Under The Hammers

This Week in Hammer’s History

Frustration for the Boys of 86 but a string of cup memories in the week 13 to 19 March in Hammer’s history.

This Week Hammers History Back in the memorable 1985/86 season West Ham did not play a league game between 2 February and 15 March due to a combination of inclement weather and FA Cup commitments. When league action re-commenced with an away fixture at Highbury, the Hammers were lying in seventh place but had played five games less than leaders Everton and 6 less than second placed Liverpool. It turned out to be a disappointing period for the Boys of 86, however, as in the period of 10 days they had defeated Manchester United in a replayed FA Cup 5^th round tie, were eliminated in a 6^th round match at Sheffield Wednesday just three days later and then lost two league matches on the bounce; away at Arsenal and Aston Villa.

In the Highbury game West Ham dominated much of the game but went behind to a goal scored by Tony Woodcock after an obvious handball. In an attempt to rescue the match Alvin Martin was pushed up front, was booked for a bad foul and then sent off for a spot of fisticuffs with David O’Leary (who escaped punishment) as the game became bad tempered. With no further scoring West Ham lost the game 1-0.

Four days later dreams of the title appeared to have completely evaporated as West Ham were beaten again this time by lowly Aston Villa in a game that ended 2-1 to the home side. Steve Hodge scored both Villa’s goals while a Steve Hunt own goal was all that the Hammers could muster in front of the paltry 11,500 crowd rattling around inside Villa Park.

In European action West Ham travelled to face Lausanne Sports of Switzerland in the 3^rd round 1^st leg of the Cup Winner’s Cup in 1965 but made heavy alpine weather against their Swiss opponents. West Ham took the lead when a goalkeeping error from a Boyce free kick allowed Brain Dear to force the ball home and doubled their lead through a fine Budgie Byrne solo effort. Lausanne pulled one back late on to give them a lifeline for the second leg.

In 1976 West Ham were facing a 2-4 deficit when the second leg tie against Den Haag kicked off. By half time the Hammers were 5-4 to the good on aggregate with goals from Alan Taylor, Frank Lampard and a Billy Bonds penalty. Den Haag pulled one back after the break to set up a nervy last period but with no further goals the tie ended 5-5 with West Ham progressing through to the semi-finals on away goals.

March 1981 witnessed West Ham’s solitary Wembley League Cup final appearance. The Hammers were romping away with the second division at the time but faced a difficult task against league champions Liverpool. In a largely unmemorable game all the action took place in the last few minutes of extra time. With just three minutes to play Alan Kennedy scored (and Clive Thomas allowed) the disputed Sammy Lee offside to put the cup in Liverpool’s hands. With the minutes ticking away West Ham were awarded a free-kick on the edge of the area and a Ray Stewart rocket was brilliant pushed behind by Ray Clemence. From the resulting corner Alvin Martin headed for goal but was denied by the hand of Terry McDermott (not a red card offence back then). Up steps Stewart for a cool-as-you-like equaliser from the penalty spot to take the tie to a replay.

Parkes, Stewart, Lampard, Bonds, Martin, Devonshire, Neighbour, Goddard (Pearson), Cross, Brooking, Pike

In the 2006 path to the FA Cup final it was Sam Allardyce’s Bolton visiting Upton Park for a replayed 5^th round tie. The visitors had the better chances in the game but had gone behind early on when a poor clearance from a Marlon Harewood cross bounced into the net off keeper Jussi Jaaskelainen. Bolton equalised just after the half hour when Kevin Nolan fed namesake Davies to outwit Hammer’s keeper Shaka Hislop from 20 yards. Despite the usual aerial bombardment the Hammers held firm and won the tie in extra time when Harewood turned in Yossi Benayoun’s teasing cross.

Hislop, Scaloni, Ferdinand, Gabbidon, Konchesky, Mullins, Benayoun, Etherington (Zamora), Reo-Coker (Dailly), Ashton (Sheringham) , Harewood

Possibly one of the finest ever West Ham performances was in the FA Cup semi-final against Manchester United on 14 March 1964. The game was played in front of 65,000 on a soggy Hillsborough pitch saw the Hammers face a strong Manchester side that included the famous Best, Law and Charlton triumvirate. A competitive and evenly contested first-half had ended goal-less despite near misses at both ends but two goals by Ronnie Boyce in the first 20 minutes of the second half put West Ham firmly in control. The Red Devils fought back and following a scare where Jim Standen was injured in a collision, Denis Law reduced the arrears firing past the still groggy keeper. With Manchester throwing everything forward for the equaliser West Ham sealed victory, and booked their first final appearance since 1923, when Bobby Moore set up Geoff Hurst to score from an excellent counter attack.

Standen, Bond, Burkett, Bovington, Brown, Moore, Brabrook, Boyce, Byrne, Hurst, Sissons

Bournemouth 3 v 2 West Ham

Consistently inconsistent. Social media goes into overdrive as West Ham once again drop points from a winning position

Bournemouth West Ham Action So that’s it now. Defeat at Bournemouth means we cannot mathematically win the league this season! Seriously though, we can still go down! But we won’t. We are just one of those cluster of teams in mid-table that doesn’t have the capability to challenge the top six, but have just enough to keep clear of the relegation dogfight. I have noticed that this weekend social media has gone into overdrive with so many fans telling us what has gone wrong, why it has gone wrong, and who is to blame, whether it is the board, poor recruitment, the manager, the coaching, the fitness of our players, players playing in wrong positions, the stadium, the size of the pitch, the tactics, poor officials, or whatever. And everybody knows the answer, and so many of the answers are different! And if you disagree with the opinion of the author of a comment then you are an expletive. So many pick the team that they believe should play, and then so many disagree with some of the choices. Who’d be a manager?

With Bournemouth not having won a league game in 2017, and our penchant for helping teams to end bad runs of results, then I always had a suspicion that this might happen. With my optimistic hat on (as always) I didn’t really think that it would, but how many times have we done this? And how many times this season have we dropped points from a winning position? And how many times have we conceded goals in the last few minutes of games this season? And come to that, how often have we started a match, or the second half, slowly, and conceded an early goal? Questions, questions, questions. But what are the answers?

I have been following the team now since 1958, and the one thing that has been consistent in all that time is our inconsistency. You just never know what you are going to get from one season to another, from one game to another, or indeed from the first half to the second half of a game. In 1958-59 following promotion to the top tier (called Division One at the time) we finished sixth and actually led the league at one point. The following season we finished 14^th. In 1961-62, Ron Greenwood’s first full season as manager we finished 8^th. Did we push on from there? I’m afraid not. For the next decade, despite our wealth of talent, including three World Cup winners, we generally finished between midway and the lower reaches of the table, although on more than one occasion we led the league during the season.

By 1970-71 we finished 20^th, just above the relegation places at the time, but two seasons later we ended up 6^th. The following year we were 18^th and several poor seasons followed (from a league perspective) until relegation in 1977-78. We came back up in the early eighties and had some top half finishes most seasons, culminating in the best ever third place in 1985-86. But in the following two seasons we were 15^th and 16^th before relegation the season after. I could go on. It happened under Fenton, Greenwood, Lyall, Bonds, Redknapp, Roeder, Pardew, Curbishley, and Zola. Consistently inconsistent. Our most consistent seasons were under Grant (just one awful year), and Allardyce, who many fans disliked, perhaps because of the consistency? As West Ham fans we are used to inconsistency.

Going back to the game itself, we conceded two penalties, neither of which were scored, so our defeat could potentially have been heavier. Randolph was man of the match according to one report that I read. Three goals conceded is his best performance against Bournemouth, and in five games against them has had to pick the ball out of the net 23 times. But I don’t think he could have done much about the goals that went in. For me, Kouyate is a very strange choice as a right back. He can be quite fast, but only when he gets into his stride. A bit like Usain Bolt really. He might win a race over 100 metres, but would not be ahead after 20. Surely he is a box to box midfield player? Why do we keep a specialised right back on the bench? I’m afraid our manager has a blind spot when it comes to right backs.

Reid and Fonte don’t seem to have gelled as a partnership if you look at the goals conceded, although Reid has put in some good individual performances, and for whatever reason, Cresswell is a shadow of his previous self. Obiang, Lanzini, and Antonio are playing well enough, but many doubts exist amongst fans in recent times regarding Noble, Feghouli, Snodgrass and Ayew, although to be fair to the latter he has shown he can put the ball in the goal in a couple of recent games. Carroll varies from unplayable to playing averagely.

We complained to the officials that one of Bournemouth’s goals followed a handball, although I didn’t see it personally. Conversely, I thought that there might have been a hint of offside (Byram) as he set up Ayew’s equaliser. Surely we could have no complaints about the penalties we gave away? Why do we concede so many? The standard of the two spot kicks was so woeful it is hard to believe that Bournemouth hadn’t missed a single penalty all season.

So I think that the officials and the stadium are off the hook for this defeat, but all other potential reasons are still in play! And by the way, so many TV pundits keep saying that our pitch size is the reason for our poor performances at home and that we should reduce it. Many fans have jumped on this particular bandwagon on social media too. They say it is larger than it needs to be. Some have said that is a ploy by the board to bring it closer to the fans.

It is my understanding (I haven’t measured it personally!) that our pitch is exactly the size of the majority of pitches in the Premier League, that is the exact size as recommended by the Premier League and UEFA, and that all clubs should have a pitch of 105 metres x 68 metres unless the confines of the stadium do not allow it. We are not allowed to reduce the size, unless it is structurally impossible to meet the standard requirements! Incidentally, Upton Park was the same width but 4.5 metres shorter.

5 Seaside Souvenirs: Defeat at Bournemouth

There is no bowl of cherries as West Ham get out of their depth at the seaside.

Wish You Were Here

So that is 1 point out of a possible 9 since the warm weather jaunt to Dubai where the boys apparently worked on their defending as well as getting involved in a spot of team bonding. The value of these trips in the past has always seemed rather dubious but this time around there should be some serious questions asked judging by the results, performances and defensive displays since the return. An all-expenses paid holiday as a reward for getting knocked out of the cup early is a really strange one.

The Insanity of Slaven?

It is said that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is a sign of insanity. If that is the case then perhaps our manager is a raving lunatic! He may well be cool, know West Ham (whatever that means), have a good sense of humour and be the sort of bloke you could imagine going down the pub with but a deep thinking manager he is not. Last season he introduced some much needed flair to the team; a refreshing change to Fat Sam’s attritional style of play but which exploited Allardyce’s organisation legacy to secure some excellent results particularly against top 6 sides. This year not only the swagger has gone and also the organisation. I can understand how a side can be a work in progress but right now it is difficult to see which direction we are meant to be heading in. Tactics, selection, recruitment and organisation are all over the place with no discernible style or strategy . This is not he astute full of ideas younger manager that I thought we were getting. The last time he did something innovative was to play Reece Oxford against Arsenal in the first game of last season. Maybe he is an upgrade on Allardyce but he is no Pochettino or Koeman. Sorry to say but we need better. Early cup exits and a bottom half finish would be a relatively disastrous season. Yesterday we were very lucky to come away without a substantial hammering.

Captain Mediocre

Mark Noble has served West Ham well in his 10 plus years at the club. On MOTD yesterday Motty posed the question “what price loyalty?” when observing that Noble had made close to 400 appearances for the club but had recently been criticised by fans on social media. There is, of course, no connection between the two facts. Noble like any other player should not be in the team if he is not performing well enough. What he may or may not have done in the past is purely sentiment and not a justification for selection. All careers come to an end. Unfortunately Noble slows everything down due to both a lack of pace and slowness of thought. His first instinct is to play a first time short pass backwards or sideways as if it were an extended game of one-touch. The game is played at speed these days and you need to be an exceptional talent to survive without pace all around the pitch. That we have several other plodders in the team only makes matters worse. I admire loyalty up to a point but he has make a good living at West Ham and I doubt that any bigger club has ever come courting; Palace or Stoke perhaps. Bilic says his role as captain is vital to the team and that he gees things up when things are not going well. Is that really enough? Perhaps he can come good again but right now I don’t understand how he keeps making the starting team-sheet.

Right Back Where We Started

The right back situation is a farce. Who next after Antonio and Kouyate? Why not give Adrian a try? Or how about giving Sam Byram a decent run; an actual right back who defends at least as well as Cresswell and can also offer something going forward. For reasons best known to the manager he would rather play others out of position than employ a specialist. Is it to give his favourites a game or simply stubbornness because Byram was not his transfer pick? Some say that Bilic will have better knowledge because he sees the players in training every day but this is the same manager who didn’t really fancy Antonio and Obiang; arguably our best two players now. In his post match Bilic was suggesting that Byram was at fault for the third goal but in reality it was Ayew who screwed up. A case of getting his justification for next week’s selection in early?

The Deadwood Stage

There is a cycle at West Ham. The squad is littered with dead-wood, jobbing footballers. Every now and then there is a clear out with cut-price transfers and contracts paid up only to fill the space created with more of the same bench warmers. It is just like the process of clearing out your attic. Look at the January transfer for example. What was the point on spending the best part of £20 million on Fonte and Snodgrass when we could have made do until the summer with Collins and Feghouli/ Ayew? Neither are bad players but both have their best days behind them. The absence of a long term transfer strategy worries me. The names that we are being linked with (while many may be pure rumours) make me shudder. Players such as Sagna or Zabaletta at the end of their useful careers and looking for a final payday. Or even worse the woeful Benteke. Scouting needs to go up several notches to focus on hungry young talent. It is no point pretending to compete for established players who will in all probability end up at Champion’s League clubs and then being forced to do your shopping from the bargain basement.

Matchday: Hammers @ the Cherries

West Ham’s bashful attack comes up against Bournemouth’s shaky defence at the Vitality stadium.

Bournemouth West Ham Whenever a team has a player sent off, even if this is in the second minute of added time, it is the duty of the headline writer to include the phrase “Ten Man” in the description of the game. So it was that I was in a bar last weekend watching Ten Man Bournemouth frustrate Manchester United. This particular bar had two separate large screen TVs showing the game from two different feeds; one was in real-time while the other had a five minute delay, and unusually took the decision to run the commentary from the delayed feed. Bournemouth should have been dead and buried before half-time but managed to get on level terms with an unlikely Old Trafford penalty and then showed great resilience to protect their point once they had skipper, Andrew Surman, sent off in the aftermath of the Ibrahimovic/ Mings fracas.

We are expecting a really difficult game on a difficult pitch with a good atmosphere but we are looking forward to it. There is still a big job to do. We have to approach every game and try and win it and see where it will bring us. We want, and we have to finish strongly.

– Slaven Bilic

Bournemouth are on a long winless eight match run during which time they have conceded 21 goals, they are without a league victory in 2017 (since Nathan Ake was recalled by Chelsea) and have never beaten a London side in the Premier League on home turf. West Ham are unbeaten on the road in 2017 and have not previously lost away to Bournemouth in any competition; 26 of the Hammer’s 33 league goals and 8 of their 9 wins have come against teams in the bottom half of the table. What could possibly go wrong?

Head to Head

The all-time record between the two clubs spans just 8 games since the first encounter in the 5th round of the 1929 FA Cup competition. Of these games West Ham have won 5 and lost just 1, last season’s 4-3 home defeat. Bournemouth will have a permanent place in the West Ham record books as the very first league visitors to the London Stadium (or whatever future incarnation of naming rights that it takes).

Team News

West Ham welcome back a touch of pace today with the return from suspension of Michail Antonio. The Physio Room shows late fitness tests for Carroll, Fonte and Reid so the manager will be compiling his list of favourite available players before deciding how he will have them line-up. Apparently we have never scored in the first half of any Premier League game against Bournemouth and so expect more of the same today as the starting arrangement once again fails to impress and tactical adjustments have to be made at half-time.

My guess is that one of Reid or Fonte will not make it with Kouyate conveniently moving to the central defence and allowing Byram to return at right back. Where to play Antonio will be the dilemma (assuming Carroll is fit); if he plays behind Carroll then Lanzini will be forced to a more ineffective wide role and if he plays out wide then the question is on which side and who of Feghouli, Snodgrass or Ayew takes the other berth? I experienced a real laugh out loud moment during the week when reading a suggestion that Mark Noble could be the answer to the right back problem; I just hope and pray that Slaven Bilic did’nt read it as well.

They’re a different team with Andy Carroll – he’s got strengths and is a huge part of their game.

– Eddie Howe suggests a one-dimensional West Ham

The leaky Bournemouth defence is further weakened by the suspension of the merciless Mings and if there was ever a perfect opportunity for Carroll to notch his 50^th Premier League goal then this should be it. Bournemouth are also without the suspended Surman and a number of injured players including Callum Wilson and former Hammer, Junior Stanislas. Despite their struggles this season I still have a lot of respect for Cherries manager Eddie Howe who has done remarkably well with limited resources. The one question mark against him is the big money signing of Jordan Ibe, a player who has performed so poorly that he must be odds-on to score today.

The Man in the Middle

The man in figurative black today is Robert ‘Rob, Bob, Robbie, Bobby’ Madley from West Yorkshire. Madley previously had the whistle in the two home victories this season against Sunderland and Burnley. His all competition record so far this term comprises 25 games with 101 Yellow and 3 Red cards.

Bournemouth v West Ham Preview

The chance for West Ham to complete a double over Bournemouth, although we know what often happens when we face a team who haven’t won a game for some time!

Bournemouth West Ham We go into the game on the South Coast this weekend sitting in eleventh place in the Premier League table on 33 points after 27 games. This effectively means that we are at the top of the bottom half of the league. Based on revenue figures we would hope to finish seventh by the end of the season, but this is not going to happen. It is good to see that some of our fans have retained their sense of humour, as I read one tweet today that said unless we pick up three points against Bournemouth then we cannot win the league!

Bournemouth, or to give them their proper name which very few people use, AFC Bournemouth, are in their second consecutive season in the top flight, and currently are three places below us in 14^th, and trail us by six points. Their 27 points attained so far is just five points above the drop zone, so they really need to collect some more wins in their remaining games to ensure another season in the Premier League. They have won seven of their 27 league games, four of which have come against teams in the top half of the table, West Brom, Everton, Liverpool, and Stoke. Their biggest win was a 6-1 victory over lowly Hull back in October. Conversely, they have lost home games against both Sunderland and Palace to demonstrate the inconsistency of their performances.

If neutral spectators exist, and enjoy seeing goals, then Bournemouth are one of the teams for them to follow. The 89 goals scored in league games involving the Cherries this season puts them in third place just behind Swansea on 94, and Liverpool on 92.

Their recent record is why they might still end up in the relegation dogfight, as they haven’t won a single league game in 2017. In their eight games, they have drawn three times and lost five, although last week they had a creditable performance drawing 1-1 at Old Trafford. Apart from that draw, their other five drawn games have all come against clubs ‘loosely’ from the London area, Watford (twice), Palace, Arsenal and Tottenham.

We have only ever played them 8 times in history (and two of those were in 1929), and normally we have come out on top. Our only defeat was the 4-3 reverse at Upton Park in our second home game last season. That game was catastrophic from a defensive point of view, but we did get our revenge in the return match when we came from behind to win 3-1 with all of our goals coming from players who are no longer with us, Payet and Valencia (2). Two of the goals, one from the Frenchman, and another from the Ecuadorian currently on loan at Everton, were scored directly from free kicks.

In the very first Premier League game at the London Stadium, Bournemouth were our visitors, and in a tight game we just shaded it at the end with a late (85^th minute) headed goal from Michail Antonio. At the time we hoped it would be the start of a good run, but we didn’t win another league game at home for two months, when an even later goal (94^th minute) from Winston Reid gave us another 1-0 win, this time over Sunderland. And then we had to wait almost two months again before two more 1-0 home wins in a week against Burnley and Hull. Our win at home against Palace puts us on a par with Bournemouth in that we have both won five of our home games. Our away form has been superior to theirs, and hopefully we can record our fifth away from home victory this weekend.

Antonio should be back in our starting line-up after his unfortunate hand ball cost him a place for the Chelsea game. Perhaps another far post header will be the winner as we fight back after conceding the first goal to win the game 2-1 this time? Bilic gave Noble a vote of confidence this week, so I guess he is not immune to the feelings of a number of fans who would like to see our captain given a rest, and have taken to social media to express their views. Personally I would like us to revert to four at the back with a recognised right back in Byram. I’d like to see Kouyate add more pace in midfield alongside Obiang, who has been the player of the season for me so far. A lot of fans on social media were raving about Ayew’s substitute appearance against Chelsea, and I guess he did provide the assist for our late goal. He hasn’t yet convinced me of his potential worth to the team, but I concede he hasn’t had many chances to prove himself.

We all have opinions about the team that we would like to see selected, but only one man has his job on the line, and he sees the players every day, so he has to go with what he thinks is the team for a particular game, and not bow to external pressure. In many ways, as we are virtually safe, albeit not mathematically yet of course, it would be good to see us giving some of the fringe players the chance to prove themselves, but with an additional £2 million for each additional place higher that you finish in the league, then that is not going to happen.

The Lawro Challenge – Week 28

It remains tight at the top as the Lawro predictor challenge enters week 28.

Lawro Crystal Ball We have now predicted the results of 268 matches. In Week 27, Rich scored 4 points, Geoff 7 points, and Lawro 10 points. Lawro has extended his lead at the top of the leaderboard yet again, but, as we approach the business end of the season there is all to play for. Can Lawro increase his lead still further, making it difficult for him to be caught, or can Rich keep the contest alive?

This week we have a reduced number of league games because of the FA Cup matches being played. As Lawro has predicted FA Cup matches this weekend we will take him on in those games as well.

In this challenge we award one point for a correct result, and a further two points (making three in total) if the score prediction is spot on.

We now proceed to week 28.

	Rich	Geoff	Lawro
Total after 26 weeks	208	161	212
Score in week 27	4	7	10
Total after 27 weeks	212	168	222

Predictions – Week 28
	Rich	Geoff	Lawro
Saturday
Bournemouth v West Ham	1-2	3-3	2-1
Everton v WBA	2-0	2-1	1-1
Hull v Swansea	2-2	1-2	1-1
Sunday
Liverpool v Burnley	3-1	3-0	2-0
FA Cup
Saturday
Middlesbrough v Man City	0-3	0-4	0-2
Arsenal v Lincoln	4-0	7-1	3-0
Sunday
Tottenham v Millwall	4-0	3-0	2-0
Monday
Chelsea v Man United	3-1	1-0	2-0

I Wouldn’t Bet On It 34

Last season we came from behind to win at Bournemouth – can we repeat the feat?

Fancy A Bet

Unsurprisingly really we lost out on our bets for the Chelsea game. The bookies were right to make them odds-on favourites, but we couldn’t bet against our team, and the odds were sufficiently generous to be worth a punt. Our balance is now 90 points.

We’ll continue with our fun bets this weekend for the game at Bournemouth. We’ve been on a losing streak but things can change. We have one of those situations this week where West Ham have famously assisted the opposition in the past to end a bad run. Bournemouth haven’t actually won a league game in 2017 in eight attempts. Let us hope we can make it nine!

For this weekend we’ll keep it modest again:

6 points on West Ham to win and both teams to score @4/1 (30)
3 points on a score draw @3/1 (12)
1 point on West Ham to come from behind and win @11/1 (12)

After staking 10 points our balance is now down to 80 points. The potential returns on winning bets are shown in brackets. What are the chances?

My Favourite Games: Number 8 – West Ham 6:1 West Brom, Good Friday, April 16 1965

A series of occasional articles recalling my favourite West Ham games, and songs that topped the charts when these games were played. Today a memorable quickfire scoring feat by Brian Dear.

There have been so many great games in the last 58 years and many are described in my book, Goodbye Upton Park, Hello Stratford. They are remembered for different reasons, the importance of the game, the goals scored, and the spine-tingling atmosphere generated by our fans. I remember this one especially for seeing a big West Ham win, and a goalscoring feat by Brian Dear, something which I doubt I will ever see again. And growing up in the 1960s I remember fondly the music in the charts at the time.

Favourite Games 8

It was a “Good Friday” for me during the Easter holidays in 1965 as for the first time I was allowed to go to Upton Park with friends rather than any adults being with us. The Last Time by the Stones was in the charts but this was my first time. I was eleven. Do eleven year-olds go to West Ham without adult company these days? It was an even better Friday for Brian Dear as this was the day he scored five goals in a twenty minute spell either side of half time in our 6-1 trouncing of West Brom. I can recall a newspaper headline of the match report that I had in my West Ham scrapbook at the time. It read “Dear, Oh Dear, Oh Dear, Oh Dear, Oh Dear!” Martin Peters scored the other goal incidentally, but everyone forgets that. The following week I went on my first trip abroad, a school visit to Paris and Ostend. I remember the time very well.

Dear’s first goal came just a minute before the half-time interval. Of course back in those days the half lasted for just 45 minutes. We didn’t have a board indicating additional minutes to be played for injuries, time-wasting or substitutions. When 45 minutes were up the half-time whistle was blown. If I remember correctly the game kicked off at 11am, so the half would have ended exactly at 11.45. There was only a ten minute interval in those days too.

He scored four more in the first 19 minutes of the second half, the last coming at 12.14pm, making it a five goal haul in twenty minutes of football time (half an hour if you include the interval!), a feat which I don’t believe has been repeated since. It is claimed that Aguero equalled the five goals in 20 minutes when Manchester City beat Newcastle by the identical score 6-1 in October 2015. Aguero’s goals were timed at 42, 49, 50, 60 and 62 minutes, seemingly within twenty minutes, but everyone forgets the additional three minutes that the referee added before blowing the half-time whistle.

I remember the West Brom game very well, not particularly for the quality of our football, which was good of course as we won the game comfortably, but more for the fact that I realised that I was watching a very special goalscoring feat. I did witness another a few years later when I saw Geoff Hurst score six in a game. Of course, as often happened in those days, the return fixture came just a few days later (on Easter Monday to be precise). West Brom turned the tables and beat us 4-2, and no, Brian Dear didn’t score, our goals came from Ronnie Boyce and Geoff Hurst.

Despite his goalscoring prowess, he never had many extended runs in the first team, and played a total of just 82 games in a seven-year spell, scoring 39 goals at a healthy average of almost one every other game. Why didn’t he play more often? He did feature in the final 15 matches of the successful European season, scoring 14 goals, and was a member of our victorious European Cup Winners Cup side just a month later on that famous night at Wembley.

In addition to the The Last Time by the Rolling Stones mentioned earlier, which was a former number one on its way downwards, there were a number of top acts in the chart that week, the Yardbirds were at 2 with For Your Love, Unit 4+2 were at 3 with Concrete and Clay, Donovan was at 4 with Catch The Wind, Here Comes The Night by Them was at 5, Bob Dylan was at 7 with The Times They Are A-Changin’, and the Beatles were a new entry at 10 with Ticket to Ride, which would go on to be the number one the following week. The number one this week was Cliff Richard with The Minute You’re Gone.

This Week in Hammer’s History

Dreams of the twin towers of Wembley dominate the week 6 to 12 March in Hammer’s history.

This Week Hammers History It was cup fever all the way in the week 6 – 12 March in Hammer’s history as the FA Cup heads towards its exciting climax.

Having been held to a draw in a 1985 5^th round tie at Plough Lane on Saturday by second division Wimbledon replay was scheduled for just two days later at Upton Park. The Hammers made no mistake on the second time of asking rattling in 5 goals (to a single Wimbledon replay) courtesy of a Tony Cottee hat-trick and goals from Alan Dickens and Paul Allen. The reward was a 6^th round tie on the following Saturday away at Old Trafford where three goals from Norman Whiteside steered Manchester United to a 4-2 victory; the West Ham goals coming when a Manchester defender deflected a Paul Allen cross into his own goal before Allen himself notched West Ham’s second.

There was revenge just one a year later though when the teams met again in a 5^th round tie. West Ham had only been able to play one league game since mid-January due to frozen pitches but were strangely able to fulfil cup fixtures which included seeing off Ipswich in a three match 4^th round marathon and then drawing at home to Manchester United in the initial 5^th round tie. The replay at Old Trafford on 9 March saw a superb Hammer’s performance end in a 2-0 victory thanks to a spectacular 18 yard headed Geoff Pike goal and a Ray Stewart penalty bravely awarded for a foul on Alvin Martin.

Other 6^th round matches to mention before getting on to the main event were a 2-1 home victory over Everton (in what I remember as the Stuart Slater match) with goals from Slater and Colin Foster; a creditable 1998 draw at Highbury (Ian Pearce) when I really had a feeling that we were on our way to Wembley; and a frustrating 3-2 defeat at home by Tottenham in 2001 where two fine goals from Sergei Rebrov (later to become another in a long line of West Ham flops) gave the visitors the advantage; the Hammers goals coming from a Stuart Pearce bullet and a neat Svetoslav Todorov finish.

In the victorious 1975 campaign West Ham were drawn away in the 6^th round to a struggling Arsenal side which gave some hope as we made the short trip across to north London. Of all the matches in the 1975 cup run this is the most memorable for me (including the Final) with the game was played on a sodden Highbury pitch where the ball frequently got stuck in the mud. The unlikely hero was Alan Taylor who had only previously played in a handful of league games since his transfer from Rochdale at the end of 1974. Taylor had been injured when Rochdale played their early round FA cup games and so was not cup tied and was surprisingly given a start in the quarter final tie. A goal in each half were Taylor’s first for West Ham with the pitch having a hand in both goals, the first after a Graham Paddon cross and the second following a smart interchange with Trevor Brooking. A contentious decision that unusually went West Ham’s way occurred when goalkeeper Mervyn Day raced out to clatter John Radford to the ground, probably a red card offence by today’s standard but the referee waved play on.

Day, McDowell, Lampard, Bonds, Taylor, Lock, Jennings, Paddon, Taylor, Brooking, K Robson.

On the same day five years later, second division West Ham were at home in the quarter final to Aston Villa, at the time riding high in the first division. Despite the difference in league status the match was dominated by the Hammers but they struggled to get past a resolute Villa defence and when they did keeper Jimmy Rimmer was in fine form. With the game looking to be headed for a replay at Villa Park the game changed with just two minutes remaining when Ken McNaught inexplicably knocked a cross away with his hand. Up stepped Ray Stewart and despite the pressure (and a few of his team-mates refusing to watch) placed the perfect penalty low to Rimmer’s right. West Ham did make it to Villa Park but for a semi-final appointment with Everton.

Parkes, Lampard, Brush, Stewart, Martin, Devonshire, Allen, Pearson, Cross, Brooking, Pike.

Finally, this week in 1966 witnessed our first ever League Cup final appearance in the first match of a two legged affair against West Bromwich Albion. Looking to make it a hat-trick of cup victories in successive years, goals from Bobby Moore and Johnny Byrne gave West Ham a 2-1 advantage to take into the second leg.

5 Observations from the Chelsea lesson

Not unexpected but defeat by the champion’s elect gives the sense of a season that is fizzling out.

There Are No Easy Games?

Observers like to say that there are no easy games in the Premier League and, in fact, Slaven Bilic said exactly the same in the build up to the visit of Chelsea on Monday night. Yet from Chelsea’s point of view this was much of a stroll in the Olympic Park. Sit back and absorb the expected early pressure, do what you’re good at and hit on the break, once in front take the foot off the gas, give your best players a rest and coast to a comfortable victory. In the record books the result will have the look of a closely contested game but in reality it was far from that; there was only going to be one winner the minute Eden Hazard tucked away the opener. Of course, money plays a big part and Chelsea’s squad strength bears no relation to our ramshackle collection once you get past a competent dozen or so. But what Chelsea have under Conte this season is remorseless organisation that allows flair players opportunity to flourish; something that had been lost under Mourinho. Organisation, preparation and motivation are as important managerial attributes as are tactics and selection, and remain part of the reason that I continue to have reservations about our own manager.

Oh So Predictable!

It is true that the absence of Michail Antonio left few viable attacking options and it was a case of a return for a rusty Andy Carroll whether he was ready or not. In the more recent games where Carroll has played with Antonio just behind we have been able to mix play up a little but on this occasion, particularly in the first half, we were back to the agricultural tactic of lumping long hopeful high balls into the area. If we felt that this ploy would come as a surprise to Chelsea then we were sadly mistaken. Space on the flanks was effectively kept to a minimum and wide players rarely got behind the defence into those areas where crosses are more difficult to defend. As it was Chelsea’s central defenders were able to deal with the threat with ease and probably had enough time to send the odd tweet in the meantime if they really wanted to. The game was effectively all over early in the second half and although, to the player’s credit, no-one gave up Chelsea rarely needed to get out of low gear.

Square Pegs and Round Holes Again.

Once again team selection has the look of choose the favourite available eleven players and then decide how to fit them in to some semblance of a formation. The need for specialist full-backs has long been a West Ham blind spot and the current management appear to have the same blinkers. It is a scenario that you might expect in Sunday morning park football but this is supposed to be the world’s elite league competition. Is there any evidence to suggest that either Kouyate (or Antonio before him) were effective in this position? I know some supporters don’t rate Byram but I would think, injuries permitting, he should be given a run in the side to prove himself or otherwise, there is not now much to lose. He looks as capable a defender as Cresswell to me even if he hasn’t demonstrated too much going forward yet. I can view the selection as putting off the difficult decision in central midfield now that Pedro Obiang has cemented his starting position. One of Noble and Kouyate has to be benched (Noble in my opinion) although Slav may have a ‘get out of jail card’ with the injury to Winston Reid.

Ambre Solaire Time

I have already sensed an end of season unwinding feel in recent matches and my fear is that it will only go one way from here. We do not look the fittest or most motivated of teams at the best of times and it would come as a surprise to me now if we ended the season in the top half. Despite West Brom’s defeat at the weekend they are still some way clear and I reckon that both Stoke and Southampton will finish ahead of us. A 7^th or 8^th place finish is a reasonable benchmark for a club of our size and so anything less looks like underachievement. There have been some positives for the season but overall it has been disappointing and if the club wants fewer white seats to turn up to games next year they need to address the disjointed team issues as a matter of urgency.

Squad Renewal

In an after match interview David Sullivan was quoted as saying that ‘we are a few players short of a very, very good side’ or words to that effect. I can only hope that he was either misquoted and purposelessly putting out misinformation. You could argue that, in the unlikely circumstances of everyone being fit, we could field a decent starting eleven but after that it the squad has the familiar bare-bones look to it. After the failings of the summer transfer window (and the gap-filling nature of the January one) the squad needs a major overhaul rather than a few tweaks if we are serious about challenging for greater things. The squad lacks quality, depth and pace. It would be comforting to think that we had a style of play in mind and recruited players to fit that style but I don’t see that. Our approach appears to be an opportunist one that recruits players in isolation rather than considering how they are going to fit into a system. Not everything is the fault of the manager and the lack of a longer term vision is worrying. The reported new one year rolling contract for Bilic feels like a hedge play. He is either the right man (not just a good enough one) for the job or he isn’t.

Ratings: Randolph (6), Kouyate (5), Reid (6), Fonte (5), Cresswell (5), Noble (5), Obiang (6), Feghouli (5), Lanzini (7), Snodgrass (6), Carroll (5) Subs: Byram (6), Ayew (6), Fernandes (5)