Matches Made in Heaven: The Fixtures Computer Has Its Say

Next seasons fixtures have been belched out by the computer with just 59 days to go to kick-off.

Fixtures Computer

The Fixture Computer has completed its complex computations, the lights have stopped flashing, all whirring and clicking has ceased and floppy disks have been dispatched to the anxiously waiting media.

True to form, West Ham have been scheduled to play every other team in the league two times during the season but despite this certainty there is plenty of opportunity to agonise over the order of games.

The season kicks-off on 12 August (TV schedules permitting) with a visit to the Theatre of Defeats where Jose will be unveiling several hundred millions of new talent. The following weekend is meant to be a home game against Southampton but as the retractable seating will yet to have been bolted back together after the World Athletics Championships then this match will need to be rescheduled; I assume by swapping it with the Saints away fixture in March 2018.

The first game at the London Stadium will be against relegation fodder, Huddersfield Town on September 9 while they are still in the Premier League honeymoon period of insane effort and optimism. At least the transfer window will have finished by then and all the last minute loans will be in place.  A good start to the season is always welcome as it serves to relieve any early pressure or uncertainty but it would be a surprise to earn such a luxury this coming season. Still there is always the odd early season surprise.

Injuries, suspensions, fixture congestion, cup runs and loss of form are all more likely to impact the progress of the season than the order in which the games are played. Nevertheless, if we do experience a repeat of last season’s poor performances the run-in is not the one you would have chosen; featuring as it does four of the big six (plus Everton) in the last eight games. Fingers crossed that we have accumulated forty points by Easter.

To date it remains pretty much as you were at West Ham and at this stage the Hammers must be regarded as at least a metaphorical twenty points behind in the polls. Never say never, though, and all that is required are inspired signings, better tactics, sharper training, improved fitness and a more objective approach to team selection and we could end up as contenders.

The fixtures in full:

Saturday 12 August

Manchester United v West Ham United

Saturday 19 August

West Ham United v Southampton

Saturday 26 August

Newcastle United v West Ham United

Saturday 9 September

West Ham United v Huddersfield Town

Saturday 16 September

West Bromwich Albion v West Ham United

Saturday 23 September

West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur

Saturday 30 September

West Ham United v Swansea City

Saturday 14 October

Burnley v West Ham United

Saturday 21 October

West Ham United v Brighton & Hove Albion

Saturday 28 October

Crystal Palace v West Ham United

Saturday 4 November

West Ham United v Liverpool

Saturday 18 November

Watford v West Ham United

Saturday 25 November

West Ham United v Leicester City

Wednesday 29 November

Everton v West Ham United

Saturday 2 December

Manchester City v West Ham United

Saturday 9 December

West Ham United v Chelsea

Tuesday 12 December

West Ham United v Arsenal

Saturday 16 December

Stoke City v West Ham United

Saturday 23 December

West Ham United v Newcastle United

Tuesday 26 December

AFC Bournemouth v West Ham United

Saturday 30 December

Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham United

Monday 1 January

West Ham United v West Bromwich Albion

Saturday 13 January

Huddersfield Town v West Ham United

Saturday 20 January

West Ham United v AFC Bournemouth

Tuesday 30 January

West Ham United v Crystal Palace

Saturday 3 February

Brighton & Hove Albion v West Ham United

Saturday 10 February

West Ham United v Watford

Saturday 24 February

Liverpool v West Ham United

Saturday 3 March

Swansea City v West Ham United

Saturday 10 March

West Ham United v Burnley

Saturday 17 March

West Ham United v Manchester United

Saturday 31 March

Southampton v West Ham United

Saturday 7 April

Chelsea v West Ham United

Saturday 14 April

West Ham United v Stoke City

Saturday 21 April

Arsenal v West Ham United

Saturday 28 April

West Ham United v Manchester City

Saturday 5 May

Leicester City v West Ham United

Sunday 13 May

West Ham United v Everton