Category: Report

One Nil To The VARsenal: Two Tier Refereeing May Finally Have Relegated West Ham

A spirited Hammer’s performance is to no avail as a zombie strike and the dark arts of Arsenal and VAR strip them of a point in the dying minutes of Sunday’s London Stadium clash

Football was once such a simple game. It was simplicity that defined its beauty and popularity. Sure, the laws of the game have always been a matter of subjective interpretation, but refereeing gaffes were mostly forgotten by the time it took to reach the platform at Upton Park station. Then came the big money, the detailed media scrutiny, the game’s tactical and physical overload, the PGMOL and its cadre of celebrity refs. What a mighty mess it has become.

As a supporter holding varying opinions are part of the game’s appeal. If you think Tomas Soucek is the beating heart of West Ham and I think he is a liability most of the time, it really makes no odds. But when it comes to officiating erratic variation is unacceptable. We need consistency and fairness without fear nor favour. Infringements to treated equally no matter where on the pitch they occur. We shouldn’t need to worry about elapsed time when one player is holding another’s shirt, all shirt pulling should be penalised. If it was, it would soon stop. As would grappling at corners. As would players cheating by diving in the area. Or players getting away with constantly complaining to the referee provided they wave no imaginary cards.

Threats to clamp down on cheating have a long history but other than sending off Manuel Lanzini, nothing has ever come of it. Any coincidence that it is the ‘elite’ clubs who are most enamoured with the game’s dark arts? Do they have a Dark Arts coach?

If a spy had been sent along the Arsenal training ground, I’m certain they would have returned with tales of Arteta holding diving and squealing drills. Everyone knows they do it, yet a supposedly experienced referee in Chris Kavanagh bought the con all afternoon – like a gullible toddler falling for a three-card trick. But such naivety collapsed into insignificance compared to the added time VAR imbroglio that would sour the outcome.

I predicted in last week’s article that Nuno would resort to three centre backs for this game and that is exactly what happened. Jean-Clair Todibo coming in and Pablo dropping to the bench. Aaron Wan-Bissaka was also favoured over Kyle Walker-Peters.

The Hammers started cautiously and showed little enterprise in the opening exchanges. But following a flurry of early scares and scrambles, they settled down to contain Arsenal relatively comfortably. For a team leading the table the Gunners had little invention until Odegaard was introduced. Set pieces being the greatest danger to the West Ham goal. Arteta’s weird decision to react to White’s injury by moving Rice to full back offered the Hammer’s encouragement, and the half ended with a long range Taty header well saved by Raya.

For once, Nuno’s men were quick to shake off their half-time slumbers and managed to stifle what attacking threat the visitors could muster – mainly Saka shooting over the bar. The game’s first major turning point came in the 78th minute when Mateus Fernandes wriggled clear in the six-yard box and rather than aim for the wide-open spaces at the goal’s far corner shot tamely against the keeper’s legs. An xG of 110% if I’ve ever seen one!  

Five minutes later and Arsenal were one up. There is very little to admire when watching Arteta’s Arsenal – unless ruthless, underhand efficiency is your entertainment of choice. And high on the list of unlikeables is Leandro Trossard, a player who would be at home as an extra on the Walking Dead – there must be some zombie genes in there somewhere. True to form though, having spent the entire afternoon griping and bellyaching to all and sundry he pops up with the decisive goal.

But the games true drama was yet to come. Nuno’s last throw of the dice was the belated arrival of supersub Callum Wilson. Immediately, he was presented with a good shooting opportunity, blocked on the line. Then moments later he fired home what should have been a vital equaliser. The stadium erupted. A fiesta of joyous screaming, yelling, shouting, jumping and dancing. It may not have been enough to save the season, but it was just reward for the spirit and attitude demonstrated by the players.

But the cancer of VAR had other ideas. Let’s face it, once the check started we all knew the outcome would be inevitble. Clear and obvious be blowed. This was a decision of expedience. What conclusion would generate the minimum fallout. Darren England took and age, umming and ahhing before evading all responsibility with a hospital pass back to the referee. Kavanagh stood in a trance watching the same clip 17 times before reaching his self-interest conclusion. After review, I have decided which side my bread is buttered and find for the prosecution.

All season, there have been complaints about the grappling and wrestling at corners pioneered by Arsenal. It has been the source of many goals for them, and they may well hold a patent on it. As the corner came in there were bodies flying and colliding everywhere. Rice was manhandling Mavropanos, Trossard had his arms around Pablo, yet Pablo’s coming together with Raya was the only incident deemed worthy of review. Why no penalty check?

We know from experience that if you watch the same clip over and over again, from different angles, and in slow motion, it will start to look dodgy. The reason so many pundits were convinced of Paqueta’s guilt in the Betway betting fiasco.

Again, the inconsistency of VAR was to the fore. A review that took so long to complete could not be classed as clear and obvious. And what of proximate cause? Had Trossard not been grappling Pablo, would his arm have gone anywhere near the advancing keeper?

Pablo must have dreamed of finally making such a decisive impact on a game – but not like this. As an aside, I’ve only recently discovered Pablo is the son of Brazilian footballer, Pena, a former teammate of Nuno at Porto. His signing, a modern-day equivalent of Moyes buying Jordan Hugill from his cash strapped Preston North End mates.

Who cannot see that the micro analysis of VAR has been terrible for fans and the spontaneity of the game? It’s concerning itself with incidents that were never an issue before its introduction. The only beneficiaries are the broadcasters given privileged access to the conversations that take place. Granting them talking points to liven up the underwhelming product that Premier League football often is. One further action interlude alongside scanning for celebrities in the crowd and endless action replays while the on-field action continues.

It quite amazing that the clubs were given the option to abandon VAR in the summer but decided (apart from Wolves) to vote against it.

The Hammer’s plight looks beyond desperate now – although that could change if Leeds do the decent thing and beat Tottenham tonight. As for the title, I would love it, love it, if Arsenal bottled it in the last two games – and then get thrashed in the Champions League final. COYI!

They Think It’s All Over: The Impending West Ham Apocalypse Looks Increasingly Certain

A double whammy of West Ham surrender and Tottenham victory leaves the Hammers on the precipice of relegation. What we see in the abyss is not a pretty sight.

The weekend results couldn’t really have gone any worse. We are left floundering like the hapless guest in the election special studio. The votes have been cast, the exit polls announced, your party has almost certainly lost but you are obliged to put on the bravest possible despite the inevitable outcome. Desperate soundbites about fighting on, giving it our best, still having hope. So many tears I’ve cried, so much pain inside, but it ain’t over ’til it’s over.

Some weeks ago, I had suggested that if West Ham were going to earn survival under their own steam, then the visits to Palace and Brentford would be critical games. Three or more points from those two matches should be the minimum return. The alternative was a reliance that our relegation rivals would perform even worse. Once the Palace game fizzled out into a lacklustre draw, Saturday’s trip to the Gtech Stadium took on even greater importance.

Not unexpectedly, Nuno named an unchanged side for the game. Why not? It had served him well enough in recent weeks even though quantifying its magic ingredient had been impossible to articulate. Had it just been a long run of good luck that had seen us rocket up the form table? In truth, we’d hardly taken any game by the scruff of the neck. And playing two consecutive halves of dominant front foot football in any fixture had proven equally elusive.

The Hammers looked nervy from the off. More mis-controls and misplaced passes than usual before finally settling down to a semblance of normality. An early opportunity for the Bees, an even better one for Pablo, before Brentford capitalised on indecisive defending at the far post to open the scoring.

The set-back prompted West Ham’s best spell of the game. Almost immediately, Taty hit the post, fluffed a good headed opportunity and later struck the post once again. There was a hearty cheer when Dinos headed powerfully home from a Diouf free-kick, but it was not to VAR’s liking. One ear and part of a shoulder were deemed to be offside at the point the lines were drawn. It is ridiculous that VAR looks at anything other than the position of the feet when drawing those offside lines.

There is an argument that with a little luck we could have been leading at the break. But that ignores the Damsgaard miss that followed the comical heading attempt by Hermansen, and the surprisingly weak finish by Thiago when put through on goal.

Any ideas of a storming comeback would be dashed early in the second half. Once again, the Hammers had left their resolve back in the dressing room and when Diouf’s stupid going to ground tackle gifted the Bees a penalty, it was effectively game over – notwithstanding Summerville making it a hattrick of woodwork interventions and the denial of two reasonable penalty shouts by referee Craig Pawson and Eddie (not so) Smart on VAR duty.  

Brentford have a no-nonsense side which has been assembled at minimal cost. It contains no prima-donnas, and every man is competent in the basics of the game – run, control and pass. The same cannot be said for our sorry mob. The Bees completed the misery by adding a third indicating that Nuno’s emperor’s new clothes formation had been well and truly found out. The limitations of players who are either too slow, tactically naïve or possess below par technical skills cannot punch above their weight forever. Once the weaknesses have been identified, exploiting them is relatively straightforward for any astute opposition coach.

Most will be familiar with Einsteins definition of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Well, welcome to Nuno’s theory of game management. His substitutions were once again baffling in their timing and personnel – topped off by subjecting Pablo to a full 90 minutes’ worth of humiliation.

Week by week, I’ve been willing Pablo to cast off the no-goals-scored burden from his shoulders to reveal the true footballer underneath. But now I’m wondering whether he has ever played the game before. It would be no surprise to learn he is another long-lost cousin of George Weah. Could it be the ridiculous beard that’s slowing him down?

That early miss on Saturday summed him up perfectly. No pace, cumbersome, poor control and completely devoid of confidence.

I’m fully resigned to relegation now. It would be a huge shock if it doesn’t happen. The likelihood of further twists and turns in the relegation battle are as improbable as witnessing twists and turns by our players on the pitch. For them, sequences of sideways and backwards passing remain de rigueur.

It will be title-chasing Arsenal up next. The Hammers record against the Gunners is very poor. Four wins from the last 27 league games, with only one of those victories at home – thanks to Declan Rice’s only goal of the game in January 2019. It’s guaranteed that Nuno will go three at the back for this one and pin all his hopes on a miracle.

Should the inevitable happen, it will be my sixth West Ham relegation experience. The current state of the club suggests a far longer stint in the doldrums than we have seen before. A squad stripped of its remaining quality rattling around in the half-empty stadium bowl is not an appealing thought. What lies beneath is frightening.

The club are quick to put out Behind The Scenes videos on the rare occasion of a victory. A true behind the scenes look at West Ham would reveal little is going on behind the curtain. It’s all a façade. A club with no strategy, with sub-standard infrastructure and an amateurish approach to player recruitment. We can only look in awe at how well run clubs such as Bournemouth, Brentford, and Brighton are as they strive for European football on limited resources.

How will it be possible for West Ham to handle the massive turnover in personnel that relegation would trigger while avoiding the perils of a points deductions that non-compliance with the Championship’s PSR rules would bring. Leicester City, here we come!

As I see it, Mavropanos, Todibo, Diouf, Fernandes, Summerville, Bowen and possibly Soucek will all be sold to balance the books. Disasi will return to his parent club. And Taty and Wan-Bissaka will be drafting their come-and-get-me pleas as we speak. It leaves a squad built around Kilman, Pablo, a handful of youngsters and anyone else who cannot be profitably unloaded (the return of Alvarez, JWP & Fulkrug perhaps?). What a dismal thought.

Your cut out and keep guide to the grand West Ham everything must go 2026 fire sale is shown below.

What a mess. I never felt more like singing the (claret and) blues. COYI!

Super Callum, Tom’s Fantastic, VAR’s Audacious

Late drama at the London Stadium and Molineux plus VAR controversy made it Saturday 3PM kick-off to remember as West Ham overcome David Moyes’ Everton to boost hopes of survival.

In the end it was an inconclusive set of weekend results as far as the relegation stakes were concerned. With three of the runners carving out victories, it is as you were but with one fewer round of games to play. And no clearer indication of who will claim the final drop spot.

Internet speculation suggests that wins for West Ham and Tottenham have dragged Forest, Leeds (and even Newcastle) back into the frame. But this feels no more than an extravagant talking point to me. Newcastle already have sufficient points (and goal difference) in the bag to keep them up. Leeds enough easy games – including trips to Tottenham and West Ham – to pick up the point or two required. While a Forest side with nine goals in their last two matches are highly unlikely relegation fodder.

What that leaves, of course, is the impending theatrical showdown between ourselves and the long-standing arch-rivals and nemesis from north London, Tottenham Hotspur. Good versus evil. Light versus dark. Right versus wrong. Jam versus clotted cream first on a tea-time scone.

In theory, destiny remains in our own hands. Win all the remaining games or out-point Tottenham and it will be them rather than us with the largest stadium rattling around in the Championship. But relegation battles rarely work out that easily. A slip here, a lucky break there, a bad injury, a Pablo goal, a bout of nerves, under committed opponents, and poor officiating. All are potential unscripted game changers.

As expected, Nuno opted for the same personnel and formation that has served him well since the January transfer window. This meant starting berths once again for the enigmatic pairing of Taty and Pablo. They move in mysterious, unconvincing ways but somehow it get results. No-one quite knows why, how or what purpose they serve other than their presence makes a difference. A little like your appendix or tonsils.

Incredibly, since being robbed blind by incompetent VAR officials in the home fixture with Forest, West Ham have accumulated 22 points from 13 games. Extrapolated to a full season this would equate to 64 points and possible European qualification. Not bad for a team of misfits – even if they are misfits with an exemplary team spirit.

The first half at the London Stadium was as cagey as they come. Perhaps no surprise with two managers who would consider a bouncy castle as the epitome of an extreme sport. A couple of quick Everton breaks which Barry was always going to miss. An enterprising Hammers attack, a teasing Jarrod Bowen cross, but with no Callum Wilson on the pitch to finish it off. That was as good as it got.

The second period started much brighter and with greater intensity from the home side. Within five minutes they had taken the lead. A characteristic high lunge assault on Taty by England’s Number One warranted no more than the award of a corner. Everton’s relief was short-lived, however, as Tomas Soucek rose above everyone else to glance home Bowen’s kick.

I’m generally conflicted by the value Big Tom brings to the team. How his limitations in open play balance out against his aerial contributions in either box, and his overall impeccable attitude. Right now, there is no-one better and the same rationale applies as it does to the inclusion of Taty and Pablo. Don’t fix what isn’t broken. Yet this was to be Tom’s special day. Even more satisfying than the most delicious potato salad as he followed up his opening goal with two superb clearances that looked certain equalisers

For a brief period after the goal it looked as if West Ham would press forward in search of a second goal. But it didn’t last for long. When Moyes made an uncommon early substitution, replacing a defender with a midfielder, the complexion of the game changed immediately. The Hammers dropped deeper and deeper. Nuno had nothing up his sleeve.

Everton sensed their opportunity. They were getting plenty of joy down their left-hand side where KWP struggled with the overload and the crosses rained in. The world and his wife knew an equaliser was on the cards, it was only a matter of time. Nuno eventually turned to his bench but never subscribes to the attack as the best form of defence philosophy. The extent of the game management was to pack the final third and hope for the best. It’s never worked in the past, but you never know your luck!

The tension grew. Tottenham had scored at Molineux. Around the stadium and in front of TV sets, knuckles were cracked, feet tapped, hands wrung, nails bitten, lips chewed, phones checked, teeth ground, and arms folded sternly. And then it happened. An Everton goal and West Ham were back into the bottom three. What a disaster!

Miraculously, the drama didn’t end there. West Ham did what they should have been doing all along and went back onto the front foot. The ball was worked across field to Malick Diouf. An excellent cross to the far post. An intelligent downward header back across goal by Bowen. The ball rolling in slow motion into the path of Callum Wilson. Right player at the right time. 2-1.   

Naturally, it wouldn’t have been a Premier League game without a few quirks and idiosyncrasies of VAR thrown in. In an era where there is an increasing arbitrariness to the decisions made by officials, it more often comes down to precedence and current practice than what is written down in the rule book. That’s why it was such a shock that the Fernandes ‘handball’ although unintentional was not given as a penalty. Yet Everton’s indignance could equally countered by the unpunished Pickford assault on Taty, and the blatant two-handed push by (the already booked) Garner on Axel Disasi. But with offences now only being offences in certain areas of the pitch, and subjective judgements routinely made on acceptable duration of a shirt pull, how long a challenge is deemed to carry on for, or the comparative force of any push, officiating is more lottery than understandable.

And where was the protection for Crysencio Summerville who was systematically fouled by a succession of Everton players throughout the game. Four Toffees finding their names in the referee’s book as a result.  

The whole relegation circus moves on to Brentford next weekend. The Bees have yet to play this weekend, but whatever happens at Old Trafford tonight they will still be in with a chance of European qualification. Everyone knows what to expect from their aerial bombardment and the keeper and defence need to be operating at peak concentration and bravery to keep them at bay. More importantly, Nuno must go there with victory rather than avoiding defeat at the front of his mind. It is an opportunity to put further daylight between us and the enemy who will be travelling to Aston Villa.

What might ultimately carry the Hammers through to safety is the outstanding spirit pulsing through the squad. It might make all the difference over the final few weeks. In the words of honorary cockney, Dick Van Dyke: “No where is there a more ‘appier crew, Than them wot sings, chim chim cher-ee, chim cher-oo.” COYI!

West Ham Struggle To Escape Choppy Relegation Waters As The Baroness Abandons Ship

A topsy turvy week in the West Ham soap opera where the Hammers fail to take advantage of a Crystal Palace side going through the motions while boardroom intrigue comes to a head with the sudden departure of Karen Brady

As the plot of the Premier League season drifts inexorably to the defining battles of its third climactic act, the cast of protagonists remaining in the fight for death or glory gradually trends towards two. At the top, it’s between Manchester City and Arsenal. At the bottom, it is West Ham and Tottenham.

Just one short week ago, we might also have been scrutinising the results of Leeds and Nottingham Forest. But both have hauled themselves clear of the drop, and barring a last-minute calamity, their safety is assured. We should assume the relegation stakes is now a two-horse race. Just like in the movies, the minions, henchmen and associates have each fallen by the wayside to setup a final one-to-one showdown.

On one side, the down at heel, drifter hero. Sculpted from the school of hard knocks; defined by grit, loyalty, chaos and occasional big moments. On the other, the tragic north London prodigal villain. Arrogant, deluded, condescending, promising the earth but repeatedly falling short.

Who will be the last man standing? It’s a question of nerve, spirit, camaraderie, effort and the ability to score goals. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he’s watching us all – with the eye of the striker.

The Hammer’s ongoing lack of cutting edge was to the fore again at Selhurst Park on Monday night. Goals were always going to be at a premium against Crystal Palace. Their games in the Premier League this season have yielded fewer goals scored at both ends (71) than any other club. Their goals against record bettered only by the top two.

But it was a good time to be playing the Eagles. Prepared to go through the motions in the league, the prospect of European silverware on the horizon, assorted injuries that wouldn’t be risked, and a soon-to-be departed manager. A priceless win was by no means out of the question.

Victory would have provided a massive psychological boost for West Ham. Providing extra daylight over Tottenham so that the gap was more than a three-point win. A goal was urgently needed during the Hemmers first half ascendency, but they were unable to find one. It was a stark reminder of the scant resources available to Nuno. Impossible to rely on Taty and Pablo as regular source of goals despite their obvious effort and nuisance value, the setup can only pay dividends if Jarrod Bowen and Crysencio Summerville are on their A-game. Which they weren’t. Summerville still finding his way back from injury; Bowen mysteriously out of sorts. No surprise that the Hammer’s best chance again fell to Dinos Mavropanos – who might have done better, as they say on the TV.

The introduction of Mateta, Sarr and Kamada on the hour mark would ultimately change the complexion of the game. The hosts now on the front foot. Nuno had no such luxury upgrades on his bench, and it became a case of holding out for a point. West Ham did make two late substitutions – Wilson and Kante on for Pablo and Taty – but the game, which offered little in the way of entertainment, fizzled out even further. A fitting game for the I Don’t Like Monday’s graveyard slot.

I doubt there has ever been such a short highlights reel as the one posted by the club on YouTube. No overtime for the media team this week after he video and social media splurge that followed the Wolves game.

Our thoughts now turn to the return of the Moyesiah for Everton’s visit to the London Stadium on Saturday. The Toffees are another of the sides whose games rarely feature a goal fest – a total of 79 for and against. Both West Ham and Everton have each managed just 40 goals in 33 matches this season, although the visitors have a far superior record for goals conceded (39 to 57).

They come to London with an outside chance of European qualification in their sights. One of a cluster of clubs still dreaming of Europa League or Conference football next year. It’s been a good season for the former Hammer’s supremo and illustrates how effective he can be with Alan Irvine beside him in the dugout.

The wind was taken out of the Toffees sails somewhat last weekend when Liverpool grabbed an added time winner in the inaugural Merseyside derby held at the Hill Dickinson Stadium. Even more damaging was a probable season ending injury to defender Jarrad Branthwaite.

The main threat posed by Everton comes in midfield where the Hammers can be easily overrun. Although no Kendall, Ball and Harvey, they have very capable players in Garner, Ndiaye, and Dewsbury Hall. It could all prove too much for West Ham’s pivot of Mathias Fernandes and Tomas Soucek which sees the latter almost exclusively on sentry duty these days.

The other big news story of the week was, of course, the sudden departure of Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge from her role as Vice-chairman of West Ham.

While the news was universally welcomed by Hammers fans across the world and saw spontaneous outbreaks of cockney knees-ups, the timing of the announcement is very odd – with just a few weeks of the season remaining. Perfect breeding conditions for all manner of theories and reports about the future scandalous revelations and changes in the club’s ownership.

The fascination with Brady has always puzzled me. A business career based entirely on her role as David Sullivan’s fluffer able to create a TV persona that presented her as a powerful and successful businesswoman. Riding the slipstream like the Andrew Ridgely of W Ham.   

The statement put out by the club following her departure – signed by Daniel Kretinsky as Joint-chair – struggled to dig up too many notable achievements from her lengthy 15-year association with West Ham. Some guff about the London Stadium deal, shareholder transition and (for some reason) the British record transfer of Declan Rice.

As we now know, while the stadium contract might have been a great deal from a cost saving perspective, it is a millstone around the club’s neck when it comes to revenue generation. A massive own goal in an environment where revenues are increasingly the driver for assembling a strong and competitive squad.

The most plausible explanation for Brady’s exit, is that she finally fell out with Sullivan – probably over the disastrous appointment of Graham Potter. Our thoughts and prayers that he quickly follows her out of the door in the summer. With the B of ‘No More BS’ now out of the picture can the London Stadium generate an even greater buzz this weekend? We live in interesting times. COYI  

West Ham Bulletin: Friday I’m In Love But I Still Don’t Like Mondays

A near perfect weekend of football sees West Ham escape the bottom three at the expense of Tottenham. The tussle to avoid the last relegation place is now looking like a three-horse race. Can West Ham carry recent good form into the remaining games?

The dream of a near perfect weekend of Premier League relegation football was rudely disrupted by Leeds victory at Old Trafford last night. The result provides the Yorkshire club with sufficient headroom to suggest the struggle to avoid 18th place is now a three-horse race between Nottingham Forest, West Ham and Tottenham.

The practice of stringing out the weekend’s fixtures over four days is a feature of modern football that I’ve never come to terms with. I can accept the rationale for multiple weekend kick-off times, but Friday and Monday games for your team leaves the weekend with an empty feeling. As the number of clubs participating in Europe competition has increased, these have become the Cinderella slots whose only purpose is to fulfil broadcast quotas for the less glamorous participants.  

In the past, it was only clubs such as Southend and Colchester who would dream of playing on Friday nights. Hoping to attract casual fans who would rather spend Saturday afternoons watching one of the bigger clubs in the capital. And while Monday once held a certain prestige in the earlier days of limited live televised games, that too has become more of a contractual obligation.

As a vaguely interesting aside, if your memories go back as far as the 1960s you might remember that West Ham would regularly schedule their early season midweek games on a Monday night (kick off 7:30). This would occasionally allow a day or two at the very top of the table courtesy of having played an extra game.

Anyway, even the negatives of the Friday night anomaly can be forgiven and forgotten when your team run out as 4-0 victors. It was not an expected outcome from the evidence of the opening exchanges where the visitors started much sharper and stronger – without necessarily creating too many clear-cut chances. The complexion of the game changed, though, with a perfectly timed Hammers opener on the cusp of half-time. It followed the game’s first corner which although initially cleared was played back in for Dinos Mavropanos to powerfully head home. The neck of the gods had done it again.

The second half performance evoked flashbacks to the swagger of the brief Moyes/ Lingard purple patch of 2021. A team playing on its toes, attacking with pace and imposing themselves on the game. It may have been a long time coming, but Nuno has finally hit upon a way of playing that magnifies the player’s strengths and conceals their shortcomings.

From the tireless running of Taty and Pablo, the liveliness of Bowen and Summerville and the strength and solidity of Disasi and Mavropanos. Where Soucek has been deployed in a simpler role where his slow tempo is not exposed; with Fernandes the reliable anchor and conductor; and Mads encouraged to use his superior distribution skills but without taking unnecessary risks. There are still weaknesses though. The formation allows the midfield to be overrun by greater numbers on occasion, the front players cannot keep up the pressing for a full 90 minutes, and we are one significant injury away from all the improvements falling to pieces. Survival will require both committed performances and a generous slice of good fortune.

Perhaps the most important factor is to ensure Max Kilman never gets anywhere near the pitch. No surprise that he didn’t make the bench on Friday. What to do with him though? Maybe ending up being passed around on loan like a recycled raffle prize for the remainder of his seven-year contract?

The rare convincing victory certainly gave a boost to the West Ham media team who, if my social media algorithm is anything to go by, have been posting daily celebratory posts as if we’d won the Champions League. A consequence of having so little to cheer for so long. Even the ‘Behind The Scenes’ crew managed to see action this weekend.

A further upshot of the weekend results is a first sighting of the old cliché that survival is in our own hands. This a consequence of Tottenham’s defeat at Sunderland leaving them two points adrift of the Hammers and without a league win in 2026. Yet when you are mired in a relegation battle having averaged only a point per game across the season, the idea of ‘being in your own hands’ is somewhat illusory. However, the simple fact is that winning more points in the remaining games than Spurs will keep us up and potentially doom them to the Championship – which would be a shame😉

Forecasting games is notoriously difficult at the tail end of the season. I watched the first hour of Crystal Palace versus Newcastle on Sunday and what a tepid end of season affair that was. Neither would provide an insurmountable obstacle if they offered the same lethargic approach against us. With Glasner leaving Palace and Howe surely on his last life on Tyneside how much will they be up for the games?

On the other hand, both Everton and Brentford are in with a shout of European qualification and unfortunately have more to play for than just mid-table pride. Then there’s Arsenal. Looking odds on for the title a few weeks back they are having a serious wobble. What situation will they be in by the time they face West Ham on May 10, a few days after a probable Champions League semi-final second leg clash?

Ideally, it would be great to go into the final day with nothing at stake. Last day survival bids are not good for either health or sanity. At least, it is highly likely that Leeds will have reached safety well before then.

What might happen over the coming week is pure speculation and with so many variables that it can only lead to madness. As my Scottish grandfather might have said: “If ifs and ands were pots and pans, there’d be no work for tinkers’ hands.” COYI!

West Ham Bulletin: Marathon Cup Exit, Keystone Kilman and the Pablo Paradox

West Ham’s hopes of taking the long and winding extra time needed road to Wembley Stadium came to a disappointing end in Sunday’s penalty shootout showdown.

Put the claret ribbon back in the loft. Cancel the orders for face paint and the inflatable Hammer. Stop worrying about the best route to travel to Wembley Stadium. There’ll no FA Cup glory for West Ham this season. The best chance in years of a showpiece semi – and/ or final – dashed in the penalty shootout lottery at the end of Sunday’s marathon encounter with Leeds United.

So, our name wasn’t on the cup this year despite all the minutes played. As in the previous rounds, it was a game of two halves with some extra bits tacked on the end. Now we can concentrate fully on the league. There were positives to take from the match, and we must dust ourselves down ready for another big game on Friday night. We will take each cliche as it comes.

News stories headlined ‘How to watch West Ham versus Leeds United’ never fail to amuse.  Surely, it’s obvious. Sit yourself down, face towards the pitch or TV screen with your favourite cold beverage or snack of choice to hand. Except that when it comes to watching West Ham, sometimes it’s preferable to look away to avoid undue disappointment.

The first half on Sunday was one of those times. Nuno had opted for a spot of squad rotation – either enforced or discretionary depending on your point of view – and resorted to the 4-2-3-1 formation which has rarely borne fruit in previous outings. Even more worrying was the appearance on the team sheet of £40 million, £100 k per week, seven-year contract, Lopetegui marque signing, Max Kilman. If you had feared the worst, then you weren’t to be disappointed.

In the opening 45 minutes, the Hammers were dreadful, dismayed and disjointed. And although Leeds were energetic and competent rather than outstanding, they were well worth their one goal lead at the break. Freddie Potts and Soungoutou Magassa struggled against the opposition’s constant harrying and were forced into a succession of misplaced passes. Mateus Fernandes is never as influential when deployed in an advanced role. The experiment of Jarrod Bowen on the left was interesting but ultimately ineffective. And Taty was once again isolated up front.

At least Adama looked like he meant business. A series of powerful, snaking runs from the right threatened to cause panic in the Leeds defence. That they eventually came to nothing was not down to his own rush of blood on this occasion. It was regrettable that his team-mates did not think to bring him into the game more as an outlet.

The half time changes finally brought us back to the team Nuno should have started with. Tomas Soucek and Pablo Felipe on for Potts and Magassa. Bowen and Adama swapping wings and Fernandes dropping deeper to direct operations. It created a better balance and there was an obvious uptick in performance.

The Pablo Paradox is difficult to explain. Here is a player who makes minimal impact on the game with the ball. But his very presence, chasing and pressing somehow provides a setup in which others can flourish. The Hammers were a different team after the break.

As the game progressed, the only question was whether West Ham would find the breakthrough they needed to draw level. Kilman though had other ideas. Having got away with one reckless last ditch penalty box tackle in the first half, he opted for a 73rd minute reprise. It was so clearcut that it was a surprise that referee Pawson required the intervention of VAR before awarding it.

The second Leeds goal knocked the stuffing out of the Hammers. With no meaningful goal attempts fir the remainder of normal time, and large swathes of the crowd heading for a quick getaway, it looked like game over. Then all hell broke loose. Bowen’s shot thumped against the post but (for once) bounced kindly for Fernandes to reduce the deficit. Too little too late, perhaps? Only for Axel Disasi to prompt the wildest scenes at the London Stadium by steering home Adama’s cross.

The extra time momentum was with the home side and for a few moments we believed the turnaround was complete as Taty capitalised on a goalkeeping error to flick home. Cue ecstatic celebrations until VAR discovered an offside shoulder infringement in the build-up.

To think that if this had been a VAR free 4th round tie, there may have been no penalty and no disallowed goal. But then referees seemingly delegate more and more of their decisions to VAR whenever it is available.

West Ham finished the game in the ascendency. There were near misses but no more goals. As the minutes ticked by, thoughts strayed to who will actually take our penalties. Only Bowen and Soucek remained from the group who had dispatched the perfect set in the previous round. Was it wise to replace Taty at that stage of the game? To make matters more interesting, rookie keeper Finlay Herrick was called upon to replace the injured Alphonse Areola. No pressure on your senior debut for a player who doesn’t yet have a Wikipedia page. If his ability matches his swagger he will become an excellent keeper.

The shootout began promisingly for the Hammers when Herrick saved Piroe’s opening effort. A score from the reliable Bowen would surely provide us with a psychological advantage. But his poor spot kick was saved also. The next four were all scored.  

As Pablo stepped up for West Ham’s fourth, I’m certain we were all convinced he wouldn’t score. In a Family Fortune’s style survey, 100% would have given the same answer. Even Pablo’s body language agreed. At least he was brave enough to give it a go.

What effect being knocked out the cup – and taking 120 minutes plus to do so – will have on the team is a matter of speculation. Will the team spirit which inspired the astonishing late revival survive intact. Or will those extra minutes take their toll. The hope is that several important players will be fit and ready to return for the Friday night encounter with Wolves. Identified previously as the most winnable of the remaining games it’s now starting to look like a more formidable obstacle against a side who haven’t played for a month. But it is an obstacle which must be overcome if survival is to be a realistic outcome. COYI!

The Fall and Rise of Nuno’s West Ham: A Path to Safety Or Too Little Too Late

The last two months has seen an amazing turn around in spirit and fortunes at West Ham. Will that momentum be enough to keep their heads above the relegation line?

Do you remember the coin pusher machines that were a common feature in seaside amusement arcades? Where no matter how many pennies you fed in, the moving tray refused to push the huge pile of cash over the edge and into the collection trough. Well, this season’s relegation battle is starting to take on a similar appearance.

This time last year, it was all over bar the shouting. Ipswich and Leicester were 12 points from safety and Southampton a further eight points behind them. In the final table, 26 points would have been sufficient to survive. This season, the pieces are far more reluctant to fall.

The weekend’s results were as inconclusive as it was possible to get. Leeds, Tottenham, Nottingham Forest and ourselves each picking up a single point. Forest will be the most disappointed having dropped valuable points at home to Fulham. A point apiece for West Ham and Tottenham, however, probably exceeded expectations. But then, predicting the outcome of games as the season draws to a close and attention is focused elsewhere always becomes increasingly troublesome.

For the briefest of overnight moment, the Hammers managed to climb out of the bottom three for the first time since 30 November. While there’s no doubt the situation remains on a knife edge, it is West Ham who are the side with moment. Another great escape feels possible but, as they say, “there’s many a slip ‘twixt cup and lip”

When West Ham lost at home to Nottingham Forest on 6 January, it was their tenth consecutive game without a win. The Guardian match report opened as follows:

“West Ham are drifting towards the most gutless of relegations. The London Stadium was half empty on another dismal night, encapsulating the apathy gripping this miserable club, and it is hard to see a way out for Nuno Espirito Santo’s accident prone side after a combination of misfortune and dismal defending left them seven points below Nottingham Forest in 17th place.”

As well as being seven points behind Forest, they were eight behind Leeds and 13 behind Tottenham. Those gaps are now zero, three and one point respectively. The last six games table illustrates West Ham’s current momentum advantage. It is a period where the three rivals have won just one game between them – ironically Leeds victory over Nottingham Forest.

After the Forest defeat, many of us had already resigned themselves to relegation even if we didn’t say it out loud. Now, making the drop from the current resurgent position would be doubly disappointing. So, what has changed?  How did we progress from gutless performances and dismal defending to the fighting spirit and dogged resilience that was on show against Manchester City?

The answer lies in a combination of factors. The arrival of Paco Jemez, an adventurous foil to Nuno’s caution. The signings of Taty and Pablo allowing higher pressing and creating space for Jarrod Bowen and Crysencio Summerville to operate in. The introduction of Alex Disasi, a formidable presence in the centre of defence that has brought the best out of Dinos Mavropanos and Jean-Clair Todibo. Indeed, a defence that was once Keystone Cops and is now operating with all the competence and precision of a Formula 1 pit crew is one of the biggest turnarounds in my personal football memory.

The clincher, though, has been the ability to take the field without Lucas Paqueta and Max Kilman in the side. For different reasons each was detrimental to the cohesion, unity and team spirit we now see on the pitch.

The bottom line is a system that suits the players. One that is aligned with capabilities, that the players can understand, and which has bred belief and confidence. The antithesis of Potter’s ‘here’s how I want to play regardless of whether you can do it’.

Looking back, it is unfortunate that it took so long to get here. The slow recovery under Nuno could still be our undoing if we cannot outrun our opponents as the season draws to a close. In that sense, the improvement mirrors the Great Escape season of 2006/7 where Alan Curbishley only managed six points from his opening 12 games in charge – including a first day victory.

I am already starting to experience pre-match tension at the thought of having to win on the final day to preserve our Premier League status. I’m really hoping it doesn’t come to that.

As Richard pointed out in his latest Supercomputer article, the Manchester City fixture was something of a free hit in the run-in. They are the one team we rarely get anything from even in the best of times. So, to come away with a point was exceptional despite the ‘needs must’ pragmatic approach to the game. A 100% goals to shots ratio is a rare occurrence indeed.

It was a tremendous effort from the Hammers and further endorsement of the spirit that now exists within the team. I find it intensely irritating when the click bait sites feel obliged to hand out a 3/10 rating to whoever they claim ‘stank the place out’ this weekend just to justify a headline. These are not fan sites!

As much as it was a team performance, Mavropanos and Todibo were both superb at the back with excellent support from Disasi, Diouf and Hermansen in goal. It is a solid foundation for the remaining eight games and the FA Cup adventure to come.

As far as Manchester City are concerned, they are well below the standards they have set for themselves in previous seasons. They are not yet out of the title race – with a game in hand and a home fixture with Arsenal to come – but the current side lacks the charisma it once had in the shape of Kompany, Toure, De Bruyne, (David) Silva and Aguero.

It’s possible that we are seeing the end of days for Pep Guardiola as City manager. I would love to see him prove his chops outside a big two club in any league. Just to see how good he really is without boundless funds to support him.

Next stop for West Ham is Villa Park next Sunday. The Villains have experienced a massive injury inspired slump over recent weeks and have a midweek Europa League tie in midweek to overcome. It might not be as formidable a test as it once appeared. If Summerville makes a return from injury, I could even be quietly confident. COYI!

West Ham Treble Dream: FA Cup Success, Premier League Survival and Tottenham Relegation

Happy Hammer Talk. You got to have a dream, if you don’t have a dream. how you gonna have a dream come true?

I didn’t get to watch Monday evening’s cup match live and so ended up following the penalty shootout on the LiveScore phone app. It brought back memories of waiting for Ceefax to refresh. The text version delivered the same result but without the beauty of witnessing five expertly taken spot kicks – and the stupidity of Ouattara’s Panenka.

Pre-match speculation centred on how the two managers would approach the game. With the Hammers mired in a relegation battle and Brentford with an outside chance of European qualification, would it be another contest between two makeshift second string teams? As it turned out, both managers (to their credit) named near full-strength sides. Giving the mother of all cup competitions the respect its rich and glorious history deserves.

I’m at a loss to understand why Fulham and Sunderland had elected to rest key players for their ties over the weekend. Appropriately, both felt the wrath of the football gods – ejected from the competition to concentrate on securing tenth place in the league.

When West Ham and Brentford took the field, they already knew that a home tie against Leeds awaited the victors in the sixth round. It was yet more evidence of TV’s grip on football when schedules are deemed more important than traditions.

The game itself made for a lively hard fought cup tie. The Hammers should really have wrapped the game up in normal time but for the third round in succession had to endure an energy sapping period of extra time to reach a conclusion. Then came the penalties. I’ve never been a fan of settling games by penalties but there’s no denying they are dramatic. The tension wasn’t obvious on my phone when Dinos Mavropanos stepped up to take the deciding kick, and I can imagine how nervous it was in the ground. And what a strike it was to win the game. From Greek Tragedy to Greek God in 12 yards.

West Ham had made it through to the quarter finals for the first time in ten years, and only the second time since the Liverpool final of 2006 which we don’t talk about– a far less happy penalty shootout experience. Avoiding the ‘big’ teams in the draw means progression to the semis is a distinct possibility although Leeds will be no pushover. Beyond that, a good following wind and the jeopardy of two one-off games are all that remain.

If you are looking for omens from previous FA Cup wins then you will be delighted to know that eliminating London opposition has been the consistent feature. It was Charlton and Orient in 1963/4, QPR, Arsenal and Fulham in 1974/5 and Orient and Arsenal in 1979/80. The minimum requirement for a 2025/6 win has already been met (QPR and Brentford), setting things up nicely for a final victory against Chelsea or Arsenal.

The mistakes of 1922/3 and 2005/6 were in not playing any London teams at all on the road to Wembley/ Cardiff.

For all the heady excitement of cup football it is a return to the harsh realities of Premier League survival at the weekend. With Wolves and Burnley effectively out of the picture, the final relegation place is almost certainly between West Ham, Nottingham Forest, Tottenham and Leeds. Nine games to save their respective skins.

The good news for West Ham is that they are the form team of the four as the following table shows.

If the form of the last six and/ or ten games was extended over the remaining games, then West Ham would top the mini league on 40/ 41 points. Tottenham would be relegated on 31/ 32 points. Unfortunately, there are sure to be hiccups along the way to prevent this ideal outcome playing out.

I’ve seen lots of online debate about who has the hardest/ easiest run-in, but it’s fairly inconclusive in my opinion. Especially where results become more unpredictable as the season draws to a close and players have one eye on the beach, glamourous finals or World Cup call-ups. Those in the boardroom might wring their hands over the incremental rewards of each rung of the Premier League table. But I doubt it’s much of a motivating factor for players, unless European qualification comes along with it.

The less good news for the Hammers is that the two games before the international break are against Manchester City and Aston Villa. It is over 10 years since we last beat the Abu Dhabi outfit. A run that includes17 defeats and just three draws. The chink of light is maybe they are not as formidable as they once were, and that the game is sandwiched the two legs of their annual Champions League encounter with Real Madrid. A defeat tonight in Madrid followed by an air traffic controller’s might tilt the scales a little in our favour.

The Villa game might also offer hope if they continue to be without the influential midfield presence of McGinn, Tielemans and Kamara.

It is important that the Hammers keep a degree of momentum and two or three points from those two games would be awesome (but unexpected). They are games which do not feature high on my list of ‘winnables’ but there is a psychological need to keep the gap manageable.

It was great to see the return of Pablo on Monday night. Although he has yet to bother the scorer, his presence does appear to have made a clear difference if results are anything to go by. If we mark the QPR cup game as the start of the West Ham recovery, then they have won an impressive seven from 11 in all competitions since.

The less encouraging injury news concerns Crysencio Summerville who has very much been at the centre of the recent uptick in performances and results. There’s a lot of internet noise about the severity of his injury and so everything will be kept crossed for a speedy return. The last time he went off injured, he wasn’t seen again for seven months. Get well soon. COYI!           

The Return Of The Set Piece Chumps And West Ham’s Financial Oblivion

Woe, woe and thrice woe for West Ham as their set piece vulnerability returns with a vengeance in heavy loss at Liverpool.

History has a way of repeating itself at West Ham.

When Graham Potter replaced Julien Lopetegui, there was zero overall improvement in the team’s results. But he did manage to plug the gaping holes in what had been a disastrously leaky defence. In Potter speak: “we were competitive in every game despite eventually losing.”

This newfound defensive resilience however did not survive the summer break as the Hammers conceded goals left, right, and centre at the start of the campaign. And were especially vulnerable from set pieces. Once again, the arrival of a new manager – this time in the shape of Nuno Espirito Santo – initially did little to impact the club’s overall trajectory. Except, that defending from corners and free kicks did significantly improve. Until Saturday that is.

Premier League football is rapidly becoming defined by either breakaway goals or set piece shenanigans. Facilitated by the expected level of ineffectual and inconsistent refereeing, every corner kick promises to be a messy tangle of pushing, shoving, bundling, holding, blocking and shirt tugging. What an indictment it is of the beautiful game that scrambled goals from corners are the principal weapon of this year’s potential champions. How long before we have a Golden Dead Ball – Ballon Mort d’Or – awarded each season to the most profitable set piece coach?

Although Liverpool are latecomers to the Premier League party of corner kick aerial bombardment, it is something they have embraced wholeheartedly in recent weeks. Games are now won and lost in a six-yard box battlefield which has become no place for passengers or onlookers. West Ham were typically ill-prepared for such an assault with the three goals it earned the home side in the opening 45 minutes effectively killing the game.

Defending is a collaborative discipline, and most goals are down to collective failure rather than individual error. But having said that, the slight Mads Hermansen looks totally unsuited to the physical challenges that opponents can unleash at set pieces. He is far better than Alphonse Areola with the ball at his feet but as a shot stopper and for aerial ability he is obviously worse. A keeper who lacks presence, who is unable to dominate in the air always spreads panic and uncertainty across the entire defence. We have seen how this works repeatedly over the years. Hermansen had done OK on his return to the first team but when put under physical pressure for the first time, the terrified keeper from early season was back for all to see.

It’s not that others weren’t implicated in the goals. Mateus Fernandes could have been stronger in clearing the lines before goal number one; Aaron Wan-Bissaka inexplicably refusing to get close to Gakpo for the fourth. But, for me, too much of the vulnerability stemmed from a lack of belief in the keeper.

Aside from the goals conceded, there were some positives to the Hammer’s performance. They had plenty of the ball, heads didn’t drop and if games were settled on xG we would be laughing.

It is either paradox or coincidence that West Ham have failed to win any of their league games since the injury sustained by Pablo. Nuno’s effective tactical approach, discovered by accident, having fallen apart due to the unavailability of one technically limited component.

A second positive from the weekend was defeats for all the other relegation ‘hopefuls.’ We are in no worse a position than we were a week ago but have one fewer game to make up the deficit. While I had Liverpool down as the least winnable of our remaining games, the visit to Fulham is one of the potential victories if we are to survive. It will be the second favour of the week to be asked from the Cottagers if we are to pull it off. To win, Nuno must earn his corn with a more front foot lineup than we saw at Anfield. Possibly starting with both Taty and Callum Wilson up front.

***

West Ham’s long awaited accounts were finally published at the back end of last week. Although largely consistent with all the estimates leaked during the preceding months, this didn’t prevent a social media furore over the bleakness of the accounts. Confirmation of what a badly run club West Ham is.

It was a given that the absence of European competition and poor league performance would severely hit the broadcasting revenues on which the club is overly reliant. It is a situation that will not be improved by the next set of account due to continuing struggles on the pitch and the constraints of not having operational control of the stadium.

From my perspective there are two ways of looking at football finance. One is what must be done to comply with PSR/ FFP regulations. The other is the appetite of owners to invest in the club and what they hope to achieve from their ownership.

If West Ham survive this season, it will be the last year of PSR. Relegation would upset the whole apple cart; there is no doubt about that. But I’ll go no further down that particular rabbit hole until necessary.

As far as PSR for the current season is concerned, West Ham loss of £104 million in 2024/25 would be added to the prior season’s profit of £57m. On the face of it, this allows a £47m loss in 2025/26 to stay within the three-year £105m loss limit. However, these numbers do not take account of allowable deductions for women’s football and youth and community development. Over three years this might total anywhere between £35 to £50 million according to the estimates I have seen. Thus, allowable PSR losses in the current season could be up to £97 million.

I have no idea whether this still leaves West Ham in a hole. If it does, then selling a stake in the women’s team may be the preferred or only avenue available. Relying on player sales would be problematic as they would need to be completed by 31 May to appear in this year’s accounts.

When it comes to club ownership, we can see from the wider world of football that no-one buys a football club any more in the hope of making annual operating profits. Sustained success almost always requires surplus revenues to be ploughed straight back into player transfers and wages.

The allure of football club ownership is either asset appreciation, personal prestige, or to further other non-financial goals. Owning a club is like owning a rare piece of art. Something to show-off about and then sell for a hefty profit at some point in the future. Or else ownership is a vehicle to promote outside business interests or for the purposes of sovereign state soft power.

For most owners, a football club is a high-risk, low-income investment in the short term. With the potential for massive, high-prestige, long-term capital appreciation in the future. If West Ham’s owners can’t or won’t play that game, then they should get out. It is not a business where success can be achieved through penny pinching and seat of the pants management. COYI!

West Ham Survive The Brewer’s Droop But Face Stiff Bees Test To Remain Up For The Cup

Despite a dire performance in the substandard FA Cup tie at Burton, the Hammers are through to the 5th Round to face Brentford. Before that it is back to league football and the desperate battle for survival.

In the world of modern football, the entry of Premier League and Championship clubs into the FA Cup has developed into a series of phoney rounds in this glorious old competition. For the fans, it promises dreams, excitement, and anticipation. An outside chance of snatching silverware just five matches away on the road to Wembley. For the media, there are potential banana skins and giant killing heroics that make for thrilling content as an antidote to the tactical morass of league football.

But in the dugouts and technical areas things are far more cynical. Where the romance of the cup is increasingly viewed as an unwelcome inconvenience – a contractual obligation distracting from the real business of titles, European qualification, promotions and relegations. The manager’s conundrum: how much can I get away with while still making it look like we’re taking it seriously?

And so, this was how it was as the Hammers headed up the M1 to Burton for their 4th round tie against lowly League 1 opposition. Ten changes from the side who had faced Manchester United four days earlier including first starts for Adama Traore, Keiber Lamadrid and Mohammadou Kante. To test our patience even further, Nuno also reverted to his favoured cup formation of three centre-backs to cope with the anticipated threat from the mighty Brewers front line.

I’ve never been a fan of three at the back given it is generally adopted as a negative formation. To make it work requires high energy wing backs continually pushing up to provide attacking width; and wide forwards who are deployed narrower to create space on the wings and provide threat through the middle. None of that happened. And with two central midfielders seemingly instructed to sit deep it was a dire and disjointed effort. Perhaps no surprise from a team of relative strangers playing in a formation that didn’t suit them.

The entertainment was as far from a pulsating cup tie as could be imagined. Little of note happened for the entire 90 minutes of regulation time and it was only the introduction of Crysencio Summerville that lifted the game from its fitful slumber. The quality of his sixth goal in seven games totally out of character from the substandard game.

In line with current trends, the game’s major talking point revolved around the weak refereeing of Lewis Smith. The tackle by Freddie Potts was a clear foul and deserving of the yellow card originally selected by Smith. For the referee to change his mind, not due to advice from some guy in a bunker at Stockley Park, but due to the reaction of the Burton players was diabolical. Yet another irony of officiating whereby waving an imaginary card gets you a booking, but mobbing the referee gets the decision changed.

By the end, the Hammers were hanging on. But Nuno’s gamble or resting key players for the relegation battle had paid off. As with the previous round extra time had been required but we were into the hat for the 5th round draw. We shouldn’t scoff at this. It is an above average achievement for the club who since their last FA Cup win in 1980 have been dumped out of the competition by this stage in 60% of seasons.  

It was difficult to judge the performances of the young players in the circumstances. I have a general concerning our academy graduates in that they tend to be developed as tidy rather than exciting. Competent at receiving the ball, controlling it and making a simple pass, but lacking enough va va voom to make them special. Of those I’ve seen, Ezra Mayers looks to be the leading prospect.  

Last night’s 5th round draw turned up a home tie against bogey side Brentford. Games will be played on the weekend of March 7/8 after three more league games have taken place. Teams will be starting to take the cup more seriously by this stage, giving the managers plenty more to think about in what is shaping up to be an open tournament. West Ham will still be in survival chasing mode by then, while Brentford might well be eyeing Champion’s League qualification. It’s not the worst of draws but still a very difficult obstacle to overcome.

During the FA Cup hiatus, the Under The Hammers supercomputer, Deep Block, has been analysing the thousands of possible permutations and scenarios for the remaining league games. It concluded that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and points needed to guarantee Premier League survival is 42. A target that would require West Ham to pick up 18 points from the upcoming 12 games. That’s a minimum of 5 wins and a handful of draws. Not impossible but still a huge change of fortune for a team that has won just 30 of their last 100 league games, while averaging 1.15 points per game. Repeating such form would take us only to 38 points which may well not be enough. Below is my own winnability ranking of the 12 games to go.

The uphill challenge begins on Saturday with the visit of Bournemouth to the London Stadium. It is one of the games I feel that must be won if safety is to be achieved. But Bournemouth are an enigma. Losing player after player but then finding they have another one hidden up their sleeve. This time a teenage Brazilian (Rayan) who has slotted seamlessly into English football with two goals and an assist in 198 minutes played.

The Hammer’s preparations have been hampered by a mysterious injury to new signing Pablo. The striker becoming the latest occupant of the Andy Carroll suite at West Ham’s Rush Green Infirmary. Pablo’s absence will require a change to the more adventurous formation that had kickstarted our recent revival. My instinct is that Nuno will use Jean-Clair Todibo’s return from suspension as the excuse for a reprise of the three at the back experiment as follows: Hermansen – Todibo, Disasi, Mavropanos – Wan-Bissaka, Fernandes, Soucek, Diouf – Bowen, Taty, Summerville.

COYI!