Dockers Derby: On Opposite Banks

On Opposite Banks

Beneath the smoke of a London sky,
Where river tides would ebb and sigh,
Two clubs were forged from iron and flames,
And East End streets would learn their names.

One rose where shipwrights toiled way up high,
Where hammers rang out and sparks would fly.
Thames Ironworks formed 1895,
That’s where West Ham’s colours came alive.

The other grew by Millwall Dock,
Among the labour, rope and lock,
Where workers toiled through rain and cold,
With hearts as fierce as forged on gold.

They lived not worlds but miles apart,
Yet carried rival East End hearts.
The same hard roads, the same rough trade,
The same long shadows labour made.

Then years would pass and fortunes bend,
But neither side would ever mend.
For pride remembers what time forgets,
And old wounds leave their silhouettes.

Some speak of strikes and dockyard lore,
Of jobs and loyalties before,
Of neighbours split by work and creed,
And grudges planted like a seed.

The river watched as decades rolled,
As tales grew larger, stories told.
Each meeting fed the legend’s fire,
Each chant became a funeral pyre.

For peace that might have one day grown
Had history left the past alone.
Instead the echoes still remain
Along the tracks and down the lane.

Yet beyond the anger, beyond the noise,
Beyond the boasts of men and boys,
There stands a truth both clubs still share:
The East End spirit lingers there.

For both were born beside the tide,
With working people as their guide.
Two branches from a common tree,
Divided by their history.

And when the crowds begin to roar,
Recalling every score and war,
The Thames still flows as it has done,
Beneath the moon, beneath the sun.

It knows the tale, both harsh and grand,
Of rival hearts in London’s land.
Two clubs, one river running through,
Forever old, forever new.

For Luděk Mikloško

Through the nineties at Upton Park,
A giant keeper between the sticks,
With fearless hands and steady heart,
A goalie saving kicks and flicks.

From distant shores he came to us,
A stranger only for a while,
Yet soon the fans sang out his name,
For courage, grit, and humble smile.

When strikers thought the net was theirs,
And thundered shots with all their might,
He sprang through air with outstretched hands,
And turned despair to pure delight.

Through rain-soaked pitches, winter winds,
And battles fought on Saturday,
He wore the jersey with pride and honour, (373 times)
And gave his all in every way.

But more than saves and matchday cheers,
More than records, Man U denied,
He earned a place in Hammers’ hearts,
Where memories they still reside.

Now one last whistle marks the end,
As silence falls across the ground,
Yet in the future generations,
His name will always still be found.

So rest in peace, dear Luděk now,
Your watch is done, your duty through,
But in the stands and in your song,
The West Ham faithful remember you.

My name is Ludo Mikloško
I come from near Moscow,
I play in goal for West Ham,
West Ham!
When I walk down the street,
Everybody I meet says,
Oi big boy,
What’s your name,
My name is Ludo Mikloško
I come from near Moscow,
I play in goal for West Ham,
West Ham!

The Championship Waltz

We waved goodbye to Premier League lights,
To VAR rows and Monday nights,
And found ourselves on windswept grounds,
Where seagulls outnumber homeward-bound crowds.

The season began with a confident roar,
“We’ll romp this league!” cried fans by the score.
Yet three games in the mood had changed,
As dropped points left hopes somewhat deranged.

At Burnley, Preston, and Stoke away,
We’ll learn new ways to spoil their day.
Two up at Burnley this league can be fun
But two late goals, the game wasn’t won!

The manager talked of process and plans,
That tested the faith of travelling fans.
“Trust the project,” he’d calmly start on
And then we’d lose at home to Charlton!

One minute we’re brilliant, slick and fast,
Playing football built to last.
The next we’re launching hopeful punts,
The crowd would scream ‘you useless xxxxx’
(I couldn’t think of a suitable rhyme here)

Yet still we’d gather, clad in claret and blue,
Following dreams that we hoped would come true
For being a Hammer is strange but unique
West Ham are massive the words that we speak.

The summer was ending, a change in the weather.
For West Ham United results came together,
Four wins on the bounce, who thought we’d be able
To rise up so fast to the top of the table?

Next up it’s Millwall from south of the city,
They almost went up but missed out what a pity!
They’re not our best friends it goes back a long way
I do hope we’ll come out on top on the day.

And when promotion comes our way,
We’ll laugh at all this one fine day.
Though knowing West Ham, if truth be told,
We’ll leave it late, as is the mould.

So here ends my ode to the Championship trail,
The highs and the lows, the occasional derail.
Whatever the table reveals come next May
West Ham will do it in the West Ham way.

NOW That’s What I Call Football, Volume Six Zero: Five Takeaways From Hammer’s Hollywood Blockbuster

An out of the (claret and) blue West Ham performance of free-flowing football has supporters gobsmacked and observers purring while Nuno throws caution to the wind

Nuno Says Relax

The most pleasing aspect of Friday’s performance for me was to the witness excellent movement from the West Ham players right across the pitch. With movement in front of you, the opportunity for progressive passing becomes all the more possible. Too often players have been receiving the ball in stationary positions and opting for the safety-first option of the sideways pass. Momentum is lost; space created and unpredictability are at a premium. That all changed on Friday. It was football with a smile on its face, played with a swagger, verve and joie de vivre last seen during the pandemic.  

It is movement which creates space for others to exploit; and we started to see players carrying the ball from deep positions with purpose. It delivered flashes of the variety and flair that Hammer fans have longed for. One might even say it was football played the West Ham way. It was beautiful. It was dominant. It was entirely unrecognisable. But once the dust settled, every battle-hardened supporter will be asking themselves the same thing: can it be repeated, or was it the accidental expenditure of a season’s worth of competence in a single game?

Kante Goes To Hollywood

More often than not, it is the 30-yard piledriver that garners most attention and goes on to win goal of the season. Personally, I love a team goal scored at the culmination of a free flowing, well worked move – and there were plenty to choose from on Friday night.

Mukasa’s pinpoint cross-field pass, Solomon’s hold-up play, Morato’s overlap and measured cross, and Bowen’s run for number one. Solomon’s through ball, Taty’s unselfish pull back for Piroe to score the second. KWP’s lung busting run from his own penalty area and Taty’s cool finish for make it four-nil. Solomon’s delightful pass and Kante’s run, control and rising drive to make it five. Finally, another KWP run and layoff to setup Solomon for a well-deserved sixth.

Perhaps the move that epitomised the spirit of the performance the best didn’t even end in a goal. A combination of Taty – Piroe – Taty – Bowen with the latter’s drive whistling tantalisingly past the far post.

And how nice not to have to put up with VAR taking five minutes to analyse whether Taty’s shoulder blade was offside in the build up to the Piroe goal. Spontaneity is back. Long live the spontaneity!

Two Tribes: West Ham Exceptional or Wrexham Awful?

A natural tendency after such a commanding one-sided performance is to wonder whether the win was the result of the Hammer’s excellence or Wrexham’s shortcomings. Had we made them look ordinary or had the visitor’s ordinariness made us look world beaters. In truth, it was a combination of the two until a flood of goals generated confidence at one end and edginess at the other.

Wrexham seemed naïve rather than abysmal – not yet finding their feet in the second tier after their meteoric rise from obscurity. They were billed as a physically strong side alternating between intense pressing and a compact mid to low block. But failed to deliver. Perhaps it was the plan all along to sacrifice the freedom of the wings and hope to deal with low risk crosses in the centre. If it was, it was undone by the unfamiliar range of movement displayed by the Hammers. And, for once, there was no parking brake applied at half-time as Nuno’s men continued to press forward, seeking to score as many goals as they could.   

Welcome To The Hammerdome

In every all-round top-notch team performance, there are always those who standout, and it was understandably the attacking players who shone the brightest.

The spring was back in Jarrod Bowen’s step with the type of performance which reinforces that he is a cut above anyone else in this league. He might well have had a hattrick and there was one sublime ball to pick out Manor Solomon early in the second half.

On the opposite wing, we were treated to just what Solomon has to offer. In earlier games, I suggested he was all pie and no filling. On Friday, he was different gravy, making a contribution to four of the six goals scored, even if he didn’t earn an assist credit for all of them. The pass for the Kante goal was outstanding.

And then there was Taty. The subject of many a wantaway rumour during the summer, he doesn’t look like someone who would rather be elsewhere. He is clearly an intelligent footballer who has become adept at intricate link up play – something unexpected from last season’s performances. With Pablo out of the way, we see far more fluidity from his partnership with Piroe. It has me wavering over my dislike for Nuno’s 4-4-1-1 formation.

Taty’s goal was his first in the league this season and good to see the goals being shared around. The tally currently stands at Bowen (4), Piroe and Mav (3), Solomon, Kante and Mukasa (2).

The Power of Love: Table Toppers

More than one media outlet framed the West Ham performance as ominous for the remaining Championship clubs. Let’s hope it turns out that way and that momentum can be maintained. A possible consequence, though, is that opponents will look to frustrate the Hammers by defending deep and denying space. The test then becomes a case of achieving victory through attrition. Are we up for the challenge?

It is still early days for league tables but there is nothing like being right at the top. The caveat is that of the seven games played, only two have been against sides currently in the top half – while four have been against teams currently in the bottom six. But we have now reached the two points per game target which usually guarantees automatic promotion if maintained.

Of the other early pacesetters, Middlesbrough. Wolves, Southampton and (maybe) Swansea are likely to be the major threats.

Now there is just the small matter of a Carabao Cup tie and a trip across the river to Bermondsey to occupy us. COYI!

Bubbles Rising: Hammers Reach the Summit Before Hollywood Comes to Town

For at least one glorious evening, West Ham United found themselves looking down on the rest of the Championship. It may only be September and the league table currently has all the permanence of a sandcastle at high tide, but after Tuesday’s victory at Bolton Wanderers, the Hammers climbed to the summit. Temporary of course but enjoyable nonetheless. We all want to play in the Premier League but playing in the Championship can be fun. Every time we are there (and this is the sixth time in my lifetime) I have mostly enjoyed our time. It makes a change to win more than we lose.

As supporters, we’re under no illusions about the marathon ahead. Forty-six league games leave plenty of time for twists, turns and the occasional bout of self-inflicted heartache. After last season’s relegation, as fans we approached this campaign the same way you’d approach a suspicious kebab at two in the morning, cautiously optimistic but fully aware it could all go horribly wrong. But there is something undeniably comforting about seeing claret and blue occupying top spot, even if only for a fleeting moment. Let’s hope we can continue to occupy the top positions in the table. For the time being at least, although not totally convincing and with more integration work to be done, West Ham are giving us reasons to believe.

Bolton was exactly the sort of fixture that Championship football throws at you. A traditional club, a lively atmosphere and a ground where promotion ambitions can quickly disappear faster than a free pie in the away end. Tough away grounds in the Championship have a habit of chewing up lofty expectations and spitting them out somewhere around the centre circle. But West Ham approached the game with a maturity and confidence that is beginning to suggest this squad is beginning to understand exactly what the assignment is.

There was a controlled aggression to the performance. Not reckless, not frantic, but purposeful. Like a heavyweight boxer who knows he doesn’t need a first-round knockout, West Ham patiently went about their work, confident the opportunities would come. When they did, the Hammers were clinical. I still worry about Nuno’s favoured formation, his team selections, his substitution decisions, the timing and players used and withdrawn, the fact that at times we could make the opposition look good by the space we gave them in midfield. But perhaps that’s churlish? Three wins on the bounce and a rapid rise to the top after an indifferent start should satisfy us, at least for now.

What has perhaps pleased us (supporters) most in recent weeks is that this team no longer feels like a collection of Premier League refugees wondering how they ended up in the second tier. Instead, they are beginning to resemble a side embracing the challenge. There is grit where grit is required and quality when the game opens up. The travelling support, meanwhile, were magnificent as always. 4500 West Ham fans made enough noise to convince half of Lancashire that East London had declared independence.

Championship away days may lack the glamour of Premier League trips to Old Trafford or Anfield, but there is a rawness and authenticity to them that fans secretly enjoy. Real football, real grounds and real atmospheres. No VAR too. When the ball hits the net, the referee signals a goal and the linesman (assistant referee if you prefer) runs back towards the middle with his flag by his side you know the goal will stand. Instant celebration is hard to beat.

The Championship is littered with clubs who assumed their superior pedigree would carry them straight back up. More often than not, the division responds with a swift kick to the backside and a reminder that reputation earns precisely zero points. I think that we are learning that lesson. The victory at Bolton was another step in that education. It wasn’t just about the three points. It was about demonstrating an ability to handle pressure, navigate a difficult away fixture and come away with maximum reward. But the three points were important.

The reward for Tuesday’s efforts is a Friday night date under the lights at the London Stadium against Wrexham, and few could have predicted that fixture carrying quite so much intrigue. If Bolton represented traditional Championship grit, Wrexham arrive with an entirely different flavour. The Welsh club have become football’s version of a Hollywood blockbuster. Everywhere they go there are cameras, headlines and enough publicity to launch a small moon mission. Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney deserve enormous credit for what they’ve achieved, but you still occasionally expect Deadpool to appear at left-back.

Wrexham’s rise has been one of football’s most remarkable modern stories. Backed by Hollywood ownership and accompanied by a global spotlight, they’ve surged through the divisions at breathtaking speed. They are football’s equivalent of a blockbuster film franchise, hugely popular, impossible to ignore and seemingly collecting new followers by the day. Beneath the celebrity sparkle, however, sits a very good football team.

West Ham supporters expecting a comfortable evening should think again. Wrexham have built their ascent on organisation, resilience and an admirable refusal to be overawed by bigger names. They won’t arrive in East London simply grateful to be here. Anyone expecting Wrexham to arrive star-struck by the London Stadium may be in for disappointment. They’ve climbed the divisions by being organised, committed and seemingly immune to pressure.

If there was ever a game made for a Friday night under the lights, this is it. The cameras will be there. The atmosphere should be cracking. Social media will spend all week pretending the fixture is the football equivalent of Avengers Endgame. For West Ham, though, the task remains beautifully simple, we just need to win the game. Lose and the Championship will gleefully remind us that it specialises in bringing ambitious clubs back down to earth.

The Hammers have momentum and must protect it. Momentum in the Championship is like finding a shopping trolley with four working wheels, rare, precious and not something you want to let go of. The encouraging thing is that this squad appears increasingly comfortable with the pressure. Players are beginning to look less like Premier League survivors and more like a team determined to escape this division at the first attempt.

Of course, seasoned West Ham supporters know better than to get carried away. But a look through social media suggests that some are getting carried away. September league tables have fooled many before. Championship campaigns are long, unforgiving and occasionally downright ridiculous. But if Tuesday’s win at Bolton felt like another encouraging chapter, Friday offers the chance to build on it. For one night at least, we sat proudly at the head of the queue. Now comes the harder part and that is staying at the top.

We’ve all been here before. Supporting West Ham is a bit like riding a rollercoaster designed by someone who actively dislikes rollercoasters. Just when you’re enjoying the view, an unexpected twist arrives from nowhere. So strap yourselves in. If we can send Wrexham back up the M40 empty-handed, the bubbles might just keep rising a little while longer. And after the frustrations of recent times, that is a tune every West Ham fan will be happy to keep singing.

The circus is rolling into East London, Hollywood is coming to Stratford, and West Ham have the chance to ensure that when the credits roll on Friday night, the leading role belongs to the Hammers.

A Prod Is As Good As A Dink To A Signed Norse: Austbo Adds Gloss To West Ham’s Derby Demolition

A late cameo from debutant Austbo steals the show as West Ham eventually ease past an unadventurous Derby at the London Stadium. The Hammers are maybe finally finding their Championship feet.

Saturday 5 September 2026. London Stadium, Stratford E15. Partly Sunny 22C

Pre-match Tensions

Another week, another swing from desolate doom to unbridled celebration as West Ham’s season trundles along while transfer windows and boardroom plots lurk in the shadows. To keep on top of things in the modern game, a football fan needs to be as familiar with player amortisation, squad cost ratios and pre-emptive shareholder rights as they are with formations, transitions and inverted full backs. How have they made it so complicated?

Some years ago, a group of boffins – remember them, the one-time staple of tabloid headlines, as in “Busty Boffin In Raunchy Love Nest Romp” – calculated that when your team loses it robs you of four times the amount of happiness that is gained from a win. The joy of a win is fleeting while the sadness of defeat lingers for many hours more. Possibly even longer now there is a whole online ecosystem feeding off that disappointment and transforming it into outrage. Analysing each stray pass, defensive lapse, fluffed chance, and refereeing injustice.

Once upon a much simpler time, the only statistic I was interested in after the latest reverse to an undeserving opponent was my xP – the expected number of pints needed to completely forget what I had just seen. Now the postmortem extends way beyond the call of last orders.

It was interesting to hear Nuno say how much the win against Wolves had lifted the mood at the club. My belief was that erratic game-to-game volatility is the preserve of the supporter rather than the coach, whose job is to take objective and balanced views in fixing what isn’t working regardless of results. But I suppose winning builds confidence and today is an early opportunity to observe how that works out in practice.

The Teams Are Announced

There are two changes from the team that started on Tuesday. Veltman and Piroe come in to replace Walker-Peters and Pablo. Veltman was not the most exciting of summer signings, but he brings a wealth of experience and a definite sense of leadership to the team. Deadline day signings Boiro and Morato both find a place on the bench.

Pablo is the notable absentee from the matchday squad. Does that mean an injury or is an exit on the cards to one of the leagues where the transfer window remains open? With Ajala missing also, there are no backup striker among the substitutes.

A slither of hope for those willing Pablo to eventually come good is that it took Peter Crouch 1,229 minutes to score his first goal after his move to Liverpool. Pablo is currently on 1,150 minutes and counting. Perhaps bagging the winner against Millwall will do the trick.

Hermansen, Veltman, Mavropanos, Kilman, Scarles, Engels, Mukasa, Bowen ©, Solomon, Piroe, Taty. Subs: Herrick (GK), Walker-Peters, Boiro, Morato, Golambeckis, Lamadrid, Kanté, Austbø, Orford   

The match referee is Oliver Langford. His Mike Dean challenge for today is to perform a charade of Three Men and a Baby while sorting out the goalmouth skirmishes in preparation for a corner kick.

First Half Report

West Ham 1 (Piroe 6) Derby County 0

Nuno is persevering with his 4-4-something formation with all its loss of fluidity and the potential for overload in the midfield. Most coaches had abandoned it years ago, but Nuno must see what others don’t or else believes it to be the only one suited to the players in his squad – even after all the comings and goings of the summer.

On paper, the centre of midfield pairing of Engels and Mukasa feels lightweight. It is also a setup which places too much defensive responsibility on the wide attacking players, Bowen and Solomon. Fortunately, Derby have arrived without any ambition to compete in the midfield areas and are happy to surrender control to their hosts. Taty and Piroe are rotating up top, and it takes only six minutes for them to combine and open the scoring. Bowen’s fine cross, Taty’s header back across goal and Piroe perfectly placed to prod home.

The remainder of the first half is one-way traffic with the Hammers creating plenty of chances to extend their lead. The early goal has not galvanised the visitors into action, and they are content to keep it tight at the back and not concede further goals.

At times there is even a touch of swagger in West Ham’s approach play including several delightful combinations featuring Taty, Bowen and Mukasa. How refreshing to have a player like Mukasa able to carry a threat through central areas of the pitch. It makes the team so much less predictable. Elsewhere, the defence has looked collectively sound, and Engels is putting in an excellent shift in the engine room. It is also pleasing to see more bodies getting into the box in support of attacks.

The Hammers will be frustrated to go in the break just one goal to the good. For a team that has historically failed to perform in two consecutive halves of football the question is: will they live to regret it?

Full Time Report

West Ham 3 (Piroe 6, Austbo 87, Kante 90+5) Derby County 0

It’s not clear what Nuno says to his players during the half-time team talk but once again lethargy has crept into Hammer’s demeanour following the re-start. Whatever has been said, it has not had the desired motivational effect.

Luckily, despite their increased possession, Derby have offered little in the way of goal threat. But a single goal lead is always precarious. It only needs a deflected shot, a set piece scramble – or for the referee to have called hand ball when the ball struck Mav’s arm in the area – for it to be cancelled out.

As an attacking force, the Hammers had become especially weak down their left-hand side. Scarles game lacks composure and conviction at the moment and could well do with a break from first team action. Solomon, on the other hand, continues to flatter to deceive. He’s like a disappointing firework. Looks good, has great attitude, good control and first touch. But the explosion never comes. The blue touch paper has been lit but fizzles out in a puff of smoke and stray sparks. He had one great opportunity to enter the memorable West Ham goals hall of fame when an audacious lobbed pass from Mukasa fell nicely into his path – but the mistimed shot looped tamely into the keeper’s arms.

A welcome treat for Nuno this weekend was that his substitutions worked out perfectly. Orford replacing the injured Taty shored up the midfield, pushed Mukasa further forward and altered the team’s shape for the better. And it was the introduction of Austbo and Kante which triggered the late scoring flurry to secure all three points.

Full marx to Engels for his surging run and cross that arrived (via a scuffed Bowen shot) at the feet of Austbo to steer calmly home and register a dream debut goal. Then, as the clock ticked down, Austbo’s clever pass forward invited Kante to lash home from just outside the box.

In the end, it was a job well done. A decent and encouraging overall performance, a rare clean sheet, and a more respectable look to the league table. A second consecutive win makes it a double happiness week and evens up the balance for the season if you include cup games.

Now it must be done all over again for the upcoming games on Tuesday and Friday evenings. We must rely on Nuno to make the correct and intelligent squad rotation decisions to maintain the new found momentum. COYI!

Promotion Isn’t Won In September but are West Ham Beginning to Find Their Championship Identity?

A glimpse of the promotion contenders we hoped for with three points against Wolves

glasses I would probably have felt that it seemed like a significant moment in West Ham’s season. I hope it was significant but I was watching for a lot of the time through my fingers. In many ways it was a good and bad performance at the same time. To score four goals against a side likely to be one of the main contenders for promotion was certainly very good, and if we had been offered that prior to the game then the proverbial hand would have been bitten off. But once again two goals were conceded and it could have been more. The defence remains a big concern.

But after an uncertain start to life back in the Championship, we finally saw a performance that at times combined attacking quality, energy and, most importantly, three points. Divine Mukasa announced himself to a wider audience with two excellent goals. Jarrod Bowen still doesn’t quite seem to be the player we know he can be but I’m looking forward to him giving us a demonstration this season of why he will be one of the division’s standout players.

The win moved us onto five points from our opening four league matches after draws with Burnley and Watford and a disappointing defeat to Charlton. While sitting mid-table after four games is hardly promotion-winning form, the manner of the Wolves victory suggested that the team may finally be beginning to click. Mukasa’s double, the first one a worldie, the second perhaps a slightly fortunate deflection, and an overall attacking display that produced four goals against one of the pre-season promotion favourites should give everyone around the London Stadium genuine encouragement.

What was particularly encouraging was the contribution of some of our new arrivals. Mukasa stole the headlines, but I thought Joel Piroe helped create problems throughout. Manor Solomon has already shown flashes of the creativity and direct running that made him such a potentially exciting signing, while Arne Engels had his best game to date I reckon and will hopefully bring energy, composure and technical quality to midfield. Joel Veltman, meanwhile, should add experience and leadership to a defence that is still some way away from where it needs to be.

Of the nine summer signings, Engels, Edvin Austbo, Manor Solomon, Keiber Lamadrid, Adama Boiro, Joel Veltman, Morato, Joel Piroe and Divine Mukasa, it is those five players who we have been able to glimpse so far. But it is still very early days. It will take time for the team to settle and the others to get involved too. For me Mukasa’s performance against Wolves was undoubtedly the standout individual display of the season so far, but Engels will I hope be a natural fit in midfield. I’d like to see him alongside Orford, one academy player I have high hopes for. Solomon has added flair and shown flashes of what he is capable of, and Piroe will hopefully become the reliable goalscorer every promotion-chasing side needs. Championship campaigns are marathons rather than sprints. The depth provided by players such as Morato, Boiro, Austbo and Lamadrid will prove crucial once injuries, suspensions and fixture congestion begin to take their toll. I hope they all prove to be worthy additions. Time will tell.

Attention now turns to Saturday’s home game against Derby County. On paper, this is exactly the type of fixture that promotion contenders need to be winning. Derby arrive with four points from their opening four matches and have already shown some inconsistency, following up a good win at Portsmouth with a heavy defeat against Swansea. They may not be the biggest name in the division but they are exactly the kind of opponent who can trip up a side with promotion ambitions.

The challenge for West Ham is to build momentum. Too often over the years we have followed an encouraging result with a frustrating setback. If we can reproduce the intensity and attacking intent shown against Wolves, there is every reason to believe we can collect another three points. The London Stadium crowd should also be buoyed by what was witnessed on Monday night, creating an atmosphere that could help push the team forward. I’d just like to see us going for it right at the start of the match.

Looking more broadly at the promotion picture, the early Championship table illustrates just how competitive the division is likely to be. Swansea, QPR and Charlton are the unlikely leaders and have set the early pace with ten points from their first four matches, while Wolves remain firmly in contention despite their defeat in East London. West Ham sit on five points, which means there is work to do, but four games is far too early for definitive conclusions.

That brings me to an interesting comparison with last season’s promoted clubs: Coventry City, Ipswich Town and Hull City. None of those sides won promotion in the opening month. In fact, all three were still finding their identity after four matches and were some distance from the consistency they eventually showed over the full campaign. After four games Coventry were fifth, Hull were 17th on four points, and Ipswich were 20th with three points.

History tells us that automatic promotion is rarely secured in September. Consistency over 46 matches is what matters. Geoff has pointed out in previous articles that looking at the last decade of Championship seasons, the second-placed side has typically required somewhere in the region of 88 to 96 points to secure automatic promotion. In several seasons, the total has been above 90 points, meaning a side usually needs to average close to two points per game across the campaign. We are currently up to 1.25.

That should serve as a reminder that our current tally of five points from four matches leaves little room for complacency. However, it should also provide perspective. One good run of form can transform the table remarkably quickly. Championship seasons are littered with examples of teams who made steady starts before hitting their stride.

The common thread between those teams was not a blistering start but continuous improvement. Each gradually developed a settled team, reliable partnerships and a clear style of play. They found ways to win difficult away games, avoided lengthy losing runs and accumulated points steadily through the winter months.

At West Ham we have the potential to follow a similar path. Unlike many Championship clubs, we do possess some genuine Premier League-level talent in the squad. Bowen remains one of the division’s elite players and is the best example. His quality and goals will hopefully make the difference in tight matches throughout the season.

We have scored eight goals, only Wolves (11) and Southampton (10) have scored more. But there are still issues to address. We aren’t flawless by any means and the Wolves game, despite the result, confirmed that. Wolves found a lot of space at times and controlled the majority of the possession as we began to sit back. The two goals we conceded were avoidable. As it did last season conceding goals remains a concern. We’ve conceded seven so far, only the bottom four clubs plus Millwall and Wolves have conceded more.

Yet for the first time this season I had a sense that the pieces are beginning, but only just beginning, to fall into place. The combination of Bowen’s experience, Engels arrival, Mukasa’s emergence, Taty and Piroe’s goalscoring instincts, and the quality added by the late summer recruitment giving the squad some added depth gives me reason for some optimism, certainly at Championship level. I hope that Mavropanos, who has been both good and bad so far, is not going to suffer the Hammer of the Year curse as Wan Bissaka did last season. I also don’t believe Kilman is as bad as most of our fans on social media believe, certainly not at this level.

If we can back up the Wolves performance with victories against Derby and in the matches that follow, then the conversation around West Ham will begin to change. Instead of discussing a difficult adjustment to Championship football, we will start talking about a club gathering momentum and moving towards the automatic promotion places.

Four games into the season, it is far too soon to panic and equally too soon to get carried away. But after Monday night’s performance, I am beginning believe West Ham finally look like a side capable of mounting and hopefully sustaining the promotion challenge I expected to see. Perhaps I do wear claret and blue tinted glasses? The task now is to prove it wasn’t a one-off.

Seven Points Thrown Away: And So It’s My Assumption, Nuno’s Up The Watford Junction

Except for the names and a few other changes, it is the same West Ham story at Vicarage Way as slow build up, risk aversion, poor movement and a lack of penetration lead to frustration and the loss of more important league points.

Vicarage Road, Watford. Saturday 29 August 2026. 3:00 PM. Light to Heavy Showers: 19C

Pre-match Thoughts

As ever the big question when West Ham play Watford is “are Watford a London club?” The evidence is conflicting. I’m sure they appeared in a bold typeface in the old Evening News/ Standard Saturday night classifieds; and were occasionally featured on London Weekend Television’s Big Match the following day. The town is served by the London Underground, sits inside the M25 and is no further from Central London than Romford is. On the other hand, it officially remained part of Hertfordshire rather than being annexed (as Romford and indeed West Ham were) during the expansion of Greater London in 1965. So, there you have it. The answer is “possibly”.

The other big question is what lessons, if any, will have been learned from last Saturday’s woeful effort against Charlton and the noticeable midweek improvement at Southampton? We’ll know fairly soon.

This will be the penultimate game before the transfer window closes as West Ham will again be playing on the actual night. Although the Boardroom has lost some its reputation for having more leaks than soup in a basket, the window has largely played out much as it always has. Better prices have been received for departures admittedly, but progress on signings has been as hesitant, haphazard and protracted as usual.

Alongside the transfer window, the pre-emption round for the purchase of the Gold family shares also slams shut over the coming week. The widespread belief is that Daniel Kretinski will emerge as the main buyer, but we can’t know that for certain. Maybe he has seen enough over the last few weeks to have a change of heart and pass the poison chalice onto the Staveley consortium.

The Teams Are Announced

Nuno’s team selection shows three changes from the side that started against Charlton. Out go Mavropanos (injured), Scarles and Piroe. In come Veltman, Golambeckis and Mukasa. On paper it looks like a 4-2-3-1 with Mukasa deployed as the creative attacking midfielder. Walker-Peters is switched to left back ahead of Mayers and Scarles.

A surprise after the midweek performances is that it is Kante who gets the nod over Orford. This may be due to Nuno’s preference for height in centre of midfield – the same rationale for Soucek’s frequent starts last season. The absence of a quick, mobile and tactically aware deep lying midfielder to protect the defence continues to stick out.

Match Report

Watford 1 (Nabizada 19) West Ham 1 (Pollock (OG) 27)

There was too little action this week to divide the match report into its separate halves.      

West Ham had a brightish opening ten minutes but with only another blocked shot from Bowen to show for their efforts. The early momentum then switched as the home side began to grow in confidence and into the game. The Hornets took the lead on 19 minutes with a neat lobbed finish that a proper goalkeeper with normal sized arms should easily have saved. For a while, Watford’s ascendency suggested they might well double their lead to add to visitor’s woes. However, the Hammers survived and largely control possession for the remainder of the game. Apart, that is, from a short spell of Watford dominance just after the break as the Hammers recovered from Nuno’s inspiring half-time team talk.

The game had returned to all square by the break thanks to an unnecessary attempt to play out from the back by Keben in the home defence. Full marks to Taty for not giving up the chase but the goal came gift-wrapped rather than as a reward for any incisive claret and blue play.

The second half was almost entirely without incident. The Hammers created little from their near 70% possession or from the succession of corners which floated carelessly into the night. Watford’s occasional forays up field, while executed with purpose, rarely caused meaningful danger.

It was textbook low intensity football from West Ham. The apparent formation change made little material difference and played out as a hybrid of the anticipated 4-2-3-1 and the 4-4-1-1 that has plagued our approach since its unexpected short-term success at the start of the year.

Transition was again painfully slow; defined by a pointless back and forth in the defensive third. The theoretically most dangerous outlets (Bowen and Solomon) typically received the ball in deep, static positions with a full defensive line reformed in front of them – given ample time get back into its shape.

For the most part, our wingers do most of their work well away from the danger areas. Cutting inside before running out of space and being forced to play sideways or backwards. It is a rarity to have a ball played into space for a wide man to run onto. And if (and when) a ball is eventually delivered into the box, there are never enough bodies arriving to attack it.

Everything we see is a consequence of the low-risk mindset at the heart of Nuno’s footballing philosophy. It might occasionally work when the opposition is attack minded (as it did at Southampton) but is hopeless when confronted with a low block or intense pressing. The sad fact is that this will be case in the majority of Championship games this season.

Of equal significance is the lack of movement this risk averse attitude engenders. Where are the runners, who is creating the space for others to exploit? Mukasa struggled to make any impact – as other attacking midfielders have before him – due to an obvious lack of passing options and movement in front of him. It is a team playing on their heels rather than their toes. This has been a long running West Ham problem relieved only temporarily during the Lingard/ Rice purple patch of 2021.

Supporters are right to want and expect more signings before the window closes. But those signings should be to convert a squad already good enough for top four into certainties for promotion. The fact is we currently sit in 19th place having dropped seven points from the nine available. The only reasonable conclusion is that the underlying problem lies in the dugout. A mindset that was complicit in last season’s relegation and refuses to budge or adapt.

Will bringing in different players make the necessary improvements if nothing else changes. Marginally perhaps but not to the level required to achieve automatic promotion. It would the equivalent of signing up more A-list actors for a movie where the Director is clueless and the script and screenplay are an abomination.

The writing must surely be on the wall for Nuno. There are five more league games and an EFL third round encounter before the international break. It will need a massive turnaround for the manager to survive the chop at that point. We can officially launch the six games to save his job countdown, starting with Tuesday night’s clash with Wolves.

One bright spot from the game was the assured performance of Golambeckis in the centre of defence. He has the look of a very intelligent centre-back with good pace and great awareness. It will be interesting to see how he fares against the more agricultural of Championship strikers. COYI!

A Fistful Of Transfer Fees: A Time To Spend, Spend, Spend? Plus Preview of West Ham at Watford

The lows of last Saturday were partly offset by a youth inspired Carabao Cup high at Southampton. What now for West Ham as they return to league action in the last weekend of the transfer window?

It’s been a fairly typical week in the life of a West Ham supporter. From the anger and despair of that submissive performance against Charlton at the weekend to the delight of a youth inspired Carabao cup romp on the south coast a few days later.

People say that following West Ham is roller coaster ride. But it’s the reverse really. On a roller coaster the thrills come on the way down while in football they are felt on the way up. Perhaps ultimately neither truly live up to expectations or last long enough in the memory.

We should really have learned our lesson by now or accepted that our support is no more than an annual subscription to disappointment. Wouldn’t it be refreshing if the club marketed it in this way? Upgrade your Casual Sufferer free trial to enjoy the full benefits of our Frequent Flagellant membership. A special limited time offer which must end when the transfer window closes.

One of the accidental benefits from relegation is the opportunity to survive an extra round or two in the Carabao Cup before the obligatory autumnal elimination comes around, usually away at Liverpool. Even so, an away tie with Southampton looked like no easy task on the evidence of form to date. The Saints boasting an impressive home record at the St Mary’s Stadium.

However, despite the best efforts of master spy, Tonda Eckert – the miniature microphone hidden behind the Piri-Piri sauce bottle in the Rush Green canteen, motion tracking cameras installed on the top of training cones or sending Sammy Saint along with a pair of Meta glasses – he was unable to prepare his side for the youthful exuberance of the West Ham performance.

Once again, the early signs were not encouraging. A lack of awareness and tenacity in the Hammers defence allowing the home side to grab a soft early lead. Gradually, the youngsters grew into the game, drew level just before the break, and blew the hosts away in the second period. Josh Ajala stole many of the headlines with a debut brace but there were also fine contributions from Lewis Orford, Divine Mukasa and Airidas Golambeckis. It was pleasing to see four very well taken goals.

It would be premature to bet the remainder of our season on these young lads but they can surely play an important part and become part of a brighter home-grown future. For me, seeing Mukasa carry the ball forward with confidence was a reminder of how much this has been missed from the Hammers line-up – unfortunately, he is not our player.

I have seen suggestions that Nuno can use the victory as a blueprint for the rest of campaign. If he does let’s hope he doesn’t have it back-to-front or upside down.

With the transfer window still having several days to run, the club is mired in a phoney squad building phase. Not knowing who can be shifted and who can be recruited during the final days as the clock ticks down. The scale of problem has been magnified by circumstances at West Ham this time around. The finances were in a godawful mess even before relegation and will have been giving the bean counters double entry nightmares ever since thanks to a huge drop in revenues, a boardroom stalemate and the need to comply with the 85% squad cost ratio rules. Untangling the gordian knot of inherited chaos, outstanding debt, and ongoing transfers while remaining competitive cannot be underestimated. A bit like attempting to repair a cassette tape that had got mangled up in the tape player with only a pencil for assistance – but harder! Will it ever play properly again?

The good news is that the completed and pipeline transfers out will have saved tidy sums on player wages and amortisation, as well as generating significant player sale profits – which can be added back in to revenues for SCR purposes. Hopefully, it is clear by now what is left in petty cash to strengthen the squad in the final days of the window – assuming there is money left over after meeting outstanding cash flow obligations from previous seasons.

I doubt it’s going to be spend, spend, spend but those gaps in the squad won’t fill themselves. I still want to see reinforcements at centre back and defensive midfield as a minimum – whether that means spending a portion of the transfer windfall or raiding the loan market. As long as no-one is daft enough to sign Reiss Nelson.

Saturday sees West Ham’s first return to Vicarage Road since December 2021, a game the Hammers won 4-1 and featured Nikola Vlasic’s only goal for the Hammers. In fact, the last three visits to Watford have each ended with comfortable away wins at an aggregate of 11 goals for and 3 against.

Can we assume that Nuno has finally seen the light and abandons his 4-4-2 or 4-4-1-1 obsession for good. It was only ever an expediency to cater for the inclusion of winter signings, Taty and Pablo. A 4-2-3-1 formation makes far more sense in ensuring we are not overrun in midfield and vulnerable through the centre. My own pick for a starting eleven would be: Areola • Veltman Mavropanos Kilman Mayers • Engels Orford • Bowen Mukasa Solomon • Taty (or Piroe).

Watford have started the season with a home win against Southampton and an away draw at Wrexham in the league. In midweek, a much-changed team were thrashed 5-1 Peterborough at Vicarage Road. With a recent history of constant upheaval, being a Hornet’s fan must be equally as frustrating as being a Hammer.

A scene from the Comic Strip’s spoof spaghetti western “A Fistful Of Travelers Cheques” predicted perfectly how the club would later be run under their current owners:

Carlos: Which football team do you support?
Miguel: Eh… Watford.
Carlos: [spits] Watford can’t play to save their lives, amigo!
Miguel: I agree.
Carlos: Oh. Oh, well then, I don’t agree! I think they can play. They just need a new manager!

Any many a new manager have they had. Current incumbent, Alessio Dionisi, is the 25th to hold the title since the Pozzo family assumed control in 2012. Do they bother putting a name on the door? Hiden away on the list are some familiar old names including Glenn Roeder, Gianfranco Zola and Slaven Bilic. Of all the managers employed, it is Zola who holds the record for surviving the greatest number of games.

Other West Ham connections are one time director Jack Petchey who owned Watford during the 1980/90s – buying from and then selling back to Elton John – and current CEO, Scott Duxbury, who held the same role at Upton Park prior to the Gold & Sullivan takeover.  

According to the internet, Dionisi’s style revolves around building from the back, attacking overloads, intense pressing and pushing bodies forward. Basically, the same as most sides outside of West Ham. It should allow space at the back for the Hammers to exploit. It will be a good opportunity to see how young players react to an intense pressing opponent.

What we will get on the day is anyone’s guess. Can we maintain a decent level of intensity over 90 minutes, can we not only pass accurately but with purpose, can we manage to defend a lead without dropping deeper and deeper? Come on Nuno, you know it makes sense. COYI!       

West Ham Face Critical Dilemma Following Charlton Clash: Should He Stay Or Should He Go Now?

An inability to establish an identity on the pitch, players regularly played out of position, glaring gaps in the squad, and another rudderless performance against Charlton on Saturday raise serious concerns over Nuno’s future at the London Stadium

London Stadium. Saturday 22 August 2026. 3:00 PM. Partly sunny: 21C

Pre-Match Thoughts

The season may be a few games old by now, but it is the daily transfer chatter which continues to dominate the cyber waves. With another week or so still to go, further comings and goings are guaranteed as the bean counters grapple with the two-pronged cash flow and squad cost ratio dilemma. A situation not at all helped by the unwelcome and drawn-out ownership skirmishes dividing the boardroom.

The best advice is don’t get that favourite player’s name printed on the back of your shirt until the final squad lists are published, and the window has finally closed on 1 September. Does the transfer window still slam shut when you’re in the Championship? The jerky grating of an old patio door stuck on its runners is perhaps more in keeping with the make-do-and-mend environment we find ourselves in currently.

Reading supporter’s comments online, I get the sense that transfer schizophrenia abounds. It would be great to unearth emerging talent, but what we need are players with experience at this level. Now’s not the right time to take a flyer on unproven talent when there are immediate problems to solve, they say. Just as it won’t be next season, or the season after that. And that, unfortunately, leaves us with the same short-term, unplanned, expedient recruitment approach that has failed to deliver for the past 15 years. The strategy that is responsible for the haphazard, bits and pieces squad we see before us. Buying tomorrow’s deadwood today by scouring the clearance sales for late career players and overpaying for foreign imports unsuited to the English game. All topped up by an assortment of last-minute emergency loans.

Some feel that Nils Koppen should have made more of a mark by now. But that’s a big call for a guy who is just a few weeks into his job; trying to understand Nuno’s requirements and match them to competent players available at knockdown prices. A Director of Recruitment is for life, not just for a single transfer window!

Still, at least Nuno has a  few new options to toy with ahead of today’s visit of Charlton Athletic. Let’s see how it pans out.

The Team Sheets Are In

Chapter 9 of the Timid Manager’s Handbook recommends not starting your new signings until they’ve had at least one game sat on the bench. Surprisingly, Nuno has gone rogue this afternoon and given starting debuts to both Engels and Piroe.

The official website is presenting it as a 4-2-3-1 and it will be interesting to see how that works out in practice. The assumption is that Piroe will be furthest forward and Taty in a more withdrawn role. He’s not my idea of a Number 10 but innocent until proven guilty and all that.  

This will be the first home league meeting with Charlton for almost exactly 20 years when West Ham ran out 3-1 victors in August 2006. Former Hammer, Connor Coventry will feature in the Addicks midfield.

Half Time Report

West Ham 0 Charlton 1 (Jones 7)

An all too familiar sluggish start from the Hammers with a formation that shows how dangerous assumptions are when it comes to Nuno. Our new, proven Championship goalscorer has been shoehorned into the Pablo role behind the striker; leaving a disinterested Taty to wander around up top by himself.

Soon, we are a goal down. An innocuous, not particularly long or flat throw-in is allowed to bounce, and the ball is in the back of the net as defenders and goalkeeper look on in amazement.

The pattern of play for the remainder of the half settles into routine frustration. The thrift shop Charlton side are quick and incisive on the break with players able to run with the ball. West Ham are slow and predictable. Hoping to bore the opposition into a stupor by the monotony of their passing.

Focusing your attacks through wide players is a reasonable tactic if you can get the ball out to them quickly and you’re not playing your main striker in midfield. But when you allow opponents to get back into shape while you play triangles in the middle third blunts any offensive threat. Apart from a late Taty header, the Charlton goal face little danger.

Full Time Report

West Ham 1 (Piroe 74) Charlton 2 (Jones 7, Campbell 56)

Nuno replaced Kante with Orford at half-time. One not-really-a-defensive-midfielder for another. This is apparently the extent of his plan for turning things around as everything stayed thesame. The build-up remained ponderous and West Ham still had no-one capable of carrying the ball through the opposition lines. An ability that left (and has never been replaced) with the departure of Declan Rice. On first appearances, it doesn’t look like Arne Engels is the answer to that deficiency.

By the 56th minute, Charlton were two up. Mavropanos had plenty of time to deal with a straightforward punt up field. He made a mess with his original control, had an opportunity to recover but chose to try and buy a foul instead. The referee, perhaps free from the spectre of scrutiny by VAR, was not so easily fooled. A shot from the edge of the box into the corner of the net completed the embarrassment. Should the keeper have done better?

On a good day, Mavropanos is the club’s only reliable defender. But last season’s HOTY becomes a bag of nerves when partnered with Kilman. Neither full-back excels defensively and it is puzzling why the manager continues to opt for Scarles over Mayers.

Defensive lapses are as much a part of West Ham’s DNA as blowing bubbles. A competent defence is a foundation for success. If the recruitment department have only one focus over the next week it should be to find uncompromising replacements for the defensive midfield and centre back positions.

West Ham’s late second half flurry had more to do with Charlton sitting back than any inspired tactical changes. It resulted in a debut goal for Piroe, several headed opportunities that went begging, and a shot from Mukasa that was well saved by the keeper. There should have been a get-out-of-jail card moment in the closing minutes but inexplicably penalty taking duties had been assigned to Taty rather than Bowen. It’s about time, the show-boaty, stuttering penalty run-up was consigned to the Room 101 of football history.  

Nuno has become the latest in a sequence of West Ham managers to stand forlorn and bemused on the wide expanse of the London Stadium touchline. Apparently powerless to do anything about the events unfolding on the pitch. His body language says, “I wish I wasn’t here” and, for once, I agree with him.

Did he just get lucky (as managers often do) in those brief spells at Wolves and Forest? He has been at West Ham for a year now and the team shows no sign of developing an effective style of play or demonstrating a football philosophy. Just as timidity didn’t lead to safety last season, it is unlikely to win promotion this.

With a tough run of league and cup games coming up before the international break, his future must surely be in the balance. No doubt, we must endure the obligatory x games to save his job charade before sanity prevails.     

Pointathon Update

With two games gone and a points per game average of 0.5, the run rate to reach an automatic promotion target of 90 points has increased from 1.96 to 2.02 points per game. Five out of a possible 138 points have been lost forever.

Plenty to think about on the training ground then. In my old football training days, we would regularly play shirts versus skins. I wonder if Nuno goes for Square Pegs versus Round Holes? COYI!