Category: Preview

I Got Them Same Old Claret And Blues: Another Season Of Moyesball Is A Joyless Prospect

Looking past the euphoria of European glory paints a depressing picture of life at the London Stadium. Disillusionment with David Moyes cautious, uninspiring style of play is widespread and overshadowed the excitement of a new season. How long can it last?

Here we are then. A mere 76 days since the last misplaced pass rolled into touch, the 32nd Premier League season is set to kick-off with its opening round of matches. Usually, one of the most eagerly awaited days of the sporting calendar, this year’s buzz is distinctly lacking in optimism in the neighbourhood of E15. For many West Ham fans, the expectancy is on a par with a visit to the dentist.

It is accepted that posterity will present the dramatic last-minute Europa Conference win as the highlight from last season. It will be forever etched in the memory for those who saw it, and in the history books for those who didn’t. But we should not be distracted by one night in Prague in the context of a dreadful Premier League season. It would be the equivalent of enjoying the orchestra playing while the boat is sinking.

Anyone sifting through the wreckage of last season’s league campaign would find little encouragement. Losing 20 games and scoring only 42 goals are among our worst ever returns from a 38-match top flight season. Ironic that a coach who primarily sets up not to lose managed to notch up so many defeats. And of those 42 goals, just 23 came from open play – and only one from a counterattack. The remainder from set pieces and the penalty spot.

Away from home, the team invariably returned home empty handed. Only 12 points won from the 57 available and 70% of games ending in defeat.

Elsewhere, Moyes’ West Ham side often look beaten before a ball is kicked. Nowhere is this more evident than in the continuing dire record against top level opponents. A meagre 2022/23 tally of five points were earned from twelve games against the sides finishing in the top six. And the 16 point total from 20 games against the ten top half teams only looks as flattering as it does courtesy of a double over Fulham and an early season win against a struggling Aston Villa.

But more, much more than this, it is the dismal, dull, depressing, dispiriting football being served up that has alienated a huge proportion of the fan base. What worked well for Moyes a few seasons back when his team briefly operated as an exciting and effective counter attacking unit, was found out once opponents got the measure of how to nullify the threat by pressing high. The manager not having the imagination or flexibility to adapt his game or try something new. If only he could have signed Jesse Lingard!

Claims that a more expansive style of play was attempted at the beginning of last season were never convincing to me. If it was tried, the difference in approach was marginal at best. The promised Red Bull model turned out to be Old Bull. The struggle to integrate new signings put down to individual players failure to adapt rather than poor coaching or stubborn tactics. Bizarrely, dithering due diligence Dave seemed unaware what position Lucas Paqueta played and was surprised it would prove impossible to fit Gianluca Scamacca into his system of play.

What we ended up with was a return to classic Moyesball. Defend deep, get as many bodies behind the ball as possible and never commit too many players forward – the lack of movement and reluctance to create space is at the heart of our poor possession and passing statistics in my opinion. The attacking masterplan revolves around long hopeful balls for Michail Antonio to chase, long cross-field passes, pumping as many crosses into the box as possible (even if there is no-one to receive them), optimistic long range shots and .……. set pieces! The fans hate it, the players are said to be dissatisfied, and members of the coaching staff have left because of it. Unfortunately, those in the Boardroom appear to view things very differently.

Preparation for the new season has been way less than perfect. As expected Declan Rice left the club – after 250 appearances – to pursue his dreams of glory in north London. It would be foolish not to recognise the importance of Rice in a team that barely escaped relegation in May. His contribution was far greater than defensive midfielder and he outperformed his colleagues on distance covered, carries, shot creation, tackles, and interceptions. This will be a difficult act to follow.

The quagmire of West Ham’s recruitment strategy has already been widely documented – and soundly ridiculed. The standoff between Moyes and Tim Steidten was finally broken yesterday with the signing of Mexican international, Edson Alvarez. This looks to be a good (even exciting) addition to the squad if deployed correctly. The assumption is that Alvarez is a Steidten choice, so how Moyes uses him will be illuminating.

The two other transfers that may or may not be edging towards completion are a closer fit to the solid, dependable proven Premier League player criteria favoured by David Moyes. These are Harry Maguire and James Ward Prowse. Neither particularly excites me. It’s not that they are bad players, rather that they represent the promise of more of the same, old-school, tedious tactics from Moyes. At £30 million apiece (plus wages) they may keep the manager in a job for a while longer, but do they offer long-term value for the club? West Ham already had one of the oldest and slowest squads in the league and these two do nothing to address those shortcomings. It’s no surprise no other clubs appear to be interested at those prices.

Leaving the bulk of your transfer activity to after the season has started is an absurdity. It serves to reinforce the amateur nature of the club’s operation. The squad is now so thin that it needs a minimum four or five new recruits to bring it up to competitive strength – and that’s without any allowances for further potential exits, such as Paqueta, Antonio and Aaron Cresswell. If that level of recruitment cannot happen we will be left with an inadequate headcount for the first half of the season.

We are short at full-back where no-one has the requisite pace, energy or delivery to get forward on the right, and where all options are defensively suspect on the left. We are short in the attacking areas of midfield with no-one capable of carrying the ball or beating an opponent, there will be an absence of flair and the ability to pick a pass if we lose Paqueta, and are lacking pace on the left-hand side. But most importantly, we are woefully short upfront. True, the striker problem has been a perennial issue at West Ham for all the Premier League era but it’s goals that win matches, and where are they going to come from in the current squad? Antonio has had his day at West Ham, Danny Ings is not suited to the Moyes style of play, and Divin Mubama is unproven and without experience. Can the chestnut be really ignored for another season?

Tomorrow’s match against Bournemouth is almost an afterthought with all the commotion surrounding transfers, or lack thereof. It sees the Hammers return to scene of their very last away win in April 2023 when they breezed to a comfortable 4-0 victory on the south coast. It was the last point won on the road.

This time around, Bournemouth will be something of an unknown quantity. Demonstrating that football is no place for sentiment when you have a specific goal in mind, the new Bournemouth Chairman relieved saviour Gary O’Neil of his duties and replaced him with Andoni Iraola. Iraola had seen success with unfashionable Rayo Vallecano, winning promotion to La Liga followed by two commendable mid-table finishes. He is seen as a young, progressive, attack-minded manager.

The Cherries have been busy in transfer market bringing in half a dozen new players including two who had previously been linked with the Hammers – Alex Scott from Bristol City and Max Aarons from Norwich. They have also signed Hungarian left back Milos Kerkez who played against West Ham for Alkmaar and who I hoped we might have been in for. The one significant outgoing is Jefferson Lerma to Crystal Palace.

Many unknowns regarding how the Hammers might line up. The assumption is that Alvarez is the only new signing registered in time, but it would be very un-Moyes-like to throw him in straight away. If the Paqueta to Manchester City rumours have any foundation, is he in the right frame of mind to be included? Similarly for Antonio and Cresswell who may also be on their way. If the performance is anything like the last two friendlies at Rennes and Leverkusen, it will be a very anxious afternoon. The only chink of light is that Bournemouth have done little to tighten a very leaky defence.

For what it’s worth, below is my final Premier League table prediction. The rationale for putting West Ham as high as 12th is that there will be a change of manager before the end of the year. I can’t see past a very slow start, starting tomorrow. COYI!

1 Manchester City, 2 Arsenal, 3 Chelsea, 4 Manchester United, 5 Newcastle United, 6 Aston Villa, 7 Liverpool, 8 Brighton & Hove Albion, 9 Tottenham Hotspur, 10 Brentford, 11 Crystal Palace, 12 West Ham United, 13 Fulham, 14 Everton, 15 Bournemouth, 16 Burnley, 17 Wolverhampton Wanderers, 18 Nottingham Forest, 19 Sheffield United, 20 Luton Town

Have West Ham’s bubbles burst before the season has even begun?

The euphoria of our European success is just a distant memory as the club are mocked by a pizza company

It is barely two months since Lucas Paqueta’s superb through ball in the ninetieth minute put Jarrod Bowen clear on goal for a winner that produced our greatest moment since 1980 when we lifted the Europa Conference League trophy. Surely that should have been a catalyst for the club to build upon? But what has happened since has induced the biggest bout of pessimism amongst most West Ham fans before a ball has been kicked in anger that I can remember. And my memories go back to the late 1950s.

Of course we didn’t have the internet at that time but even then you could sense that there was optimism amongst supporters as a new season dawned that this was going to be “our year”. It’s something that I haven’t recognised at all this time as I scoured the West Ham groups for a sense of current feelings. These groups have always had their fair share of moaners even in the good times, but these were balanced by alternative (positive / optimistic) views. I have found very few who seem to believe that we are in a good place at the start of this campaign.

It didn’t take long for everything to begin to unravel as the players headed for their holidays after the euphoria of the European success. Within days we lost two first team coaches in Mark Warburton and the highly rated Paul Nevin. A clash of footballing philosophies with David Moyes? Not a good start to the summer.

Never mind, by early July Tim Steidten joined the club as technical director. Our chairman David Sullivan believed that this would drive the football strategy of the club in a forward direction. I cannot see any evidence of this yet. To me the club has engaged reverse gear. Of course, you never know what to believe when you read social media or the press, but one view is that Moyes and Steidten are at loggerheads. Moyes, whose future relies largely on short term results apparently wants to buy tried British players first before spending any surplus on longer term, perhaps younger prospects from abroad. Steidten on the other hand has the opposite view and some have claimed he has blocked Moyes attempted buys. Alternatively, some reports claim that he and Moyes are best buddies in full agreement as to how to take the club forward. Who knows? I do wonder how the types of players Steidten has in mind would fit with the Moyes way of playing?

Within a couple of weeks of Steidten’s appointment the long running saga of Rice to Arsenal was finally over. Surely nobody believed he would be staying? Surely the club would have a plan in place to replace him and all would become evident as soon as the transfer was completed, and in good time before the new season began? This is West Ham remember!

With just seven days to go before the serious business of the Premier League began we faced Bayer Leverkusen in the final pre-season warm up game. The Germans, managed by Xabi Alonso, finished sixth in the Bundesliga last season (level on points with Eintracht Frankfurt – remember them?) and qualified for the Europa League (like ourselves). This would surely be a good test to see how ready we were for the new season. We were comprehensively outplayed and lost 4-0, sending West Ham fans on social media into overdrive.

By Monday afternoon, just five days before kick-off I looked on NewsNow (always good for entertainment!) to see if there were any transfer developments on any of the 88 players that we have been supposedly interested in this window. You know the ones, the ‘incredible’ 29yo, the ‘exceptional’ magician, the ‘unbelievable’ powerhouse, the ‘monster’, the ‘brilliant’ midfielder. It seems that Edson Alvarez is close at this time, and Ward-Prowse, Maguire and McTominay continually feature but I don’t believe anything I read until the West Ham website shows a new recruit with crossed arms in a claret and blue shirt.

Saturday’s Daily Mail quoted a tweet (or is it now an X?) from Domino’s Pizza – ‘Just Had West Ham come in again …. and not buy anything’

It seems hard to believe that anybody new will be here in time to feature on Saturday. The window continues for a while yet but how much better would it be to get our business done before the season begins? Remember the start we had last season? Three losses in the first three games, bottom of the pile and playing catch up for months while our new players were slowly integrated into the team. Some of the football was awful to watch and we were still in the bottom three with 15 games to go. Of course, all’s well that ends well, and the season certainly ended well with our European success. And Bournemouth for the first game is a more hopeful opener than Manchester City was last time. Can we repeat 4-0? You can get around 50/1 or 60/1 from the bookmakers if you think so. Not particularly generous odds for such a big away win. We are marginal favourites to win the game.

Traditionally I make a prediction before the season gets underway as to the final league positions. So here goes – Manchester City, Arsenal, Liverpool, Newcastle, Manchester United, Chelsea, Aston Villa, Brighton, Tottenham, West Ham, Brentford, Burnley, Everton, Crystal Palace, Fulham, Wolves, Forest, Bournemouth, Sheffield United, Luton.

Tenth for West Ham. That’s about as optimistic as I can get!

East London Expects: Excitement Builds As West Ham Battle To Write New Chapter in Hammer’s History

Cup final day has finally arrived as the Hemmers face off with Fiorentina in Prague. Equal measures of anticipation, excitement and anxiety promise to define an important night for the supporters, players, and coaching staff of West Ham United.

There’s more to supporting a football team than winning trophies. But that doesn’t mean the occasional piece of silverware wouldn’t go amiss. Tonight, West Ham have the opportunity to chalk a rare trophy win onto the honours board when they face Fiorentina in the final of the Europa Conference League at Prague’s Fortuna Arena.

For a club with a history that extends back for over 120 years, the list of major successes is a meagre and sorry read. Tree FA Cups and one European Cup Winners Cup triumph represent the only excuse the club has had to organise an open top bus parade. Indeed what we have was all achieved in a brief 16-year period between 1964 and 1980. Only two of West Ham’s 17 managers – Ron Greenwood and John Lyall – have ever experienced the thrill of leading their side to a major honour.

Tonight’s showdown is the Hammer’s first appearance in a European final for 47 years. A victory would be the first major piece of silverware in any competition for 43 years, and a first European trophy for 58 years. The absence of success has made the heart grow fonder as several generations of Hammer’s supporters have yet to experience the euphoria that comes with it. No surprise then that the ten days since the end of the league season has seen anticipation increasingly build, creating a heady atmosphere of celebration, expectation, excitement, and anxiety. Will the story have a happy Hammers ending?

In an uncertain season, a West Ham win requires alignment of all the footballing planets. The team must be well prepared, they must go into the game with belief and perform at the height of their abilities. We know that it should be possible in theory, but has been all too rarely seen in practice during the past season and a half. David Moyes spoke at the press conference about the need for motivation, inspiration, determination, commitment, and the right attitude. Difficult to argue against those sentiments, but the reality is that too often it has been fear and too much respect for the opposition that has been his side’s downfall, particularly in the opening exchanges of games. Without being reckless, West Ham need to be the team asking the questions. Not sitting back and waiting to react. Moyes spoke about ‘finding a way to win’ when I really hope he will be setting set out with a bold plan for victory!

Our final opponents, Fiorentina, are also experiencing something of a trophy drought. Their sole European success came in the 1961 Cup Winners Cup when they overcame Glasgow Rangers in a two leg final. And their last major trophy win was the Coppa Italia back in 2001. They will be making history tonight as the first team to appear in a final of all four UEFA competitions.

La Viola are a team that loves to have possession. They were second only to Napoli in Serie A this season with a staggering (compared to West Ham) 56% of ball possession. They play with the highest line of all Italian clubs and will be seeking to press the Hammers across the pitch. Attacks are frequently down the flanks with the tricky feet of Ikone and Gonzalez looking to pepper the opposing penalty area with crosses. This will be a test for the Hammer’s defensive discipline. Fiorentina have been free-scoring in the Conference League with Cabral their main man, but they can also be vulnerable at the back, in part due to their high line. The centre of midfield will see an intriguing dual between Declan Rice and Sofyan Amrabat , so impressive for Morocco in the World Cup.  

Manager Vincenzo Italiano is regarded as one of the most promising and progressive managers in Italian football – you can tell by his shaved head, beard and woollen jumper – a pre-requisite for any future Hammer’s boss, I think! He has hinted at the use of the dark arts by his team to frustrate the West Ham’s counter attacking threat. If last week’s Europa League final is any guide, a game dominated by tactical fouls, time wasting, and simulation would not be unthinkable. It will require further discipline from the Hammers to resist reacting to provocation – I am thinking about Lucas Paqueta here – and the intervention of a strong referee.

West Ham and Fiorentina have met on just one previous occasion, in the 1975 Anglo Italian Cup. The Italians winning both home and away legs 1-0. Tonight, is pay-back time.

There are unlikely to be any surprises in the West Ham starting eleven where I think Moyes will opt for: Areola, Coufal, Zouma, Aguerd, Cresswell, Rice, Soucek, Paqueta, Bowen, Antonio, Benrahma. Unfortunately, it doesn’t leave much by way of variety on the bench if the need to try something different is required. Indeed, Moyes was less than convincing at the Press Conference when asked about plans for making in-game changes – where he most often opts for like-for-like changes.

My claret and blue spectacles are telling me, though, that Rice and Paqueta will be too hot for Fiorentina to handle in midfield; and that they will find it difficult to cope with the runs of Jarrod Bowen and the power of Michail Antonio. But it wouldn’t be West Ham without a tense and anxious final ten of fifteen minutes to keep us on the edge of our seats.

It’s a huge night all around for those connected with the club. For supporters, games like these are what we live for – an all too rare opportunity to enjoy moments of glory. For the players it has been a great achievement to reach the final, and it will be massive for them to go on and win it. Becoming just the third West Ham captain to lift a major trophy will be a fantastic way for Declan Rice to sign off on his Hammers career. And for the manager, it could well be a make-or-break game for his future at the club. Everything is now all about tonight.

As a famous statesman once said: ‘I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.’ If we get that commitment from the players and approach the game with the right positive attitude, then the day will end in one of the most memorable episodes of the club’s history. I’m already dreaming of pretty bubbles flying high into the Prague sky until the early hours of Thursday morning. Fiorentina 1 West Ham 3. COYI!

As the final game of the Premier League season approaches, how will we look back on West Ham’s 2022-23 season?

We visit Leicester this weekend for the final league game of (domestically at least) a disappointing season. Until a couple of games ago we weren’t mathematically safe from relegation, although personally I have been confident for some time now, despite some inconsistent performances that have meant that we didn’t pull away from potential trouble as quickly as we might have done. From dropping into the bottom 3 (18th) with 15 games to go, the season since then has seen us in varying positions, never higher than 13th or lower than 17th. We are 14th as we head into the final game, and realistically (ignoring ridiculous goal difference swings) we can only finish between 13th and 15th. Disappointing after two seasons finishing 6th and 7th.

The final league table splits very neatly into a top half and bottom half with Fulham in 10th well clear of the teams in the bottom half. I had a look back at the predictions I made before the season began. To a certain extent the Premier League is predictable these days with money being an important factor. I still managed to put three teams in the top half (Chelsea, West Ham and Wolves) who will finish in the lower half, and conversely I forecast Villa, Brentford and Fulham to be in the bottom half, and they have all had good seasons and are comfortably in the top 10. At that time I predicted Southampton, Forest and Bournemouth to be relegated so I only got one right. I’m also in a score prediction competition where I predict the scores of all West Ham games. Although I’ve correctly predicted some of the results I haven’t got the score correct once all season! The closest I got was to forecast a 0-0 draw in the away lag in Alkmaar. That was close.

But my predictions weren’t all that bad. When there were still a dozen or so games to go I did say that 37 or 38 points would be enough to escape the drop and even 34 or 35 might be. And at the time I suggested 3 from 5 to go down, namely Southampton, Leicester, Forest, Everton and Leeds, so pretty accurate there too. One comment from a reader on my predictions suggested I didn’t have a clue and that West Ham, Forest and Bournemouth were the ones for the drop. Their predictions didn’t turn out to be too accurate! It just shows how difficult it can be to make predictions in football. I did also predict that Manchester City would win the Premier League. That one wasn’t too difficult to forecast though!

It is a fascinating end of the season in terms of who will be relegated, and Sky will obviously be delighted that as many as three teams are still fighting to stay up. Everton will survive if they beat Bournemouth. If they only draw or lose then Leicester can survive by beating West Ham. Leeds, who had survival in their own hands after 25 minutes of last week’s game at the London Stadium, need to beat a poor Tottenham team to have any chance of staying up, and hope that neither Leicester win nor Everton win or draw, unless they can beat Spurs by three goals if Everton do draw. Here’s my prediction – all three teams might win their final games meaning Leicester and Leeds will be relegated. But then again they might not! I hope that we beat Leicester, as I always hope we win games, but I’m not feeling too confident. Of the three teams in trouble I’d like to see Leicester survive in some ways as I dislike the other two more, but I don’t think they will. I just have a feeling that whatever Leeds and Leicester do it won’t matter as Everton will beat Bournemouth.

There has been much conjecture as to the team David Moyes will select for this last league game. With an important European final to come ten days later does he pick a team to continue the recent momentum, or does he rest the majority of the team he wants for the final to avoid any unnecessary injuries? Or somewhere in between? How important is the £2.2 million for each incremental position in the final table when compared to the prospect of a second European trophy for the club and automatic entry into next season’s Europa League? If we do manage to beat Leicester this weekend it would only be the second time this season when we have won two league matches in a row (the first was at the beginning of October beating Wolves and Fulham at home).

Our performances in Europe have been in stark contrast to our domestic form, partly perhaps due to the strength (or lack of it) of opposition, but nevertheless still impressive. How will we reflect on the season if we win the Europa Conference whilst finishing 13th-15th in the league? It will certainly be some consolation, and a gateway to a third successive European campaign, but would we have taken that before the season began?

For me, it has not been so much about the league results, although they have mostly been poor or inconsistent, but the performances themselves. For the most part the football played has not been pleasing on the eye. The lack of ambition, the lone striker, the fear of the opposition (particularly top sides), the reliance on set pieces, the inability to hold on to the ball, the lack of players with pace, and an unnecessarily over-cautious approach to games all contribute to the disappointment.

After we went a goal down in a lethargic 25 minutes at the start of the Leeds game, the shackles came off and for more than an hour we played some delightful stuff against a tiring opposition. But why couldn’t we start the game on the front foot? It’s almost as if the players are told to be cautious, don’t concede, and only have a go if we do fall behind. Perhaps they are? And what an excellent game from Paqueta! He really has begun to look the part in recent games.

It seems certain that Declan Rice will be on his way to new pastures. What a superb player he has been for us; it would be great to round it off lifting the Europa Conference trophy on June 7th. He really is irreplaceable and it will be interesting to see who we can manage to attract to the club this summer. James Ward-Prowse, Kalvin Phillips and Harvey Barnes are three of the names already being touted, all England internationals, and two of them play in central midfield, but I’m sure there will be many more suggested once the transfer window opens. I read these names but after so many years now of reading about players we are allegedly linked with I wait until I see the photo of a new recruit in a claret and blue shirt with their arms crossed before I believe it. If (when) Rice goes, wouldn’t it be good to do the necessary transfer business and have replacements in place well before the new season begins? We never seem to achieve that though, do we?

What will happen in the game at Leicester? I’m sure David Moyes would like to beat them for his own professional pride to ensure West Ham finish as high as possible in the final table. It wouldn’t do his old club on Merseyside any harm if that were the case either. My final prediction of the league season – a 2-2 draw. What are the chances?

It’s the Final Countdown: There Ain’t No Party Like A West Ham Party

With an exciting trip to Prague on their minds, West Ham have a pivotal role to play in the final relegation placings as they host Leeds United at the London Stadium

Yesterday’s round of matches provided the final mathematical proof to what most had realised several few weeks ago, that West Ham would be once again playing Premier League football next season. Complex modelling of different scenarios that would result in Leeds overturning the Hammers goal difference advantage cease to be relevant as the two sides clash at the London Stadium this afternoon.

It was an eventful week for West Ham as they saw off the challenge of AZ Alkmaar to reach the final of the Europa Conference League in Prague. A degree of confusion existed in post-match interviews as to the precise relevance of 43- and 47-year anniversaries in Hammer’s History. To clarify, it is, of course, 47 years since West Ham reached a European final; and it will be an opportunity to lift a first major trophy in 43 years. Hammers of a certain age may also be familiar with the rarely spoken about heart-breaking experience of the 2006 FA Cup Final but prefer to keep that painful memory well and truly buried, like a long forgotten disgraced family member. Although, I was ‘fortunate’ enough to be at the game, I have avoided ever watching the highlights again!

Most pundits took the view that David Moyes got his tactics ‘spot on’ against Alkmaar. By maintaining a compact shape and defending deep it limited the hosts to a handful of half chances. For all their pretty possession they created little threat – and might have played many hours without looking likely to score. The irony is that this was not a cunningly devised tactical masterstroke, it is how his team plays every week. But more on that another time, as it is only right to celebrate the prospect of a big night out in Prague on June 7. It was fantastic to see how much getting to the final meant to the players as they celebrated after the final whistle. And what a story for the immensely likeable Pablo Fornals to come off the bench and score a stunning winner as the clock ticked down. A remarkable moment! I was even touched by seeing a broad smile light up the manager’s face.

It was a disciplined and professional performance from West Ham. Solid right across the back and with Declan Rice and Lucas Paqueta putting in excellent shifts in midfield. More might have been achieved from counter-attacks but both Jarrod Bowen and Said Benrahma had below par nights. Bowen provided his usual good defensive cover – possibly expected to do too much defensively – but offered little going forward against young Hungarian full-back Milos Kerkez. If I was a scout I would add Kerkez to my watch list for what is a problem position at West Ham, although I hope our scouting network extends beyond players from teams we have beaten in cup competitions – Paul Hilton anyone?

I always think you can tell what sort of game Benrahma will have from his first two or three touches. If these go badly you may as well substitute him there and then. Or get him to change his boots. I see it as the exact opposite of the old Billy’s Boots comic strip which appeared many years ago in the Tiger and Scorcher. Rather than Billy turning into a superstar whenever he pulls on his magic boots, Benny and his boots sadly lose all coordination when attempting to shoot or cross.

A small group of curmudgeonly fans have been writing off the Conference as something of a tin-pot competition. It was clear (and encouraging) that the players see it completely differently. If the group stages can be a case of going through the motions, I doubt any of the participants take it easy once the knock-out starts. True it is Europe’s third tier competition, but there are not many opportunities in modern football for coaches and players to win trophies with the concentration of power in the hands of the monied few. And this is one of those occasions. West Ham could not have done much more than win 13 of their 14 matches played to reach the final. With silverware and potential qualification for next season’s Europa League up for grabs, it promises to be a great occasion.  

The Alkmaar match will also be long remembered for the heroics of Knollsy in coming to the rescue of the player’s family and friends who were targeted by a small group of home supporters attempting to storm the stands. Knollsy demonstrated some of the most uncompromising defending seen since the departure of Craig Dawson. AZ Ultra might easily be mistaken for the latest washing powder from Proctor & Gamble and it was heartening to see the ugly stains humiliatingly removed. Well done to Knollsy and also the players who leapt into the fray to protect their loved ones!

With the dust barely settled on Thursday’s semi-final it is back to Premier League action today where West Ham will play an important role on who joins Southampton in the Championship next year. A win for Nottingham Forest yesterday meant that all three of last season’s promoted clubs survive the drop, and narrowed the relegation field of two from Leicester, Leeds, and Everton. Leicester’s fate looks the most precarious even though nothing will be decided until next Sunday’s final games when all three teams have winnable home fixtures.

A win for Leeds today would put them in a strong position for survival with only a Spursy challenge to come. And we all know what Big Sam needing a win means for the way that a match might pan out. It will not be feast of footballing fun and entertainment. On the one hand West Ham will want to sign-off a memorable week on a positive note in the expectation of it being Declan Rice’s last game at the London Stadium as a West Ham player. On the other, Leeds tasked with spoiling the celebrations and sucking the atmosphere out of the party. The visitor’s pragmatic game plan will be to grab a goal and defend it with their lives.

I doubt Moyes will see the need to make wholesale changes from his normal team selection for the final matches. Maybe Kurt Zouma and Michail Antonio will be wrapped away in cotton wool until the final but that’s about it with just two games between now and the ECL Final.

Moyes will want to play fair for the relegation candidates. He must still have a soft spot for Everton and is said to be great friends with Allardyce through a shared football philosophy. In fact, I had an idea of Moyes and Allardyce featuring in a buddy TV series – think Coogan and Brydon or Whitehouse and Mortimer – where they hunt fossils on the Jurassic coast while reminiscing on their favourite scoreless draws. The working title is Sam and Dave’s Clean Sheets with Hold On, I’m Coming as the theme tune. Could be a winner!

A last home game of the season without any pressure other than a few million in positional merit money would typically be a massive party day. But with Big Sam not being the ideal party guest, the action on the pitch might end up being incidental to having a laugh, a joke and an old fashioned sing-song. COYI!

Going Dutch: West Ham Require Courage To Complete Double Over AZ Alkmaar

Can West Ham go one better than last season to reach a Euro semi-final. It would provide a silver lining to a dismal season but are David Moyes and his team brave enough to pull it off?

West Ham face a Dutch reckoning this evening when they travel to the North Holland city of Alkmaar for the second leg of their Europa Conference League semi-final. Holding a slender 2-1 advantage from last Thursday’s opener, the Hammers must silence a passionate home support if they are to reach a first European final since 1976 and remain on course for their first senior trophy in 43 years.

A more adventurous approach at the London Stadium would surely have put the Hammers in pole position against what, on the day, was an underwhelming AZ Alkmaar outfit. The visitors enjoyed plenty of possession but had few ideas going forward. Even so, they had earned themselves a half-time lead courtesy of shoddy defensive covering and poor goalkeeping by the Hammer’s rear-guard. But West Ham were able to turn the tie around with a far more aggressive second half performance which clearly unsettled a shaky Alkmaar defence.

Chances are it will be a very different AZ side that we see today on home turf. Their record in front of their own supporters, both in Europe and domestically, is impressive and they have won all eight of the home fixtures played so far in this season’s Conference League. The return from suspension of Milos Kerkez, a fleet-footed 19-year-old full-back, will add an extra dimension to their attacking play which was badly missing in the first leg. They will be highly motivated to add a Premier League scalp to the list of conquests.

The big worry for West Ham fans is how will David Moyes approach the game. In his pre-match interviews, he was keen to point out that European football had been a new experience for the team last season and that they would have learned from the experience of the semi-final exit against Eintracht Frankfurt. A more pertinent question, however, might be what lessons did he take on board from the two legged defeat? Will he oversee yet another typically slow and timid start from his charges – one that again pays his opponent far too much respect – or does he demonstrate belief in his players having the talent and ability to cause major problems for the Alkmaar defence, and put the tie beyond doubt on their own terms?

It would be out of character for Moyes to allow players greater freedom, but maybe the players will take it on themselves not to let caution deny them a shot at glory in Prague next month. It is puzzling to see the Hammers still being described as a fast counter attacking team. That may have had some justification two seasons ago, but this term the statistics show only one goal (in the Premier League) being the result of a counterattack. Away from home especially, West Ham have become almost exclusively a set-piece team.  We really do need to see more than that tonight.

Defeat for the Hammers second string at Brentford on Sunday told us little that we didn’t already know. The key takeaways being: despite last summer’s recruitment the squad depth and balance remains below standard, in the absence of Michail Antonio there isn’t even the semblance of an attacking plan, and the handball rule gets more ridiculous each week. The only player starting on Sunday to start again today is likely to be Nayef Aguerd, ironic in some ways because he had a hand in both of the goals conceded. He does, however, look more composed alongside Kurt Zouma. My predicted line-up is: Areola, Kehrer (or Coufal), Zouma, Aguerd, Cresswell, Rice, Soucek, Paqueta, Bowen, Antonio, Benrahma.

West Ham’s Dutch connection is not a strong one. The only previous competitive encounter with Dutch opponents was the stirring quarter final come-back against Den Haag – now floundering in the second tier of the Dutch league – in March 1976. And while the Premier League has seen a breath-taking array of Dutch talent pass through, including Bergkamp, van Persie, van Dijk, van Nistelrooy, Stam, Hasselbaink, Overmars, and Gullit, none of these have made it across to the east-end. The best the Hammers have been able to offer is Atteveld, Boere, and Boogers. Quite surprising that players from the Netherlands and Belgium are rarely on the West Ham radar.

Experience tells us that tonight will not be plain sailing. It’s just not the West Ham way. I have been growing my finger nails all week to ensure there is something to chew in the final 15 to 20 minutes as the Hammers retreat further and further back towards goal – and also allowing for extra time and penalties. I do believe with the right attitude we should be able to control the game and come away victorious on the night as well as on aggregate. I only see the manager getting in the way of that expectation. Or can he changes his ways? As Newcastle manager Joe Harvey might have said back in 1969 “Faint heart never won Fairs Cup.” Go for it, Dave. COYI!

West Ham visit Brentford, still not mathematically safe in the Premier League, but with one eye on an important game in the Netherlands next Thursday.

How many games have we played in the Europa Conference League this season? 13. Unlucky for some as the saying goes but not for West Ham. We’ve won 12 of them and drawn one. If we can maintain the unbeaten record next Thursday when we visit the city of Alkmaar in the Netherlands then we can get ready for our first European final since 1976. I think we can do it. It could go either way though.

I thought that we were OK on Thursday night. The players seemed nervous to me (or was it Moyes-induced caution?) in the early stages but once AZ had taken the lead with that long range shot it got better. I think if Areola were to face that identical shot again then on almost every occasion he would save it. Everyone is quick to get on his back and I’ve seen many calls for Fabianski to be recalled for the return leg. Not for me. In my opinion Areola is a better keeper and should retain his place and get a consistent run in the league games too. But I know many will disagree with my opinion. It’s strange isn’t it how keepers are rotated by most managers in league and cups to give the perceived number 2 game time? When a team reaches a final or perhaps a semi-final the manager will often revert to choosing his favoured number 1 keeper. I wonder if our manager will do the same for the second leg in view of Areola’s error? It would be harsh and wrong in my view. When he was England manager Ron Greenwood used to rotate Shilton and Clemence as he couldn’t decide who was the better keeper. It’s a shame that Phil Parkes was around at the same time as those two. I reckon he was just as good.

I’m also a big fan of Said Benrahma too. Not everybody’s cup of tea but he would always be in my starting eleven. That’s not to say I don’t find him frustrating at times though. I believe he has the potential to be a better player than we have seen in West Ham colours. I’m not sure the manager likes him particularly; I’m sure he would love to play Fornals in that position more – he’s more of a Moyes-type player. Again, not for me. He gives the ball away too much for my liking without posing much of a threat in an attacking sense. True Benrahma does lose the ball at times but he is always looking to create chances for himself and others. He was my man of the match on Thursday. I had no doubts when he stepped up to take the pressure penalty either. The successful conversion of that spot kick meant his penalty taking record for the clubs he has played for is now 12 out of 12. He doesn’t miss. I liked the way he combined with (the improving) Paqueta. Perhaps they can begin to reproduce the link that was formed between Payet and Lanzini in 2015-16? 

Today is a different matter when we visit the GTech Community Stadium. What is it with teams beginning with Br? We can’t seem to play well against Brighton or Brentford. Perhaps we are fortunate that we haven’t had to play Brondby, Braga, or Bruges in Europe this season? When Brentford visited the London Stadium in the final game of 2022 we had not won a league game since 24 October when we beat Bournemouth 2-0, though of course the season was interrupted by the World Cup. We had played very winnable games at home against Palace and Leicester but had lost both of them. The 2-0 loss to Brentford made it three home league defeats in a row. Following the win over Bournemouth in October we were actually in the top half of the table (well just that is in 10th). By the time Brentford had beaten us we had fallen to 17th, just outside the bottom three, and with just one point from the next two games we were actually in the relegation zone. We’ve hovered around there ever since, usually just above, and visited there again following defeat at Tottenham.

We’ve done enough since (without being totally convincing for much of the time) to ensure that we are safe. Ok not mathematically yet, but it would take an extraordinary set of results to see us go down. At the start of the season who would have believed that we would not be mathematically safe from relegation in the middle of May with just three games of the league season to go? Of course Southampton are now down and it would take a massive goal difference swing for Leeds to go past us now, but the others in contention could all in theory still overtake us. But looking at their fixtures it is highly unlikely.

Geoff made a good point in his article published yesterday about how we only took two points from our remaining eight league games in the 1975-76 season when we reached the European Cup Winners Cup Final. I’ll expand on that and say that in that season we made possibly the most dramatic fall in league position in the top flight that has ever been seen. We beat Ararat Erevan of the USSR in the second leg of the second round on November 5th and then we drew 1-1 with Coventry the following Saturday to go to the top of the league. By Christmas we had fallen to sixth place, and after then we only won one more league game in the whole of the rest of the season (a 1-0 win over QPR on 24 January). Incredibly just one win in 21 league games plus an early exit in the FA Cup in the third round, eventually finishing 18th! (22 teams in the top division at that time). Despite that we had excellent comeback performances in the quarter final and semi-final rounds in Europe to reach the final where we lost 4-2 to Anderlecht.

Can we blame our indifferent league performance on our involvement in European competition this season? I don’t think so but in the Premier League we have won 10 of our 35 games for a win rate of 29%, whereas in Europe we have won 12 out of 13 and drawn the other one for a win rate of 92%. Very different quality of competition of course.

There is now a lot of merit money on offer based on final league positions. We are currently 15th which would earn a payout of £13.2 million if that was our final position in the Premier League. But that would increase or decrease by £2.2 million for each step either up or down. Prize money is important in the Premier League and also the European Conference. We have already won over £10 million for our performances in Europe so far and another £5 million will be added if we get to and win the final (runners-up get £3 million). But there is also the added bonus that winning would give entry into the Europa League next season and the financial rewards on offer in that. Whilst the money is important, as a fan I’d just love to see us win a trophy. It has been a long time! Too long!

I expect to see quite a few changes to our starting line up for the game today even though we are not yet mathematically safe with perhaps Fabianski, Johnson, Emerson, Downes, Fornals and Ings and possibly one or two others starting the game. Brentford still have a very remote outside chance of qualifying for Europe next season despite only winning two of their last nine games which means that they are very unlikely to do so. They will be fully up for the game though. But will we?

Will It Be Yet Another “Nil Points” Against Brentford For Euro Bound Hammers?

The seduction of the Europa Conference Final will overshadow this weekend’s contractual obligation derby in west London. Moyes will be keen to rest key players.

In the end the AZ Almaar team that turned up at the London Stadium were not quite ‘as advertised’. In the pre-match build-up their reputation had escalated from being ‘no mugs’ to becoming an amazing fast raiding side who would weave intricate patterns around the pitch. In practice, they were rather pedestrian. If there was an element of Brighton about them, it was early Potter vintage and not the free-scoring De Zerbi incarnation.

Nevertheless, David Moyes had predictably treated the threat with the utmost caution. If AZ were a side who liked to break the press by tempting an opponent to commit, Moyes would counter that by refusing to press at all, and reverting to the favoured default low block. There’s nothing that takes him higher than an overdose of caution.

Ultimately, it took the gift of a poorly conceded goal to stir West Ham from their stupor. Several players were hoping for a foul, Tomas Soucek was slow to close down, and Alphonse Areola was embarrassed by a tame shot that he should easily have dealt with. It was to the Hammers credit that they eventually turned the match around, but the feeling at the final whistle was of an opportunity missed.  The visitors looked uncomfortable in the face of any physical challenge, and even a modicum of adventure would surely have allowed West Ham to establish an unassailable first-leg advantage.

Instead, we are left with a tie that could go either way in the second leg. A game where Moyes is banking on his team’s resilience to reach the final. Now, I’m all in favour of resilience, but isn’t an attribute that would be called for against heavyweights such as Manchester City or Real Madrid – not against relative Dutch unknowns. A big spending Premier League side should be looking to overcome teams like AZ through the excellence of their football rather than resilience.  

Sandwiched between the two European Conference semi-final encounters is a bothersome end-of-season affair at Brentford’s Gtech Community Stadium. Mathematically, West Ham could still end the season in the bottom three but the alignment of fortunes required for that to happen are as improbable as the United Kingdom winning the Eurovision Song Contest.

Brentford are already assured a top ten finish which is a remarkable achievement by manager Thomas Frank and his players. In certain aspects of style, there are uncanny similarities between the way Brentford and West Ham approach games. Neither is too bothered about the chore of ball possession and both favour launching it long as the cornerstone of attacking ambitions. In terms of attitude, however, the teams are streets apart. Brentford approach games without fear of any opposition, press higher up the pitch, and routinely setup with two dedicated strikers. Indeed, Ivan Toney and Bryan Mbeumo are pivotal to Brentford’s success. If and when Toney receives the threatened lengthy ban for betting rule breaches – why has this taken so long – it will be a major blow.

The trade-off for this reckless sense of adventure is being more open at the back. No-one has made more saves in the Premier League this season than the Brentford keeper, and only Bournemouth and Everton have faced more opposition shots. Despite this, they have conceded five goals fewer than West Ham – and scored 14 more.

There’s plenty of speculation that Moyes will rest a number of players for tomorrow’s game. It would be foolish to play Michail Antonio given that he is the only player in the squad capable of playing the Moyes striker role. He may also choose to omit Kurt Zouma, Declan Rice, and Jarrod Bowen. Very likely we will see a 5-3-2 starting eleven along the following lines: Fabianski, Johnson, Kehrer, Aguerd, Cresswell, Emerson, Downes, Soucek, Paqueta, Ings, Cornet  

When West Ham made it to the final of the European Cup Winners Cup in 1976 they took just two points from the final eight league games. It feels like similar territory that we are now in. Survival may well be mathematically confirmed this weekend and after that there will be just the one prize.

The Hammers have yet to take a point off Brentford since their promotion to the Premier League. The chances on ending that run tomorrow seem remote. But maybe there’s the chance of a scrappy end-of-season draw. COYI!

Is It Déjà Vu All Over Again? Or Can West Ham Navigate The A to Z Of Alkmaar To Reach Euro Final

We have all been here before. The Europa Conference is a chance to add a silver lining to West Ham’s otherwise dismal season. Can the Hammers go one step further than last year as they prepare to face a dangerously underrated AZ Alkmaar side?

It was just over twelve months ago that West Ham faced Eintracht Frankfurt in a first leg tie of the Europa League semi-final at the London Stadium. Excitement and expectations were high but on the night the Hammers were distinctly second best and were fortunate to come out of the match with just a single goal deficit. Aaron Cresswell’s foolish red card in the opening 20 minutes of the return leg effectively ended any hope of a stirring comeback. The disappointment of missing out on the final haunting the club well into this season.

The second UEFA semi-final in a row is, of course, a rung lower on the Euro ladder – a competition that receives little media attention. West Ham’s progress to the semi-final has been largely plain sailing-the only exception being a sub-par performance in the drawn quarter-final away leg at Gent – the one game out of 12 in the competition that the Hammers failed to win. The semi-final tie against a youthful and energetic AZ Alkmaar side, however, promises to be a much tougher proposition.

Interestingly, West Ham’s form going into tonight’s game is slightly ahead of what it it was in the same period last year, where the Hammers had saved their best performances for Europa League clashes with Sevilla and Lyon, while domestic form nosedived after the new year. Hopefully, the energy shown in the deserved win against Manchester United can be the boost needed to ensure history does not repeat itself.

For AZ, tonight’s game will be their 17th match in this season’s Europa Conference, having entered at the Second Qualifying stage. They have won 13 of the previous 16 games and finishing top of Group E before beating Lazio (in both legs) in the Round of 16 and Anderlecht (on penalties) in the Quarter Final.

They are no stranger to European competition having participated in 21 different seasons, including one entry each into the European Cup and Champions League. Their best achievement to date was as runners-up to Ipswich, over two legs, in the 1981 UEFA Cup Final.

Alkmaar currently sit fourth in the Eredivisie with three games to play, two points behind Ajax in third, with whom they played out a scoreless draw at the weekend. I’ve no direct experience of watching AZ but reports speak of a young side that aims to control a high percentage of tactical possession in order to draw out opponents. They play with fluidity and movement with pacey, attacking full-backs and penetrating midfield runs from deep. It all sounds rather Brighton-esque to me – and we know how that usually turns out.

There are a several familiar Premier League names in the squad with Matty Ryan (ex-Brighton) in goal, Bruno Martins Indi (ex-Stoke) in defence, and Jordy Clasie (ex-Southampton) in midfield. Heading a group of talented youngsters are full-backs Yukinari Sugawara and Milos Kerkez (suspended today) and midfielders Sven Mijnans and Jesper Karlsson (doubtful). The main goal threat comes from Greek international striker, Vangelis Pavlidis.

AZ are managed by London born, Pascal Jansen – his British mother was a one-time pop-star in the band Spooky and Sue. Jansen has managed the side since December 2020 when Arend Slot left to manage Feyenoord. Previous incumbents of the AZ hot-seat include Louis Van Gaal, Ronald Koeman, Dick Advocaat and Marco Van Basten.

In his post-match press conference, David Moyes claimed that getting to the European Conference Final would be the highlight of his managerial career. It would be a fine achievement and I hope he achieves it – but it is possibly not the greatest return from a 25-year career.

If West Ham are to progress, they will need to be alert and focused from the first to last whistle. This will be a stern test against an opponent with the kind of attributes that have routinely bewildered the Hammers in previous encounters. The sluggish opening 20 to 25 minutes which has been a far too frequent feature of West Ham performances needs to be left in the changing rooms. It was even evident in Sunday’s otherwise excellent win against Manchester United. I would take the rampant, swaggering West Ham that we saw in the second half against the Red Devils to win today’s tie comfortably, but it is an all too rare occurrence these days.

The psychological disadvantage of playing the first leg at home is always a concern even though the scrapping of the away goals rule has diminished much of the logical difference. Will Moyes and the team have learned from last years’ experience when they paid the price for a slow start and failure to plan for and adapt to the opponent’s positive approach? They will underestimate Alkmaar at their peril.

A potential point of unpredictability tonight is the appointment of young Turkish referee, Halil Umut Meler as the man in the middle. In 23 games officiated this season he has brandished a prolific 101 yellow and eight red cards. Perhaps some comfort that the majority of these have been in the Turkish Super Lig which I imagine might be prone to volatility. In six UEFA games, his record is 19 yellows and one red – the red a very clear and obvious professional foul (Aaron, please take note!) 

Moyes will no doubt field his strongest possible starting eleven tonight – last Sunday’s side except for Alphonse Areola replacing Lukasz Fabianski. It should be enough to get a result but any side that can beat Lazio home and away cannot be taken lightly. In a disappointing, depressing season for West Ham, success in this competition would produce an unexpected silver lining. There is a lot riding on this game. COYI!

Sticking Point: West Ham’s Desperate Scramble for Safety Meets Manchester United’s Stuttering Champions League Ambitions

With three league defeats on the bounce, West Ham badly need a boost to survival and European hopes when they meet inconsistent Manchester United at the London Stadium

Tonight sees part two of the Manchester duology when West Ham entertain Manchester United in an inconvenient early evening kick-off at the London Stadium.

Part one of the showdown went pretty much according to script with a routine win for perennial champions, Manchester City. Compared to the dire pre-match predictions of many Hammers fans – including myself – it could have been a far worse outcome. West Ham never looked capable of scoring more than NIL, but the potentially crucial goal difference advantage didn’t take too big a hammering.

It was inevitable that Haaland would break the Premier League most goals in a season record in this game and Danny ings will forever be able to describe his pivotal assist in the build-up. City took yet another stride towards the title yesterday with a 2-1 win over Fat Sam’s Leeds United – a much closer contest score-wise than our own encounter, although mostly due to the hosts easing up in the second half with a Champions League semi-final on the horizon. No doubt, Guardiola will have something to say to his players about the unprofessional penalty taking debacle that precipitated their late wobble. Anyone remember Paul Kitson against Everton in April 1997?

A surprising element for me was that our boys managed a staggering 31% possession in the game – more than double than anticipated. But possession is a strange thing. Out of curiosity, I looked up the stats for when Brentford became the only team to win at The Etihad so far this season (in November) and compared these to the Hammer’s recent effort:

Brentford: Possession (25%)  Passes (216)  Pass Accuracy (56%)  Corners (2)

West Ham: Possession (31%) Passes (327) Pass Accuracy (77%)   Corners (3)

Brentford also faced more opposition goal attempts than West Ham – 29 to 16. But they did create more attempts themselves – a total of 10 to West Ham’s 6. As ever, the most telling of all statistics is goals scored, and the Bees netted twice from 8 shots on target – testament to their setup and the double spearhead of Toney and Mbeumo. West Ham on the other hand never seriously threatened the City goal. Still, shows how misleading the stats can be!

While City are now several streets ahead of their one-time imperious neighbours, the Manchester Reds remain in contention for Champions League qualification. Now on their sixth manager since Sir Alex Ferguson hung up his changing room hairdryer, they have never looked anywhere close to reproducing their previous dominance. The promising signs of Erik ten Hag’s early reign have slowly been swamped by a wave of inconsistency. The impression is a collection of talented individuals rather than a convincing, cohesive team on the cusp of a return to greatness. Today they may well be either galvanised or traumatised by the prospect of Liverpool coming up on the top four rails.

Any belief that Manchester United are a far less formidable opponent than in days gone by has yet to be translated into positive results for West Ham. The most recent Hammers victory in the league was a 2-0 win (Yarmolenko, Cresswell) for Pellegrini’s Hammers in September 2019. This was followed by a draw and then five straight defeats. Even in our two fantastic seasons (© D Moyes) the home fixture was lost 1-3 and 1-2 respectively. So, what cunning plan might the Moyesiah have up his sleeve for today? Could it be the revolutionary tactics of defend in depth and hope to score from a set piece or breakaway? Intriguingly, this is also Manchester United’s masterplan.

I sometimes have sympathy with football manager’s having to come out to face the cameras each week while the heat of battle and the frustrations of another incompetent performance are still fresh in the memory. While the victorious manager can afford to be magnanimous – see Pep praising West Ham’s resilience – the loser has to spin out the latest in the long line of tame excuses, especially when there is no contentious VAR decision lifeline to rant about. Unfortunately, when Moyes has his back to the wall, he is prone to petulance and unwise criticism of individual players not ideal for team morale.

However, there is no excuse for spouting the same level of unbelievable nonsense in the calm of the pre-match preparations. This week’s corker was Moyes attempt to explain why Maxwell Cornet had played so few minutes since his recovery from injury in late March. The reason, apparently, is that the established players (Michail Antonio and Ings) are already doing a really good job in that position. Thanks for clearing that up, David! It must be a particular problem for a manager who doesn’t realise he is allowed to make tactical adjustments with his substitutions as well as like for like changes.

Defeat today and West Ham will go in to the first leg of the European Conference semi-final with the spectre of relegation continuing to hang over them. A win would almost guarantee survival while a share of the points would leave work to be done.

It will be business as usual on team selection as Moyes welcomes back food poisoning victims Declan Rice, Nayef Aguerd and Tomas Soucek. It is rumoured that Soucek experienced his most explosive runs of the season during the absence. Either Ben Johnson or Thilo Kehrer will replace the injured Vladmir Coufal and there will be a toss-up between Said Benrahma and Pablo Fornals to fill the problematic wide left berth. Other than that, same shoot, different weekend.

With games rapidly running out, we are left again to hope for the best and fear the worst. I wonder if it possible to borrow that Stone of Destiny for the afternoon? COYI!