, unstoppable Andy Carroll is ready to return for today’s late kickoff against Arsenal. Here comes the messiah and the cavalry all rolled into one to destroy that easily intimidated Arsenal defence who really ‘don’t like it up ’em’. A repeat of last season’s hat-trick heroics is a mere formality as we unleash our favourite blunt instrument on the soft north Londoners.

“He is a good player, not only heading or putting the ball in.  That doesn’t make you a great player, he’s got all that but he’s probably the best in the league at occupying the defence for me.”

– Slaven Bilic on Andy Carroll

To be fair, in some circumstances (and formations) Carroll can be a very effective option but to pretend there is far more to his game than his aerial ability (as our manager does) is a stretch as long as his neck; certainly at Premier League level. The expression “‘If your only tool is a hammer then every problem looks like a nail” is doubly apt here and raises the concern that our tactics will once again be an over-reliance on Andy’s head. Add to that the quality of our crossing, particularly if Cresswell is out, and it hardly instils confidence that Plan A is the surefire winner that many are hoping. As always I will be more than happy to be proved wrong.

Head to Head

West Ham are very much second best in the Head to Head stakes with Arsenal. The Gunners are probably one of few teams that hold the advantage both home and away. Last season’s victory at The Emirates was our only success in the last 12 meetings which have featured 10 dispiriting defeats.

The last home win against Arsenal was in November 2006 courtesy of substitute Marlon Harewood’s 89^th minute winner as he slid home following an uncharacteristic battling run by Matthew Etherington; the only goal of the game. The aftermath of the goal celebrations that day resulted in the famous ‘slugout in the dugout’ contest between Alan Pardew and Arsene Wenger.

Team News

Following another short lived comeback, Diafra Sakho is now reported to be side-lined for up to 6 weeks. Would be wing-backs Cresswell and Antonio both picked up thigh strains during the Old Trafford cup exit in the week and it seems that top-scorer Antonio is definitely out while Cresswell will have a late fitness test. Although unconfirmed there are also internet rumours of a bust-up between Bilic and Ayew over the latter’s fitness levels. It is difficult to know what the manager will do selection-wise but my guess is that he will stick with his (flawed) 3 at the back with Fernandes in at right wing back and Masuaku on the left if Cresswell is unavailable. Midfield is likely to be Obiang, Noble, Payet plus Lanzini or Ayew (if he isn’t on the naughty step). Upfront it will be Carroll or Fletcher and it will be interesting to see whether Andy gets a start (following the big build up) and how long he lasts this time.

Arsenal also have their injury problems with Bellerin, Debuchy, Mertesacker, Welbeck and Cazorla all missing and Giroud and Elneney doubtful. Unwilling to risk former Hammer’s loanee Carl Jenkinson, following his comical comeback display, Wenger will join in the playing players out of position fun by using Gabriel at right back.

“I have pity for every manager, but I think he has done a very good job there, he has built a good squad, and I’m sure it will come out in the long distance”

– Arsene Wenger on Slaven Bilic

I can’t help but have very bad thoughts at what an on-song Arsenal team might do against our defence with their fluidity, pace and inter-play. Let’s hope it is a bad day at the office for them.

The Man in the Middle

Today’s straw clutching comes in the form of a welcome to this season’s lucky referee Craig Pawson, yet another referee from Yorkshire. Pawson was in charge of the home wins against Bournemouth in the league and Chelsea in the EFL Cup. Pawson has officiated 12 games this season awarding 43 yellow and 1 red cards; the one red card being Harry Arter setting up victory in the game at the London Stadium.

It is relatively rare these days to play the same team twice in successive matches as West Ham visit Old Trafford for the second time in four days.  It was a more common phenomenon in the past where home and away fixtures against the same club were scheduled during the Christmas and Easter holidays or when drawn weekend cup matches were replayed on the following Tuesday or Wednesday.

To the best of my knowledge West Ham meeting the same opponents in successive cup and league fixtures has occurred 5 times previously this century: January 2002 v Chelsea (Lost, Draw); April 2006 v Middlesbro (Lost, Won in FA Cup semi-final); December 2007 v Everton (Lost, Lost); January 2008 v Manchester City (Lost, Draw) and March 2011 v Stoke City (Won, Lost).  History suggests that by not winning on Sunday we have given ourselves a better chance tonight.

Head to Head

The head to head record is little changed since the weekend.

Team News

Predicting lineups for League Cup games has become very difficult with selection contingent on how seriously the respective managers view the competition in the context of their overall season.  It is a potential route into Europe; probably the most promising one for the Hammers while Mourinho’s hubris will ensure his mind remains confident of Champion’s League qualification.

“If we change a few players like United will, it doesn’t mean we are going there just to play a game.It is a quarter-final and to reach the semis is a big thing and we are just a couple of games from the final.”

– Slaven Bilic

Diafro Sakho is back in the treatment room with a hamstring injury while Winston Reid is available again after a one match suspension.  Once more an Andy Carroll return has been rumoured but my instinct is that the Arsenal game is a more realistic target for him.  The alternating goalkeeper’s rule should mean Adrian between the sticks and I would guess at starts for Reid, Fernandes, Ayew and Fletcher.

Pogba and Fellaini are suspended for Manchester United following their yellow cards in Sunday’s encounter.

The Man in the Middle

A first meeting of the season with referee Mike Jones from Chester. Jones was in charge of two West Ham away fixtures last season at Norwich (D 2-2) and Stoke (L 1-2).   Jones has officiated 10 games this season issuing 36 yellow cards and 2 red ones – an impressive 9 of these yellows coming in last weekend’s Arsenal versus Bournemouth game.

I know that the competition has had a number of names over the years according to the particular sponsors at the time, but to me it has always been the League Cup. The current title, the EFL Cup, sounds to me just like a trendy attempt to use initials to jazz up interest in, what, after all, is traditionally the minor competition in the English football calendar. I can never understand why so many clubs treat it comparatively flippantly, because in many ways it is the easiest of the trophies to win, and winning it is a passport into Europe for the following season.

Clubs like ourselves, who were in Europe this season (albeit briefly in our case), received a bye into round 3, and by winning two home games against Accrington Stanley and Chelsea, now find ourselves in round 5, which is the quarter-finals. Get through this round and you are into a two-legged semi-final with the prospect of a trip to Wembley for the winner. Effectively you only have to beat five other clubs to land the trophy.

Now I am old enough to remember the competition starting in 1960-61. It had a controversial beginning and some of the bigger clubs in the Football League didn’t even enter at first. And though it gained surprisingly more popularity than a lot thought it would, many teams even today use the early rounds in particular to give a run out to squad players who wouldn’t necessarily be first choice for Premier League games.

From the outset of the competition we always fielded strong sides, and it is only comparatively recently that we haven’t gone flat out in the early rounds to try to progress. In 1960-61 the side we put out against Darlington was virtually identical to the team that had scored five goals in a Division One game just two days earlier, and the one that put six goals past Arsenal less than a fortnight later. Nevertheless we still managed an ignominious defeat at the hands of a lower division team (3-2), something we have managed to do consistently in our 56 attempts to win this competition. Throughout the years we have been beaten by football giants such as Rotherham, Huddersfield, Stockport (twice), Barnsley, Luton, Oldham (twice), Oxford, Crewe, Northampton, Chesterfield, Aldershot, Wigan, and most recently, Sheffield United. Nottingham Forest have eliminated us four times!

We have been knocked out in Round One on one occasion, Round Two eleven times, Round Three nineteen times, and Round Four ten times. That means we have reached the quarter-final on 15 previous occasions, and our trip to Old Trafford is number 16. Of those 15, we have gone out at the quarter-final stage just six times, and progressed further in nine, which is a decent enough record. But in our nine semi-finals we have only reached the final twice, losing to West Brom in the last of the two-legged finals in 1965-66 (the following year the final was held at Wembley for the first time), and then in a replay to Liverpool in 1980-81, when we were a second tier team taking on the best club in England at the time. That was Liverpool’s first win of the League Cup trophy, but they have gone on to dominate since, and have won it the most times (8).

Of all the players in our current squad, only Noble and Sakho had scored a goal in this competition in previous seasons. Noble scored in the two-legged semi-final in 2010-11 when we went out to Birmingham, and Sakho found the net when we were eliminated by Sheffield United on penalties the season before last. Of course, Payet, Kouyate and Fernandes have all notched a goal this time around. Players of yester-year, on the other hand, managed quite a few goals in League Cup games, with six reaching double figures, Cross and Goddard (12), Stewart (14), Byrne (15), Cottee (18), and Geoff Hurst the most prolific, notching 43 goals in just 47 League Cup appearances.

However, I’ll always remember the penalty Geoff Hurst had saved by Gordon Banks in the final minutes of the semi-final second leg against Stoke in 1971-72. If that had gone in we would have been through to the final (probably). As it was, in the days before penalty shoot-outs, that epic semi-final tie took four games to settle before we lost 3-2 in the dramatic second replay, even though Bobby Moore saved a penalty when taking over in goal from the injured Ferguson (no substitute keepers in those days!).

This is only the third time we have ever faced Manchester United in the League Cup. In our record breaking season of 1985-86, they knocked us out 1-0 in Round 3, whereas on 30 November 2010 (exactly six years ago today, when it was called the Carling Cup) we famously beat them 4-0 in the quarter-final on a freezing night at Upton Park, with a brace apiece for Jonathan Spector and Carlton Cole.

It is 22 years since we last lost a game on the final day of November. Since then we’ve won three and drawn one, with 10 goals scored and only two conceded. And who can ever forget November 30 1988, when we famously put four past Liverpool in a League Cup fourth round game?

It would be great to progress to another semi-final, and then we could even begin to dream of another trip to Wembley. Manchester United are not the force of old, and I am looking forward to us repeating our promising visit there last Sunday, but this time returning with a victory.

The West Ham fixture list of death rolls onto Old Trafford today for the first of two games in a week against Manchester United; a Premier League clash followed by the League Cup quarter final tie on Wednesday. When points are at a premium any old straw is suitable for clutching and a Sunday game against opponents recovering from Thursday night European action can offer a glimmer of hope. Disappointingly this was no many thousand mile round-trip to an outpost in far-eastern Europe and a bruising encounter with uncompromising opposition but a stroll in the park at home against Feyenoord. In many ways the worst possible result for West Ham’s hopes that will give an unconvincing Manchester side renewed sense confidence before returning to today’s league action. The Hammers on the other hand have had a whole week to dwell on the late, late surrender of three points at White Hart Lane last weekend.

There were some positives to take from the Tottenham game even if there was no reward at the end of it. As a minimum we need to see the same level of intensity, organisation, pace and energy that was shown for much of last week’s performance. Otherwise it is likely to end up as just another frustrating and barren trip to this particular north-west graveyard of dreams. Playing two games at Old Trafford in four days the chances of getting something from both would look to be very slim. In different circumstances I might be happy to trade defeat today for victory in the cup clash but the desperation for points, in a game where an 8-0 defeat would see the Hammers drop into the bottom 3, leaves the league game as the top priority.

Head to Head

Although West Ham’s record at Old Trafford is quite poor it is nowhere near as unprofitable as visits to Anfield have been and there have been some notable victories over the years; the most recent being the Tevez match on the last day of the 2006/07 great escape season. Before that there were two wins at either end of 2001 including the famous PDC/ Barthez goal, a memorable victory in the opening week of the 1986/87 season and exactly 40 years ago today West Ham ran out 2-0 victors with goals from Trevor Brooking and Billy Jennings.

Team News

Winston Reid is suspended following the late sending off at White Hart Lane and there is a rumour that Andy Carroll is fit, although this is likely to be more of that fake news that we have been hearing about lately. Of course, Andy is our joint top scoring striker with 0 goals to his name and so the bar is not set too high for his return. I imagine that Sakho will start up front again following his energetic performance last week and maybe Carroll will be on the bench with Fletcher. It will be very disappointing if West Ham have bothered to pay Zaza’s train fare up to Manchester as surely even the most blind optimist knows by now that he is a lost cause; it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to continue to involve him.

“But I see the improvement. Against Spurs I saw a team hungry and alive, the points were there for us in a difficult away game, so that’s what I’m confident about.”

Slaven Bilic

With no right back available it is probable that the 3 at the back experiment will persist with Collins coming in for Reid and meaning that Antonio’s defending will open again to scrutiny this time by Mourinho’s men. One of the positives from last Saturday was the speed with which we broke but that is all likely to change with the re-introduction of skipper Mark ‘Sideways’ Noble into the midfield.

Bailly and Smalling are out for Manchester United who otherwise have no further injury or suspension concerns. Wayne Rooney requires two more goals to overtake fellow baldy Bobby Charlton as all-time Manchester United top scorer and who better than West Ham to oblige in such circumstances.

Man in the Middle

The referee today is Jonathan “Jon” Moss from West Yorkshire (why do so many referees seem to come from Yorkshire?). This is West Ham’s second encounter with Mr Moss this season; the first being the 3-0 home defeat by Southampton in September. Moss has officiated is 12 games so far this season issuing 57 yellow cards and 2 reds. Guaranteed that he will award Manchester United a penalty today (probably for some Ogbonna grappling).

Before last week’s visit to White Hart Lane, I wrote a poem based on the famous ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. It almost, although not quite, brought us a famous victory, so this week I am inspired to try once again.

I included similar poems in my book, Goodbye Upton Park, Hello Stratford, which incidentally is available in paperback or Kindle on Amazon. So if you are looking for a Christmas present for a West Ham fan, and don’t want to spend big money for a piece of the Upton Park turf in a glass case, or a plastic seat from the stands, then look no further. I have been a regular at Upton Park for almost sixty years, and the book chronicles the last famous season there.

‘Twas the night before Old Trafford when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse;

In our last game, we went to the Lane;
It was going so well, damn Harry Kane;
Still seventeenth place, we visit Man U;
In need of three points, though one might just do;

We need to improve, be faster and bolder;
Another defeat, we’ll look over our shoulder;
‘Cos Hull are at home, with West Brom in town,
If they win their game, we’ll fall further down;

But remember last May, our last Boleyn game;
They turned up late, by coach they came;
They let us in late to take up our seating;
Man U lost the game, a hell of a beating;

We drew up there twice, Van Gaal was in charge;
And now it’s Mourinho, giving it large;
They’re not really that good, they’re run of the mill;
I reckon today we’ll beat them to nil;

Our season to date, there’s no valid reason;
To think we can win to kick start our season;
Optimistic as ever, we’ll get out of the jam;
‘Cos we are the mighty, the mighty West Ham.

One of my first memories in life was the day after my fourth birthday when the Manchester United plane crashed during take-off in Munich, and so many of their players were killed. Quite rightly there was a lot of sympathy for the club at this time, and they were a popular club throughout the country. In the years that followed, players like Charlton, Law and Best were revered as great footballers, and admired by many.

But the world has changed since those days. Fans no longer have any appreciation for the opposition, and with many it is a dislike or even hatred. United seem to be one of the teams that are most hated in English football. Perhaps it is their success which breeds jealousy, or is it those glory fans which latch themselves on to the club because of that success which so riles opposition supporters?

Are they a lucky team? Have more refereeing decisions gone their way than you would have expected? Have they attracted players that opposition fans just seem to hate so much? Keane, Cantona, Rooney, are just three examples. And for all his success over many years, and managerial achievements second to none, there was little warmth for Ferguson, among other clubs’ fans. And I suspect the same is true for Mourinho today.

But despite all the hatred they have been the most successful club in English football, and they have won more considerably more trophies, especially in the last twenty-five years, than any other team. We have been on the end of some heavy defeats by them in my lifetime, but we have also had many famous victories. The FA Cup semi-final in 1964 at Hillsborough, the FA Cup victory at Old Trafford when Di Canio was not put off by Barthez, the Tevez goal in the final game that staved off relegation, a 4-2 victory in 1977 which also kept us up, the great performance from Miklosko which denied them a league title, and of course, perhaps the greatest of all, and certainly the most emotional, the last game at Upton Park, are all examples of superb memories of matches against them.

We could really do with something from this game. The optimist in me is hoping for a victory. I’m certainly hoping that if we are leading in the 89^th minute then we can hang on this week!