Under The Hammers

On The Third Day Of Christmas: Will My True-Loves Send Me Three Away Points

West Ham seek to improve on their unimpressive record of just three wins from the last sixteen visits to the home of the Saints.

A week is a long time in football. It has been a week in which West Ham’s unlikely European ambitions suffered a reality check; and where it was all change at the top with Liverpool suddenly six points clear and Manchester City dropping down to third. It will now take all of Guardiola’s legendary man-management skills to go out and buy a brand new £200 million defence in the January sales.

Having been denied a traditional Boxing Day fixture, the Hammers travel to the south coast to face Southampton in the televised Cinderella match. The challenge of keeping sufficient beer, nuts and mince pies in reserve has been a difficult one. The useless OPTA stat of the night is that if Charlie Austin manages to find the net (highly likely) then he will have scored a Premier League goal on every day of the week – apparently becoming the 26^th player to do so!

A little while back this game could be viewed as one component of an eminently winnable run for the Hammers that would see them surge into the top half of the table. The Saints were a struggling, dispirited side, . However, since the appointment of Ralph Hasenhuttl (a name that will quickly become a commentators favourite alongside Nuno Espirito Santo) there has been a rapid resurgence in Southampton fortunes. Their win against Arsenal was largely down to weak defending by the Gunners but having followed that up with a win against Huddersfield, they will be full of confidence. The home side’s lowly position, in any case, was entirely down to the ludicrous decision to appoint serial failure Mark Hughes as manager (who makes these decisions?) and it is difficult to look beyond Huddersfield, Burnley and Fulham for the relegation places.

Injury problems continue to plague West Ham and, although there is some talk of a Marko Arnautovic return, it would be a huge surprise if he turned out tonight. Assuming that Fabian Balbuena is unavailable then his replacement by Angelo Ogbonna may well be the only change from the side that started against Watford. In an ideal world, Manuel Pellegrini would probably like to rest some of the older legs (and even the younger ones) but he has limited scope to do so.

The most recent West Ham match refereed by tonight’s man-in-the-middle, Craig Pawson (South Yorkshire), ended in an 8-0 over Macclesfield in the EFL Cup. What chance of a re-run tonight? After an early season red mist where he made three dismissals in his first four games, Pawson has settled down to become an enthusiastic yellow card issuer only.

Sky Sport’s pundit Paul Merson is expecting a Christmas cracker of a 2-2 draw while Lawro (the BBC Football Expert as he likes to think of himself), fresh from correctly forecasting the West Ham – Watford score, has another 2-0 defeat in mind for the Hammers.

Volatility is the preserve of every football fan. In this world, our team can swing from unbeatable to clueless in the blink of an eye, and with it expectations from tonight’s match have been significantly downgraded. I am sure that things remain on a much more even keel in the dressing room and that, as we speak, Pellegrini is devising a cunning plan on his chalkboard and Powerpoint flip charts to take the wind out of Southampton’s sails. The worry is that an effective balance in midfield is still elusive for the Hammers and it struggles in both providing support to the defence and acting as a springboard for attacks. The hosts are likely to take advantage of these shortcomings with both Redmond and Ings coming into a run of form.

Despite the manager’s more enterprising approach to the game there are still too many unnecessary, unforced back passes to the keeper for my liking. I have never seen the stats for this and would be interested to see how we compare with others. With Lucasz Fabianski having a pass success rate below 50%, the player in possession might just as well hoof it up-field. With few exceptions, I consider every back pass to the keeper to represent a failure in the team’s ability to create space and opportunity.

I would love to see a win but sense that three points could well be beyond us given the lengthy injury list; a draw would be a creditable return. I am also hoping that the strange free-kick routine – the short pass and stop before putting in a cross – finally pays off tonight.

What are the odds on a West Ham win on the South Coast today?

A win big enough to move up to eighth in the table is priced at 200/1 upwards.

At the conclusion of the Southampton v West Ham game this evening we will have reached the halfway point in the 2018-19 Premier League season. A season that began so disastrously with four defeats in the first four games has turned around significantly, and we find ourselves in twelfth place in the table prior to this game. A defeat or a draw will see us remain in that position, but a win by any score will lift us into the top half of the table. We will be joint ninth with a 1-0 win, and ninth on our own by any other score. I think that even the most optimistic amongst us cannot see us winning by five goals to overtake Everton in eighth position.

We face a Southampton side lifted by the appointment of their new Austrian manager, and the Saints are favourites to win the game with the bookmakers at around 6/5. West Ham are second favourites at 23/10 slightly ahead of the draw at 12/5.

Correct score odds for the most popular scores are:

1-1: 11/2; 2-1: 7/1; 1-0: 15/2; 1-2: 9/1; 2-0: 10/1; 0-0: 10/1; 0-1: 10/1; 2-2: 10/1; 0-2: 14/1

First goalscorer odds:

Ings 4/1; Austin 11/2: Gabbiadini/Chicarito 13/2; Long/Carroll 7/1; Obafemi/Antonio/Perez 15/2.

If you fancy a West Ham defender to score the first goal then Diop or Ogbonna are priced at 45/1; Masuaku at 50/1 and Zabaleta 70/1.

You can get identical prices on scoring the last goal too.

A couple of scorecasts that I like the look at for fun bets are West Ham to win the game 2-1 with the first goal scored by Diop at 265/1 or Masuaku at 310/1. Once again you can get roughly the same odds (or even longer) by substituting the last goal for the first goal and looking around at the various prices being offered by the wide range of bookmakers all offering hundreds of prices.

A win big enough to move up to eighth in the table is priced at 200/1 upwards. It would be good (although extremely unlikely) to achieve that! I’ll just settle for the three points and a position in the top half of the table.

Five Festive Takeaways As West Ham’s Winning Run Shudders To A Halt In Stratford

Then like my top six and fifth win on the trot dreams, they fade and die. An exciting but pointless game precedes the Christmas holidays.

Fairytale Of New Ham

It was nice while it lasted and we all knew that the winning streak had to come to an end at some point. Even so, it was a disappointment that what had started as a dream of a fifth win in a row and spending Christmas in the top six ended with the Hammers slipping back into the bottom half of the table – “you took my dreams from me!” The result aside there was no denying that it was an entertaining and unusually open game in which, without playing particularly well, West Ham might easily have scored four of five goals. Defeat would have been harsh on Watford, however, who by taking the chances presented to them just about edged it on the day.

Last Christmas You Gave Me Joe Hart

Of the sixty-one Hammer Of The Year awards, five had been presented to goalkeepers^* and, although we have yet to reach the halfway stage, Lucasz Fabianski must, at least, be in with a shout of this season’s award. During the summer it was obvious that we needed better than the on-loan former England keeper and the flamboyant but erratic Adrian, but I was less than thrilled when the signing of Fabianski was announced. I am delighted that he has proved my jaundice opinion 100% wrong with a series of fine performances and even finer saves – we gave the keeper’s jersey to someone special. Curiously, Fabianski just trails Joe Hart (69 versus 75) at the top of the most saves made this season Premier League rankings. The save on Saturday from Doucouré was particularly impressive.

The First No-ble

When Andy Carroll was being warmed up early in the second half it came as a big surprise that Mark Noble was the player to be replaced. Not that Noble was playing especially well but because it necessitated several other players shuffling in their positions – Robert Snodgrass dropping deeper and more central while Michail Antonio went out wide right. The subsequent introduction of Grady Diangana (for Javier Hernandez) then required Antonio to return to his more central attacking role. Having needed to make the Angelo Ogbonna for Fabian Balbuena switch in the first half, the sequence of substitutions seemed unnecessarily disruptive to me. A special mention to Ogbonna who put in a solid performance alongside Issa Diop (who played like he had taken one glass of sherry too many at the Christmas party) and also to Arthur Masuaku who was not implicated in either goal and was the top rated West Ham player as far as the whoscored stats website were concerned.

A Christmas Carroll

The return of Marko Arnautovic cannot come too quickly for me – although I appreciate the danger of bringing a player back too quickly. In his absence you can perm any two from Hernandez, Antonio, Andy Carroll and Lucas Perez and end up with a disappointing outcome. Antonio had a good game on Saturday, though, and was twice thwarted by the woodwork – I couldn’t believe that the second didn’t go in – and also caused a lot of problems to the Watford defence, much more like the Antonio of old. Hernandez is anonymous when he isn’t scoring and he let three presentable chances go begging at the weekend. Perez just seems to lack any desire to me which leaves us with the Carroll dilemma. The not-so-secret weapon from the bench creates a wholly one-dimensional approach to our play even if that is not a conscious tactic. Despite his unplayable tag and the encouragement of pundits to hang up the crosses for him to attack, it rarely pays dividends. Granted he is still rusty but how he fits into Manuel Pellegrini’s match plans is a puzzle.

Jingle Bell Crocks

Already runaway leaders at the top of the Physio Room EPL injury table, the Hammers ended the day with Balbuena and Hernandez piling on to the treatment table – making it nine senior players in total out of action. While Hernandez may be back available this week, the injury to Balbuena is looking more worrying. I’m sure it is not imagination that West Ham suffer more than their fair share of injuries although there seems no rhyme nor reason why this should be the case. Although there are a few players in the squad who could be classed as injury prone, injuries have been spread around, having occurred during matches, in training and away on international duty. I have often suspected that the club’s below par training facilities are part of the problem but that is not going to change anytime soon. In the meantime, I hope that a Value Pack of Magic Sponges is high on the club doctors Christmas wish list for an injury free New Year.

I would like to end by wishing everyone the happiest of Christmases and a very prosperous 2019.

* Lawrie Leslie (1962), Phil Parkes (1981), Ludek Miklosko (1991), Shaka Hislop (1999), Robert Green (2008)

Saturday Night Will Be Alright When West Ham Step Into Christmas With A Fifth Straight Win

I’ve made a list and have checked it twice. West Ham really are on course for a fifth straight Premier League win and a shot at Europe.

I know that it is tempting fate to count your turkeys before they hatch and by making bold predictions , but if there is any time of the season to be jolly then this is surely it. “Oh what fun it’s been to see West Ham win away” over the past few weeks and just as enjoyable to put together a run at the London Stadium!. The bells have been well and truly jingling as the Hammers glided smoothly into the top half of the table. And what fun it is to finally have a manager whose first priority is to win the game rather than not to lose it.

It is not just the four straight wins that is cause for optimism, but the overall record since that difficult opening to the season: twenty-four points from thirteen games is a commendable return for any team outside the top two. And even though experience foretells of disappointments between now and the end of the season, it is a refreshing change to go into games with a touch of swagger, a stocking full of confidence and wild dreams of success (and I don’t mean Isaac!)

Of course, there are no easy games in the Premier League (well, not now that Mourinho has left Manchester United) and Watford will be no pushovers. The Hornets had a flying start to the season, experienced something of a stutter but got back to winning ways last weekend. They have very fine players in Pereyra, Doucouré and Holebas while Deulofeu, on his day, is the type of player that typically causes problems for a West Ham defence that remains vulnerable down both flanks.

Under head coach, Javi Gracia (a former Malaga manager like Manuel Pellegrini and surely due a Vicarage Road long service award anytime soon) the Hornets play a pacey, incisive passing game and there will be no room for complacency or that trademark slow start to the game. Watford do not have a strong away record, however, having won only three on the road in their last twenty attempts. A third successive win at the London Stadium for the Hammers can hopefully make it a bleak mid-winter for the visitors.

The afternoon also sees an appropriate seasonal return of two ex-West Ham pantomime villains in Scott Duxbury and Domingos Quina (oh, no it doesn’t –editor!) Duxbury was a leading light in the infamous mismanaged Tevez affair while Quina was a troublesome former academy player who has been tipped for great things in the game – a modern day Ravel Morrison, perhaps.

With little change in the West Ham injury situation, Pellegrini has limited room for manouevre in his team selection, even though he may be considering the need to rest the ageing legs of Pablo Zabaleta and Mark Noble during the busy holiday schedule. Apart from that it is the usual conundrum of who partners Javier Hernandez up front and who plays at left back. With Andy Carroll still lacking match fitness (and Lucas Perez not being very good) it is probable that Michail Antonio will deservedly keep his place in attack rather than being asked to cover at right back.

The Aaron Cresswell or Arthur Masuaku left back debate continues to rumble on. While our hugely experienced manager prefers to opt for Arthur, the majority of vociferous supporters mostly come down on the side of Cresswell. One theory, from a club insider, is that Pellegrini had been informed that Crossrail was very late and expensive and the Chilean had become confused.

Today’s referee is Lee Mason from Lancashire making his West Ham seasonal debut. From sixteen games, Mason has brandished forty-three yellow cards and a single red one – sending off Watford’s Kabasele in an EFL cup encounter against Tottenham.

The final game before Christmas never fails to remind me of that bitterly cold Friday night in 1979 when just over 11,000 of us turned out to see West Ham play Cambridge in the old second division. With parts of the game obscured by a blizzard, the enduring memory is supporters keeping warm at half-time by dancing on the terraces to Mike Oldfield’s In Dulci Jubilo.

The wise men of punditry have a difference of opinion on today’s game. Merson goes for gold with a predicted 3-1 Hammers win while Lawro makes do with myrrh (or should that be mirth) with a 2-0 Watford victory. Lawro is convinced that the Hammers run must come to end having also predicted a Fulham win last weekend. Myself, I have already written down West Ham 4 Watford 1 in a letter and sent it to the North Pole. So, Santa, provided that your sleigh is not grounded due to low flying drones please deliver three more points to the London Stadium. We haven’t been naughty much this year – promise!

After eliminating the Watford Gap much quicker than might have been expected, West Ham entertain the Hornets.

We’ve done well in our games against flying creatures in December, can we continue the run and fly to even greater heights, or will we be stung just before Christmas?

I’ll begin my preview of this weekend’s game by repeating parts of my preview to the Newcastle game that I wrote just three weeks ago as we began the last month of 2018 and the run up to Christmas.

“As we reach December 1, the beginning of meteorological winter, we begin a run of eight matches in 33 days, that will possibly define the eventual outcome of our season. A look at the current league table reveals that, on paper at least, the forthcoming 720 minutes (plus time added on of course), will see us facing as easy a group of fixtures that we could hope for. Now this is unpredictable West Ham we are talking about, so although they may look like very winnable fixtures, those of us who have followed the team throughout the years know that this may very well not be the case.

Starting today we face (A) Newcastle (13^th), (H) Cardiff (15^th), (H) Palace (17^th), (A) Fulham (20^th), (H) Watford (9^th), (A) Southampton (19^th), (A) Burnley (18^th), (H) Brighton (12^th). At the moment we sit in 14^th position on 12 points, so 24 points from these games will put us on 36 points, which will be above Manchester City if they lose their next 8 games. OK, so I know that anything like that is not remotely going to happen, (City could well be on 59 points at that time), but wouldn’t it be good to put together some back to back wins to propel us up the league table. When was the last time we won even two games in a row? Will this be the first game of an eight match winning run? I suspect you could get very long odds on that happening!”

Incredibly we are half way there! With four games of this season gone, we trailed today’s opponents by 12 points. As is often repeated, we lost our opening four games, whereas Watford were victorious in all four (admittedly three at home) against Brighton, Burnley, Palace and Tottenham. The gap was 12 points. What odds were on offer at that time, on us going into today’s game with both of us sitting in the top half of the table, with Watford below us? It would have been similar to the long odds mentioned before I suspect. And we’ve done it with a lengthy injury list too!

In fact, both Watford and ourselves have virtually identical records in the 17 games that we have each played to date. We’ve both won 7, drawn 3, lost 7, and have conceded 25 goals. The only difference is that Watford have scored 23, whereas we have 2 more, and as a result do not have a negative goal difference. This game, and the one on 27 December at St Mary’s, will take us up to the half way point of the season, and barring a calamitous run of results, I think we can safely say that we will not have to look over our shoulders any more. The positivity from all quarters is such that European qualification is now a distinct possibility, and that was not the case a few weeks ago.

I don’t think that we were at our best against Fulham last weekend but the win was comfortable without us needing to find the higher gears. Even without the talismanic Arnie, the team as a whole has been playing well, and they have reminded me to some extent of the West Ham I witnessed in the 1960s and 1970s. We look good going forward, the chances are being created and taken, but we can still be vulnerable and concede silly goals. And yet generally the defence has been playing well. Balbuena and Diop have formed the best central defensive partnership in many years, Zabaleta continues to defy his age and has played some excellent matches recently, and behind them the safest keeper I can remember since the days of Phil Parkes. Teams that attack the left hand side of our defence know what they are doing and that for me is the weakest part of the team.

I read someone on social media asking who our fans thought would end up as Hammer of the Year at the end of the season. There is still a long way to go, but the most pleasing aspect was the variety of responses from so many people which suggests that many players are doing well. There were numerous shouts for Fabianski, Zabaleta, Diop, Balbuena, Rice, Snodgrass, Noble, and Anderson, with not a single mention of Arnie. That would have been hard to believe a few weeks ago. But if Arnie comes back and adds his name to that list then we will almost certainly have had quite a season. Additionally, Antonio is beginning to look more like the player of a couple of seasons ago, and Hernandez is playing with the confidence that scoring goals brings to a natural goalscorer.

Side-tracking for a moment, I’m a bit of a traditionalist. I like my football on a Saturday, roast beef on Sunday, all right (could be the lyrics of a song!). In case you haven’t noticed some fixtures in February have been moved for the benefit of TV. So, if like me your favourite kick off time is 3pm on a Saturday, make the most of this weekend’s fixture, because there won’t be another home league game kicking off at 3pm on a Saturday until at least March next year!

Back to the game, with two teams equally balanced on the basis of the league table, then the odds reflect this. West Ham are around 13/10 to win the game, with Watford at 2/1, and 23/10 for the draw. Our historical record against Watford is one of overwhelming superiority, and in approaching 70 league games in more than a century, we have beaten them more than twice as many times as they have beaten us. I believe that in that time they have only won 3 league matches on our ground.

Of course there was the infamous 4-2 defeat in 2016 when we threw away a two goal lead and were accused of showboating by Mr. Deeney. Although that game was only just over two years ago, only Noble, Masuaku and Antonio of the 14 players on duty that day are likely to be in our starting eleven for this game! Our last league defeat at home to them before then was in 2007, but that game ended a sequence of 19 league games from April 1985, when we were unbeaten against Watford, winning 16 and drawing 3.

Historically, football matches played on the last Saturday before Christmas were played in front of lower crowds than usual; the theory was that a number of people did their last minute Christmas shopping on that day. The world has changed since those days with extended shopping hours. I can often remember us losing many of those pre-Christmas matches but there were some notable wins, for example a couple over Tottenham in the 1960s. In the mid-1970s I can recall Billy Jennings scoring a hat-trick in a pre-Christmas game, and both Tony Cottee and Paulo Di Canio scoring in those games too in later years.

In our last Saturday game before Christmas in 2011 (the season we were promoted back to the Premier League under Big Sam) we beat Barnsley 1-0 in a Championship game at Upton Park in front of almost 35,000 spectators. Our goalscorer that day had the last name of Diop. Not Issa of course, but Papa Bouba (remember him?). I’ll be continuing with my fun bets on Issa Diop to score the last goal of the game where very long odds are on offer. One of these weeks it will happen!

History counts for nothing and this could be a close, perhaps high scoring encounter. I’ll take us to win 3-2 with Diop heading home a corner for the winning goal. A merry Christmas and a happy New Year to West Ham fans everywhere! A fifth straight win would be a nice Christmas present for us all!

Stuck In The Middle With MU: Five Takeaways From West Ham’s Rapid Rise Up The Table

As winning becomes a habit with victory at Fulham, West Ham have their sights set on sixth place and Europe. How far and how long can this unusual situation go on for?

The High Fives And Middle Eight

At completion of the latest round of Premier League matches, the two horse race continues to pull clear in the top five while compression in the middle eight becomes more congested. Just five points separate sixth from thirteenth with barely any daylight between the goal differences – West Ham are one of four clubs with a zero goal difference as they effortlessly moved to within two points of sixth place. The Hammers are currently one of the league’s form teams and their record, following the opening four match wipeout, is approaching an impressive two points per game. A comparison with the 2015/16 season shows that West Ham are one point worse off at the same stage this time around – although back then the team were right in the middle of a seven game Payet-less win-less streak. The weekend also saw the Hammers surrender their position at the top of the Premier League most defeats ever table as Everton once again regained the lead.

Funny Old Game

It was an unusual game on Saturday and one from which it is difficult to draw too many conclusions. A better team than Fulham may well have punished the Hammers during the opening exchanges where the hosts were gifted a handful of acceptable chances which were fortunately squandered. West Ham then scored two breakaway goals against the run of play, both set up by Felipe Anderson, which effectively ended the game as a contest. Having earned the two goal cushion West Ham were in complete command and the second half was a monumental non-event. Anderson’s late effort being, I believe, the only shot on target during that period. Manual Pellegrini said that the team had played well, but they had taken the lead without playing particularly well and then managing the game without needing to play well – keeping a clean sheet through efficiency rather than enterprise. As they say, though, “you can only beat what is front of you”, and a fourth successive win is more than welcome as a pre-Christmas gift.

Where Do We Go From Here?

In 2015/15, the team had reached 29 points by the halfway stage and 62 by the end of the season. It is going to be interesting to see how Pellegrini’s boys perform against this benchmark. A relatively benign set of fixtures continues for a few games yet until they come up against Arsenal in mid-January. Extrapolating the current points to games ratio for the entire season would take West Ham to 53 points but to 70 points if the first four games were disregarded. Now that the side has become much more settled and the players understand better what is expected of them, there is cause for optimism – but whether it is sufficient for the Hammers to claim a best of the rest sixth place, only time will tell. At the moment it is West Ham and Wolves who are the form teams in the chasing pack but previously it had been Everton, Watford and Bournemouth. No doubt Manchester United will again be throwing the cash around during the transfer window (in a desperate attempt to hold on to sixth) but their problems look too deeply embedded to be solved by a few extra high priced signings.

Through To The Transfer Window

With only fourteen shopping days left until the transfer window it is time for the reckless and unfounded speculation to ramp up once again. Pellegrini has been reported as saying that he is happy with squad (which must be music to the owner’s ears) but it is still a squad that is heavily hit by injuries. It is highly unlikely that we will see anything of Manuel Lanzini, Andriy Yarmolenko or Winston Reid this season, leaving only Marko Arnautovic and Jack Wilshere of what I would call regular first-teamers to return to the fold. January is always a notoriously difficult time to get good value and a team sitting comfortably in mid-table might be disinclined to invest heavily. It may well depend on how important for the Board’s income and egos the securing of European football is seen to be. Burnley are a fine example of why getting into Europe isn’t always the bonus it might seem for clubs with fewer resources. While a case could be made for strengthening both in central midfield and at full-back it would be no surprise if these challenges were deferred to the summer.

Football Is Fun Again

Although myself (and others) occasionally find Pellegrini’s selection decisions and preferences somewhat surprising, I doubt that we can genuinely question his wisdom based on how the season has gone for him so far. The team is set up to play with enterprise and is a far more entertaining watch than for many a long year – possibly back to some of the more cavalier Harry Redknapp days. There is, however, always room for improvement. The defence is prone to being caught square – evidenced by Kamara’s early glorious chance – as they endeavour to play very narrow and set the offside trap. The narrowness of the defence is not consistently matched by an equivalent compactness elsewhere on the pitch – a necessity if opponents are to be denied space to pick out a pass. In possession, we also give the ball away far too cheaply and far too often. Although possession and passing accuracy stats can be misleading I believe the team should be doing better with the players available. On the plus side we have started to score freely and the goals are being shared around. Great to see Robert Snodgrass sweep another one home and have Michail Antonio back on the scoresheet twice in recent weeks. Antonio is looking more like the players from a few seasons back. Life is good, long may it continue.

There’s Only One ‘F’ in Felipe. Hammers Go West For The Quadruple.

Can West Ham’s cottage industry secure a fourth straight Premier League win or do the sequence omens foretell a high scoring draw?

To kick-off this week’s match preview I will set you a simple puzzle. What is the next score in the following sequence: 3-0, 3-1, 3-2,……..? If you are among the 100% that can spot the answer, then you would probably be disappointed should West Ham came away from today’s game against the craven cottagers with only a share of the spoils. A three game winning run builds confidence and expectations and, although we know it has to end somewhere, surely it is not going to be today against the leagues, bottom dwelling hosts. Leaving aside the comparative form of the two clubs, this is traditionally the most profitable of regular London derbies.

Already the league has effectively split into three groups with a top five, bottom seven and middle eight (which lends a rather musical feel to it all). The Hammers sit comfortably in the middle eight – the inconsequential piece in the middle that serves to fill the void between the repetition at the top and the fade out at the end. Still, an outside run at a European place does remain a possibility if the team can continue to demonstrate an engaging freedom of movement in attack.

Fulham, on the other hand, are rock bottom of a very desperate bunch. There may be only one ‘F’ in Fulham and right now it is decidedly looking like the past participle (f*cked!). New manager Claudio Ranieri might be able to dine out for the rest of his days on taking Leicester City to the Premier League title, but his current task, based on what has gone before, may require an even greater miracle. The possible silver lining in a very dark sky for the Cottagers is that they have scored more goals than any other side in the bottom seven – but then again, they have conceded many more, and by some margin. Surely, the rip roaring, free scoring Hammers will have a field day against this frighteningly, flimsy Fulham backline!

The only debate about the West Ham starting eleven centres on whether Aaron Cresswell replaces Arthur Masuaku at left back and who starts up front alongside Javier Hernandez. Any other change to shape and personnel would be a huge surprise. In an ideal world the team wouldn’t concede quite as many goals but that is a difficult issue to address with current squad members and without reducing the attacking threat (and arguably the entertainment value).

The success in recent weeks, although a team effort, has been inspired by the mercurial talent of Felipe Anderson and the energy of Robert Snodgrass. Anderson is now the club’s leading scorer and has attracted wide media attention, including the jackals who believe he is far too good to be plying his trade (or wasting his time in the view of some commentators) at the London Stadium. Snoddy has been the surprise of the season and much of the credit, in addition to his own immense attitude, has to go to Manuel Pellegrini and his coaching team. I discovered by chance that ‘snod’ is a an old Scottish word meaning neat, trim and orderly which would make a Snodgrass someone who prefers a well-tended front lawn.

Pellegrini’s striking dilemma is who out of Lucas Perez, Andy Carroll or Michail Antonio will partner Chicharito from the start? I really don’t see a Hernandez/ Perez offering enough off the ball in terms of mobility and power; while Carroll still resembles Mr Rusty and Antonio has the power but lacks the control. All things considered I would opt for Carroll even in the knowledge that he may not last, stamina wise, for more than a half – he could well cause major chaos for the Fulham defence. Big Andy was complaining in the week that he was tired of all the ‘old crock’ jokes and maybe he now has a chance to prove the doubters wrong by taking better care of himself. My worry is that his style of play will always make him susceptible to knee and ankle impact injuries.

The Fulham side doesn’t look so bad on paper, particularly in attacking areas. I am not a particular fan of Mitrovic who seems little more than a battering ram but he does have seven goals to his name in a struggling team this season. The ‘S’ men in midfield of Seri, Sessegnon and Schurrle would be potentially good players in the right set up although I am not convinced by Chambers in midfield – he is no Declan Rice. One happy piece of news is that West Ham didn’t pursue their reported interest in Mawson (there were repeated links during the summer) who I think is a poor defender at this level – the modern day Roger The Relegator who is firmly on course for a second successive relegation.

We’ve got a Friend refereeing the game today as Kevin from Leicestershire takes charge of his second Hammers game of the season – the first being the disappointing defeat at Brighton in October. Friend is averaging four yellow cards a game over seventeen matches but his only red of the season was the dismissal of Shane Duffy two weeks ago.

A difference of opinion between the pundits this week. Whereas Merson sees the Hammers continuing their fine run with a 3-1 win, Lawro is predicting a surprise 2-1 home win. Provided that West Ham can avoid complacency, over confidence and a slow start they should really win this one at a canter. There should be far too much fire power for the hosts to handle. My heart is confident of a 4-1 win to make it four in a row, but there is also that little voice in my head that is whispering ‘rule out the 3-3 draw that the sequence omens suggests at your peril!’

NOW That’s What I Call Football!: 5 Takeaways From Victory Over Palace

A three match winning run for West Ham but more importantly the fun is back in football. What did we learn from the Hammer’s victory over Crystal Palace?

They’re Flying So High

Three consecutive wins and scoring three goals in each and the team being described as free scoring, maverick, weird and wonderful! It is like West Ham’s Marty McFly moment having traveled back in time to the unpredictable but entertaining days of Greenwood and Lyall. A cornucopia of silky skills, glorious goals, inconsistency, sloppy defending and nervously bitten nails. Periods of rampant, full throttle dominance interspersed, in the blink of an eye, with others of careless, lost concentration. In all probability it will not bring any greater success but after the dark days of the recent past, it is, at last, worth getting out of bed for on a chilly morning to brave the hazards of public transport. Welcome back West Ham! All of a sudden it is great to be a Hammer again with plenty of reasons to be cheerful.

Reasons To Be Cheerful Part 1

The central defensive partnership of Issa Diop and Fabian Balbuena continues to look sound. In fact, they had little to bother them against Palace who lacked any out and out striker. There are concerns, given our vulnerability at set pieces, as to who is meant to be marking who, in that our shortest players are often assigned to deal with the greatest aerial threats. Nevertheless, Diop and Balbuena are developing into one of the best central defensive pairings since Alvin Martin and Tony Gale. The full-back positions remain a priority upgrade, but more likely in the summer than next month. Pablo Zabaleta shows tremendous commitment and is a truly great professional but his legs are not a long term solution. I love to see Arthur Masuaku when he gets forward (some delightful interchanges with Felipe Anderson on Saturday) but we know he is suspect defensively – although suggestions that he is single-handedly responsible for all goals conceded are entirely ludicrous. Following a succession of fine displays, Lucasz Fabianski is so solidly cemented in the number one shirt that there is never any debate as to whether there are other options.

Reasons To Be Cheerful Part 2

Looking at the defensive and central midfield area, the standout successes of the season so far have been the performances of Declan Rice and Robert Snodgrass. Both have surprised me and proved my initial judgements on them to be wildly wrong. I was sceptical that Rice could do an effective job in midfield – seeing him an emergency central defender conversion who might be able to provide protective cover but offer nothing creatively. He has proven to be a far more technical, adaptable and accomplished all-round player than I imagined – even if he was the cause of the failed offside trap for the opening Palace goal. There was one tackle in the first half that was outstanding. Snodgrass has been a revelation. He had never really been on my radar before signing for West Ham and his performances under Bilic were uninspiring to say the least. I fully expected him to return to what I assumed to be his more appropriate level, in the second tier, during the summer. But the new slimmer, fitter, faster Snoddy now fully deserves his starting place on merit and it was great to see him get on the scoresheet. Mark Noble has been a mixed bag for most of the season. The effort is still there but the legs are very heavy. There have been great passes but too many careless ones. This is the position I see and the number one priority if the club are going to spend in January.

Reasons To Be Cheerful Part 3

As suspected the Little Pea/ Lucas Perez partnership lacked the necessary pizzazz. It was no surprise to see Andy Carroll appear after the break although the timing could equally have been due to the hole in Perez’s foot than as a tactical change. Although Carroll still looks too rusty to play for more than parts of a game, his presence certainly shook up Palace and gave them a more difficult problem to deal with. Felipe Anderson is now demonstrating what a super player he is. Far more involved, getting used to the pace and physical aspects of the English game and growing in confidence all of the time. An excellent performance topped off with an amazing goal – when he shaped up to shoot I wondered how he would manage to get it through the goalkeeper’s legs from there but I needn’t have worried. Chicharito remains an enigma. He does very little in the game apart from score but it is goals that win matches. At what point does the balance of goals scored outweigh the absence of team play contribution? A conundrum for Pellegrini to ponder! His goal on Saturday was a perfect example of the poacher’s goal and followed up with a perfect goal celebration. However, despite another three goal haul the return of Marko Arnautovic cannot come soon enough for me.

The Twitterati

Having dragged ourselves up, albeit temporarily, into the top half and accumulated a points tally that would have been unthinkable at the start of September, we can now forget all about the situation at the foot of the table. I also get the impression that an excellent team spirit has been created in the squad and that it is a very together group of players. A tussle for sixth spot with Everton and Manchester United should at least be the new target – even if it will be a difficult one to achieve. The new found optimism has largely muted the long running criticism of the Board and the stadium – even though both may never be loved actually. Despite all the recent positivity there are still those who can’t help themselves but take to Twitter to slag off individual players. I suppose there have also been lunatics, the opinionated and even opinionated lunatics but in the past these voices were laughed at and lost in the crowd. Now the internet and social media gives them a limitless audience (just like me on here, really). The usual, possibly drunken insults are along the lines of ‘waste of space’, ‘stealing a living’, ‘get out of my club’ to whoever this weeks scapegoat is. Of course, everyone is entitled to an opinion but the degree of vitriol about the team you are meant to ‘support’ is difficult to fathom. And shame on the so-called fan pages who chase readership and advertising revenue by cutting and pasting to give oxygen to such inanities.

I’m Dreaming Of A …….. Arthur Masuaku Goal

Never mind about partridges in pear trees, turtle doves and French hens, West Ham’s avian Christmas campaign prepares to follow wins against magpies and bluebirds with victory over the eagles.

In the past, an unwelcome seasonal dilemma was whether to go to the match or help with the family Christmas shopping. In the days before 1994, shops didn’t open on a Sunday either and unless you intended to buy all your presents at a petrol station time was at a premium. Happily, subject to the availability of mobile data or a wifi signal, it is now possible to go online during the half-time interval to buy your loved one a bargain set of festive saucepans or perhaps a stylish facial sauna, from the comfort of your own stadium seat. For balance, I will point out that lady supporters may do likewise to surprise their special man with the great small of Brut or a value pack of Argyll patterned socks.

Meanwhile on the football field, West Ham will be endeavouring to complete a third bird battering on the bounce where, having seen off the Magpies and the Bluebirds, they now face the Eagles from south of the river. Bird themed football clubs are becoming an endangered species in the top flight and it would be no surprise if one of more of these were seen flocking to the Championship next season where birds continue to exist in greater numbers (swans, owls, throstles, robins, peacocks and so on.)

The Hammers are unbeaten in their last six Premier League games against Palace having won three and drawn three. Both matches last season ended in draws and the last Palace win was at Upton Park back in February 2015. Another stat from Premier League games between the two clubs is that the team scoring first has never lost – well apart from that time when the floodlights failed (a televised game in November 1997) where Palace had held a 2-0 lead at one stage before the game was abandoned at 2-2. West Ham won the re-arranged fixture 4-1.

It will be disappointing if we do not improve on the record against Palace this afternoon. As Manuel Pellegrini pointed out at his pre-match press conference, if we could wipe out the first four games of the season, his team would be sitting sixth in the table. While that is impossible to do, there is no reason why the Hammers should not be close to the European places come the end of the year. Yes, I know I am getting ahead myself but what is the point if we can’t dream.

The fly in the West Ham ointment is the enforced absence of Marko Arnautovic. He has been threatening an injury layoff for some time and will now be missing for the next four weeks at least. It is true that Arnie has not been at the top of his game just recently but he brings a strength, power and mobility to the side that is not available elsewhere in the squad. He is an important part of Pellegrini’s plan and is the focal point of most attacking play – he will be badly missed. Because they have both banged in a couple of goals in recent weeks there could be a temptation to consider a Little Pea-Perez partnership up front, but I don’t see how this works in practice – too static and passive to make the required off-the-ball contribution. The alternative are a striking start are Andy Carroll or Michail Antonio while the wildcard is Xande Silva (from the Triple X programme). It might be too soon to give the injury prone Geordie a start but I feel he will get the nod.

The rest of the selection should be self-explanatory with the return of Pablo Zabaleta and Fabian Balbuena to the defence but, otherwise, as you were!

Palace are likely to start with two former Hammers with pretty-boy James Tomkins in defence and the permanently perplexed Cheikhou Kouyate in midfield. It will be a Slug Versus Sloth midfield contest where we can decide whether Mark Noble and Kouyate make more effective opponents than they did team-mates. With Benteke missing the greatest Palace threats will be the dribbling and diving of Zaha and the set pieces of Milivojevic. I believe that by playing Zaha in a central role it gives our defence a better chance of handling the menace than if he was terrorising the full-backs.

Today’s referee is Anthony Taylor from Cheshire who was in charge of West Ham’s season opener at Anfield back in August. He is another referee who loves yellows but is a little more reluctant with the reds.

Pundits Lawro and Merson both see a routine 2-0 win for the Hammers today. Palace will be smarting after the manner of their defeat at Brighton and I think we can expect a very tight encounter against very defensively minded visitors. Roy Hodgson will be looking for a disciplined and organised reaction from his team. A fast start, high intensity, concentration and patience will all be necessary in order to break down the resistance and to avoid any sucker punches. I am currently in hopelessly optimistic mode and confident of another three goal winning performance. Whereas my co-blogger, Richard Bennett, has his money on Issa Diop getting on the score-sheet, but I have a dream that it will be Arthur Masuaku’s turn to add some credit to his flagging popularity balance by nabbing himself the opening goal – perhaps in the style of Frank Lampard at Elland Road.

West Ham Aiming To Fly High Against The Eagles

Will West Ham be “Glad All Over” against Palace today? Will the Hammers nail the Eagles and soar into the top half of the table?

After a comfortable win (despite Neil Warnock’s disbelieving comments) over the Bluebirds of South Wales on Tuesday night, we now have the opportunity to record a third successive win (in our eight game winning streak – it is still a possibility!) and soar into the top half of the Premier League table. All we need to do is beat a Palace team that were woeful on Tuesday away at Brighton and hope that the Seagulls themselves lose at Burnley on Saturday. The other two teams above us, the other W’s in the top flight (Wolves and Watford) who can stop us moving into the top ten, do not play until Sunday or Monday.

In many ways I don’t like to see us meeting opponents who have just had a poor game, because I’ve seen on so many occasions West Ham lose in these circumstances. The “woeful” description I gave earlier was told to me by an avid Palace fan friend who suggested that we would hammer them today. We shall see. Brighton were a goal up when they had a player sent off in the first half, and you would have thought that Palace had a great opportunity against ten men for such a long period. In fact, Brighton had a further player being tended for an injury and were down to nine on the field when they scored a second goal. Manager Roy Hodgson’s face was like thunder throughout the rest of the game, and it remains to be seen if he can motivate them to improve their performance today. But it was only last weekend that Palace themselves hammered Burnley, and the 2-0 score didn’t reflect their total superiority in the game.

Of course we potentially face ex-Hammers Tomkins and Kouyate in this match, although unlike some who have written on social media this week, I am personally not sorry to have lost either of them. But former players can sometimes come back to hurt you, and we must hope that doesn’t happen. Palace sit 15^th in the table with 12 points, six below us, and just three above the three teams in the relegation zone (Southampton, Fulham, and Burnley). Their three victories have come away at Fulham and Huddersfield, and at home to Burnley, and they have shared the spoils with Newcastle and Arsenal at Selhurst Park, and at Old Trafford.

Arnie will be out for around a month it seems, and Perez took his goals well when he came on to replace him shortly before half-time. And of course Carroll has now made a timely return from injury, and if he plays a part in this game we will all be hoping for a repeat of his spectacular goal against Palace in January 2017. Antonio had a good game in his role as a right back but I would expect Zabaleta to return for this match, and in Cresswell’s absence no doubt Masuaku will continue at left back. Ogbonna also did little wrong but I prefer Balbuena to partner Diop.

I would expect to see the following line-up: Fabianski; Zabaleta, Diop, Balbuena, Masuaku; Rice, Noble, Snodgrass; Anderson, Hernandez, Perez. That’s eleven different nationalities if Rice is still Irish! Depending on how the game goes, I would expect Antonio and Carroll to play a part too if they are not in the starting line-up, with other possible involvement from Obiang and Diangana.

Surprisingly, in my opinion, we are not odds-on with the bookies to win the game, and you can get odds of around 5/4 or 6/5 on a West Ham victory. For my fun bets this week I will hope that we continue with our current trend of scoring three goals a game, and will be considering 3-0 (at 18/1) or 3-1 (at 16/1). Cardiff’s late goal on Tuesday ruined my bet on a 3-0 score.

And continuing my belief in Issa Diop to score, I will look at Diop scoring the last goal in a 3-0 win (500/1) or in a 3-1 victory (600/1). For Diop to score a goal at any time in the game you can get 16/1, or to score the first goal of the match (40/1), the last goal of the match (40/1), two or more goals (200/1). I reckon a hat-trick at 2000/1 is unlikely!

Those of us who have supported the team for any length of time will know that we can expect the unexpected. In fact with West Ham we have no idea what to expect. Much has been made in the press about our last two victories being our first back to back wins in the league for almost two years (January 2017). The first of those games was actually against Palace (the second was away at Middlesbrough), but we came back down to earth in our attempt at the hat-trick when we faced Manchester City in the next game.

We had already achieved back to back wins earlier that season with wins at Palace and at home to Sunderland, and we also achieved a hat-trick of league wins in December 2016 (Burnley, Hull and Swansea), so it is not that unusual. We just didn’t manage it last season.

For this week’s trip down memory lane I rummaged through my programme collection to find the game we played at home to Palace on 8 November 1969, almost fifty years ago. This was our first match against these opponents since the 1922-23 season when we met them in Division 2. That was the season we went on to compete in the first Wembley FA Cup Final.

We went into the 1969 game 7^th from the bottom of Division One with Palace three positions and one point below us. Goals from Geoff Hurst and Clyde Best ensured a 2-1 win in front of over 31,000. How many of the players in the first team squad can you recognise from the photo on the front of the programme?