Under The Hammers

Matchday: Can West Ham deny a swaggering Spurs?

Wouldn’t it be nice to get one over on your neighbours? Will West Ham raise their game and electrify the London Stadium?

West Ham Tottenham When Tottenham visited Upton Park (lovingly described in one national newspaper report at the time as a clanky old corrugated arena) in early March last season, a victory would have sent them to the top of the Premier League on goal difference. In the event, an early Michail Antonio goal topped an energetic and exuberant West Ham display to earn the Hammers all three points and instigate a Tottenham wobble than ended with them finishing third in what was essentially a two horse race.

Roll forward six months and by the time West Ham visited White Hart Lane, in November of this season, they were a team transformed by dreadful summer recruitment and a disinterested French playmaker. Spurs were unbeaten at home (and, of course, remain so) but were without a win for seven games. In a match that Tottenham dominated territorially, it was West Ham who rose to the occasion and held an unlikely lead with mere minutes of the game remaining; but then what has become characteristically suicidal substitutions resulted in, not just the tame surrender of two points, but the loss of all three.

It is a derby, whether you need the points or not, it’s a derby game against Spurs at our stadium. They need points, we need points, so it is massive game for us and a massive game for them. We will try to get the points that will mathematically secure our status.

– Slaven Bilic predicts a massive game

The gulf between the two teams is now so great that only the very brave and the deluded are predicting a West Ham victory. The challenge is not helped by a long list of injuries but damage limitation, rather than famous victory, seems to be the order of the day. Perhaps an unexpected planetary alignment can inspire the uninspired, energise the weak and bring order where there has only been chaos. A victory tonight, which would confirm rather than derail Tottenham’s doomed title bid, would require a performance to match the ‘obscene effort’ of 1992 so fondly remembered by Sir Alex Ferguson.

Head to Head

West Ham have played more league games against the snooty north London neighbours than against any other team. Maybe others would deem the rivalry against the noisy ones from over the river to be the more heated but this one comes around far more frequently. In 127 previous meetings against Tottenham, West Ham have won 43 and lost 53. On home turf the Hammers hold the advantage with 28 wins and 20 defeats from 63 attempts. The last 12 league meetings have seen 4 West Ham wins, 6 Tottenham wins and 2 drawn matches.

Team News

Diafra Sakho has decided to join Pedro Obiang, Angelo Ogbonna and Antonio on the out for the season rota. I imagine that Sakho is one that we will not see in claret and blue again, while his long time injury room partner, Andy Carroll, faces a late fitness test along with burgeoning cult hero Arthur Masuaku. There is often a great deal of anger about players who are constantly injured but I doubt that any footballer, and we have had our fair share of sicknotes, really wants to regularly spend time sitting out matches during their relatively short careers.

Team selection will be the usual Slaven lottery but with even fewer balls to select from than usual. I am hoping that the Betamax machine in the Rush Green tactical war room has been working correctly and that the coaching staff have noticed that; Spurs attack with pace down the flanks through their full/ wing backs; that Kane and Alli are pretty lethal in front of goal; and that Erikson will have a field day if allowed too much space in midfield. In these circumstances I believe that the Reid/ Fonte/ Collins combo should remain in force supported by Masuaku (or Cresswell) and Byram (until he gets booked) out wide and with Kouyate and Nordtveit in central midfield. Fingers crossed that Carroll can put in an appearance and that Calleri, Feghouli and Snodgrass are well away from the action.

Of course it is a great opportunity to close the gap but we are playing another derby against West Ham and it will be very tough. The pressure is on us to win.

– Mauricio Pochettino thinks it will be tough

Tottenham appear far more resilient, injury wise, than West Ham but are without Danny Rose and long term absentee Eric Lamela. The absence of Rose is a tiny bonus as stand-in Davies is not the same quality but other than that the visitors are at full strength. It would be gratifying not to have to witness too many of the pre-teen choreographed goal hand celebrations this evening but I wouldn’t bet on it.

The Man in the Middle

The appointment of Anthony Taylor as tonight’s referee was described as diabolical news on one new source on the basis that West Ham had lost all three games where he has been in charge this season (Chelsea (a), Everton (a) and Leicester (a)). Apart from failing to dismiss Diego Costa in the season opener I suggest that the defeats were due more to our own shortcomings than refereeing influence. Taylor has officiated in 37 games in all competitions this season and issued an arm-wearying 144 yellow cards, but just the 4 reds.

The Lawro Challenge – Week 36

Tension mounts as the two horse Lawro challenge race enters the final furlong.

Lawro Crystal Ball In Week 35, Geoff took the honours. Rich scored 3 points, Geoff 4 points, and Lawro 2 points. By some distance this was our poorest week for predicting the scores / results of Premier League games in the whole season, and demonstrated the unpredictability of some of the games in the top flight. Although Rich has forecast the most correct results, Lawro has been spot on with a greater number of correct scores. We now have just three weeks to go and Lawro has a 7 point lead. Can he be caught?

In this challenge we award one point for a correct result, and a further two points (making three in total) if the score prediction is spot on.

We now proceed to week 36.

	Rich	Geoff	Lawro
Total after 34 weeks	263	210	271
Score in week 35	3	4	2
Total after 35 weeks	266	214	273

Predictions – Week 36
	Rich	Geoff	Lawro
Friday
West Ham v Tottenham	1-1	1-5	0-2
Saturday
Man City v Palace	2-0	2-1	3-0
Bournemouth v Stoke	2-1	0-0	1-1
Burnley v West Brom	1-1	1-0	1-1
Hull v Sunderland	3-0	1-1	2-0
Leicester v Watford	3-0	3-0	2-0
Swansea v Everton	2-1	2-2	2-1
Sunday
Liverpool v Southampton	2-1	1-1	2-0
Arsenal v Man. United	0-0	2-0	1-1
Monday
Chelsea v Middlesbrough	4-0	2-0	3-0

I Wouldn’t Bet On It 41

Another bet on an unlikely result. Let us hope we can confound current form and pull off a shock win.

Fancy A Bet

So once again our bets fell down. At least I had the satisfaction of us not losing the game against Stoke, which was the main aim! Now we are 159 points down for the season to date.

Well, in for a penny, in for a point, I’ll go for the most unlikely result on Friday evening and bet on West Ham to beat Tottenham, with a saver on a draw. Given the respective form of the two sides, I would have to say that beating our North London rivals this week is as close to an impossibility as we have had in this fixture for some time. Much as I don’t like them, I have to concede that Tottenham have as good a team as they have had for some years, and their style and consistency of play makes them easily one of the best two teams in the country, and if they hold on to their best players and manager, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them going one better next season than the runners-up spot that they managed last year, and look likely to repeat this time.

The odds of a West Ham win are nowhere near as generous as they ought to be, and at 13/2, the bookies are saying we have about a 13.3% chance of winning the game. I would say that the chances are realistically lower than that. Nevertheless, we put a halt on their aspirations of getting to the top last March, and the reverse fixture at White Hart Lane this season was a game that we could, and probably should have won. But we must also remember that we haven’t (yet!) beaten any of the sides who are currently in the top eight of the Premier League this season in 14 attempts. We have two chances to rectify this; tonight’s game, and a home again against Liverpool in just over a week.

So, I will stake 31 points at 13/2 (232.5) on a West Ham victory, and 10 points at 15/4 (47.5) on a draw making it minus 200 points for the season so far. In the unlikely event that we pull off a shock win, and how I hope we do, then it will make up for some of the recent disappointing results. We’ve only won one game in our last eleven Premier League fixtures. Can we make it two out of twelve?

The potential returns are in brackets. What are the chances?

West Ham entertain Tottenham

A rare Friday night visit from our North London neighbours

antonio

I’ll begin my preview of the Tottenham game with a quiz question. I’ll give the answer towards the end. What do the following footballers have in common: Jermaine Defoe, Mido, Bobby Zamora, Teddy Sheringham, Les Ferdinand, Paul Allen, Clive Allen, Martin Peters, Jimmy Greaves, Frank Lampard (senior), and John Lyall?

Whatever you think of our North London neighbours, and most West Ham supporters dislike them, (or an even stronger verb than that), they have been a formidable side for the past two seasons, and have come close to winning the title both times. It looks like ultimately they will fall just short again, and we can assist in that happening tonight.

If they beat us they will cut the deficit at the top to just one point, but when you consider Chelsea’s run-in, an away game at West Brom, and three home games against Middlesbrough, Watford and Sunderland, then Tottenham are unlikely to get the opportunity to take over at the top. After their game tonight, Tottenham have a home game against Manchester United, and finish with two away games at Leicester and Hull. In theory they could still be called upon to do us a favour on the last day of the season, but it is unlikely that it will come to that. At least I hope not!

Considering the season we’ve had, then logically there is no way we can compete with them tonight. They have only lost three times in the league all season, in away trips to Chelsea, Manchester United and Liverpool, and face us having won their last nine games in a row, scoring 25 goals in the process and conceding just 4. At least we are unbeaten in our last four games, but a record of one win in the last eleven games does not look so good. One thing that we are extremely good at is ending other teams’ bad runs; perhaps we can do the opposite for a change and end a good run?

Spurs away form is not as strong as their home form, and trips to West Brom, Bournemouth, and even Sunderland only yielded one point in each game. And last November, when we visited their ground, we led 2-1 with just a couple of minutes to go, only to do what we have done consistently all season, and throw away points from a winning position. All straws to clutch at when looking for any chance of a good result tonight.

Will Carroll be back from Holby City? Will Masuaku be fit? Will Noble return to the starting line-up? Will Calleri be selected again up front (I hope not)? Before Slav’s press conference on Thursday I wondered whether Sakho would be fit? We now know he won’t play again this season, and I wonder if we will ever see him in a claret and blue shirt again? Will we play three (five?) at the back? Will we try to win the game or play for a point? Can we repeat our best performance of the season (Chelsea in the EFL Cup)? A lot of these questions will be answered on the night.

Tottenham have kept a fairly settled side for most of the season, and with their system it seems that any injuries that they do have can be easily covered by players of a similar quality who know exactly the jobs that they have to do. On the other hand, we have had a catalogue of injuries once again this season, and I hope that the board and management are looking into the reasons for this. Are we just unlucky, or is there (as I suspect) more to it than that?

The answer to the quiz question: All eleven have scored goals for Tottenham against West Ham. The first nine on the list have all played for both teams, but the final two have not; but both Lyall and Lampard have scored own goals in a West Ham v Tottenham game.

And finally, a quote from the legendary Brazilian footballer, Pele. “The more difficult the victory, the greater the happiness in winning.” At the current time, this will be a very difficult game for us to win. If we can manage it, then we will all be extremely happy to say the least. What words or phrases can you think of?

Ecstatic, euphoric, thrilled, over the moon, elated, delighted, on cloud nine, walking on air, in seventh heaven jubilant, rapturous, as pleased as Punch, cock-a-hoop, as happy as a sandboy, as happy as Larry (who was Larry?), like a child with a new toy.

Yes, all of those. And by the way, for those lovers of statistics, we have now managed to reach 998 points in Premier League football from 803 games, in this our 21^st season. This puts us at tenth place in the all-time list. The nine teams above us include the top seven teams in the Premier League at the moment (but not in the same order), plus Aston Villa and Newcastle. Wouldn’t it be good to reach 1000 in the game against Tottenham? We’ll be overjoyed if we can.

Midweek Miscellany

Not so much miscellany more a rant about the absence of a coherent management structure at West Ham.

Now I know that we are supposed to hate everything and anything about Tottenham Hotspur but one thing that I can’t shake out of my head is that they probably have the best manager currently working in the Premier League. The sooner that he gets poached by a team more deserving of his talents the better as far as I am concerned.

The wild delusions of Spurs fans were always easy to ridicule in the past as a succession of managers came along, spent loads of cash on disappointing players, flattered to deceive only to be summarily dismissed by James Bond villain lookalike Daniel Levy. Then it all went wrong with the appointment of Mauricio Pochettino. Suddenly they had a man with a plan who was prepared to stick with it and expected his players to fit in or ship out. To make matters worse they also play a style of football that is entertaining to watch.

A year or two ago we might have believed that we were not far behind these junior north London neighbours and that with a new stadium and a step up investment we could be hot on their heels. After all, they are the team in the money league immediately above us and if there is to be a next level then that is where it needs to start. Sadly, as things stand, we are barely in the same league.

If you have watched Pochettino’s side play it is evident that they are extremely well drilled, exceptionally fit, full of pace and play a consistent style that allows players to come in and out without disruption. Within this they have flexibility to switch formations effectively; full backs that become wing backs without changing stride; and central midfield players that appear to drop effortlessly into central defence. Defensive duties is a collective effort by a unit of six players. So fit are their players that the attacking/ creative four players are not required to ‘track back’ as a matter of course although all will defend from the front.

Contrast all this with our own sorry performances this season and consider these questions. Do we have a consistent style of play to adhere to that all the players understand? Do you see any evidence that we are building something for the future? Why have we recruited so many players without pace? Why do our players appear to be so unfit and injury prone? Why have we failed to blood any young players and in certain cases preferred to rely on pointless loanees?

It is always going to take a team that has been relegated some years to become re-established in the top flight. Before this season I believed that we had made reasonable strides in the right direction even if the football, at times, lacked excitement. Most of the Championship level dead wood had been shipped out and we seemed to be heading in the right direction. Now it feels very much like back to square one with a group of players that need to be seriously upgraded if we are to avoid more seasons of struggle.

If there really is any ambition then a far more enlightened and visionary approach to managing the club is required; one that naturally recognises the need to survive but also has an eye on a future that doesn’t get reset with every change of manager. As things stand I don’t see any structure in place that oversees the clubs on-field development nor a manager that is able to build or energise a team. With a 60,000 seater stadium it is no longer feasible just to tread water year after year or we will end up just like Sunderland.

This Week in Hammer’s History

A trophy at last, the final straight in 86 and dodgy lasagna feature in the week 1 – 7 May in Hammer’s History.

This Week Hammers History The first week of May in Hammer’s History includes the first two of West Ham’s FA Cup successes. Having waited almost 70 years for any sign of a major trophy, the duck was broken on 2 May 1964 when first division Hammers overcame the stubborn resistance of second division Preston North End to lift the famous trophy for the first time. West Ham were strong favourites going into the game but twice found themselves trailing to their lower league opposition. With the game looking destined for extra time Ronnie Boyce popped up to nod in the winner. A more comprehensive account of this memorable day has previously been featured in our Favourite Games series.

Standen, Bond, Burkett, Bovington, Brown, Moore, Brabrook, Boyce, Byrne, Boyce, Sissons

While in 1964 I had to make do with watching the game on a small black and white TV set, followed by attending the open-top bus parade the following morning, in 1975 I was thrilled to attend a first ever FA Cup Final in person. Once again it was first versus second division as West Ham took on Fulham in an all-London affair. There was an added fascination to the match in that all-time claret and blue hero, Bobby Moore, was now appearing in the white of Fulham. The final was not the greatest of spectacles and, personally, I have stronger memories of the sixth round win at Arsenal and the semi-final replay against Ipswich than I do of the final itself. Maybe the occasion got to me! Nevertheless, Alan Taylor put the seal on his fairy-tale season by scoring the two goals that once again saw the West Ham ribbons tied to the trophy.

Day, McDowell, Lampard, Bonds, Taylor, Lock, Jennings, Paddon, Taylor, Brooking, Holland

A year later and West Ham had unexpectedly made it to the final of the European Cup Winner’s Cup; a game against Anderlecht played at the notorious Heysel Stadium. Pat Holland put West Ham a goal up just before the half hour when he got on the end of a Billy Bonds knock down from a Graham Paddon cross. It looked like the Hammers would go into the break with the advantage until a misjudged backpass by Frank Lampard found its way to Rensenbrink to equalise. In the second period, the wonderful Frankie Van Der Elst (later to be a Hammer) gave Anderlecht the lead but a Keith Robson header, from a Trevor Brooking cross, restored parity. The game then turned on a very harsh penalty awarded for a foul by Holland. Rensenbrink converted from the spot and with West Ham committed forward Van Der Elst scored again to end the game at 4-2 in the Belgian side’s favour.

Day, Coleman, Lampard (Taylor), Bonds, Taylor, McDowell, Holland, Paddon, Jennings, Brooking, Robson

It was also the final weekend of the season in 1986 and probably the only time that West Ham have gone into it with a chance of winning the title. The Hammer’s did what they had to in a 3-2 win at The Hawthorns (against relegated West Bromwich Albion) but were let down by a Chelsea home defeat against ultimate Champion’s Liverpool.

The end of the 2011/12 season required third placed West Ham to participate in two Championship Play Off semi-final matches against Cardiff. West Ham came away as comfortable victors winning 2-0 away (Collison 2) and 3-0 at Upton Park (Nolan, Vaz Te, Maynard) to set up a final encounter with Blackpool.

Finally, and appropriately given Friday’s opponents, this week in 2006 was the setting for the famous Lasagna-gate game. Martin Jol’s Tottenham side visited Upton Park needing to match Arsenal’s result on the final Sunday afternoon of the season to claim their inaugural Champion’s League place. Following a Saturday night buffet of dodgy lasagna the Spurs players started going down quicker than Dele Alli in the penalty area. Despite desperate efforts to delay the game by several hours it was decided it had to go ahead as scheduled rather than asking supporters to spend several more hours in the pub. Carl Fletcher gave West Ham the lead only for Defoe to equalise but with the poorly Spurs players flagging, Yossi Benayoun struck with 10 minutes remaining to win the game for West Ham. Arsenal had won 4-2 against Wigan and so the Spurs dream lay in pieces at the bottom of the toilet bowl.

Notable Birthdays

1 May         Marc Vivien Foe           d. 2003
5 May         Yossi Benayoun            37
7 May         Ian Perace                     43
7 May         Steve Potts                    50

Stoke 0 West Ham 0

Groundhog Day

We met Stoke at Upton Park in 2015. I looked back on my report of the game at that time. Some of the things I wrote included, “in goal, Jack Butland (at 22) already looks the complete goalkeeping package, and I reckon he is the best England keeper at the moment.” I also added, “despite their attacking prowess it is not difficult to see why they are the lowest scoring team in the Premier League at the moment.” And “their finishing was poor, and when they were on target Adrian was able to keep them out. Our defence held up well, and Adrian was determined not to be beaten”.

Although Butland has been injured for over thirteen months, and this was only his second game back, then on the evidence of this game, my judgement on his goalkeeping prowess remains sound. And, although they are not the lowest scoring team in the Premier League this season, they are one of the lowest, and their “goals for” column does not match their league position. And again, our defence held up well, and Adrian was similarly determined not to be beaten, including some fine saves. It was Groundhog Day in many respects.

It certainly wasn’t the worst 0-0 draw you could see (just like our home game against them last season), but it was a game that both sides could have won. In the end, both were probably happy with the point. Once again, the manager’s decisions baffled me a little. The continuing selection of Calleri is one that I just cannot fathom, and despite the fact that he “moves well”, he is in the team to score goals. It would be useful, and he would stand more chance of doing so, if he could hit the target! And the rabona was quite ridiculous I thought. Save that for Rush Green. The fact that we took off Ayew, who looked the most likely to score, and brought on Noble, handed the late initiative to Stoke. Strange managerial decisions that, to me, were difficult to comprehend.

For the past three seasons Stoke have finished in a very creditable ninth position, and if you read some of the comments on social media criticising our team for not beating a “poor Stoke side” then I think they are misleading. Stoke, like ourselves, are just members of the mid-table cluster of clubs that are nowhere near good enough to be challenging the top six in the table, but at the same time are just a little too good to go down. This group stretches from Southampton in ninth place on 41 points, down to Palace in sixteenth on 38. Of course some of these sides are not yet mathematically safe from the drop, but it would be a surprise if any of them didn’t already have enough points.

The Swansea draw at Manchester United takes them up to 32 points with three games left, and if they win all three then they could reach 41. As top flight games go, all are winnable (home v Everton, away v Sunderland, and home v West Brom), but with their goal difference as it is then all would need to be won to overtake us. Hull are two points better off on 34, so they could conceivably get to 43, and their three remaining fixtures are at home to Sunderland, away to Palace (this could be a really significant game, especially if Swansea are still in touch), and finally at home to Tottenham. Palace have 38, and apart from the Hull game, they have two potentially very difficult games in Manchester, although they have a healthy goal difference compared to others in the bottom half.

Taking all of this into account then 39 points is likely to be enough, but it is still disappointing to be facing three potentially difficult games to finish our season, and still have an outside chance of relegation. It was therefore important for us to pick up six points from our last four unbeaten games, and the draw at Stoke could turn out to be the one that took us to safety. It is amusing to look at the contrasting ways our recent form has been described. Unbeaten in four games sounds quite good, but one win in the last eleven games does not.

I thought that Swansea were very unlucky to only get a draw at Old Trafford, where yet another dubious penalty decision (I say dubious, but I really think diabolical) was awarded to the home side. The referee took his time before giving the decision and then got it wrong. They really shouldn’t guess in these circumstances, and if they are not sure then they shouldn’t give it. Sigurdsson’s free kick to equalise was sublime. Now that is one player I’d like to see in our team next season, as opposed to so many that we are allegedly linked with, but I guess he will have a number of suitors if Swansea go down, and I’m not sure that we are an attractive enough proposition for such a talented player.

So we move on to face an in-form Tottenham side on Friday night. Whoever decided that this was a suitable game to be moved to a Friday night for television purposes just doesn’t have any real idea about the animosity of the fans towards each other. I’m amazed that the police were in agreement to the switch, and I anticipate a large contingent there to try to ensure it goes off without any real issues. However, I am looking forward to my penultimate visit to the London Stadium this season as I had another engagement on Saturday afternoon; so for purely personal reasons I am pleased with the change of day. This is our twenty-first season in the Premier League, and after the point we picked up at Stoke we have now collected 998 points in the 803 games we have played to date. It would be nice to reach 1000 in the game against our North London neighbours. What are the chances?

5 Lessons from the Stalemate @ Stoke

West Ham stagger towards the finishing line one point at a time.

Not So Super Saturday

The self-styled best league in the world managed to serve up a complete boxed set of drab fixtures for a Saturday afternoon. Despite Leicester’s unexpected success last season there has been a return to predictability where the sole objective of 70% of clubs is merely to survive to live another year in the money generating environment of the top flight. Generally, it does not make for great entertainment and I get a sense that the overseas broadcasters are making a gradual move to the Bundesliga for their routine everyday football coverage. The Premier League is becoming more and more like La Liga where interest beyond a limited number of glamour clubs is minimal, and when games are more about attrition than entertainment then it is not surprising that appeal does not extend to a wider audience. As our game at Stoke progressed yesterday it was apparent that the priority of both sides was to preserve the point they started the day with rather than striving for more.

Four Unbeaten

I guess that after losing five games on the bounce then a sequence of four without defeat has to be seen as a positive. The six points earned in those games against Swansea, Sunderland, Everton and Stoke are probably enough to keep West Ham safe. I have not seen anything in the performances to convince me that things have been turned around or that the ship has been steadied but it is an improvement of sorts. Two cleans sheets in a row is not a regular West Ham phenomenon and it may well be that Bilic has accidentally and belatedly stumbled on a way to organise his defensive resources. Listening to some debate after Sunderland’s demise on the position of David Moyes it was interested to hear a reasonable level of support for the Scot. The argument being that Sunderland have lived for so long on the brink and focusing on short-term survival that time is required for someone to perform surgical rebuilding. This is the great danger arising from our own lack of progress this season where there is no clear style of play and stuffing the squad with older or journeyman players. Only a forward looking plan can elevate us above the relegation haunted pack on an ongoing basis.

Three to Go and Still Not Safe

With three games to play West Ham are yet to be mathematically safe. The points cushion plus goal difference should be enough but when the number of clubs below you (who are still able to catch up) becomes fewer it is not the time to stop looking very carefully over your shoulder. Past performance may suggest that both Hull and Swansea are unlikely to embark on sudden winning sprees but, as we are always reminded, past performance is not necessarily a predictor of future results. Swansea getting something out of their visit to Old Trafford today would certainly bring the cats and pigeons in a proximity that is too close for comfort. The overall table has a very lopsided shape to it with fourteen points separating 7th from 8th but only six points separating 8th from 16th. Theoretically a top ten finish is still possible for the Hammers although 16th or 17^th seems a more likely outcome.

Team Selection

In the circumstances of who was available, the starting lineup yesterday almost made sense. It has been reported that Diafra Sakho’s absence was due to (another) back injury (and not a Di Canio style travel sickness) and with Andy Carroll also absent we were lumbered once again with Jonathan Calleri. What Calleri has to offer remains a mystery to me and why he is preferred over Ashley Fletcher despite contributing little is puzzling. Some claim that Calleri runs around a lot but that is no more a rational for selection than being born in Canning Town. At least Calleri’s inappropriate rabona introduced some lighthearted comedy value into the game. Nordtveit and Kouyate in central midfield did much to protect the defence and the three central defenders were all solid, including a man of the match performance from Winston Reid. Personally, I thought Fernandes did well enough out of position at right wing-back but I still may have been tempted to have gone with Sam Byram.

Those Wacky Substitutions

Slaven Bilic has built up a reputation for his game changing substitutions. Unfortunately these have a close correlation with the reputation for losing points from a winning position. It seems that the Cresswell for Masuaku was due to injury so no real complaints with that one but the later changes were strange to say the least. Ayew looked to be our greatest goal threat so the decision to replace him, rather than Calleri, was odd enough but bringing on Noble as the replacement only compounded it. It effectively removed any notion that we would try to win the game and handed the initiative firmly to Stoke. Ending the game with no strikers at all only added to the negativity even if the game was petering out by then and replacing Calleri with Snodgrass was hardly likely to make matters worse.

Matchday: Hammers to smash Potters?

The battle for mid-table supremacy is at stake in this mouthwatering end of season encounter.

Matchday Stoke If it wasn’t for the remote mathematical possibility that either of these two sides could still be relegated then this match would be about as pointless as they come. In fact the fixture computer has come up with a set of Saturday matches so uninspiring that an afternoon spent in the shed sorting your tools into alphabetical order sounds a more attractive proposition. Today’s five Premier League matches feature only two teams from the top half of the table.

It could be pointed out that merit based payments mean an extra £2 million per league placing but I doubt that this is much of a motivating factor for the average minted footballer. If there is only pride to play for then it could be a very drab ninety minutes, even though Slav insists that we are treating every game like a cup final (if anyone can remember what one of those is like!).

People are talking about who is safe but it is irrelevant. We have four games left, a big game on Saturday and we are looking for points. There is a gap between us and mid-table, it is a small gap but with four games to go we are talking about 12 points and we have to concentrate on our next game. We are approaching them as four cup finals.

– Slaven Bilic is looking for points

The supercomputer at Euro Club Index has crunched the numbers and by their reckoning we will finish the season in 15^th place with 42 points, two points and four places below today’s opponents at the blandly dubbed bet365 stadium. The computer further concludes a 29% chance of a West Ham victory this afternoon, without which the opportunity to accumulate the predicted end of season total of 42 points appears improbable.

Head to Head

With Stoke situated close to the unhappy hunting grounds of the north-west it is unsurprising that we have a second rate record from our visits over the years, having won just ten times from thirty eight attempts. The last three away victories, all by the only goal of the game, came in 2005 (Bobby Zamora), 2009 (Diego Tristan) and 2013 (Jack Collison). Despite West Ham’s striker woes, the Hammers have only failed to score in three away matches this season (Arsenal, Everton and Leicester) so perhaps another solid defensive display will allow us to sneak one more one-nil success.

Team News

Mark Noble and Sam Byram return to the squad after suspension and apparently Robert Snodgrass and Sofiane Feghouli are also available again (if anyone is interested). On the other hand Cheikhou Kouyate, Winston Reid, Arthur Masuaku and Diafra Sakho are all reported as injury doubts for the Hammers.

If everyone was available my only change would be Sakho for the hapless Jonathan Calleri and, maybe, Byram in for Edmilson Fernandes. I would stick with Havard Nordtveit and Kouyate in central midfield as the Kouyate/ Noble partnership has proved not to work on countless occasions and Nordtveit/ Noble would be criminally slow. I fully expect, however, that Noble will be back in the starting eleven.

The mood’s fine. We’re looking forward to the game tomorrow. It’s an important one for us clearly.

– Mark Hughes in inspiring form

Stoke may be missing Jon Walters who has regularly been a thorn in the side of West Ham and for the determinists/ fatalists among us the disturbing fact that Saido Berahino has scored in three of his four previous starts against West Ham but hasn’t scored a Premier League goal since February 27th 2016 will have the alarm bells ringing.

The Man in the Middle

Appropriately for West Ham, it is injury prone Lee Probert from Wiltshire refereeing today’s game. Probert missed all last season due to injury and takes charge of only his second Premier League game of 2016/17. His last meeting with the Hammers was in the unforgettable 3-0 victory at White Hart Lane in 2013. In a grand total of twenty eight games this season he has issued a conservative sixty four yellow and four red cards.

I Wouldn’t Bet On It 40

A change in approach.

Fancy A Bet What a season to choose to bet on West Ham! The sheer unpredictability of our team, and our ability to throw away more points from a winning position than any other team in the Premier League has been our downfall, and is a lesson in not to bet on them. Our loss last week meant that our running total is now down to minus 99 points for the season. Fortunately I have got some more funds to invest, so this week I am going to try something different. I am going to bet on us to lose the game at Stoke. I really don’t mind losing the bet if it brings about a change of fortune in our results.

Stoke are 11/10 to win the game, and though they have not had the best run of results lately I am going to stake 40 points on them to beat us. They are also 11/4 to win the game to nil, and with our lack of firepower I believe (unfortunately) that this is a good bet too.

40 points at 11/10 on Stoke to beat West Ham (84)
20 points on Stoke to win the game to nil @11/4 (75)

By staking 60 points on the game then this brings our balance down to minus 159 points. I really hope that I lose the bet and we get something out of the game. But if we don’t there is a minor consolation of a winning bet or two. In fact if Stoke do win the game and we fail to score then our return would be 159 points, and would wipe out our deficit entirely.

Not sensible betting I know, but I can’t lose can I? If we lose the game then I win with the bet, and if we get a draw or win, then that will bring us closer to safety.

The potential returns are in brackets. What are the chances?