Tag: #WHUFC

West Ham Briefing: Unwelcome Christmas Cards, Bowen’s Milestone, and a Surge Up The Premier League Table

West Ham avoid a second instalment of new manager bounce as Jarrod Bowen’s instinctive goal is enough to see them past basement dwelling Southampton in an unconvincing encounter at St Mary’s Stadium

At the end of the day, it is a time of year when cliches, like football matches, come thick and fast. The Boxing Day clash at St Mary’s was the proverbial game of two halves. Following Carlos Soler’s point-blank miss-of-the-match, West Ham rode their good fortune and had Southampton’s poor finishing to thank for keeping the game scoreless at the end of a busy first period. Incontrast, the second 45 minutes was a largely drab and uneventful affair. The single moment of note allowing the Hammers to steal the points through Jarrod Bowen’s opportunism as he was first to react to Niclas Fullkrug’s knock on.

It was Bowen’s fifth Premier League goal of the season, his 100th career league goal in total, and his 48th in the top flight for West Ham. He has overtaken both Paolo Di Canio and Mark Noble and is now second only to Michail Antonio on 68 goals. A fine achievement but a comparatively modest return compared to the leading scorers at other established clubs – and well behind legendary West Ham poachers of yesteryear such as Watson, Hurst, Ruffell, Dick and Cottee.

The win saw West Ham temporarily vacate the cosy familiarity of 14th place when they climbed above Manchester United who lost a few hours later at Wolverhampton. An indication of the congestion in the league’s middle reaches is that the result puts the Hammers just six points shy of European qualification and only five behind the Champions. If there was any sense of momentum building on the pitch, then we could almost believe there was something to play for. In all likelihood, it will be back to 14th soon enough.

Southampton certainly offered a sterner test than they had under Russel Martin, even if the improvement wasn’t enough to constitute a new manager bounce for Ivan Juric. Surely, survival for the Saints is already a lost cause. Juric is the fourth new managerial appointment of the Premier League season. Strangely, no-one has yet seen fit to call on the services of the serial winning Scottish manager. So far, the only managerial bouncing on show has been at Wolves under Vitor Pereira. The one-time West Ham target Amorim continues to struggle at Old Trafford as does van Nistelrooy at Leicester.

Any thoughts of a new manager bounce at the London Stadium have been long consigned to history. The 2024/25 vintage West Ham have been seeing more of the ball, but it manifests itself as a defensive (rather than offensive) strategy. Keeping possession in safe areas as a means of limiting opposition attacks. Increased possession has made no impression on the number of touches enjoyed in the opposition box – or on the level of entertainment come to that. Although the number of shots may be higher, these are mainly speculative and from distance.  

Julen Lopetegui’s team selections have become routinely predictable. The only nod towards festive season squad rotation is whether to start with Guido Rodriguez or Edson Alvarez as the holding midfielder in Lopetegui’s increasingly preferred 4-1-4-1 formation. Suspensions being the other major contributing factor in determining starting lineups.

West Ham players were again receiving the wrong type of Christmas cards at St Mary’s Stadium where Rodriguez and Tomas Soucek both reached the five yellow card threshold – emulating Emerson, Soler and Lucas Paqueta – that leads to an automatic one-match ban. It could have been worse for Rodriguez had VAR not seen sense to reverse a red card decision that was as rash and unnecessary as the original challenge.

Personally, I don’t see either Rodriguez or Soucek as any great loss. Soucek, especially is an enigmatic character. Who can doubt his commitment to the cause. But as someone supposedly at the beating heart of midfield, his occasional goal threat does not compensate for the lack of pace, poor pass completion and scarcity of touches. Far too often the game passes him by as he meanders around the pitch like a robotic vacuum cleaner.

Aaron Wan-Bissaka was again the Hammer’s man-of-the-match. Giving lie to the reputation that he offers little going forward, Wan-Bissaka is alone in being able to carry the ball forward and run at pace from deep. Surely, the nomination as Hammer of the Year is already sewn up. Alvarez made a difference when he was introduced and would always get my vote over Rodriguez or Soucek in a holding role. He is the only defensive midfielder prepared to go hunting for the ball.

Elsewhere, Mohammed Kudus had possibly his most ineffective game in a West Ham shirt. His normally reliable instant control deserting him, he was rarely able to escape the close attention of his marker. We saw a few more glimpses of what Fullkrug might offer as an old-style target man. It’s not what is needed though and there are no midfield runners to feed off him anyway. He did, at least, pick up an assist.   

The last 15 or 20 minutes of modern games are rapidly truning into a staccato version of musical substitutes. If Lopetegui has any carefully thought-out plan at the start of games, it is all thrown into the air oncehe has introduced a succession of full backs oblivious to where they are meant to be playing. By the end of yesterdays game, 4-1-4-1 had morphed into 7-0-3.

Soucek and Rodriguez will likely be joined on the sidelines for Sunday’s clash with Liverpool by Lukasz Fabianski (following his nasty concussion), Max Killman (injured shoulder) and Carlos Soler (unspecified knee injury). The game will represent the halfway point of the season. West Ham will have then played each of other sides one time. Faced six of the current top ten at home, and four of them away. Projecting the current points per game forward would see us end the season with 48 points, fewer than last year but better than the year before that.

It would take a brave man to bet on the Hammers four game unbeaten run continuing when the runaway leaders come to town for the final game of 2024. West Ham’s leaky defence against the rampant, free-scoring Reds threatens to be the greatest massacre since they started selling chainsaws in Texas. Probably not be a game for the faint hearted. COYI

A review of the Brighton game, and a preview of West Ham’s visit to Southampton on Boxing Day

And so we continue in a league of our own,
Fourteenth is our place, for that we are known,
In thirteen of seventeen that’s where we’ve stayed,
And a draw against Brighton was just what we played.

Eight games at home we couldn’t defeat ‘em,
Wouldn’t it be good if we could just beat ‘em.
Fourteenth in goals scored another statistic,
Without many forwards I’m not optimistic,

Next up Southampton back to the South Coast,
Look at their team, we should have them on toast,
Boxing Day games after a big Christmas dinner,
Let’s hope we can win, who might score the winner?

They have a new manager, Juric his name,
They talk of a bounce in his very first game,
Sacked three times in two years then hired by Torino,
A short spell at Roma then sacked like Mourinho.

We both love the Hammers although we’re not leaders,
We wish a great Christmas to all of our readers,
From Rich and Geoff, we’ll be writing more soon,
Two more wins this year we’ll be over the moon.

It may not happen, it’s not worth a bet,
With West Ham you never know quite what you’ll get,
But let’s have a good run to bring us some cheer,
Good football, some wins, and a Happy New Year!

West Ham Briefing: A Claret and Blue Christmas, Lop Actually, and Will The Saints Nick It on Boxing Day

After a mostly flat draw with Brighton on Saturday, West Ham return to the south coast to face basement dwellers Southampton in a Boxing Day clash. Will it be a Last Christmas for Julen Lopetegui?

West Ham continue to be in a league of their own as they consolidated their hold on the Premier League’s 14th place – their home for 13 of the season’s 17 weeks to date – with an uninspiring draw against Brighton and Hove Albion. The stalemate extending the Hammer’s winless home run against the Seagulls to eight games.

If there was a sense of watching claret and blue paint drying at the London Stadium, a far glossier finish was on display from our chromatic cousins in the earlier TV game from Villa Park. It took my mind back to the last match of the 2019/20 Covid affected season when the Villains snatched the point required to secure their top flight status.

West Ham enjoyed two of their better Premier League finishes in the subsequent two seasons while Villa floundered first under Dean Smith and then Steven Gerrard. Both clubs started the 2022/ 23 season poorly and while the Hammer’s Board stayed loyal to their Scottish manager, the Midlanders replaced Gerrard by buying Unai Emery out of his contract at Villarreal. They haven’t looked back since. Qualifying for the Champions League last season and playing football as if they enjoy it. They have a good blend of youth and experience, have recruited well from the lower leagues, and have pace, power, and energy throughout their side. They can even choose between TWO top class strikers instead of none.

Emery and Julen Lopetegui are often mentioned in the same breath, probably because both are Basques; and because both previously managed at Sevilla. In reality, Emery’s record is a far superior one, having won three Europa League titles at Sevilla (to Lopetegui’s one) as well as honours at PSG and Villarreal. Appointing Emery has been the sliding doors moment between the two clubs.

Some might argue that Lopetegui simply needs more time to get to grips with all new arrivals into the squad and instil his ideas into a playing style that had stagnated over the preceding few seasons. It is true enough that the squad composition had drifted into a dreadful state under the previous leadership – both in terms of age and depth of ability. But summer recruitment failed to address many of the issues that had arisen, and despite significant spend, West Ham remain the second oldest team in the league – and quite possibly the slowest.

It is fair to acknowledge that there has been a shift in playing style, even if it is subtle up to this point. Possession and passing statistics have improved and we are ranked as high as 5th in terms of number of shots taken. Conversely, we are also placed even higher (4th) on number of shots conceded. More possession has not turned into dominating games. We are joint 14th for goals scored where the greatest threat is counter attacking that rely on moments of individual brilliance from Jarrod Bowen and Mohammed Kudus or set pieces. Otherwise, there is precious little penetration and too few players getting in the box. At the other end, we are 6th worst for goals conceded where opponents routinely have free rein to slice through the porous centre of our defences. Performances have the hallmarks of a lower mid-table and without drastic action to address the problems at striker and in the heart of midfield, it is where we will remain.

The January transfer window is not a time for wholesale reconstruction and often passes at West Ham with no activity at all. That being the case, the coach must find a system that suits the resources at his disposal and give up on his fixation of square pegs in round holes. Or the club must find a coach who is able to do that and then embark on strategy of building for the future in the summer. As things stand, it is a club going nowhere – slowly.

Saturday’s game was another that failed to live up to the hype of ‘best league in the world.’ West Ham laboured and Brighton were more reminiscent of Potter’s ‘all sizzle and no sausage’ offering than De Zerbi’s more enterprising style. A soporific first-half livened up in the second period courtesy of two goals in eight minutes, but still fell short of top-level entertainment. Another raft of odd substitutions by Lopetegui left his side with a huge gap between the front three and defensive five. Hoping for any semblance of creativity or guile from Tomas Soucek and Guido Rodriguez was the height of optimism.

In the closing minutes only one team were looking to win the game – and it wasn’t West Ham. Lukasz Fabianski who had been badly at fault for the Brighton opener partly redeemed himself with a slew of smart saves.

The Hammers Roadshow moves on to rock bottom Southampton on Boxing Day. Once again, they will be facing a struggling side with a new manager in place for his first game. What could possibly go wrong? The Saints stopped the rot with a scoreless draw at Fulham yesterday and we all know what the scriptwriters have in mind for the West Ham visit. Already, I can feel in it my fingers, and in my toes. Lop is all around me, and so that feeling grows.

Ivan Juric is an interesting appointment for Southampton. Sacked three times in two years by Genoa, followed by a decent but unremarkable three year spell at Torino, then dismissed after 12 games by Roma. At least no compensation was involved.

All that remains is to wish everybody a very Merry Christmas. May all your dreams be found wrapped and ready under the tree. COYI!

A review of West Ham’s visit to Bournemouth, a preview of the Brighton game, and a tribute to Jarrod Bowen, via Rudyard Kipling.

If we’d been offered a point on the day,
At the Vitality we’d nod and we’d say
“Gladly yes”, but we didn’t forsee
How close we came to getting three.

Frustrating it was, we led so late,
But a sloppy free kick then sealed our fate,
The wall stood tall, we knew the drill,
A draw was deserved, for home fans a thrill.

Bournemouth’s shots twenty-nine in all,
Only nine on target that I can recall,
The first half was goalless, frantic and fast,
We matched them at first but how might it last?

A controversial call, we cared not a jot,
As up stepped Paqueta and scored from the spot.
A few moments later the Hammers undone,
Enes Umal’s free kick and the score was one-one.

Lopetegui’s tactics – he asks for more time,
We saw some improvement, but we need to climb,
We’re stuck down at fourteenth, a pretty poor show,
We’ve let in too many, our midfield’s too slow.

On Saturday it’s Brighton; so is it a sin
To hope for three points and pick up a win?
But one win from fourteen, just one that’s right,
At the Amex last season a 3-1 delight.

Seven games at home, top-flight pickings are thin,
We’ve lost two and drawn five but never a win.
But go back twelve years when second tier still,
A great Vaz Te hat trick, we beat them six-nil!

The Seagulls in London, ten winless they find,
The losses and draws must be haunting their mind,
Our recent home form has been on the rise,
Ten points from five is a pleasant surprise.

When Brighton face battles against top half foes,
With five wins in nine their confidence grows,
But with teams near the bottom they falter and strain,
Just one win in seven in a season’s refrain.

When taking set pieces we used to be best,
We still have the tools to make it a test,
Kudus with dribbling can dazzle and gleam,
Bowen’s goals and assists are great for the team.

A Premier clash under a Saturday sky,
Can we win, and go to Christmas on high?
I just have a feeling we’ll win this for sure,
Brighton may score but we’ll score one more.

I wonder if you know the old joke from Donald McGill, famous for his saucy seaside postcards –
“Do you like Kipling?”
“I don’t know I’ve never kippled”.
Rudyard Kipling was an English writer of the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, noted of course for writing amongst many great works The Jungle Book and his poem If. The following is in the style of the latter. So with apologies to Mr Kipling (no, not the one who makes exceedingly good cakes …..) here is a poem to resemble his famous poem If as a tribute to Jarrod Bowen.

If you can keep the ball when all about you
Are losing it, can’t blame it on you;
If you believe in yourself when England managers doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can pass and dribble and not be phased by tackles,
Or keep the ball and ignore the cries;
Or shoot on sight and resist the shackles,
And look so good to everyone’s eyes;
If you can dribble – and not make dribbling your master;
If you can bring others into the game;
If when you lose it’s not a disaster,
But winning the game is your ultimate aim;
If you entertain the fans and play so clever,
Up front, out wide, whatever your role,
Play consistently, be as good as ever,
Win a European trophy with the winning goal.
If you thread it through to make a chance,
Or cross it onto someone’s head,
Or pass to a team mate without a glance,
Or take it on and shoot instead.
If you stay for some time the fans will adore you,
And play like legends of the past have done,
Moore, Bonds, Brooking, Di Canio too,
And what’s more Jarrod Bowen, you’ll be a star my son.

Seasons greetings! Richard.

Hammers Briefing: Christmas Seaside Shuffle, Late Drama and A Lost Season

Limping Around the Christmas Tree, Have A Loppy Holiday. West Ham stumble along from week to week like a drifter with no identity. A good point at Bournemouth but little of note to look forward to.

West Ham kicked off their three match seaside shuffle by sharing the points in an entertaining Monday night encounter at Bournemouth’s Vitality Stadium. After that, their south coast adventures continue by hosting the Seagulls of Brighton in a rare Saturday 3 PM start before travelling back down to Southampton on Boxing Day.

Although the Christmas programme is nowhere near as congested as it once was, the Hammers still face eight games between now and the end of January 2025. As we are routinely reminded the games come ‘thick and fast‘ – certainly thick in West Ham’s case if not always fast. There’s not even time to fit in an international break.

The final match of 2024 will be a visit to Anfield on 29 December where West Ham will be seeking to avoid setting a new Premier League for the most goals conceded in any calendar year. The current record, set by Newcastle in 2021, stands at 80 goals – West Ham have conceded 73 so far with those three games remaining. Looks touch and go given past performances against Liverpool.

The point gained at Bournemouth provided few clues on the future of Julen Lopetegui and the latest ‘three games to save his job’ cliffhanger. A quick look at the bottom of the league table suggests that, unless something drastic happens, the survival threshold this season will be be well below the magical 40 points – maybe even as low as 30 to 32. With West Ham having already scrambled 19 points, the likelihood of getting dragged into the mire of a relegation battle is extremely remote.

Perhaps a different record for the club to target is for the most consecutive weeks spent in the same league position. Having moved into 14th on 2 November they have become so settled that they might be planning to give the place a lick of paint and replace the curtains. What are the chances of staying put right until the end of the season?  Limping along to reach a disappointing on-target total of 45 points by the end of May.

It feels increasingly likely that Loppy will see out the rest of the season. I don’t suppose the Board are happy with their return on investment, but they appear not to look too far beyond preserving Premier League status in any given season. Why pay out more compensation than you need in the circumstances?That an underwhelming bottom half finish might lead to an exodus of any players who are frustrated by the club’s apparent lack of ambition is a problem for another day – and a boost to the summer revenues. Is it not now time for the UK’s new head postman, Daniel Kretinsky, to deliver at the London Stadium?

West Ham’s performance at Bournemouth was arguably one of their better efforts of 2024/25. For long periods in the first half there was a distinct impression of a slick one-touch passing team revelling in the possession they were allowed to enjoy. It was a call back to the Newcastle display, demonstrating that when given time and space the Hammer’s do have it in them to play attractive football. Unable to turn that dominance into advantage, an open and entertaining half remained goalless at the break.

The second-half took on a very different complexion as Bournemouth came out with far greater purpose and energy. Whether they were weighed down by too many half-time hobnobs or bemused by the half-time team talk, the visitors were soon on the back foot and a succession of smart saves by Lukasz Fabianski were needed in the opening five minutes to keep the scores level. With space now at a premium, West Ham struggled to get their passes together.

The game looked to be heading to a scoreless draw as it entered the final minutes. Lopetegui had made some of the strangest substitutions since Tesco sent me a can of peaches in place of a frozen pizza. The result was an assortment of eleven players (including three full backs) with no apparent formation looking uncertain as to what they were supposed to do. There was some logic to replacing Carlos Soler and Edson Alvarez with both players on yellow cards, but not Mohammed Kudus who had been the main attacking outlet and is always a potential source of inspiration. There was encouragement in seeing a couple of youth players finally make it onto the pitch, even if Kaelan Casey’s introduction was purely symbolic in order to waste a few more added time minutes. Oliver Scarles had a mixed Premier League debut, looking nervous in defence but putting in one delightful cross towards the far post.

While most of us were holding heads in hands when Niclas Fullkrug’s point blank header hit the Cherries goalkeeper, good old VAR was busy checking the potential handball that would lead to a West Ham penalty. Should it have been a penalty? If the rules were applied according to common sense, probably not. But under the current interpretation determined by the wise men of PGMOL then not awarding it would have been inconsistent. The priorities of PGMOL have long been a mystery to the average football supporter. More than happy with the growing trend of handing out meaningless cards to managers and coaches but making no attempt to address the blatant cheating and play acting that blights the game such as Kyle Walker’s exaggerated collapse in the Manchester derby.

I am always a little nervous with Lucas Paqueta’s penalty technique, but the kick was accomplished with aplomb. And interesting to see him make a beeline for Lopetegui to celebrate. All that was now required was to hold out for a further three minutes plus stoppage time and three points would be added to the stick of seaside rock for the journey back to London. Sadly, it was not to be, and Bournemouth conjured up a deserved equaliser in the time remaining.

It has become customary for some supporters to blame Dinos Mavripanos for every goal West Ham concede. Granted it was an unnecessary challenge to make in the circumstances but is the type that defenders make multiple times during a game. The resulting free kick was well (rather than spectacularly) struck by Unal, but Fabianski’s positioning had provided an open invitation to aim anywhere in that area of the net. In the end, a fair result.

Next up is the visit of Brighton on Saturday. One of the league’s form teams a few weeks back, the Seagull’s fortunes have dropped off in recent weeks and are without a win in four. They are unbeaten in seven Premier League encounters at the London Stadium having earned two wins and five draws. Adding one more to the draw tally would be no surprise.

Frankly, it’s all rather depressing to believe that a season that is not yet half completed offers so little in terms of hope. Oh well, it is a cross all West Ham fans must bear. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. COYI (or Allez les fers!)

Reasons To Do Nothing, Part 3: West Ham Win Against Wolves Gives Lopetegui Short Term Reprieve In Sack Race

West Ham are pleased to announce that the next game in the ‘one game to save his job’ series is scheduled for Boxing Day at St Marys Stadium, Southampton

Has there ever been a game, I wonder, where both managers have ended up losing their jobs after the final whistle? On the evidence of the first half, it wasn’t the most unlikely of outcomes as two extremely mediocre sides, who had conceded 63 goals between them so far this season, endeavoured to prioritise caution above enterprise.

The second half was thankfully more entertaining with three goals scored over eighteen frenetic minutes and various other incidents requiring the powers of VAR to intervene. Mohammed Kudus was so clearly offside for his disallowed goal that it is a mystery why the decision to derail his elaborate celebration took so long. As for the two Wolves penalty appeals, they could have gone either way – once again demonstrating the rather arbitrary nature of these rulings. The degree of contact, where it first took place, and whether it did or didn’t continue into the area must now all be taken into account when arriving at a split-second decision. Both were cases where the on-field decision was unlikely to be reversed no matter what. O’Neil seethed; Loppy was relieved!

The narrow Hammer’s win allows the can to be kicked a little further down the road before a decision is needed on Julen Lopetegui’s future. In times like these the Chairman likes nothing better than doing nothing. With each passing week the compensation for the Head Coach and his entourage reduces incrementally, and the list of potential replacements gets progressively longer – until they get snapped up by clubs more willing to pull the trigger. The view from the Boardroom is not of a team hovering just outside the relegation places, but one competing in an enthralling lower table mini league with the heavyweights from Tottenham, Newcastle and Manchester United. Let’s carry on limping along for now until the next “one match to save his job” event is scheduled against Southampton on Boxing Day.

There are, of course, significant financial consequence of jettisoning a coach or manager early in his contract and/ or buying another out of his contract at their exising. The costs involved must be accounted for under Profit and Sustainability Rules and will impact the amount available to spend in future transfer windows. It is said to have cost Manchester United £21m to ditch Ten Hag and recruit Amorim. A rounding error for the Red Devils but far more substantial for a club like West Ham with significantly lower revenues.   

Aside from the financial hit, the Board are no doubt reluctant to admit to making a mistake in appointing Lopetegui in the first place. Many supporters regarded it as an uninspiring choice at the outset. Arguably better than what we had, but never the right man for the job of building for the future. It is yet another example of a club without the vision or understanding of what it takes to compete regularly in the financially skewed modern game. Muddling through from one season to the next with no strategy for smart recruitment or youth development is doomed to disappoint. It has been the trademark of the entire 15-year Sullivan/ Gold/ Brady era. And who trusts the current board to make a sensible or enlightened choice when Lopetegui is eventually replaced?  

Monday Night football was once a highlight of the televised football week. But with more games now shown live and midweek action dominated by European competition, the Monday slot has become an anachronistic scheduling quirk. An opportunity to fill quotas by showing less glamorous sides compete in meaningless contests. A sign of the times that the Hammers will have been shunted to the Monday graveyard slot for three consecutive broadcasts. Given the late kick-off time and the number of added minutes that is now the norm, it is a wonder that anyone manages to get home afterwards.

Lopetegui made two changes to the side starting in the 3-1 defeat to Leicester. Emerson replaced Vladimir Coufal at full back and Crysencio Summerville came in for Danny Ings. The enforced absence of Michail Antoinio following his shocking road traffic accident is a huge blow to West Ham’s striking options and surely must be addressed in the January transfer window. It is difficult to imagine ever seeing Antonio in a West Ham shirt again and we wish him well in his lengthy recovery. He has been one the Hammer’s better signings of recent years, and his level of effort and commitment has never been in doubt.

The latest midfield ensemble of Tomas Soucek, Edson Alvarez and Carlos Soler failed to stamp their authority on thegame. Soucek continues to be an enigma. Playing in a more forward role, the game largely passed him by in open play with his lack of pace and mobility all too apparent. But then, up he pops to open the scoring with a looping header from Bowen’s corner. If that is typical of Wolves sleepy defending, it is no wonder they have shipped so many goals this season.

West Ham were once a team feared for their set piece prowess, but now it is only Soucek who presents an aerial threat. Although the benign floaty corners that have become the norm rarely trouble opposition defences, the current crop of centre backs appear reluctant to attack the ball in the style that endeared Craig Dawson to our hearts.

The Wolves equaliser and Jarrod Bowen’s winner were well taken goals even if you might question the effectiveness and quality of the defending for both. Bowen and Soucek remain neck and neck as the Hammers top scorers this season with four goals apiece.

Lopetegui’s obsession with always using his entire allocation of substitutes made for a very nervy end to the game. Replacing the pace of Summerville and Kudus with older, slower models gave his side few outlets for keeping possession during the 8+ minutes of added time. For the record, the average age of the 11 West Ham players on the field at the end was 29 years and 340 days.

Next up for West Ham is a trip to Bournemouth’s Vitality Stadium next Monday evening. The Cherries have moved up to 8th, with a six-point advantage over the Hammers following a run of three consecutive victories. It came as a surprise when Gary O’Neil was replaced by the relatively unknown Andoni Iraola at Bournemouth but it has proven to be a masterful move.

When West Ham beat AZ  Alkmaar in the 2023 Conference League semi-final I suggested they should make a move for their Hungarian international defender, Milos Kerkez. Instead, he signed for Bournemouth and has become one of the best left-backs in the country – apparently attracting interest from Real Madrid. The type of in-your-face opportunity that our scouting regularly overlooks.

I am always pleased to see West Ham win, but it is frustrating to see our great club devoid of identity and direction. It is fairly obvious that nothing much can ever change under the current ownership while they continue to meddle in matters on the footballing side of the club that they don’t understand. Will we ever see a better time, when all our dreams come true? Or is that simply a Fairytale of Stratford? COYI!

West Ham face Wolves on Monday night. A six pointer this early in the season? We recap the season to date in rhyme.

On a summer’s day in August the new season began,
At home to Aston Villa, on the bench was Jhon Duran,
It only took four minutes, Onana with his head,
A simple goal it looked so easy and now the Villa led.

Then Soucek fouled by Matty Cash in the area, what fun,
Paqueta took the penalty to make the score one-one.
The second half on came the sub – Duran was his name,
You know the rest, a twist of fate, and Villa won the game.

So on we went to Selhurst Park to visit the Eagles nest,
Last time we conceded five so this would be a test,
Would we lose to Palace again? I’ll put your mind at rest,
Soucek and Bowen both scored, we won 2-0 you guessed.

The EFL Cup was next, two teams were evenly matched,
Bowen’s late handball goal was scored, the Cherries were dispatched.

August ended when City came, 1-0 when Haaland struck,
Then Bowen crossed, Dias deflected, the Hammers were in luck.
But you can guess what happened next, Haaland having fun,
Two more goals against us, and City won 3-1.

The international break came next, and then to London West,
To Craven Cottage off we went to face another test,
Jimenez put the hosts one up – it looked like we were done,
But Ings popped up on 95, to make the score one-one.

The London Stadium next, Chelsea came across the town,
Before we blinked Jackson scored two and we were looking down,
Palmer scored another, we needed General Custer,
We lost again, 3-0 it was, the performance was lacklustre.

Off to Anfield next, the EFL cup next round,
We took the lead on 21, were we Wembley bound?
3-1 down by half time, who was there to blame?
By the end it climbed to five to add to West Ham’s shame.

The GTech was next – Brentford then beckons,
Mbuemo scored first in just 40 seconds,
Soucek struck next to bring hope anew,
But a draw was all the Hammers could do.

October came next ‘twas Ipswich I hear,
Antonio in one, oh how we did cheer,
Delap replied to make it one-one,
We then scored three more to bring us some fun.

Next to North London, once White Hart Lane,
They built a new stadium and then changed the name,
Kudus scored first, then they netted four,
Then he got sent off, three Spurs on the floor.

Then Manchester United, much to our delight,
When Summerville scored, a new shining light,
A VAR penalty, who saw it? No-one?
Bowen converted and we won two-one.

Then on to the Forest, a header Chris Wood,
Alvarez sent off – he was up to no good,
Two more for Forest it was now all uphill,
And when it had ended we’d lost it three-nil

And next came the Toffees and no-one could score,
The game ended goalless, a real dreary bore,
The fans were cheesed off, and how they did whine,
The players were booed off at half and full time.

St James Park the venue for West Ham’s next game,
We didn’t expect much, just more of the same,
Soukek’s header, Wan-Bissaka’s rebound,
It came as a shock to win on their ground.

Was this a new dawn? Arsenal was next,
But four goals in no time to stray from the text,
Wan-Bissaka again, and Emerson’s free kick,
But we lost 5-2, were they taking the mick?

And then on to Leicester, we should have done better,
He changed round the team, and left out Paqueta,
31 shots, but still we were done,
Vardy scored early and we lost 3-1.

And next up come Wolves, Matchday 15 already,
We need someone new to come in and steady,
We’re down in fourteenth, 15 points to our name,
We should really be higher, who can we blame?

Wolves even lower, what do they lack?
They face relegation, they need to bounce back,
We’re both down the bottom, which one will crack?
Two bosses in trouble and facing the sack.

(They say) Fools Rush In where angels fear to tread,
A new head coach came – he’s in way above his head,
What next for West Ham to end all our troubles?
We’ll find out real soon and start blowing bubbles.

We all love our team but they do make us fret,
With West Ham you never know quite what you’ll get,
We need to get better, start playing like lions,
With the fans all behind us, come on you irons!

West Ham’s Tale Of Three Corners: One Unturned and Two Undefended

Rumours of a West Ham revival under Julen Lopetegui were mercilessly squashed in a dismal first half showing against Arsenal at the London Stadium on Saturday evening

Expectations prior to Saturday’s London derby with Arsenal were less about possible victory as putting in a performance that would demonstrate Monday’s victory at Newcastle was no fluke. A sign to unconvinced supporters that the Lopetegui revolution had finally discoverd traction and a direction of travel. We were to be sadly disappointed.

Tentative and unconvincing from the start, it was if coach and players had written the game off before a ball had even been kicked. A gut had been busted at St James Park and a more winnable appointment was scheduled for Tuesday evening at the King Power Stadium. Let’s just go through the motions today, then! It’s a strategy that might suit a newly promoted team focused solely on survival – but don’t we deserve better than that?

A case could be made for calling out the decisions made by referee Anthony Taylor that resulted in three of the Arsenal goals. And that is what Lopetegui resorted to. But it was nothing more than an attempt to deflect attention from what looked to be poor preparation and ineffective tactics. The promising foundations established at Newcastle crumbling on their first encounter with a determined and energetic opponent.

Nowhere were the shortcomings more evident than in midfield where the new partnership of Tomas Soucek, Lucas Paqueta and Carlos Soler failed to exert any of the composure tht had been exhibited the previous Monday. Control was meekly surrendered to the strength, skill and tenacity of Odegaard, Rice and Jorginho. Soucek huffed and puffed but was slow, lost and lumbering; while Paqueta served up one of his frustratingly casual displays that verge on the cusp of liability. Soler was the brightest of the three – and what a stunning pass it was to set up Aaron Wan-Bissaka for the first West Ham goal – but was deployed too far forward to stamp any authority on the game. Collectively, they failed to compete, unable to provide a platform for retaining possession or building forward momentum -especially during that woeful opening 36 minutes.

Some observers saw a sliver of positivity from the more even exchanges of the second period. The introduction of Edson Alvarez certainly added spark to the midfield but doing so at the expense of Crysencio Summerville was a damage limiting call rather than a brave one. Although Alavrez may well have made a difference had he started, would he have made it to half-time given his love of the rash callenge and the ease and drama with which Arsenal players fall to the ground?  

They say that football is a game of opinions and that is increasingly becoming the norm for refereeing decisions. At one time a push in the back was an obvious offence but now it is down to the official’s calculation as to the degree of force exerted. The shove on Paqueta by Timber for the visitor’s opening goal was overlooked by the referee and VAR declined to enter the debate. Likewise, penalty decisions have become increasingly subjective and impossible to judge – harsh say the Hammers; stonewall say the Gunners – as matches become more concerened with generating content for post-match analysis than for the beauty of the game itself. The new directive for VAR to defer increasingly to on-field decisions makes one wonder what purpose it is now serving.

Arsenal’s corner tactics would have made Don Revie a proud man. As would the way the Gunner’s have embraced the cynical dark arts of diving, cheating and time-wasting. Arteta comes across as a deeply unlikeable character and he has successfully created a team in his own image. Still, in the world of win-at-all-costs football it has helped them get results. As long as they continue to be runners-up, let them get on with it.

Lukasz Fabianski is far from the ideal candidate to cope with the agricultural Arsenal corner routine. A far more commanding keeper is required, and it is a position that West Ham must address sooner rather than later. The Hammers have long been suckered by opponents attempting overloads at set pieces with several Brentford reverses springing to mind. Ultimately, the Set Piece Defensive coaches (if there is such a thing) up and down the land must find a way of coming to terms with the tactic. Possibly finding a way to avoid adding to the general confusion and congestion by defending zonally or building a wall at the back post to block the runners. It was a mystery what Max Kilman’s role was supposed to be when Gabriel headed in the opener – but apparently it had been practised on the training ground.

The Lopetegui circus now moves on to Leicester tomorrow night for what some have billed as another ‘must win’ game. The Foxes were abysmal in their defeat to Brentford on Saturday but will have new manager, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, in the dugout for Tuesday’s game. If the Hammers are to resist the new manager bounce, they will need to wake their ideas up sharpish. Vardy’s eyes will have lit up watching the Havertz goal at the weekend and it will not have escaped his attention that Kilman and Jean-Claire Todibo have been consistently vulnerable to the simple ball over the top.

Something else to watch out for tonight is the FA Cup Third Round draw. West Ham are ball number 43 and will be hoping to avoid the traditional poisoned chalice of a trip to Manchester or Liverpool. I must add a ‘very well done’ to the Daggers for reaching the third round. A trip down the road to Victoria Road would do very nicely. COYI!

A tale of the unexpected – Victory for West Ham in the North-East

Oh West Ham you make us fret,
We never know what we’re gonna get,
At St James’s Park, under a North-East sky,
Playing the Geordies you soared so high.

Oh Hammers bold in claret and blue,
Monday’s triumph still feels brand new,
We saw the game on TV on Sky,
Always play like that? No, but why?

Before the game a sense of dread,
Supporters patience a dwindling thread,
The coach undeterred by doubt or fear,
Unveiled his plan, his vision clear.

The Magpies began with all their might,
But we stood firm, defence was tight,
Soucek’s pinpoint header clean and pure,
We took the lead 1-0 for sure.

3000 were singing the bubbles song,
Wan-Bissaka could do no wrong,
He hit the post, it bounced and spun,
A goal 2-0, the match was won.

From back to front they played their part,
A victory etched in every heart,
In Newcastle’s home we claimed the prize,
A night of glory under North-East skies.

Now bring on the Gunners.

But now the Arsenal lie ahead,
A fierce new battle to be led,
Can the Hammers bring the flair,
And meet the Gunners with skill and dare?

Antonio with your power and speed,
Must breach their defence, to take the lead.
And Tomas Soucek, with all that’s been said,
Please score yet another goal with your head.

Fabianski the keeper you need to excel,
Keep guarding the net like a sentinel,
This season not great, but Monday night better,
Creative and skilful that’s Lucas Paqueta.

Soler you surprised us to answer the riddle
Of just who to pick to play in the middle.
Summerville you play with such skill and such heart,
For me you should always be picked from the start

Max in defence answering the call,
Repelling attacks and standing so tall
And Jarrod you dance with such nimble feet,
Just weave through on goal to complete the defeat.

So take to the pitch and show us the pride,
As London’s east and north sides collide,
We’ll all be watching, we’ll be holding our breath
For ninety plus minutes, it’ll be life or death.

Expecting the Unexpected, Sensible Selections and Turning The Corner: West Ham Win At Newcastle

A surprise win for West Ham at Newcastle provides a boost for Julen Lopetegui in his quest to escape the Premier League sack race. How did it happen and was it anything more than a freak result?

Was this just like watching West Ham of old? A match where only the rosiest of claret and blue tinted spectacle wearers had predicted an away win, while most of us (myself include) could not see past the first of two heavy defeats that were going to put an end to Julen Lopetegui’s short-lived reign at the London Stadium. But just as all hope for something to shout about this season was being abandoned, the Hammers reeled us back in with a commanding display and well-deserved victory at St James Park.

This was no smash and grab raid. Lopetegui’s side had their fair share of possession and, for once, there was a confidence and slickness to the passing that grew as the game progressed – buoyed by the early goal from the head of Tomas Soucek. It was encouraging to see the team refusing to drop into a low block once the lead was secured, and to witness the levels of commitment and effort on show throughout. Any speculation in the media that the proverbial dressing had been lost appeared well wide of the mark based on the evidence of last night’s showing.

There were two things that stood out for me with the team selection and tactics. The first was that (at long last) no-one was being asked to play out of position or in a role that they clearly didn’t understand. No inverted wing back roles for full backs. No defensive midfielder being asked to fall back into a fluid back three. No central midfielder marooned out on the left wing. The second was that populating the centre of midfield with players familiar with controlling and passing the ball contributed massively to overall cohesiveness. A partnership of Lucas Paqueta and Carlos Soler provided far improved ball retention and freed up Soucek to do what he does best – getting in the way (in a good way) in both boxes. I thought much of the criticism directed at Soler had been harsh and premature given the limited minutes played in his preferred position. I have previously suggested that playing more than one of Soucek, Guido Rodriguez and Edson Alvarez in the same midfield would never be a wise move if possession football was the name of the game. On this occasion, Lopetegui got his selections spot on, but one must ask why it took him so long to get there.

There were fine performances throughout the team. Lukasz Fabianski defied the years in goal and showed a surprise gift for passing and dribbling along his goal line, while the defence as a unit was largely solid in earning its second clean sheet in a row. And I have already mentioned how better balanced and flexible the midfield engine room looked – including a tidy cameo from Andy Irving in the last ten minutes. But it was the performances of Michail Antonio and Jarrod Bowen that really stood out on the night.

West Ham were the main beneficiaries of Antonio losing his passport and being unable to travel for Jamaica’s CONCACAF Nations League fixture. The rest appeared to have worked wonders as he worked tirelessly to unsettle a perplexed Newcastle defence until his late replacement by Danny Ings. Bowen was arguably the most effective player on the pitch. He may not be the most obvious of materials for skipper but can certainly lead by example. He popped up all over the pitch, was always available as an outlet from defence and was a constant source of menace in his link-up play with Aaron Wan-Bissaka. The West Ham squad is built for counterattacking and Bowen firing on all cylinders is central to that threat.

It is difficult to know what to make of Newcastle. After a bright start they faded badly. They have a surplus of attacking players who didn’t appear up for it, looked lethargic in midfield and vulnerable in defence when put under pressure. They strike me as a group of individuals without much of a collective ethos. Whether their failure to deliver was down to their own inadequacies or to West Ham’s efforts is debateable. Eddie Howe is another who may be looking over his shoulder at the job centre queue by the end of the season.

The result and performance for West Ham last night inevitably turned to speculation as to whether the legendary corer has been turned or not. As a whole, the performance stands as an outlier in a sequence of otherwise underwhelming and unimaginative showings – and on the back of one of the very worst against Everton two weeks ago. It’s fair to say that if the same effort and endeavour had been shown all season – even if the points tally remained the same – there would have been far fewer calls for Lopetegui to be replaced. Could it be that his methods are finally bearing fruit? Or has he accidentally stumbled upon a style and formation that suits the players and works in the Premier League? He has certainly given himself breathing space and will surely remain in charge at least until to the end of December, with a run of games that reads: Arsenal, Leicester, Wolves, Bournemouth, Brighton and Southampton.

We can now look forward to Saturday’s game against the Gunners with a new found air of confidence. But we’ve all been there many times before, haven’t we? COYI!