The Fixture Computer has completed its complex computations, the lights have stopped flashing, all whirring and clicking has ceased and floppy disks have been dispatched to the anxiously waiting media.
True to form, West Ham have been scheduled to play every other team in the league two times during the season but despite this certainty there is plenty of opportunity to agonise over the order of games.
The season kicks-off on 12 August (TV schedules permitting) with a visit to the Theatre of Defeats where Jose will be unveiling several hundred millions of new talent. The following weekend is meant to be a home game against Southampton but as the retractable seating will yet to have been bolted back together after the World Athletics Championships then this match will need to be rescheduled; I assume by swapping it with the Saints away fixture in March 2018.
The first game at the London Stadium will be against relegation fodder, Huddersfield Town on September 9 while they are still in the Premier League honeymoon period of insane effort and optimism. At least the transfer window will have finished by then and all the last minute loans will be in place. A good start to the season is always welcome as it serves to relieve any early pressure or uncertainty but it would be a surprise to earn such a luxury this coming season. Still there is always the odd early season surprise.
Injuries, suspensions, fixture congestion, cup runs and loss of form are all more likely to impact the progress of the season than the order in which the games are played. Nevertheless, if we do experience a repeat of last season’s poor performances the run-in is not the one you would have chosen; featuring as it does four of the big six (plus Everton) in the last eight games. Fingers crossed that we have accumulated forty points by Easter.
To date it remains pretty much as you were at West Ham and at this stage the Hammers must be regarded as at least a metaphorical twenty points behind in the polls. Never say never, though, and all that is required are inspired signings, better tactics, sharper training, improved fitness and a more objective approach to team selection and we could end up as contenders.
The fixtures in full:
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Saturday 12 August |
Manchester United v West Ham United |
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Saturday 19 August |
West Ham United v Southampton |
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Saturday 26 August |
Newcastle United v West Ham United |
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Saturday 9 September |
West Ham United v Huddersfield Town |
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Saturday 16 September |
West Bromwich Albion v West Ham United |
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Saturday 23 September |
West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur |
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Saturday 30 September |
West Ham United v Swansea City |
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Saturday 14 October |
Burnley v West Ham United |
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Saturday 21 October |
West Ham United v Brighton & Hove Albion |
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Saturday 28 October |
Crystal Palace v West Ham United |
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Saturday 4 November |
West Ham United v Liverpool |
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Saturday 18 November |
Watford v West Ham United |
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Saturday 25 November |
West Ham United v Leicester City |
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Wednesday 29 November |
Everton v West Ham United |
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Saturday 2 December |
Manchester City v West Ham United |
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Saturday 9 December |
West Ham United v Chelsea |
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Tuesday 12 December |
West Ham United v Arsenal |
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Saturday 16 December |
Stoke City v West Ham United |
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Saturday 23 December |
West Ham United v Newcastle United |
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Tuesday 26 December |
AFC Bournemouth v West Ham United |
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Saturday 30 December |
Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham United |
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Monday 1 January |
West Ham United v West Bromwich Albion |
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Saturday 13 January |
Huddersfield Town v West Ham United |
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Saturday 20 January |
West Ham United v AFC Bournemouth |
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Tuesday 30 January |
West Ham United v Crystal Palace |
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Saturday 3 February |
Brighton & Hove Albion v West Ham United |
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Saturday 10 February |
West Ham United v Watford |
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Saturday 24 February |
Liverpool v West Ham United |
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Saturday 3 March |
Swansea City v West Ham United |
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Saturday 10 March |
West Ham United v Burnley |
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Saturday 17 March |
West Ham United v Manchester United |
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Saturday 31 March |
Southampton v West Ham United |
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Saturday 7 April |
Chelsea v West Ham United |
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Saturday 14 April |
West Ham United v Stoke City |
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Saturday 21 April |
Arsenal v West Ham United |
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Saturday 28 April |
West Ham United v Manchester City |
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Saturday 5 May |
Leicester City v West Ham United |
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Sunday 13 May |
West Ham United v Everton |
Under The Hammers 