Geoff Hopkins

West Ham Monday Briefing: Sleepless in Sao Paulo, Crime and Punishment, and Transfer Window Waffle

The boys from Brazil once again dominate the news from the London Stadium. Could there be two new ones on the way, and will another be receiving a lifetime ban?

Sleepless in Sao Paulo

Many years ago, I remember tuning in to Radio 5 on the drive home from work to hear that West Ham had signed Eyal Berkovic. There had been no weeks of chatter and speculation beforehand. No mention of monitoring the situation, preparing bids, and holding talks. It was a good old-fashioned swoop in classic Harry Redknapp style.

Today there are no such stealthy manoeuvrings in the world of football transfers. I don’t know if it is true at all clubs, but details of West Ham’s recruitment plans are as leaky as last season’s defence. As if the media have a Where’s Tim app that can track his whereabouts at the touch of a button. And if media reports are to be believed, every transfer pursuit follows the three-act format of Romantic Comedy screen play – meet, lose, and get.

Tim (played by Hugh Grant) tracks down a beautiful potential signing, they get along famously, the player is excited about the London Stadium project and appearing in the Premier League, the club see him as a perfect fit for the progressive football model being built at West Ham. Then everything goes horribly wrong. The Chairman (Bill Nighy) can’t agree contract terms. Sporting Directors from other Premier League teams have been following matters on Newsnow and attempt to hijack the deal. Clubs from oil rich nations get involved (Four Beheadings and A Funeral) splashing piles of cash that would double his weekly salary. As the credits roll Tim makes a last gasp dash to the departure gate at Sao Paulo airport waving an improved offer from London in his hand.

Crime and Punishment

The Lucas Paqueta betting investigation rumbles on with the player’s representatives requesting an extension to the original June 3 deadline for responding to charges. No new date has yet to be agreed. The noises being made last week were that the FA would be pushing for a lifetime ban should Paqueta be found guilty.

Now, it could be a case of the claret and blue tinted spectacles kicking in, but a lifetime ban feels completely disproportionate to the severity of the offence. It’s a huge stretch to interpret being yellow carded as an attempt to fix the outcome of a match. The most ridiculous aspect here is that bookmakers allow bets to be placed on peripheral and easily influenced events like throw-ins, corners, and yellow cards in the first place. Just another case of their greed, I suppose. Happy to take your money as long as they hold all the cards, yellow or otherwise. The role of Betway in this affair should not be overlooked. Wouldn’t a quiet word have been more appropriate than a full-scale whistle-blowing that could result in one of their partners losing out on £85 million. The idea that a gambling firm was overcome with a sense of moral responsibility must be pure fantasy.

Then there is the FA, an organisation who have happily accepted Russian gangsters and murderous nation states as fit and proper football club owners, getting on their high horse over a prank by a bunch of Brazilian islanders. An independent regulator is looking more and more like a sound idea.

Speaking of authoritarian club owners, the Premier League are now being sued by Manchester City for discrimination because they have been prevented them from funnelling even more cash into the team that has just won their fourth consecutive title. City’s case also complaining bitterly about the ‘tyranny of the majority’ in Premier League decision making – or democracy as we call it.

We are programmed to dislike all the ‘big six’ clubs but City are now the most despised in my opinion. I would love to see them expelled from the league and stripped of all their titles when the hearing into the 155 breaches of rules is finally heard. But that is never going to happen!

Breaking News: Transfer Update

Only four days to go before the transfer window officially opens and the speculation keeps on rolling in. Speculation continues to be dominated by Brazilians with strong rumours that Luis Guilherme is about to become the first signing of the Lopetegui era. A worrying trend in recent days has seen Guilherme regularly described as a wonderkid. It is a term that has historically been applied to youngsters who eventually disappear without trace. A second stuborn rumour is that the Hammers will lso be signing Brazilian centre-back Vitao.

We should not forget the final exciting update of the transfer week as West Ham have seemingly fought off stiff competition to capture the signature of Wes Foderingham as third choice keeper.

A further 15 names have been added to the speculative target list this week as shown below. The full list of 52 linked players can be viewed here. Even if most are made up, they are a better class of speculation than we were used to under the Scottish Manager (it is bad luck to mention him by name). No more Maguires, McTominays or Brownhills on the list – although Tammy Abraham remains a worry.

There is Nothing Like a Dane

Apropos of nothing, I was looking through the annals of Scandinavians who have turned out in a West Ham shirt. Given the love of their gods for hammers, it is a very short list. There are currently 14 Danes, 8 Swedes, 5 Norwegians, and 1 Finn playing in the Premier League. But none at the London Stadium.

It has not been a fertile area of recruitment at the club with the most successful in terms of both appearances and goals being Marc Rieper. I was very sorry to see him go when he left for Cletic.

Here is the full list: Rieper (101 apps, 5 goals), Jaaskelainen (61, 0), Ljungberg (28, 2), Jacobsen (26, 0), Nordtveit (21, 0), Carew (21, 2), Tihinen (10, 0), Soma (9, 0), Alexanderson (8, 0), Samuelson (2, 0).

West Ham Monday Briefing: Blank Czechs, Everyone Wants a Brazilian, and VAR Check Incomplete

In this week’s round-up we look at shot shy defenders, South American Hammers and Thursday’s vote on the abolition of VAR. Plus the latest names added to the transfer shopping list.

In case you are already suffering Premier League withdrawal symptoms, a reminder that there are just 11 days to the opening of the transfer window, 15 to the publication of new fixture lists, and 75 to the start of the 2024/25 season. In the interim there is the opportunity to watch the Euros, prepare for the club’s pre-season tour, and follow the relentless stream of transfer gossip.

One of the positions that has rarely surfaced in the flood of transfer speculation to date is any new faces at right back. With Ben Johnson likely to leave this would leave the door open for another season as first choice to Vladimir Coufal. Let’s face it the squad has too many issues to fix them all in a single summer. If that is the case then it would allow Vladimir to close in on super Thomas Repka’s modern day record of most games for a West Ham outfield player without a goal. At present Repka leads the race by 188 to 153. It would be an easy target to achieve with another full season for the wayward Czech international.

I know that many are keen to point out that football existed before the Premier League was formed, so let’s look at the all-time records. Topping the leader board is William Cope (1914 – 1922) with 258 games but his claims come with the caveat that a large part of his career was war-time football – not usually included in career statistics. Next in line, and peacetime record holder, is Alfred Earl (1925 – 1932) with a total of 206 appearances at right back. Tied with Repka in third place is left-back Charlie Walker (1936 – 1946) – another whose career which included war-time competition. The other centurions from (my) living memory are Keith Coleman (1973 – 1977) and Danny Gabbidon (2005 – 2011) with 122 and 113 games respectively.

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As clubs strat to circle for their early summer signings, Tim Steidten has reportedly been shuttling back and forth to Brazil in an attempt to increase the samba quotient in the threadbare West Ham squad. Early targets are said to be Fabricio Bruno, Wesley Gassova, and Luis Guilherme. With the Bruno deal apparently stalled due to wage demands, the chatter on what will be first deal of the season has since switched to the 18-year-old Guilherme. It would be an interesting move to sign such a young player – no matter how talented or exciting – unless it was felt he could be a regular starter in a punishing Premier League season.

Much, of course, will depend on how the Lucas Paqueta situation eventually pans out following the recently announced FA charges. Whatever the outcome, it is unlikely to be resolved quickly leaving a high chance that he will feature in the Hammer’s plans during the opening part of the season. It will also mean no injection of external funds to finance the rebuild.

There are now more Brazilians in the Premier League than from any other country, other than England. The last count stood at 34, ahead of France (28), Republic of Ireland (27), Spain (25) and Portugal (22). They have not all been a rip-roaring success with the West Ham experience being less than sparkling. A fact that applies equally across the band of South American players who have donned the claret and blue. Of 22 South Americans, only Manuel Lanzini has made it past 100 games. The best was probably Carlos Tevez, whose stay was disappointingly short. The worst was Carlos Sanchez. Pablo Zabaleta and Nobby Solano were great players but came to West Ham too late in their careers.

The full cast of South American players to feature in at least one first team game is shown below. There has yet to be a Bolivian or Venezuelan Hammer:

Argentina (Lanzini, Zabaleta, Tevez, Zarate, Calleri, Scaloni, Mascherano, Tarrico)
Brazil (Paqueta, Anderson, Ilan, Nene)
Chile (Margas, Jimenez)
Colombia (Sanchez, Armero)
Paraguay (Balbuena, Montenegro)
Uruguay (Poyet, Lopez)
Ecuador (Valencia)
Peru (Solano)

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On Thursday, Premier League clubs will vote on the proposal put forward by Wolves to scrap VAR. The indications are that it will not get the support of the 14 clubs needed to carry the motion. It has been reported that West Ham will be voting for its retention. The attitude of the clubs is a strange one. The general consensus is that VAR has made the matchday experience for supporters significantly worse. Any marginal improvement in the perceived accuracy of decisions – remembering that many are subjective anyway – is offset by a loss of spontaneity and prolonged review times. The feeling being that games are being officiated by faceless technicians in Stockley Park.

Against that, the TV media have grown to love VAR and the ‘talking points’ that it gives them. Presenters have made VAR checks part of the entertainment for the uncommitted hoe audience. It has also given them a sense of power as they view replays and listen in to the conversations of the VAR team. Decisions are announced in many cases before the referee and supporters in the stadium get to know. It is not a good way to treat the paying customers.

The best hope from Thursday’s vote may be to prompt a serious review of VAR’s remit. Their campaign to leave no stone unturned in finding a reason to disallow a goal has to be curtailed.

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It has been a quieter week on the gossip front with only 14 new names to add to last week’s total. A few shockers on the list which we can only hope have no substance to them.

West Ham Monday Briefing: New Coach Class, Paqueta’s Cautionary Tale, and Tim’s Smart Recruitment

Out with the old and in with the new at West Ham. But a lot of hard work is needed to freshen up the small and aged squad left behind and prepare them for a very different style of play.

That’s another season fully wrapped up. We now know the full lineup for the 2024/25 Premier League season and which of those clubs will be playing in the new convoluted format of European competition. The latter not being something that will involve West Ham this time around.

The season had ended for the Hammers the previous weekend with a typical Moyesball performance. The ten men behind the ball containment plan failing to make it beyond two minutes and taking all the wind out of Super Sunday’s sails. Manchester City should have been out of sight by the break until a stupendous Mohammed Kudus strike briefly gave the game the impression of a contest. But rather than attempt to capitalise on the hosts sudden jitters, it was back to Plan A for David Moyes, and the outcome became a formality. West Ham once again playing their part as perfectly obliging last-day opponents.

It is acceptable for people to have differing views of Moyes time at West Ham. Anyone is entitled to believe he did a fantastic job, but I imagine that view is skewed significantly by the Europa Conference win. An average league finish of 9^th over four seasons is roughly what should be expected for a club of its size. But achieving mediocrity in such a dull and cautious fashion was always the biggest beef.

What I cannot accept, however, are claims that Moyes left the club in a better position than he found it, A quick scan through the squad list should immediately dispel claims that it is in good shape. Having spent in excess of £400 million on player recruitment it is a shambles. It has often been said that Moyes ‘prefers’ to work with a small squad, as if that was ever a reasonable position for a club playing two games per week for large parts of the season. It was negligent, not reasonable. Anyway, we are now able to draw a line under the previous manager’s tenure and need never mention him again.

Julen Lopetegui was finally announced as West Ham’s head coach this week and it already feels like a breath of fresh air is blowing through Rush Green. How long that lasts will depend on the success or otherwise of the massive rebuilding job required in the upcoming transfer windows. The task is to big to fix all the problems in a single window. And it’s not just a case of bringing in the numbers, they also need to be bedded down into a style of play that is the polar opposite of the last four years. If it tkes eight to ten games to do that, then the pressure may be on.

The video released by the club on Lopetegui’s first day was obviously stage-managed for the sake of positivity, but there was a good feel to the relationship between the coach, Tim Steidten and Mark Noble. Maintaining that will be critical in the coming months for squad management, recruitment and bringing youth players into first team consideration.

The Lucas Paqueta situation has surely put a spanner in the works of the summer recruitment plans. Any thoughts of cashing in on a £85 million release clause to fund incoming transfers are now firmly on hold. Although, to be honest, I’ve struggled to understand how his maverick approach to the game would fit within the structure of Pep Guardiola’s keep-ball philosophy.

It is impossible to know how the charges will pan out with the FA. Do they have hard evidence or is it just a case of looking dodgy? There will need to be more than suspicious circumstances and a slow-motion VAR-style trial of Paqueta’s yellow-cards to justify ending someone’s career. And what are the timescales involved? The Ivan Toney case seemed to drag on for some months and Manchester City have been in the dock for almost 18 months over their 115 charges. If Paqueta is implicated, what was he thinking?

It is ironic that Betway were the whistleblowers in the case. The gambling industry is one of the most immoral and unscrupulous of all businesses and the sooner West Ham break the connection with them the better. Taking bets on throw-ins, corners, and yellow-cards is just asking for trouble.

The summer transfer window officially opens on June 14 but already the rumour mill has been running red-hot. Here is a cut out keep guide to the stories seen so far – I’m sure some have been missed.

We can only speculate on the positions Lopetegui and Stediten see as the priorities in sorting out the current mess. If the intention is possession-based football with a high press, high backline and with width coming from the full-backs then there’s not much to work with. A new striker, a couple of centre-backs, a new right back, and a defensive midfielder as a minimum.

Recruitment is going to have to be smart. It seems highly unlikely the club will be shopping in the £40 – £50 million aisle – certainly not for defenders. Tim is going to have to earn his corn and live up to the pearl-diving reputation.

It will be interesrting to see how the Flynn Downes resolves itself. Most supporters saw a very good player there but the manager who is no longer mentioned just didn’t fancy him. He can only have improved with a year at the top end of the Championship orchestrating play in a passing side – and there is the benefit of qualification as one of the homegrown contingent. While meeting the target of eight homegrown players enables the maximum 25 man squad to be achieved, no benefit is derived from registering a homegrown player if he is unlikely to ever feature e.g. Aaron Cresswell.

It is going to be a fascinating summer at the club with early business essential to ward off those recurring bad dreams whereby the intellectual lightweights of the pundit fraternity – Sutton, Crooks, Collymore and co – are whispering “be careful what you wish for” in my ear. COYI!

West Ham Play Cameo Role In End Of The Piers Show

The curtain comes down on another Premier League season with the Hammers involved in final day drama at The Etihad. Is there any chance of derailing a fourth successive title for Manchester City?

So here we are again. The final Premier League weekend of the season and the now traditional shifting of the weekend’s fixtures so that supporters must make their way home on Sunday rail replacement bus services once the action is over.

With almost all of the league’s placings now settled, TV executives at least have a theoretical title-decider to ramp up the afternoon’s excitement. The helicopter will be parked up in Birmingham awaiting final instructions on whether the mad, last-minute dash with the trophy is to The Emirates or The Etihad. I say, theoretical, because all that sits between Manchester City and a fourth successive title are the serial roll-over merchants from West Ham.

The Super Sunday crew would have been furious with Son Heung-min for missing that late chance to equalise on Tuesday night. The prospect of the two protagonists going into the final day equal on points would have been mouthwatering (© Peter Drury.) Then it would have come down to a first past the post who can outscore who contest. Now Manchester City have the luxury of only needing to win by any score, in a fixture they have been triumphant in on the last seven occasions.

Among the straws being clutched at by Piers Morgan and his pals down the Hornsey Road is that David Moyes has a surprisingly good record in games against Manchester City, ignoring the fact that most of that happened while the Citizens were just another football club. When Moyes has faced Pep Guardiola, the playing field has been about as level as lion versus wildebeest.

The game will, of course, be Moyes final farewell and he may well be chuffed with a third top ten finish in four years. Looking back at my pre-season predictions I had West Ham down as finishing 13^th. So, in some ways, he has exceeded my expectations. I just wouldn’t want to have to sit through it all again. At least he was able to sign off with a last home win last weekend once his side had woken up in the second half to ease past relegated Luton. No sooner had I been cursing the manager’s decision to opt for the terrible midfield double pivot of James Ward-Prowse and Tomas Soucek than both popped up to score. Yet, I shudder to think what might happen if he starts with the same pairing again on Sunday.

The decision to make Edson Alvarez the scapegoat for defeat to Chelsea was baffling. Alvarez has been one of the top performers all season and has sometimes acted alone in not treating the game passively. Maybe a ball-winner is surplus to requirements in a side set up not to have it.

It is hard to imagine Moyes making any radical changes for his last game. It will be the usual favourites playing their usual roles in the usual low block. My prediction is that it will hold out until the 17^th minute – and will be downhill from there. City just have too much quality to resist the charge just by putting as many bodies as possible in the way. They will eventually find a way through, past, or around.

The best hope is that a Premier League lawyer will run onto the pitch in added time to announce that City’s punishment for 115 breaches of the rules is to award the game to West Ham. I wonder if City will be stripped of their titles if found guilty of cheating?

In conclusion, my 2023/24 awards go to:

Player of the Year: Jarrod Bowen
Best Goal: Mohammed Kudus versus Freiburg
Best Goal (Premier League): Mohammed Kudus versus Brentford (away)
Bench Warmer of the Year: Divin Mubama
Annual Roberto Shocking Signing Award: Kalvin Phillips

Wouldn’t it be nice to believe the Hammers could be worthy opponents today. Not for anyone else’s sake but our own. It doesn’t make much difference to me who wins the league. I see no lesser between the two evils. How about countering the earlier cynicism with dreams of a last-minute Vladimir Coufal winner? COYI!

Meet The New Boss, Not The Same As The Old Boss

It’s all change at West Ham in what promises to be a busy summer of rebuilding at the London Stadium. The fun starts with David Moyes farewell in a Hammers versus Hatters showdown.

At last, the moment that many have been waiting for as Moyesball faces the final curtain at the London Stadium. We’ve loved, we’ve laughed and cried. We’ve had our fill (and in the last two seasons) our share of losing. And through it all, we lost the ball, while he stubbornly did it – Moyes way.

When the news of David Moyes departure broke in the week, it was met with the inevitable social media storm of outrage from the usual quarters. Reported as if everyone had found out at the same time, it prompted a volley of charges that the club had treated the manager disgustingly after all that he had achieved during his four and a half years in charge. These claims are predicated on the assumption that those involved were unaware that a search for a new manager was underway. Oblivious to the fact that it had been under discussion months beforehand. If the club were insistent on heading down a ‘head coach’ rather than ‘manager’ route, there was no way Moyes would agree to those terms. A scenario where Tim Steidten was sneaking around in the shadows and doodling “I ♡ J Lo” on the dressing room tactics board is the type of juvenile nonsense that only someone as gullible as Richard Keys could fall for

As I have written on several occasions previously, the history books will show David Moyes time at West Ham in a positive light. That is all the majority of causal observers who take only a passing interest in the club look at when they warn us with great monotony that little old West Ham should be careful what they wish for. Rather than being derided, Hammer’s fans deserve great credit for their insistence that style and eentertainment is more important than grinding out results on a weekly basis.

The whole David Moyes tenure at West Ham has been a time of ambiguity. He didn’t really save us from relegation, did he? He only managed one more point in 19 games than Pellegrini had achieved in the first half of the season. But then the 2020/21 season was arguably the Hammers best ever in the Premier League with a record number of wins and points – and a return to European football. Perhaps nostalgia is getting the better of me but I remember the second half of that campaign as a period of exciting, fast-paced counterattacking football at its best. The following season then started in the same vein but fell away sharply in the new year – after failing to strengthen the squad in the January transfer window – despite a couple of excellent performances in the Europa League against Lyon and Sevilla.

It was January 2022 when the rot had started to set in. Moyesball had been rumbled by other Premier League managers, there was no plan B, and the manager double down on his retreat to caution. The league record since then has shown the return of a lower to mid table side – a lowly average of 1.2 points per game. Despite this gradual decline in league form, the event that will forever represent Moyes time at West Ham is the Europa Conference win. It was a fantastic moment for supporters who had been starved of success for so long. The slow motion memory of Jarrod Bowen runningon to Lucas Paqueta’s pass can never be taken away. It may not have been the most prestigious competition, but it is still silverware. The celebrations in Prague and in east London the following day showed what it meant. For many fans, it was the first ever experience of success.

Progress is a complicated concept at a football club. There have been the highs of two top seven finishes and a trophy in the past four years, but can we honestly see a club that is progressing rather than one that had a few good seasons? Would progress have left us with such a small and ageing squad? Have we seen players arrive at the club and be changed beyond all recognition by progressive coaching methods? Have we witnessed any youngsters from a successful youth setup make it further than bench warming duties? I think we know the answers.

Although he will not be officially unveiled until after the end of the current season, the strong assumption is that Julen Lopetegui will start work as West Ham head coach on 1 June. Whether or not he was anybody’s first choice – other than the Boards – he is now the man we need to get behind. He has a huge rebuilding job on his hands if he intends to bring his preferred playing style to the London Stadium. A fair few of the current squad are ill-equipped, either through age, pace or technical ability, to play in a possession based, high press, high backline formation. The close season will be even more interesting to watch than usual as the rebuilding begins and the rumour mills go wild.

Before that, there is a small matter of a Premier League game against relegation threatened Luton. There is much more at stake for the visitors than the few million gained or lost from each league position. I rarely have strong views on who goes down and who stays up but would love to see Luton hang on for a second season. Against all the odds it has been a valiant effort by Rob Edwards’ side. It will be a tough ask tfor them hough. Perhaps they can bring one of their Luton vans with them to help move all the low blocks out of the stadium.

It is difficult to know what level of opposition the Hammes will offer today. The season is effectively over but will they want to put on a show for the departing manager? Will Moyes spring any selection surprises or stick with the tried and tested under-achievers? My one wish is that Jarrod Bowen grabs the goal that finally beats Paolo Di Canio’s record of most West Ham goals in a Premier League season. Good luck, Jarrod!

As for David Moyes? He deserves a respectful farewell but there’s too much negativity for him to be ever considered a West Ham legend. COYI!

David Moyes Farewell Tour Heads To Stamford Bridge

Laughing like children, giving to scammers, rolling like thunder, under the hammers. I guess that’s why they call them the Blues …..

The fat lady has charged up her calculator and has estimated the chances of West Ham qualifying for Europe as slimmer than the bumper book of German humour. The singing is about to start very shortly.

In truth, most of us – those who are not pundits – have known for some time that the European dream is over for the time being. A record of just three wins and 16 points from 16 games in 2024 tells you everything you need to know if you are looking at it objectively. It’s relegation form rather than a storming end to the season. With Chelsea finally waking up and Bournemouth on a roll, even a top half finish is by no means certain.

No-one seems to care much about how events might unfold on the football pitch anyway. The managerial shenanigans are far more entertaining. It is ludicrous to swallow the official line that no final decision has been taken by the Board. They are not going to be sitting around a table on May 19 – following a ritual thrashing by Manchester City – for a performance review and to talk things over: “Under weaknesses, David, you’ve put down chips and deep fried cornetto?” David Moyes is history, and anyone with any sense knows that to be the case. There is no way back for him from here. The only outstanding matter is for the official announcement to be made. Like a killer caught on CCTV, holding a smoking gun, blood on his clothes, and DNA all over the corpse, who just hasn’t heard the jury’s verdict yet.

The news that Tim Steidten has been electronically tagged to prevent him stalking the player;s dressing room is a classic West Ham gaffe. No, it wasn’t a good idea for Tim to turn up at the end of season party dressed as the Grim Reaper but that’s German humour for you.

I find it really puzzling why the Board have decided to stretch uncertainty until the final curtain. It might have made sense while the Europa League campaign was still ongoing, but not now. I don’t see who it benefits, and it must create the most awkward of situations for both Moyes and Steidten. Trying to avoid each other like a divorcing couple still sharing the same house.

The list of potential Moyes replacements gets a little longer by the day. As with transfer speculation we can assume that all but one or two of the links are pure media invention. A few weeks back, I threw in the name of Sebastian Hoenes who I had not seen linked previously. Should that happen, I will claim the credit for breaking the news.

Of all the names so far put forward as serious contenders, Julen Lopetegui is my least favourite – but unfortunately, I have no say in the matter. So, who is it going to be? According to Under The Hammers inside sources, Hansi Flick has been spotted eating jellied eels in Whitechapel, Ruben Amorim has enrolled for an online course in Cockney Rhyming Slang, and Paulo Fonseca has been learning the words to Chim Chim Cher-ee. A lot of positive interest there, then. For what it’s worth, my money is on Fonseca.

As for the weekend’s game at Stamford Bridge it has the makings of another comprehensive battering as our old-timers are given the runaround by a rejuvenated Chelsea youth. There is nothing to suggest the Hammers have the mettle to bounce back from their recent four month atrophy.

It would be nice to think that even at this late stage Moyes would try something different – throw in a youngster or two – but it’s likely to be the usual suspects, ta rademark low block, and Mohammed Kudus marooned on the left wing. The gameplan will be to setup for a draw, which the manager would regard as an exceptional result.

The most positive outcome from the match (other than it being one less match before the end of the season) is the chance for Jarrod Bowen to break Paolo Di Canio’s Premier League scoring record. It would be well deserved.

The Hammer’s recent foray into playing short goal-kicks from the back have been nothing short of comical. In the past, the keeper would just hoof a goal kick long in the hope that Tomas Soucek would head it an opponent. Now it goes from the keeper to Zouma, to Oggy, to Zouma and finally back to the keeper to hoof it long. Excellent progress with a few extra passes to add to the possession stats. I’ve called it comical but the inability to pass, move and make space emphasises how the squad has been assembled to play one way only – Moyesball. Whoever comes in has a job and a half on their hands.

The Hammers hopes of clinging on to a top half finish is likely to come down to results the following weekend when the Hammes host Luton and Bournemouth face Brentford. The other games look like formalities. COYI!

The Game Is Up For David Moyes But Can You Guess What Happens Next?

As the on-pitch action fizzles out like a damp squib, the only east-end plotline of note is who’s next for the West Ham hot-seat?

We know, he knows, we know he knows, and he knows we know he knows. Even his pals in the media have finally caught up. The story now isn’t whether David Moyes leaves West Ham or not, but who will replace him when he does. Will they be embarrassed by their superficial punditry and careful-what-you-wish-for-ery? I doubt it. It does make you wonder what value pundits and co-commentators bring to the game, but I guess their job is to get a reaction, not to offer reasoned analysis.

It would be better for all concerned if the club now came out and confirmed the manager will be departing at the end of his contract. Leaving it up in the air makes no sense. Moyes will continue sniping at questions about his future in post-match interviews and the players will feel able to play with a touch more freedom in the final four games.

For the elimination of any remaining doubt here’s a quick refresher on the downward trajectory of Moyesball since its peak at the end of December 2022. In the 90 (NINETY) league games since then there have been 30 wins and 40 defeats – a sorry win percentage of just 33%. Most recently, we have celebrated victory only three times in the last 15 Premier League fixtures. A manager lauded for his organisation skills and defensive nous has presided over the leakiest defence in the division outside the bottom three. And all of this while playing the dullest, dreariest, drabbest excuse for football known to mankind.

As attention turns to what comes next there are several obvious problem areas. Firstly, the summer will be a busy period of managerial change. Just in the Premier League, Manchester United, Chelsea and Newcastle may all be joining Liverpool in looking for a fresh face and fresh ideas. Any coach with a decent CV will be in heavy demand with swift action required. Secondly, an astute coach might run his finger down the thin and ageing squad list and baulk at the size of the rebuilding job required to make it fit for purpose. And, thirdly, the sceptical (hopefully not cynical) suspicion that the Board are incapable of acting with good sense and vision in appointing a successor.

Journalists and commentators have been busily scouring Wikipedia to ensure there are no shortage of managerial rumours. Roughly they fall into three categories: young up-and-coming continental coaches; older been-round-the-blocks experienced managers; and the comedy candidates – yes, you can even get odds on Steve Cooper, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Scott Parker.

Many Hammer’s fans are putting a lot of faith in the Board taking heed of Tim Steidten’s wise counsel. For the club to progress it has to adopt a far more enlightened approach to both player and coach/ manager recruitment. Identifying potential instead of signing agent recommendations for established players who are not good enough for the bigger clubs. A long list of expensive flops is testament to the shortcomings of past practice. But Steidten will need all his powers of persuasion. For the West Ham Board, a 39-year-old is more likley to be seen as a new player than a manager. Attitudes have to change with the decision makers, whatever that dynamic is in the current ownership structure..

Of the names that have been mentioned, Arne Slot and Ruben Amorin generate the most excitement but are sure to have more glamourous suitors – although it’s not out of the question that a club like West Ham could prove a useful stepping stone for them. Thomas Tuchel’s name has been linked since his departure from Bayern was announced and could be viewed as West Ham’s answer to Unai Emery. He is another who may attract the attention of bigger clubs (Manchester United) and there is an underlying concern as to how well those who have managed at the top can adapt to life further down the ladder. On the face of it, the same might be said of early front-runner, Julen Lopetegui. But dig a little deeper and his CV is not particularly impressive. A short, failed stint at Real Madrid and one Europa League win during a two and a half year spell at Sevilla is not much to show as a 59-year-old. He’s a ‘no’ from me!

The remaining suspects who could satisfy the Board’s desire for experience and also fit within our price and feasibility range are Graham Potter, Gary O’Neil and Paulo Fonseca. I have reservations about Potter. For all the intricacies of his football it lacks the explosive element required to turn possession into goals. With O’Neil, I still have him pigeon-holed as a backs-to-the-wall manager. Great work at Bournemouth and Wolves but very much in the counter-attacking mould.

That leaves Fonseca, the only one of the three without Premier League experience. His brand of football is encouraging but can it translate to the English game? In the past he has been linked with moves to Tottenham, Newcastle, and Aston Villa but nothing has ever come of it. Is there a reason?

I have zero inside track on what might happen. I would be happy with Amorin or Fonseca but its not my call. Equally, there may be other names on Tim’s list that are being kept firmly under wraps. Past performance does not guarantee future results but what are the chances of the Board making the right choice. Steve Bruce anyone?

Despite all the intrigue there’s still the matter of a home match against Liverpool at the weekend. The visitor’s title hopes were effectively torpedoed in last night’s Merseyside derby leaving the high hopes of a magnificent Klopp farewell triumph in tatters. The German has chosen a good time to leave Anfield as it has the look of a team on the way down, at least in the short term. Players such as Nunez and Diaz are decent enough, but do not measure up to the departed Firmino and Mane at their peak. A reaction to the Everton defeat should be enough to see them ease past a demoralised West Ham who have the look of a side going through the motions.

Oddly enough, despite an appalling run of performances and results, European qualification is still mathematically possible. Other sides as well as the Hammers seemingly reluctant to take the opportunity for the minor placings. Could events still take an unexpected turn? COYI!

Moyes, The Palace, And Resignation

The exit of David Moyes looks increasingly certain as the season enters its final weeks. The beginning of the end starts with West Ham’s cross town visit to take on struggling Crystal Palace

In the end the Europa League exit we were expecting came at the hands of Bayer Leverkusen at the London Stadium on Thursday night . There was no faulting the effort and commitment of the players or the intensity at which West Ham approached the game, but ultimately old legs and the lack of reinforcements to replace them turned the tide.

The Hammers had the German champions on the ropes for much of the opening hour. Alonso was forced into making three tactical substitutions before the second half was underway as his side looked decidedly rattled. And then at around 65 minutes, West Ham ran out of steam. Unused to playing a high press, the demands began to take its toll. With nothing of note on the bench, the game petered out as a contest and even the consolation of becoming the first side to beat Leverkusen this season was lost.

What might have been if West Ham had taken another of their early chances can only be speculated upon. It would have made matters interesting but added time would have been a huge challenge. And with a referee who was becoming increasingly erratic as the game progressed who knows how many players would have been left on the pitch.

If the manager took the same approach to games as a matter of routine, rather than saving it up for occasional must-win European ties, then the ranks of Moyes Out supporters would be nowhere near as numerous. It has been fascinating to watch the narrative switch in the last few days with the now almost universal acknowledgement that Moyes contract will not be renewed. It is now an open secret which I guess will be spun as a face-saving mutual agreement once the final whistle sounds on May 19. The manager packing his bags with the claim that he had rejected a new deal.

As I have said before, the history books will present Moyes time at West Ham in a positive light. Although it may not be remembered quite as fondly by a good many of those who were there and paying attention. I am not personally sold on the idea that he has done a superb job. There were, of course, highlights – exciting counter-attacking football in the 2020/21 season and the memorable night in Prague – but the multiple flaws cannot be ignored. The dour, safety-first nature of the football; the inferiority complex against top sides; the absence of tactical flexibility; poor in-game management and use of substitutions; the obsession with running with a tiny squad; players played out of position; and the lack of trust in youth. If and when he goes, he will leave the club with the smallest/ oldest squad in the Premier League, and the need for an urgent summer rebuild. And this despite record breaking investment in new players during four years in charge.

With both manager and player recruitment on the cards, it will make for a double whammy of incoming speculation during the summer months. Clearly, the managerial situation needs to be resolved as the priority, if only to quell fears over some of the unimaginative names being thrown around. Not sure I would be excited by the appointment of Graham Potter but others – Thomas Tuchel, Arne Slot, Kieran McKenna – sound intriguing. The benchmark is not to hire someone who is better than we currently have, but to hire the best man for the job of bringing entertaining football to a second level Premier League club. Another name to throw in the ring is Sebastian Hoeneß who has done an outstanding job at Stuttgart in the shadow of Alonso.

If the pundits are right – unlikely I know – there will be a long line of suitors ready to employ the newly available David Moyes. We will wait to see how well that turns out.

Between now and then, West Ham have the contractual obligation to complete another five Premier League games, starting with today’s fixture against Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park. Theoretically, there is still a target of European qualification for the Hammers, but it is looking to be an increasingly outside bet after last weekend’s loss at home to Fulham. The way I see it is a maximum three or four points from the remaining games with a 9^th or 10^th placed finish.

Palace pulled off a shock win at Liverpool on Sunday to record only their second win in ten games. It has been a less than spectacular start to his Crystal Palace career for manager Oliver Glasner, who holds a 100% record in games against David Moyes – from his tenure at Eintracht Frankfurt. Glasner has been hampered by injuries to key players and his side still need the comfort of a few more points to push away any thoughts of relegation. They will see today as one of the best opportunities in their run-in for the three points needed to ensure safety. Defensively they look suspect but carry a major attacking threat from the flanks through Eze and Olise. Wharton in the centre of midfield has also looked a genuine prospect.

West Ham have several injury concerns going into the game to add to the usual post-Thursday malaise. Among the doubtful are Alphonse Areola, Konstantinos Mavropanos, Jarrod Bowen, Nayef Aguerd, and someone called Kalvin Phillips. There should, however, be recalls for Lucas Paqueta and Emerson after their midweek suspensions. It could mean one last run-out for veteran Angelo Ogbonna who strangely always make the backline appear more secure. Otherwise, the lineup is unlikely to feature any surprises.

My head says defeat, my heart says a scrappy draw. That’s how low expectations are. COYI!

After Midweek Europa Disappointment West Ham Can Still Finish The Weekend In The Premier League Top Six

A West Ham win against Fulham would see them leapfrog Newcastle and Manchester United into the Premier League top six. But can they shale off Thursday’s footballing lesson to do so?

If West Ham’s Europa Cup adventure isn’t quite yet dead and buried then it’s on life support in a David Moyes induced coma. Only the spirit of Den Haag from 1976 can now save us in Thursday’s second leg.

The cautious approach to the Leverkusen game was as expected with Moyes opting for a 3-6-1 formation in the absence of Jarrod Bowen and Edson Alvarez. The lack of depth in the squad – by design rather than accident – continues to astonish anyone who has been paying attention. Whose most cunning of all plans was this to face the extreme demands of Premier League and European football with the smallest squad of players known to man. And with a manager who runs the chosen few players into the ground while marginalising those on the bench with the crumbs of ninetieth minute substitutions. No wonder the dinosaurs died out in added time.

After West Ham peaked as an attacking force in the 8^th minute – their only shot of the game – it was ten men behind the ball for the remainder of the tie. One should not fault the effort of the players in carrying out the manager’s orders, but it was no surprise that one of the Premier League’s leakiest defences was eventually breached by their all conquering opponents. Leverkusen only needed to get lucky once and by the end had managed it twice. The cowardice of the approach by a side from the continents ‘premier’ league in the quarter final of a cup competition was the true disgrace of the evening. Careful what you wish for, my bahoochie!

Topping off the day’s events were the yellow cards won by Lucas Paqueta and Emerson, who now both miss the second leg. They say the only inevitable things in life are death and taxes, but Paqueta getting booked in that game couldn’t be far behind. It would have been part of Alonso’s plan to needle him, but a mature footballer needs to be able to deal with such provocation. I imagine it was double cachaças all-round on Paqueta Island on Thursday night. I have mentioned before, but I struggle with the idea of Paqueta as a Pep Guardiola player. His maverick, instinctive, flicks and tricks seem at odds with Guardiola’s obsessive attention to control and ball retention. The Old Trafford circus is a far likelier destination for him.

Of immediate interest to West Ham is a return to league football and an encounter with Fulham at the London Stadium. Remarkable that a win would see them climb up to sixth in the table. There is little enthusiasm among the chasing pack to qualify for the Europa Conference, it seems. The only form team are Newcastle who have a new lease of life since being gifted the points by the Hammers two weeks ago. Any more performances like yesterdays from big Ange will see Ryan Mason back in charge at the Lane before you can say “what’s the point of Timo Werner.”

West Ham’s recent league form has stumbled between mediocre and uninspiring, although they did manage to scrape their third victory of 2024 at Wolves last weekend. The first half was as poor a performance as any this season and was only saved by the hosts lack of precision in front of goal. The half time changes (plus Wolves losing Ait-Nouri) changed the complexion of the game completely. Not sure how much credit the manager gets for fixing his own mistakes, but it did show the group can play decent, front-foot football when given the opportunity. Even then the irresistible urge to drop back once in the lead was obvious and it was only thanks to VAR that the three points were preserved.

Jarrod Bowen and Alphonse Areola will again be absent and there are injury concerns reported with Dinos Mavropanos. A wise manager would move Mohammed Kudus to the right and bring in a specialist left sided replacement – Maxwell Cornet or Oliver Scarles (heresy, I know). But we know Moyes will persist with a defensive midfield three of Edson Alvarez, Tomas Soucek, and James Ward-Prowse. Michail Antonio will be left to expend whatever puff he has in the tank until he is replaced by Ben Johnson in the 69^th minute.

You may remember years ago the West Ham programme would occasionally publish the unofficial London Championship table. Well, as a treat, this is what it looks like for 2023/24 to date.

A decent effort by the Hammers despite experiencing two of the most humiliating thrashings of the season. The 6-0 home defeat to Arsenal, and the 5-0 surrender at Craven Cottage. Today presents an opportunity for revenge against Marco Silva’s side who have yet to win away in London.

Silva is one of the names occasionally touted around as a potential summer replacement for the Moyesiah. From his record, it is difficult to know what to make of him. He comes across as a passionate, tactically astute manager and a good motivator. His brand of football is attractive and way more courageous than what we have become used to, but his teams appear to perform in fits and starts. A run of good results followed by an equally lengthy slump – or that’s my perception of it. Better than what we’ve got but not necessarily the best we can get.

Fulham have a fully fit squad to call on today with South American trio Palhinha, Willian, and Muniz the players to watch out for. After a slow start, Muniz has hit a rich run of goalscoring form and is the main threat to the Hammers hopes of keeping a first clean sheet in 13 games. Only Sheffield United have won fewer away games than the visitors and their win at Manchester United in February is the only success in the last 15 on the road.

The lack of squad rotation has made the Sunday after the Thursday before a less than rewarding time for West Ham – just two wins from the last eight. I can see that run continuing with a 1-1 draw this afternoon. COYI!

Is There Any Hope For West Ham Against Das Invincibles?

It feels like mission impossible for West Ham as they attempt to do what no other team has done this season and get the better of Bayer Leverkusen. Can they do enough to keep the tie alive in the second leg?

Your mission, West Ham, should you wish to accept it, is to come away from the Bay Arena tonight with the quarter final tie still live. Expectations are set no higher than that. On the face of it, this would have been an uphill task at the best of times. With key players, in Jarrod Bowen and Edson Alvarez missing, the challenge is all the more formidable.

Leverkusen have been a revelation this season – arguably European club football’s team of the season. Unbeaten in 41 matches across all competitions and their sights firmly set on a historic treble. A first ever Bundesliga title is all but done, ending Bayern Munich’s eleven season run as champions – bad luck, Harry! A German Cup Final appointment at the end of May against second tier strugglers, FC Kaiserslautern, should be a formality. And then there is the Europa League where they stand as second favourites behind Liverpool.

For the Hammers, it is a game where the pragmatism of Moyesball may well have a valid place, at least in theory. In reality, the approach doesn’t have the greatest track record on its travels against the very top teams. And in all honesty, there have been very few stand-out defensive displays – and even fewer clean sheets – from David Moyes team over the past couple of seasons.

There is little comfort to be taken from claims that West Ham are now seasoned Euro campaigners who have a record of showing up in big games. If teels like clutching at straws. The former might be helpful across a campaign but is tempered by most opponents having hailed from the continent’s second tier leagues; the latter has only been seen on rare occasions. It is not a side with a positive big game mentality. Euro wins against Freiburg and Lyon were exciting but they were games we should be winning. Beating Sevilla was arguably the only true example of overcming the odds.

It is not easy to gauge exactly where Leverkusen would sit in a Premier League context; it is surely top three or four on this year’s evidence. The odds are stacked against the Hammers, especially for an away leg. What is needed is one of those extraordinary resilient displays where the footballing gods, officials, VAR, inspired goalkeeping and poor opposition finishing align to deliver an unexpected miracle.

It will be a fascinating contrast in styles. Moyes set in his ways, rigid formation, narrow defence, low block, ambivalent about possession, hoping for a breakaway or set piece to snatch a goal. Alonso, innovative, focused on flexible roles rather than formations, dominating possession, probing, and with multiple options to breakdown opponents. The threat down the flanks by Frimpong and Grimaldo is a huge danger to a cumbersome backline. It promises to be a long night and it is perhaps appropriate that the city is famous for its pharmaceutical industry – we may all need strong medication by the end of the night.

West Ham have a mixed record against German sides in Europe with six wins, six defeats and one draw. Three of those wins came against Freiburg this season with the others against TSV Munich (1965), FC Magdeburg (1966), and Eintracht Frankfurt (1976). Against that, the Hammers have lost to Eintracht Frankfurt three times, Borussia Dortmund twice, and Freiburg once. This will be a first ever competitive meeting with Leverkusen who themselves have an indifferent record against English clubs – having won just four and lost 12 in 21 attempts.

Moyes has few options to play with from his tiny squad for the game. There must be a good chance that he goes with three at the back in a 3-4-2-1 formation that would match up in a way with the hosts. The issue is that none of the ‘possibles’ to play alongside Kurt Zouma and Dinos at the back has played much football in 2024. Moyes will most likely opt for Aaron Cresswell rather than Nayef Aguerd or Angelo Ogbonna although Aguerd’s pace might represent a more sensible choice.

No question that Emerson plays at left wing-back but it is a toss up on the right between Vladimir Coufal and Ben Johnson. Coufal has been quite flaky in recent weeks. I think Johnson shades it in a wing-back role but guess Moyes will stick with the Czech. By default, the middle of the second row has to be filled by Tomas Soucek and James Ward-Prowse. This a huge worry for me as a pairing – lacking in pace and mobility. The only remaining alternative would be out-of-sorts Kalvin Phillips, but he has, reportedly, not travelled to Germany.

This leaves a front three of Lucas Paqueta, Mohammed Kudus, and Michail Antonio. Plenty of attacking potential but the deeper two may spend most of their time defending leaving Antonio isolated. It is possible that Leverkusen will find Antonio’s muscle hard to handle but he rarely has 90 minutes in him these days.

Leverkusen did have a scare in the Europa League Round of 16 when they went two goals down at home in the second leg to Qarabag. The game followed a 2-2 draw in Azerbaijan. They eventually won the game with two goals in added time. Alonso had rotated his squad for that tie but is unlikely to do so against Premier League opposition. Other than that, the hosts have an impressive home record of 19 wins, 2 draws and no defeats in all competitions.

Minimum requirement from tonight is to be no more than a goal down in the tie. Anything worse feels irretrievable against a team so adept at exploiting space. A win or draw would, of course, be incredible – but just seems so improbable. A secondary objective would be for Paqueta and Emerson to avoid the yellow card that would see them miss the second leg. Wirtz from Leverkusen is similarly at risk.

The best suggestion for tonight is a collective appeal to St Jude, the patron saint of desperate situations and lost causes – mixed with a healthy dose of Motes much vaunted resilience. It’s a long shot but it might just work. COYI!