Author: Geoff Hopkins

The Gold and Sullivan Years in Numbers: An Era of Stagnation and Squandered Opportunity

We hope it’s all over. Running the numbers on an unenterprising, wasteful, self-aggrandising and shameful period in the history of West Ham United

It all started with low expectations, went mostly downhill, and ended in a slurry of sleaze and shady behaviour. With the Gold and Sullivan era hopefully gone forever, we look back on the numbers which define this wasteful and distasteful period of West Ham history.

16 – the number of seasons ‘competing’ in the topflight. The first match on 26 January 2010, a 1-1 draw away at Portsmouth leaving West Ham in 16th position. The last, a 3-0 home win on 24 May 2026 confirming the Hammer’s relegation with an 18th place finish.

2 – the number of Premier League relegations. One a consequence of their first disastrous managerial appointment in 2011. The other, the culmination of shocking mismanagement in the aftermath of the European Conference success and the transfer of Declan Rice.

6 – the number of top ten finishes (excluding the Championship year) out of 16 attempts. The highest was 6th place in 2020/21, a season which also set West Ham Premier League records for number of wins (19) and points gained (65).

633 – total number of league games played, of which 214 were won (33.8%) and 258 lost (40.7%). In the Premier League only, the 190 victories from 587 games (32.3%) were overshadowed by 250 defeats (42.6%). West Ham stand proud as holders of the record for all-time number of Premier League defeats.

13th – the average league finishing position throughout the Gold and Sullivan years. This is reflected in an average Premier League points tally of 45. As a club featuring regularly among the world’s top twenty richest – and one of the top 8 richest in England – these are far from impressive statistics.

3 – the number of topflight seasons when West Ham won more league games than they lost. And unsurprisingly, these are also the only seasons that ended with a positive goal difference. The seasons in question: 2015/16, 2020/21 and 2021/22.

9 – number of managers employed – technically, it is 10 if you count David Moyes twice. The entire rogue’s gallery comprises Gianfranco Zola, Avram Grant, Sam Allardyce, Slaven Bilic, David Moyes, Manuel Pellegrini, Julen Lopetegui, Graham Potter, and Nuno Espirito Santo. The strongest link in terms of Premier League win percentage is David Moyes (36.87%). The weakest was Avram Grant (18.92%). Anywhere between 45% and 55% is usually considered to be a strong managerial performance.

2.9 billion – the cumulative amount in pounds received in revenues over 17 seasons from broadcast, matchday and commercial sources. A club record of £270 million was posted in the 2024 accounts. It is estimated that relegation will cost the club at least £100 million in income next season.

1.34 billion – the amount paid in euros (sorry, all Transfermkt data is in euros) for player transfer fees. At today’s exchange rate that is £1.15 billion. In addition to the 92 players signed for a fee, there were 36 free transfers and 41 loans – a total of 169 players in all. The record signing was Sebastien Haller at €50 million with another 17 players costing €25 million or more. 

650 million– the amount received (€) for player transfers. West Ham sold 67 players and allowed 55 to leave on a free. The record sale was Declan Rice (€116 m) with only five other players sold for €25 million or more. The sale of Rio Ferdinand in 2000 continues to hold sixth place in the ranking of highest transfer fees received.

1.1 billion– the cumulative amount (£) paid in wages to achieve very little. The wage bill as well as transfer spend has increased significantly in recent years. All to assemble a squad fit for relegation.

16,711,118 – the number shuffling through the turnstiles at West Ham home matches, both at Upton Park and the London Stadium.

47,475 – the average home attendance (excluding COVID restricted games) across 352 matches – they keep turning up regardless. The average for games played at Upton Park was 32,836. At the London Stadium, 58,219. Attendance numbers have now become theoretical rather than actual body counts with the highest recorded attendances of 35,005 at Upton Park and 62,477 at the London Stadium.

214 – total number of players fielded by West Ham during first team games in all competitions. 81 of whom made fewer than 10 starts for the club.

426 – the highest number of appearances made by an individual player during the GSB era – Mark Noble. Next best is Aaron Cresswell at 369 with the following each breaking the 200 barrier: Michail Antonio (323), Tomas Soucek (284), Jarrod Bowen (280), Angelo Ogbonna (249), Declan Rice (245), Manuel Lanzini (226), Winston Reid (222), James Tomkins (205) and Pablo Fornals (203).

85 – the most goals scored by an individual player in all competitions – the ever-reliable Bowen. Antonio is next with 83 and he remains the club’s all-time leading Premier League goalscorer (68 to Bowen’s 65.) Just 5 other players managed 20 or more Premier League goals to their name. These are Soucek (41), Noble (37), Andy Carroll (33), Lanzini (27), and Marko Arnautovic (21). The frequently injured Carroll is the only player brought in as an out and out striker to feature on the list.

16 – most league goals scored in a season by an individual player – Bowen in 2023/24. Second place with 14 goes to Carlton Cole in the 2011/12 Championship season. West Ham players have reached double figures on just eight other occasions in the Premier League: Bowen (13) in 2024/25, Bowen (12) in 2021/22, Arnautovic (11) in 2017/18, Antonio (10) in 2019/20, Antonio & Soucek (10) in 2020/21, Diafra Sakho (10) in 2014/15 and Kevin Nolan (10) in 2012/13.

1069– the total number of goals scored by West Ham (1.39 per game) in all competitions. Goals conceded totalled 1083 (1.41 per game). For league games only, the numbers are 849 for (1.34 per game) and 952 against (1.50 per game).

8 – the most goals scored by West Ham in a single game – the 8-0 win against Macclesfield in the 2018/19 League Cup. The biggest league win was 6-0 in the Championship against Brighton (2011/12). Although West Ham scored 5 on 4 occasions in cup competitions, they were unable to repeat that feat in the Premier League. Ironically, the last 5 goal haul came just before the takeover – a 5-3 win over Burnley in November 2009. The Hammers bagged 4 on 30 separateoccasions, 20 times in topflight games.

6 – most goals conceded in a single match – once in a 6-0 league cup semi, first leg defeat by Manchester City in 2014, and again in the league versus Arsenal in 2024.  The West Ham rearguard conceded 5 goals on 12 occasions and 4 goals 33 times.

8 – highest aggregate score in a West Ham game – the 8-0 win against Macclesfield. There were 7 games featuring 7 goals – 4-3 wins against Huddersfield and Portsmouth, 2-5 losses to Liverpool and Arsenal, and 3-4 defeats to Bournemouth, Palace and Newcastle.

139 – the number of West Ham clean sheets earned in Premier League games (23.6% of games played)

161 – the number of Premier League games in which the Hammers failed to score (27.4%)

35 – the total number of goalless games featuring West Ham (5.9%). Goalless draws peaked during the Sam Allardyce years, accounting for 40% of the total.

13 – the number of players to win the Hammer of The Year Award. Declan Rice has three wins, Scott Parker and Mark Noble two, Winston Reid, Aaron Cresswell, Dimitri Payet, Michail Antonio, Marko Arnautovic, Lukasz Fabianski, Tomas Soucek, Jarrod Bowen, Aaron Wan-Bissaka, and Konstantinos Mavropanos one each.

1 – the number of trophies won. That night in Prague and victory over Fiorentina in the Europa Conference League. A victory that the owners hoped to dine on for eternity. West Ham competed in five European campaigns. Two under Slaven Bilic where they were eliminated in the qualifying rounds and three under David Moyes. As well as the Conference win, the Moyes campaigns saw one semi-final and one quarter-final Europa League appearance, losing both to German opposition.

0 – the number of domestic trophies won or finals reached. In the FA Cup, the best efforts were quarter-final exits in 2011, 2016 and 2026. In the League Cup, the Hammers were losing semi-finalists in 2011 and 2014 and were knocked out in the quarter finals four times. Ironically, the best performing cup year was the Avram Grant relegation season.

0 – the number of people disappointed at seeing the back of David Sullivan

Czech Mate: Knight Takes Porn To Capture Control Of West Ham Board

Optimism reigns as Daniel Kretinsky rides to the rescue at the London Stadium. Should we be excited and what is needed to recover from the shortcomings of the last 16 years?

Never in the field of humiliating relegations has despair turned to optimism quite as quickly as it has at West Ham in recent days. First the welcome and overdue resignation of Chairman David Sullivan ahead of the Panorama revelations. And then the news that Daniel Kretinsky is to purchase a chunk of the Gold family shares to make himself the Hammer’s largest stakeholder. Cue an old-fashioned east-end knees up!

Since then, the rumour mill has gone into overdrive with a deluge of plans and proposals (both real and imaginery) that would make West Ham great again. New investment to clear debts, dampening down the fire sale, sorting out the unlovable stadium and developing a fit-for-purpose training facility are just a few of them. Turns out our saviour was hiding in plain sight all along. Just waiting for the asset to get distressed enough to ride to the rescue in his trademark style.

It is a reasonable question to ask what Kretinsky has been doing these past five years. Had he been thwarted in attempts to modernise the club by the intransigent Sullivan/ Gold alliance? Or was it always his intention to take a watching brief from afar and await the collapse? After all, in the most recent accounts he was not even listed as a director. Still, he has been making all the right noises in the media, and we owe him the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. Time will tell whether he can follow through on the promises or whether the good intentions end up as another piece of nostalgic memorabilia alongside the Gold and Sullivan 10-point pledge?

As I had written previously, if the plan had been to use funds from player sales to pay off the transfer debt to other clubs and to clear the expensive loans that had been taken out, then West Ham were in deep trouble. In that sense, the message that additional investment would be forthcoming (however that is achieved) is as crucial as it is welcome.

Player sales are still be inevitable to comply with the 85% squad cost ratio rules in light of the estimated £100 million hit on revenues that relegation brings. But the impact needn’t be so great if the club’s cash flow problems are ameliorated. It also strengthens the club’s negotiating position for the transfer of those unwilling to spend at least one season in the lower tier. I would be mightily surprised if any of Fernandes, Summerville, Todibo, Diouf, Wan-Bissaka, Areola, Alvarez, and Fullkrug were still around in August. There may also be others who want to leave, or the club would prefer to have off the payroll.

The objective will be to shift the bigger names for as high a price (and as high a profit) as possible. Play hard ball and the more competition for signatures the better. The bigger the player trading profit, the more that can be reinvested in rebuilding.

The flipside of the expected exodus is the size of the rebuild. The challenge to assemble a squad not only capable of battling their way to promotion but also forming the backbone on the return to the Premier League. West Ham have been notoriously poor at player trading for as long as I can remember – would you believe that the sale of Rio Ferdinand 26 years ago is still seventh in the list of the club’s record transfers out – and requires immediate attention. The rumoured appointment of Steve Nickson (from Newcastle) as Director of Football/ Technical Director sounds like a very positive move. His up-to-date knowledge and expertise would allow him to hit the ground the running in the current transfer window. The turnaround in personnel will be huge and I’m nowhere near as bullish as some on the value our youth players can offer.

The thorny issue (for anyone taking up the DoF role) will be Nuno and his historically over-cosy relationship with friend and super-agent Jorge Mendes. The impression I have of the manager is that he is churlish enough to refuse to play a signing simply because he was not involved in the recruitment process. The DoF/ manager relationship is critical to a successful window and a quick return to the top tier.

One area where Kretinsky’s business empire could come in handy is getting in on the associated party action when securing lucrative sponsorship deals. If it’s good enough for Manchester City!  I’m visualising Royal Mail as our shirt sponsor. First Class Mail for the faster players. Second Class for the rest!  

No doubt, Kretinsky’s immediate priorities will be to sort out the finances and oversee the extensive transfer business over the coming months. Improving the stadium and training facilities are both much longer term projects. The stadium is saddled with so many vested interests and reputations that it is difficult to see a clear way forward for now. That the current arrangement really doesn’t suit anyone should, however, be motivation enough to act.

As for the training ground, could the writing be on the wall for the Rush Green Portakabin village and its satellites? A consolidated location has long been needed to bring the facilities up to contemporary standards and to foster continuity from youth to senior football. It will probably mean a move out of Greater London into the estuarine hinterlands of Essex but so be it. In the Czech tradition, maybe land is available at Bataville in east Tilbury. And the ‘Academy of Football’ really deserves a campus, not just a training ground!

The mention of churlishness earlier, reminds us that David Sullivan is not entirely out of the picture as yet. His days of calling the shots on operational matters may be well and truly over but until he sells up, he remains a significant shareholder. And the support of all large shareholders is required for any major restructuring decisions the club may need. How will he react to the impotency of his behind-the-scenes exile? Will he go gently into the night, tail between his legs? Or linger stubbornly like that bad smell when a mate has been sick in the backseat of your Cortina.

The last thing Kretinsky needs is Sullivan as an obstacle as he plots his next moves. One night in Stratford makes a hard man humble, not much between despair and ecstasy. COYI!

Sundry Sport Exclusive: Former West Ham Chairman Probed By Aliens

In a parallel universe.

The scene is a tacky Essex mansion at the start of a new season. Karen Brady reclines on a four-poster waterbed reading the latest Jackie Collins novel as David Sullivan emerges from the bathroom wearing only a Cossack shower cap.

All seems well with the world. The pain, anguish and humiliation of the previous season had never happened. There had been no relegation, no impending fire sale, no executive resignations, and no TV exposés. Graham Potter had tippy-tappyed his team to surprise European qualification, Niclas Fullkrug was up for the golden boot – and Bobby Ewing was still alive. It had all been a bad dream, just like in Dallas.

Back to life, back to reality!

The sudden resignation of David Sullivan from his executive positions at West Ham last Saturday was met with spontaneous, universal and unbridled joy across the West Hammersphere. Prayers had finally been answered; the despised Chairman was no more. As one astute commentator put it: “they’ll be dancing in the streets of the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park tonight.”

The Panorama documentary was probably not as revealing as many had hoped. Not helped by its short length, early evening slot, parts played by actors, and that we were already familiar with much of the sleaze involved. Reading the accounts of the accusers in The Times were far more harrowing. The damage for Sullivan is more that it may prompt others to come forward with further allegations from his sordid past.

At least there was enough in the broadcast to close the door on any idea Sullivan may have had about a return to the boardroom. We are well rid of him.

But like everything at West Ham, as one door opens another slams rudely in your face. Sullivan may have stepped away from executive involvement and the day to day running of the club but, for now, remains the largest single shareholder. Not surprisingly, speculation is rife as to what might happen next. Will Sullivan choose to sell? Will he be forced out by the football regulator? Will Kretinski want to assume greater control? Is someone else waiting in the wings in the hope of picking up what has become a distressed asset?

It will be a pivotal summer for West Ham’s future as they scramble to sort out finances, cash flows, compliance with squad cost ratios (from vastly reduced revenues) – and to assemble a squad capable of returning to the Premier League at first time of asking. Not the best time for the club’s ownership to be in limbo.

The previously proposed sale of Gold Family holdings giving Sullivan and Kretinski equal stakes at 40% was never finalised in the light of relegation. Had it happened, the changes to individuals with significant control would have required notification to Companies House – and would be available to see.

So, as things stand, we are left with the original fragmented ownership structure of Sullivan (38.8%), Kretinski (27%), Gold Family (25.1%), Tripp Smith (8%) and Others (1.1%).  Sullivan, like anyone else with a 25% plus stake, is able to veto any resolutions which impact the club’s constitution, share capital, mergers and acquisitions etc. At worst, he can continue to mess things up behind the scenes. At best, he needs to support whatever way forward is proposed.

Further, Sullivan’s appointees (currently his two sons) sit on the board and are able to contribute to decisions on operational matters on his behalf.

In theory, the Independent Football Regulator could order Sullivan to sell his holding, but this is likely to be used as a last resort. As odious an individual as he is, does he really stand out from the crowd when it comes to fit and proper ownership in modern football?

Far better that the ownership is resolved internally. Indeed, a clean sweep purging all Golds and Sullivans from the club would be the ideal scenario. It is difficult to believe that either of Sullivan’s sons would want to spend too much time in the media spotlight given a likely ongoing investigation, and with a mother who is best known as director of ‘Horny Housewives on the Job.’ And the Gold family are only in there by default.

Kretinski has been making all the right noises so far, but it is not known what appetite he has for greater investment. It is understood the put-and-call option negotiated in 2021 is still on the table, but the originally agreed price may no longer be attractive to him.

A third party – Amanda Staveley, Daniel Levy, predatory US venture capital, a Tony Cottee consortium – buying up all the Gold & Sullivan shares would give them majority control although Kretinski would need to approve any such a move.

While all this is going on, a question mark remains over who is at the wheel to oversee the summer clear out and rebuild. Someone needs to drag West Ham’s operational structure, finances, recruitment and coaching into the 21st century. And a cool head is needed to turn to the so-called ‘Fire Sale’ into an effective rebuilding fund – refusing to blink when the big clubs come knocking. And to recruit not only for the Championship but with an eye to the future beyond?

It’s going to be a cold, lonely summer. COYI!

Sifting Through The Wreckage Of West Ham’s Relegation: What Happens Next?

The pride, vanity, stupidity and arrogance of David Sullivan’s leadership was an accident waiting to happen. Now we must rely on the same fools to sort it out again.

The long and painful slow motion car crash which heralded West Ham’s inevitable relegation finally reached its climax at the weekend. A late show of industry but no last minute dramatic escape. Now they are over the edge how far will they fall? A safe landing? Or crashing and burning into the abyss below?

Media coverage of West Ham’s plight has seen assorted journos belatedly understand what fans have known for years. That the fault of the Hammer’s demise lies fairly and squarely in the boardroom. A club run for the self-aggrandisement and vanity of incompetent owners who had always considered themselves as benevolent saviours. Forget the broken promises and the ten-point pledges that were not worth the paper they were written. It was only ever about their own egos – amateur interference and arrogant meddling in a sport that ought to be run by professionals.

Perhaps you could get away with running a club as a hobby in the past when promoted clubs regularly struggled to make the step up to the Premier League. But that has all changed. The game has changed. Data analytics, extensive scouting netwroks, player trading strategies, organisation, planning and a reliance on pace and athleticism on the pitch have been universally embraced – except at West Ham who have plodded along from one short-sighted season to the next.

Post relegation media reports have also homed in on the Hammer’s decline since the 2023 European Conference success, but the rot had set in well before then. Instead, the high-water mark was the surprise sixth-place finish in 2020/21, and it was the failure to refresh and build on that success which started the fire. The departure of Declan Rice and wasting the proceeds on a string of erratic recruits was the accelerant.

West Ham are now on their fourth manager in a little over three years. I was expecting it to be five, but it seems the Czech Sphinx has pulled rank to provide Nuno with a stay of execution. Nuno’s haul of 36 points from 33 games is hardly impressive while strange selections and tactics, multiple points lost from winning positions, and puzzling game management strategies have frequently left us scratching our heads. Still, compared to the other names being bandied about (Parker, Bilic, Dyche) sticking with the devil you know might not be such a bad idea. Only time will tell.

It has not been sacking managers that is the root of the club’s problem but making poor hiring decisions in the first place. The sole criteria for appointment being out of work and available. In the absence of any footballing expertise or competent direction from the boardroom this approach has proven a recipe for chaos. A squad assembled by a succession of drive-by managers, a lame-duck technical director and a meddling know-it-all Chairman. Who could have thought such lack of cohesion and continuity would end in disaster?

Now we are being led to believe the same fools who got us into this mess are the ones capable of getting us out of it again. If the player exodus is anywhere near as extensive as predicted, how on earth does a club with such an abysmal transfer record put together a squad capable of promotion over the long and arduous season ahead.

Understandably, a lot of focus in the wake of relegation has turned to the fragile state of West Ham’s finances. But we should remember that there are two separate views of finance in football. The club’s ability to comply with prevailing league rules such as PSR and SCR is one. The club’s debt and cash flow position is the other. A cynic might say that club owners conveniently conflate the two as a means of hoodwinking fans.

It will come as no surprise that the West Ham board have made a right pig’s ear of both. When it comes to cash flow, the club has extensive transfer debt, expensive financial debt and has factored future transfers receivable at a discount to pay yesterday’s bills. Attempting to address these through revenues and transfers looks like a distressing prospect. The hope is that the owners will break the habit of a lifetime and inject further capital to stabilise the debt burden.

West Ham’s financial year closes on 31 May and plans must now be put in place to comply with the Championship’s 85% Squad Cost Ratio rules based on much reduced revenues for the coming year. My rough back of a beer mat calculations predicts a loss of around £60 million in the current year on revenues of £225 million plus a raft of transfers out. This should be well within the retiring PSR limits thanks largely to the continuing impact of the Rice sale in 2023.

For 2026/27 revenues will probably fall to around £125 million. Squad costs (salaries and player amortisation) are currently circa £245 million but may reduce by £50 or £60 millions depending on how widespread relegation clauses are applied in existing contracts. But this still exceeds SCR limits and player sales are going to be necessary. This is where things become interesting as individual sales have varying impacts in three separate areas: a saving in wages, a reduction in amortisation, and profit or loss on player trading depending on whether a player is sold above or below book value. Profits from player trading are added to revenues for the purposes of SCR. Claims that West Ham must make £150 million in player sales might be valid as a cash flow mitigation but for SCR no two transfers are alike.

As the following table illustrates, this produces many possible permutations. For example, selling Bowen for £50 million would generate a significant wage saving, have little or no amortisation impact but the whole fee can be booked as player trading profit. In contrast, selling Fernandes for £50 million provides a lower wage savings, a significant amortisation reduction, but only £20 million of player sale profit.

At the other end of the scale, it might prove impossible to offload players such as Kilman and Fullkrug without taking an unwanted hit on player sales. I don’t see anyway it makes sense to cancel player contracts early.

The Championship moving from PSR to SCR does seem to offer a glimmer of hope. But that still requires the owners to do the decent thing and inject much needed capital into the club. The club also need to hold their nerve and not sell players on the cheap just to get funds through the door. We will watch this space. COYI!

One Nil To The VARsenal: Two Tier Refereeing May Finally Have Relegated West Ham

A spirited Hammer’s performance is to no avail as a zombie strike and the dark arts of Arsenal and VAR strip them of a point in the dying minutes of Sunday’s London Stadium clash

Football was once such a simple game. It was simplicity that defined its beauty and popularity. Sure, the laws of the game have always been a matter of subjective interpretation, but refereeing gaffes were mostly forgotten by the time it took to reach the platform at Upton Park station. Then came the big money, the detailed media scrutiny, the game’s tactical and physical overload, the PGMOL and its cadre of celebrity refs. What a mighty mess it has become.

As a supporter holding varying opinions are part of the game’s appeal. If you think Tomas Soucek is the beating heart of West Ham and I think he is a liability most of the time, it really makes no odds. But when it comes to officiating erratic variation is unacceptable. We need consistency and fairness without fear nor favour. Infringements to treated equally no matter where on the pitch they occur. We shouldn’t need to worry about elapsed time when one player is holding another’s shirt, all shirt pulling should be penalised. If it was, it would soon stop. As would grappling at corners. As would players cheating by diving in the area. Or players getting away with constantly complaining to the referee provided they wave no imaginary cards.

Threats to clamp down on cheating have a long history but other than sending off Manuel Lanzini, nothing has ever come of it. Any coincidence that it is the ‘elite’ clubs who are most enamoured with the game’s dark arts? Do they have a Dark Arts coach?

If a spy had been sent along the Arsenal training ground, I’m certain they would have returned with tales of Arteta holding diving and squealing drills. Everyone knows they do it, yet a supposedly experienced referee in Chris Kavanagh bought the con all afternoon – like a gullible toddler falling for a three-card trick. But such naivety collapsed into insignificance compared to the added time VAR imbroglio that would sour the outcome.

I predicted in last week’s article that Nuno would resort to three centre backs for this game and that is exactly what happened. Jean-Clair Todibo coming in and Pablo dropping to the bench. Aaron Wan-Bissaka was also favoured over Kyle Walker-Peters.

The Hammers started cautiously and showed little enterprise in the opening exchanges. But following a flurry of early scares and scrambles, they settled down to contain Arsenal relatively comfortably. For a team leading the table the Gunners had little invention until Odegaard was introduced. Set pieces being the greatest danger to the West Ham goal. Arteta’s weird decision to react to White’s injury by moving Rice to full back offered the Hammer’s encouragement, and the half ended with a long range Taty header well saved by Raya.

For once, Nuno’s men were quick to shake off their half-time slumbers and managed to stifle what attacking threat the visitors could muster – mainly Saka shooting over the bar. The game’s first major turning point came in the 78th minute when Mateus Fernandes wriggled clear in the six-yard box and rather than aim for the wide-open spaces at the goal’s far corner shot tamely against the keeper’s legs. An xG of 110% if I’ve ever seen one!  

Five minutes later and Arsenal were one up. There is very little to admire when watching Arteta’s Arsenal – unless ruthless, underhand efficiency is your entertainment of choice. And high on the list of unlikeables is Leandro Trossard, a player who would be at home as an extra on the Walking Dead – there must be some zombie genes in there somewhere. True to form though, having spent the entire afternoon griping and bellyaching to all and sundry he pops up with the decisive goal.

But the games true drama was yet to come. Nuno’s last throw of the dice was the belated arrival of supersub Callum Wilson. Immediately, he was presented with a good shooting opportunity, blocked on the line. Then moments later he fired home what should have been a vital equaliser. The stadium erupted. A fiesta of joyous screaming, yelling, shouting, jumping and dancing. It may not have been enough to save the season, but it was just reward for the spirit and attitude demonstrated by the players.

But the cancer of VAR had other ideas. Let’s face it, once the check started we all knew the outcome would be inevitble. Clear and obvious be blowed. This was a decision of expedience. What conclusion would generate the minimum fallout. Darren England took and age, umming and ahhing before evading all responsibility with a hospital pass back to the referee. Kavanagh stood in a trance watching the same clip 17 times before reaching his self-interest conclusion. After review, I have decided which side my bread is buttered and find for the prosecution.

All season, there have been complaints about the grappling and wrestling at corners pioneered by Arsenal. It has been the source of many goals for them, and they may well hold a patent on it. As the corner came in there were bodies flying and colliding everywhere. Rice was manhandling Mavropanos, Trossard had his arms around Pablo, yet Pablo’s coming together with Raya was the only incident deemed worthy of review. Why no penalty check?

We know from experience that if you watch the same clip over and over again, from different angles, and in slow motion, it will start to look dodgy. The reason so many pundits were convinced of Paqueta’s guilt in the Betway betting fiasco.

Again, the inconsistency of VAR was to the fore. A review that took so long to complete could not be classed as clear and obvious. And what of proximate cause? Had Trossard not been grappling Pablo, would his arm have gone anywhere near the advancing keeper?

Pablo must have dreamed of finally making such a decisive impact on a game – but not like this. As an aside, I’ve only recently discovered Pablo is the son of Brazilian footballer, Pena, a former teammate of Nuno at Porto. His signing, a modern-day equivalent of Moyes buying Jordan Hugill from his cash strapped Preston North End mates.

Who cannot see that the micro analysis of VAR has been terrible for fans and the spontaneity of the game? It’s concerning itself with incidents that were never an issue before its introduction. The only beneficiaries are the broadcasters given privileged access to the conversations that take place. Granting them talking points to liven up the underwhelming product that Premier League football often is. One further action interlude alongside scanning for celebrities in the crowd and endless action replays while the on-field action continues.

It quite amazing that the clubs were given the option to abandon VAR in the summer but decided (apart from Wolves) to vote against it.

The Hammer’s plight looks beyond desperate now – although that could change if Leeds do the decent thing and beat Tottenham tonight. As for the title, I would love it, love it, if Arsenal bottled it in the last two games – and then get thrashed in the Champions League final. COYI!

They Think It’s All Over: The Impending West Ham Apocalypse Looks Increasingly Certain

A double whammy of West Ham surrender and Tottenham victory leaves the Hammers on the precipice of relegation. What we see in the abyss is not a pretty sight.

The weekend results couldn’t really have gone any worse. We are left floundering like the hapless guest in the election special studio. The votes have been cast, the exit polls announced, your party has almost certainly lost but you are obliged to put on the bravest possible despite the inevitable outcome. Desperate soundbites about fighting on, giving it our best, still having hope. So many tears I’ve cried, so much pain inside, but it ain’t over ’til it’s over.

Some weeks ago, I had suggested that if West Ham were going to earn survival under their own steam, then the visits to Palace and Brentford would be critical games. Three or more points from those two matches should be the minimum return. The alternative was a reliance that our relegation rivals would perform even worse. Once the Palace game fizzled out into a lacklustre draw, Saturday’s trip to the Gtech Stadium took on even greater importance.

Not unexpectedly, Nuno named an unchanged side for the game. Why not? It had served him well enough in recent weeks even though quantifying its magic ingredient had been impossible to articulate. Had it just been a long run of good luck that had seen us rocket up the form table? In truth, we’d hardly taken any game by the scruff of the neck. And playing two consecutive halves of dominant front foot football in any fixture had proven equally elusive.

The Hammers looked nervy from the off. More mis-controls and misplaced passes than usual before finally settling down to a semblance of normality. An early opportunity for the Bees, an even better one for Pablo, before Brentford capitalised on indecisive defending at the far post to open the scoring.

The set-back prompted West Ham’s best spell of the game. Almost immediately, Taty hit the post, fluffed a good headed opportunity and later struck the post once again. There was a hearty cheer when Dinos headed powerfully home from a Diouf free-kick, but it was not to VAR’s liking. One ear and part of a shoulder were deemed to be offside at the point the lines were drawn. It is ridiculous that VAR looks at anything other than the position of the feet when drawing those offside lines.

There is an argument that with a little luck we could have been leading at the break. But that ignores the Damsgaard miss that followed the comical heading attempt by Hermansen, and the surprisingly weak finish by Thiago when put through on goal.

Any ideas of a storming comeback would be dashed early in the second half. Once again, the Hammers had left their resolve back in the dressing room and when Diouf’s stupid going to ground tackle gifted the Bees a penalty, it was effectively game over – notwithstanding Summerville making it a hattrick of woodwork interventions and the denial of two reasonable penalty shouts by referee Craig Pawson and Eddie (not so) Smart on VAR duty.  

Brentford have a no-nonsense side which has been assembled at minimal cost. It contains no prima-donnas, and every man is competent in the basics of the game – run, control and pass. The same cannot be said for our sorry mob. The Bees completed the misery by adding a third indicating that Nuno’s emperor’s new clothes formation had been well and truly found out. The limitations of players who are either too slow, tactically naïve or possess below par technical skills cannot punch above their weight forever. Once the weaknesses have been identified, exploiting them is relatively straightforward for any astute opposition coach.

Most will be familiar with Einsteins definition of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Well, welcome to Nuno’s theory of game management. His substitutions were once again baffling in their timing and personnel – topped off by subjecting Pablo to a full 90 minutes’ worth of humiliation.

Week by week, I’ve been willing Pablo to cast off the no-goals-scored burden from his shoulders to reveal the true footballer underneath. But now I’m wondering whether he has ever played the game before. It would be no surprise to learn he is another long-lost cousin of George Weah. Could it be the ridiculous beard that’s slowing him down?

That early miss on Saturday summed him up perfectly. No pace, cumbersome, poor control and completely devoid of confidence.

I’m fully resigned to relegation now. It would be a huge shock if it doesn’t happen. The likelihood of further twists and turns in the relegation battle are as improbable as witnessing twists and turns by our players on the pitch. For them, sequences of sideways and backwards passing remain de rigueur.

It will be title-chasing Arsenal up next. The Hammers record against the Gunners is very poor. Four wins from the last 27 league games, with only one of those victories at home – thanks to Declan Rice’s only goal of the game in January 2019. It’s guaranteed that Nuno will go three at the back for this one and pin all his hopes on a miracle.

Should the inevitable happen, it will be my sixth West Ham relegation experience. The current state of the club suggests a far longer stint in the doldrums than we have seen before. A squad stripped of its remaining quality rattling around in the half-empty stadium bowl is not an appealing thought. What lies beneath is frightening.

The club are quick to put out Behind The Scenes videos on the rare occasion of a victory. A true behind the scenes look at West Ham would reveal little is going on behind the curtain. It’s all a façade. A club with no strategy, with sub-standard infrastructure and an amateurish approach to player recruitment. We can only look in awe at how well run clubs such as Bournemouth, Brentford, and Brighton are as they strive for European football on limited resources.

How will it be possible for West Ham to handle the massive turnover in personnel that relegation would trigger while avoiding the perils of a points deductions that non-compliance with the Championship’s PSR rules would bring. Leicester City, here we come!

As I see it, Mavropanos, Todibo, Diouf, Fernandes, Summerville, Bowen and possibly Soucek will all be sold to balance the books. Disasi will return to his parent club. And Taty and Wan-Bissaka will be drafting their come-and-get-me pleas as we speak. It leaves a squad built around Kilman, Pablo, a handful of youngsters and anyone else who cannot be profitably unloaded (the return of Alvarez, JWP & Fulkrug perhaps?). What a dismal thought.

Your cut out and keep guide to the grand West Ham everything must go 2026 fire sale is shown below.

What a mess. I never felt more like singing the (claret and) blues. COYI!

Super Callum, Tom’s Fantastic, VAR’s Audacious

Late drama at the London Stadium and Molineux plus VAR controversy made it Saturday 3PM kick-off to remember as West Ham overcome David Moyes’ Everton to boost hopes of survival.

In the end it was an inconclusive set of weekend results as far as the relegation stakes were concerned. With three of the runners carving out victories, it is as you were but with one fewer round of games to play. And no clearer indication of who will claim the final drop spot.

Internet speculation suggests that wins for West Ham and Tottenham have dragged Forest, Leeds (and even Newcastle) back into the frame. But this feels no more than an extravagant talking point to me. Newcastle already have sufficient points (and goal difference) in the bag to keep them up. Leeds enough easy games – including trips to Tottenham and West Ham – to pick up the point or two required. While a Forest side with nine goals in their last two matches are highly unlikely relegation fodder.

What that leaves, of course, is the impending theatrical showdown between ourselves and the long-standing arch-rivals and nemesis from north London, Tottenham Hotspur. Good versus evil. Light versus dark. Right versus wrong. Jam versus clotted cream first on a tea-time scone.

In theory, destiny remains in our own hands. Win all the remaining games or out-point Tottenham and it will be them rather than us with the largest stadium rattling around in the Championship. But relegation battles rarely work out that easily. A slip here, a lucky break there, a bad injury, a Pablo goal, a bout of nerves, under committed opponents, and poor officiating. All are potential unscripted game changers.

As expected, Nuno opted for the same personnel and formation that has served him well since the January transfer window. This meant starting berths once again for the enigmatic pairing of Taty and Pablo. They move in mysterious, unconvincing ways but somehow it get results. No-one quite knows why, how or what purpose they serve other than their presence makes a difference. A little like your appendix or tonsils.

Incredibly, since being robbed blind by incompetent VAR officials in the home fixture with Forest, West Ham have accumulated 22 points from 13 games. Extrapolated to a full season this would equate to 64 points and possible European qualification. Not bad for a team of misfits – even if they are misfits with an exemplary team spirit.

The first half at the London Stadium was as cagey as they come. Perhaps no surprise with two managers who would consider a bouncy castle as the epitome of an extreme sport. A couple of quick Everton breaks which Barry was always going to miss. An enterprising Hammers attack, a teasing Jarrod Bowen cross, but with no Callum Wilson on the pitch to finish it off. That was as good as it got.

The second period started much brighter and with greater intensity from the home side. Within five minutes they had taken the lead. A characteristic high lunge assault on Taty by England’s Number One warranted no more than the award of a corner. Everton’s relief was short-lived, however, as Tomas Soucek rose above everyone else to glance home Bowen’s kick.

I’m generally conflicted by the value Big Tom brings to the team. How his limitations in open play balance out against his aerial contributions in either box, and his overall impeccable attitude. Right now, there is no-one better and the same rationale applies as it does to the inclusion of Taty and Pablo. Don’t fix what isn’t broken. Yet this was to be Tom’s special day. Even more satisfying than the most delicious potato salad as he followed up his opening goal with two superb clearances that looked certain equalisers

For a brief period after the goal it looked as if West Ham would press forward in search of a second goal. But it didn’t last for long. When Moyes made an uncommon early substitution, replacing a defender with a midfielder, the complexion of the game changed immediately. The Hammers dropped deeper and deeper. Nuno had nothing up his sleeve.

Everton sensed their opportunity. They were getting plenty of joy down their left-hand side where KWP struggled with the overload and the crosses rained in. The world and his wife knew an equaliser was on the cards, it was only a matter of time. Nuno eventually turned to his bench but never subscribes to the attack as the best form of defence philosophy. The extent of the game management was to pack the final third and hope for the best. It’s never worked in the past, but you never know your luck!

The tension grew. Tottenham had scored at Molineux. Around the stadium and in front of TV sets, knuckles were cracked, feet tapped, hands wrung, nails bitten, lips chewed, phones checked, teeth ground, and arms folded sternly. And then it happened. An Everton goal and West Ham were back into the bottom three. What a disaster!

Miraculously, the drama didn’t end there. West Ham did what they should have been doing all along and went back onto the front foot. The ball was worked across field to Malick Diouf. An excellent cross to the far post. An intelligent downward header back across goal by Bowen. The ball rolling in slow motion into the path of Callum Wilson. Right player at the right time. 2-1.   

Naturally, it wouldn’t have been a Premier League game without a few quirks and idiosyncrasies of VAR thrown in. In an era where there is an increasing arbitrariness to the decisions made by officials, it more often comes down to precedence and current practice than what is written down in the rule book. That’s why it was such a shock that the Fernandes ‘handball’ although unintentional was not given as a penalty. Yet Everton’s indignance could equally countered by the unpunished Pickford assault on Taty, and the blatant two-handed push by (the already booked) Garner on Axel Disasi. But with offences now only being offences in certain areas of the pitch, and subjective judgements routinely made on acceptable duration of a shirt pull, how long a challenge is deemed to carry on for, or the comparative force of any push, officiating is more lottery than understandable.

And where was the protection for Crysencio Summerville who was systematically fouled by a succession of Everton players throughout the game. Four Toffees finding their names in the referee’s book as a result.  

The whole relegation circus moves on to Brentford next weekend. The Bees have yet to play this weekend, but whatever happens at Old Trafford tonight they will still be in with a chance of European qualification. Everyone knows what to expect from their aerial bombardment and the keeper and defence need to be operating at peak concentration and bravery to keep them at bay. More importantly, Nuno must go there with victory rather than avoiding defeat at the front of his mind. It is an opportunity to put further daylight between us and the enemy who will be travelling to Aston Villa.

What might ultimately carry the Hammers through to safety is the outstanding spirit pulsing through the squad. It might make all the difference over the final few weeks. In the words of honorary cockney, Dick Van Dyke: “No where is there a more ‘appier crew, Than them wot sings, chim chim cher-ee, chim cher-oo.” COYI!

West Ham Struggle To Escape Choppy Relegation Waters As The Baroness Abandons Ship

A topsy turvy week in the West Ham soap opera where the Hammers fail to take advantage of a Crystal Palace side going through the motions while boardroom intrigue comes to a head with the sudden departure of Karen Brady

As the plot of the Premier League season drifts inexorably to the defining battles of its third climactic act, the cast of protagonists remaining in the fight for death or glory gradually trends towards two. At the top, it’s between Manchester City and Arsenal. At the bottom, it is West Ham and Tottenham.

Just one short week ago, we might also have been scrutinising the results of Leeds and Nottingham Forest. But both have hauled themselves clear of the drop, and barring a last-minute calamity, their safety is assured. We should assume the relegation stakes is now a two-horse race. Just like in the movies, the minions, henchmen and associates have each fallen by the wayside to setup a final one-to-one showdown.

On one side, the down at heel, drifter hero. Sculpted from the school of hard knocks; defined by grit, loyalty, chaos and occasional big moments. On the other, the tragic north London prodigal villain. Arrogant, deluded, condescending, promising the earth but repeatedly falling short.

Who will be the last man standing? It’s a question of nerve, spirit, camaraderie, effort and the ability to score goals. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he’s watching us all – with the eye of the striker.

The Hammer’s ongoing lack of cutting edge was to the fore again at Selhurst Park on Monday night. Goals were always going to be at a premium against Crystal Palace. Their games in the Premier League this season have yielded fewer goals scored at both ends (71) than any other club. Their goals against record bettered only by the top two.

But it was a good time to be playing the Eagles. Prepared to go through the motions in the league, the prospect of European silverware on the horizon, assorted injuries that wouldn’t be risked, and a soon-to-be departed manager. A priceless win was by no means out of the question.

Victory would have provided a massive psychological boost for West Ham. Providing extra daylight over Tottenham so that the gap was more than a three-point win. A goal was urgently needed during the Hemmers first half ascendency, but they were unable to find one. It was a stark reminder of the scant resources available to Nuno. Impossible to rely on Taty and Pablo as regular source of goals despite their obvious effort and nuisance value, the setup can only pay dividends if Jarrod Bowen and Crysencio Summerville are on their A-game. Which they weren’t. Summerville still finding his way back from injury; Bowen mysteriously out of sorts. No surprise that the Hammer’s best chance again fell to Dinos Mavropanos – who might have done better, as they say on the TV.

The introduction of Mateta, Sarr and Kamada on the hour mark would ultimately change the complexion of the game. The hosts now on the front foot. Nuno had no such luxury upgrades on his bench, and it became a case of holding out for a point. West Ham did make two late substitutions – Wilson and Kante on for Pablo and Taty – but the game, which offered little in the way of entertainment, fizzled out even further. A fitting game for the I Don’t Like Monday’s graveyard slot.

I doubt there has ever been such a short highlights reel as the one posted by the club on YouTube. No overtime for the media team this week after he video and social media splurge that followed the Wolves game.

Our thoughts now turn to the return of the Moyesiah for Everton’s visit to the London Stadium on Saturday. The Toffees are another of the sides whose games rarely feature a goal fest – a total of 79 for and against. Both West Ham and Everton have each managed just 40 goals in 33 matches this season, although the visitors have a far superior record for goals conceded (39 to 57).

They come to London with an outside chance of European qualification in their sights. One of a cluster of clubs still dreaming of Europa League or Conference football next year. It’s been a good season for the former Hammer’s supremo and illustrates how effective he can be with Alan Irvine beside him in the dugout.

The wind was taken out of the Toffees sails somewhat last weekend when Liverpool grabbed an added time winner in the inaugural Merseyside derby held at the Hill Dickinson Stadium. Even more damaging was a probable season ending injury to defender Jarrad Branthwaite.

The main threat posed by Everton comes in midfield where the Hammers can be easily overrun. Although no Kendall, Ball and Harvey, they have very capable players in Garner, Ndiaye, and Dewsbury Hall. It could all prove too much for West Ham’s pivot of Mathias Fernandes and Tomas Soucek which sees the latter almost exclusively on sentry duty these days.

The other big news story of the week was, of course, the sudden departure of Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge from her role as Vice-chairman of West Ham.

While the news was universally welcomed by Hammers fans across the world and saw spontaneous outbreaks of cockney knees-ups, the timing of the announcement is very odd – with just a few weeks of the season remaining. Perfect breeding conditions for all manner of theories and reports about the future scandalous revelations and changes in the club’s ownership.

The fascination with Brady has always puzzled me. A business career based entirely on her role as David Sullivan’s fluffer able to create a TV persona that presented her as a powerful and successful businesswoman. Riding the slipstream like the Andrew Ridgely of W Ham.   

The statement put out by the club following her departure – signed by Daniel Kretinsky as Joint-chair – struggled to dig up too many notable achievements from her lengthy 15-year association with West Ham. Some guff about the London Stadium deal, shareholder transition and (for some reason) the British record transfer of Declan Rice.

As we now know, while the stadium contract might have been a great deal from a cost saving perspective, it is a millstone around the club’s neck when it comes to revenue generation. A massive own goal in an environment where revenues are increasingly the driver for assembling a strong and competitive squad.

The most plausible explanation for Brady’s exit, is that she finally fell out with Sullivan – probably over the disastrous appointment of Graham Potter. Our thoughts and prayers that he quickly follows her out of the door in the summer. With the B of ‘No More BS’ now out of the picture can the London Stadium generate an even greater buzz this weekend? We live in interesting times. COYI  

West Ham Bulletin: Friday I’m In Love But I Still Don’t Like Mondays

A near perfect weekend of football sees West Ham escape the bottom three at the expense of Tottenham. The tussle to avoid the last relegation place is now looking like a three-horse race. Can West Ham carry recent good form into the remaining games?

The dream of a near perfect weekend of Premier League relegation football was rudely disrupted by Leeds victory at Old Trafford last night. The result provides the Yorkshire club with sufficient headroom to suggest the struggle to avoid 18th place is now a three-horse race between Nottingham Forest, West Ham and Tottenham.

The practice of stringing out the weekend’s fixtures over four days is a feature of modern football that I’ve never come to terms with. I can accept the rationale for multiple weekend kick-off times, but Friday and Monday games for your team leaves the weekend with an empty feeling. As the number of clubs participating in Europe competition has increased, these have become the Cinderella slots whose only purpose is to fulfil broadcast quotas for the less glamorous participants.  

In the past, it was only clubs such as Southend and Colchester who would dream of playing on Friday nights. Hoping to attract casual fans who would rather spend Saturday afternoons watching one of the bigger clubs in the capital. And while Monday once held a certain prestige in the earlier days of limited live televised games, that too has become more of a contractual obligation.

As a vaguely interesting aside, if your memories go back as far as the 1960s you might remember that West Ham would regularly schedule their early season midweek games on a Monday night (kick off 7:30). This would occasionally allow a day or two at the very top of the table courtesy of having played an extra game.

Anyway, even the negatives of the Friday night anomaly can be forgiven and forgotten when your team run out as 4-0 victors. It was not an expected outcome from the evidence of the opening exchanges where the visitors started much sharper and stronger – without necessarily creating too many clear-cut chances. The complexion of the game changed, though, with a perfectly timed Hammers opener on the cusp of half-time. It followed the game’s first corner which although initially cleared was played back in for Dinos Mavropanos to powerfully head home. The neck of the gods had done it again.

The second half performance evoked flashbacks to the swagger of the brief Moyes/ Lingard purple patch of 2021. A team playing on its toes, attacking with pace and imposing themselves on the game. It may have been a long time coming, but Nuno has finally hit upon a way of playing that magnifies the player’s strengths and conceals their shortcomings.

From the tireless running of Taty and Pablo, the liveliness of Bowen and Summerville and the strength and solidity of Disasi and Mavropanos. Where Soucek has been deployed in a simpler role where his slow tempo is not exposed; with Fernandes the reliable anchor and conductor; and Mads encouraged to use his superior distribution skills but without taking unnecessary risks. There are still weaknesses though. The formation allows the midfield to be overrun by greater numbers on occasion, the front players cannot keep up the pressing for a full 90 minutes, and we are one significant injury away from all the improvements falling to pieces. Survival will require both committed performances and a generous slice of good fortune.

Perhaps the most important factor is to ensure Max Kilman never gets anywhere near the pitch. No surprise that he didn’t make the bench on Friday. What to do with him though? Maybe ending up being passed around on loan like a recycled raffle prize for the remainder of his seven-year contract?

The rare convincing victory certainly gave a boost to the West Ham media team who, if my social media algorithm is anything to go by, have been posting daily celebratory posts as if we’d won the Champions League. A consequence of having so little to cheer for so long. Even the ‘Behind The Scenes’ crew managed to see action this weekend.

A further upshot of the weekend results is a first sighting of the old cliché that survival is in our own hands. This a consequence of Tottenham’s defeat at Sunderland leaving them two points adrift of the Hammers and without a league win in 2026. Yet when you are mired in a relegation battle having averaged only a point per game across the season, the idea of ‘being in your own hands’ is somewhat illusory. However, the simple fact is that winning more points in the remaining games than Spurs will keep us up and potentially doom them to the Championship – which would be a shame😉

Forecasting games is notoriously difficult at the tail end of the season. I watched the first hour of Crystal Palace versus Newcastle on Sunday and what a tepid end of season affair that was. Neither would provide an insurmountable obstacle if they offered the same lethargic approach against us. With Glasner leaving Palace and Howe surely on his last life on Tyneside how much will they be up for the games?

On the other hand, both Everton and Brentford are in with a shout of European qualification and unfortunately have more to play for than just mid-table pride. Then there’s Arsenal. Looking odds on for the title a few weeks back they are having a serious wobble. What situation will they be in by the time they face West Ham on May 10, a few days after a probable Champions League semi-final second leg clash?

Ideally, it would be great to go into the final day with nothing at stake. Last day survival bids are not good for either health or sanity. At least, it is highly likely that Leeds will have reached safety well before then.

What might happen over the coming week is pure speculation and with so many variables that it can only lead to madness. As my Scottish grandfather might have said: “If ifs and ands were pots and pans, there’d be no work for tinkers’ hands.” COYI!

West Ham Bulletin: Marathon Cup Exit, Keystone Kilman and the Pablo Paradox

West Ham’s hopes of taking the long and winding extra time needed road to Wembley Stadium came to a disappointing end in Sunday’s penalty shootout showdown.

Put the claret ribbon back in the loft. Cancel the orders for face paint and the inflatable Hammer. Stop worrying about the best route to travel to Wembley Stadium. There’ll no FA Cup glory for West Ham this season. The best chance in years of a showpiece semi – and/ or final – dashed in the penalty shootout lottery at the end of Sunday’s marathon encounter with Leeds United.

So, our name wasn’t on the cup this year despite all the minutes played. As in the previous rounds, it was a game of two halves with some extra bits tacked on the end. Now we can concentrate fully on the league. There were positives to take from the match, and we must dust ourselves down ready for another big game on Friday night. We will take each cliche as it comes.

News stories headlined ‘How to watch West Ham versus Leeds United’ never fail to amuse.  Surely, it’s obvious. Sit yourself down, face towards the pitch or TV screen with your favourite cold beverage or snack of choice to hand. Except that when it comes to watching West Ham, sometimes it’s preferable to look away to avoid undue disappointment.

The first half on Sunday was one of those times. Nuno had opted for a spot of squad rotation – either enforced or discretionary depending on your point of view – and resorted to the 4-2-3-1 formation which has rarely borne fruit in previous outings. Even more worrying was the appearance on the team sheet of £40 million, £100 k per week, seven-year contract, Lopetegui marque signing, Max Kilman. If you had feared the worst, then you weren’t to be disappointed.

In the opening 45 minutes, the Hammers were dreadful, dismayed and disjointed. And although Leeds were energetic and competent rather than outstanding, they were well worth their one goal lead at the break. Freddie Potts and Soungoutou Magassa struggled against the opposition’s constant harrying and were forced into a succession of misplaced passes. Mateus Fernandes is never as influential when deployed in an advanced role. The experiment of Jarrod Bowen on the left was interesting but ultimately ineffective. And Taty was once again isolated up front.

At least Adama looked like he meant business. A series of powerful, snaking runs from the right threatened to cause panic in the Leeds defence. That they eventually came to nothing was not down to his own rush of blood on this occasion. It was regrettable that his team-mates did not think to bring him into the game more as an outlet.

The half time changes finally brought us back to the team Nuno should have started with. Tomas Soucek and Pablo Felipe on for Potts and Magassa. Bowen and Adama swapping wings and Fernandes dropping deeper to direct operations. It created a better balance and there was an obvious uptick in performance.

The Pablo Paradox is difficult to explain. Here is a player who makes minimal impact on the game with the ball. But his very presence, chasing and pressing somehow provides a setup in which others can flourish. The Hammers were a different team after the break.

As the game progressed, the only question was whether West Ham would find the breakthrough they needed to draw level. Kilman though had other ideas. Having got away with one reckless last ditch penalty box tackle in the first half, he opted for a 73rd minute reprise. It was so clearcut that it was a surprise that referee Pawson required the intervention of VAR before awarding it.

The second Leeds goal knocked the stuffing out of the Hammers. With no meaningful goal attempts fir the remainder of normal time, and large swathes of the crowd heading for a quick getaway, it looked like game over. Then all hell broke loose. Bowen’s shot thumped against the post but (for once) bounced kindly for Fernandes to reduce the deficit. Too little too late, perhaps? Only for Axel Disasi to prompt the wildest scenes at the London Stadium by steering home Adama’s cross.

The extra time momentum was with the home side and for a few moments we believed the turnaround was complete as Taty capitalised on a goalkeeping error to flick home. Cue ecstatic celebrations until VAR discovered an offside shoulder infringement in the build-up.

To think that if this had been a VAR free 4th round tie, there may have been no penalty and no disallowed goal. But then referees seemingly delegate more and more of their decisions to VAR whenever it is available.

West Ham finished the game in the ascendency. There were near misses but no more goals. As the minutes ticked by, thoughts strayed to who will actually take our penalties. Only Bowen and Soucek remained from the group who had dispatched the perfect set in the previous round. Was it wise to replace Taty at that stage of the game? To make matters more interesting, rookie keeper Finlay Herrick was called upon to replace the injured Alphonse Areola. No pressure on your senior debut for a player who doesn’t yet have a Wikipedia page. If his ability matches his swagger he will become an excellent keeper.

The shootout began promisingly for the Hammers when Herrick saved Piroe’s opening effort. A score from the reliable Bowen would surely provide us with a psychological advantage. But his poor spot kick was saved also. The next four were all scored.  

As Pablo stepped up for West Ham’s fourth, I’m certain we were all convinced he wouldn’t score. In a Family Fortune’s style survey, 100% would have given the same answer. Even Pablo’s body language agreed. At least he was brave enough to give it a go.

What effect being knocked out the cup – and taking 120 minutes plus to do so – will have on the team is a matter of speculation. Will the team spirit which inspired the astonishing late revival survive intact. Or will those extra minutes take their toll. The hope is that several important players will be fit and ready to return for the Friday night encounter with Wolves. Identified previously as the most winnable of the remaining games it’s now starting to look like a more formidable obstacle against a side who haven’t played for a month. But it is an obstacle which must be overcome if survival is to be a realistic outcome. COYI!