Author: Geoff Hopkins

Nuno’s Caution, Obliging Hosts and A Sad Farewell to King Billy Bonds MBE

Six foot two, eyes of blue, Billy Bonds is after you, na na na na na na na na na! An awful game of football was an ill-fitting tribute to this exceptional club legend.

Most of us can easily reel off our list of favourite ever games. Nights of thrilling football, electric atmospheres and tribal passions often elevated by uncertainty and jeopardy. Where the buzz of adrenaline, exhilaration and emotion kicked in from having witnessed something truly special. West Ham versus Liverpool was not one of those games.

In fact, it was an awful spectacle from beginning to end. Unfit to be classsed as an elite sporting contest in the supposed greatest league in the world. And no fit way to honour the memory of a sadly departed West Ham legend. It was drab, dreary, uneventful and without even a hint of entertainment. An afternoon to forget. To be archived immediately by the brain and filed away in its junk folder.

Unfortunately, for West Ham fans such afternoons and evenings are increasingly becoming the norm. The rot set in back in January 2024. The season had started well enough despite the loss of Declan Rice with a momentum carried over from the Conference League success. But as winter set in, it started to run out of steam. Reinforcements were badly needed. A squad refresh for the busy schedule of domestic and European football to come. But true to form, the club did nothing. Bad decisions which have been coming home to roost ever since.

In the intervening period, league performances have plummeted faster than a politician’s approval rating. The return from the past 70 matches is just 73 points and a meagre 18 wins – 9 in 36 home games and 9 in 34 away games. How are supporters meant to be motivated when a visit to the London Stadium offers only a 25% chance of success? And where successive managerial emphasis on caution at the expense of entertainment (remember that?) has served up an uninspiring average of little over one West Ham goal per game.

Pundits frequently talk about managers of ‘lesser’ clubs needing to be pragmatic. As if that excuses or is equivalent to the need for overzealous timidity. It is faulty reasoning. Being pragmatic is about making optimum use of the resources available in all areas of the pitch. Playing to your strengths. Managers command large salaries for their apparent expertise in adapting tactics and selections to suit individual sets of circumstances. Parking as many players behind the ball as possible in every game, regardless of opposition or situation does not represent pragmatism. It reflects a lack of imagination.

Here we were then, facing a hesitant Liverpool side. With a manager under pressure and a team low on confidence, riddled with defensive uncertainty following a long winless run of results. How best then to capitalise on these anxieties? Nuno’s answer was to act as the most obliging of hosts. Providing Liverpool the opportunity to play themselves back into form. Sit deep, abandon attacking ambition and allow a suspect defence the easiest afternoon they will have all season (or at least until the return fixture at Anfield!)

To be fair, there were few complaints about the starting eleven that Nuno had selected. The makeup of the bench was another matter though. Why does he persist with all three of Tomas Soucek, Guido Rodriguez and Andy Irving in the matchday squad? Under what possible scenario would they be brought into the action together? Their presence only serves to signal the tone of the manager’s intentions while severely restricting the attacking options available for those (frequent) occasions where you go a goal down. Surely, George Earthy and Callum Marshall would offer more balance and greater variety from the bench.

If the starting eleven looked acceptable on paper, it was substandard in its application. The pitiful levels of pressure applied to a wounded opponent were a shocking disappointment. We can’t be certain whether this is team orders or down to individual players but, as ever, the Hammers long-running striker predicament was compounded by an inability or reluctance to get sufficient bodies into the penalty area in support.

West Ham’s limitations with on-field leadership was brought into sharp focus during the Lucas Paqueta debacle. It was obvious that the Brazilian had completely lost control of his mind and yet none of his colleagues made a serious attempt to intervene and calm the situation down. Skipper Jarrod Bowen, standing a matter of yards away, was particularly culpable in acting as a disinterested bystander.

Many have commented on Bowen’s drop in form in recent weeks. He was certainly ineffective on Sunday (apart from the one late shot which was as close to a shot on target as we got) but much of this may be down to opponents recognising he is the Hammer’s only significant threat – and doubling up his marking as a result. Essentially, stop Bowen and you stop West Ham.

***

The sad backdrop to Sunday’s game was the breaking news that Billy Bonds MBE had died. By any metric Bonzo was one of the greatest players to ever wear the claret and blue. A total of 799 appearances across 20 seasons in three different decades. The scorer of 61 goals and an inspirational captain who twice lifted the FA Cup.

His exploits and longevity had made him a hero to many generations of West Ham fans. For some reason, my 13-year-old paper boy self can quite clearly recall when I first learnt of his signing. The first stop on my round was two blocks of flats, and I would stop for a while to scan through the back pages for the latest sports news and gossip – or what passed for it back then. I must admit I had never heard of Billy Bonds at the time, but a new young full back sounded like it would be an exciting prospect.

Billy made his debut in the opening game of the 1967/68 season – a home defeat by Sheffield Wednesday – alongside fellow new signings Bobby Ferguson (from Kilmarnock) and John Cushley (from Celtic). Little did we know what impression he would make at the club.

There are just too many superlatives that can be applied to Billy Bonds – tough, wholehearted, dedicated, commanding, courageous, composed, loyal, tenacious, tireless, energetic and so on and so on. He was the embodiment of effort and dedication in a football shirt. A versatile footballer who excelled in every position he played in – rampaging full back, competitive midfielder, or unyielding central defender. A real West Ham warrior (with matching hair and beard) who competed hard and fair, who played on through the knocks, who would fight for every ball but always within the spirit of the game. There was no underhand niggling, malice or gamesmanship in Billy’s locker.

Having first experienced the West Ham of Moore, Hurst, and Peters, Billy was not my first Hammer’s hero, but he stands proudly on the podium with the best. Although the term is often thrown around loosely these days, Bonzo was a true club legend.

***

Yet another defeat has left West Ham in a precarious position towards the foot of the Premier League table. It’s shaping up as a four or five horse race for the three relegation places. Any three from Wolves, Burnley, Leeds, West Ham and possibly Forest for the drop. Three of the five having already played their joker by sacking at least one manager.

Points are badly needed from the two tricky away fixtures at Old Trafford and the Amex Stadium scheduled over the following five days. But it is difficult to see where they might come from. After that Malick Diouf and AWB will be off to AFCON 2025. Desperate times. COYI!

Nuno And A Classic Tale Of Game Mismanagement: West Ham Draw At Bournemouth

One point is snatched from the jaws of three as West Ham invite Bournemouth to an uncontested 45-minute second half shootout at the Vitality Stadium.

On the face of it, returning from the Vitality Stadium with one point in the bag could be seen as a job well done. Bournemouth are no mugs and many of us would have taken the draw prior to kick-off. And seven points from the last three games is not to be sniffed at. So, why so much post-match negativity among supporters? The simple answer: because it felt very much like two points thrown away rather than one earned.  

Nuno had received plenty of media plaudits following the two consecutive home victories against Newcastle and Burnley. They were much needed wins, the league table looked less desperate and there was a sense he may have “turned things around”. Yet, I can’t shake the doubts from my mind that he was as much the architect of our dire situation – from his bewildering selections and tactics against Brentford and Leeds – as he was our saviour. A sleight of hand like the firefighting arsonist who first sets the blaze and later returns as the hero to put it out.

It’s now eight points from seven games for Nuno. An improvement over the hapless Graham Potter but still well within the realms of disappointment. The next seven games take us through to the end of the year; the halfway stage of the season and the opening of the transfer window. Following the first three of those games, players will depart for AFCON 2025 – and may potentially be missing until the last week of January. It’s a tough run of fixtures during which the Hammers cannot afford to lose touch with our fellow stragglers. A point per game is a minimum return.

Having carved out the two home wins with a solid, dependable and unspectacular 4-3-3, Nuno elected to exercise his tactical chops with a return to a three-man central defence. What might have looked liked a 3-4-3 from the safety of the white board turned into a uninspiring 5-4-1 for most of the game. The driver for change was either to compensate for the absence of Lucas Paqueta, to counter the Cherry’s swift attacking threat, or just for the hell of it. Whatever way, it served to set the tone of the afternoon. The Hammers would be competing as underdogs.

How we have arrived at a situation where Bournemouth (£169 m in revenues and average attendance 11,200) have superior resources and depth to their squad than West Ham (£268 m in revenues and average attendance 62,400) is staggering. But we know the answer, don’t we? It is the direct consequence of the fetid band of grifters, chancers and charlatans in the boardroom responsible for sullying the great name of West Ham United for the past 15 years. As with Robin Banks, the detective, or Clara Knet, the musician, we can see nominative determinism at work here. Sully – verb: to damage, soil, or tarnish a reputation. BS Out!

As for Bournemouth, it is a very well-run club. They ditched a safety-first coach to appoint a progressive, visionary coach in Iraola. They have coped with (and profited from) the lucrative sales of Zabarnyi, Huijsen, Kerkez, Ouattara, and Solanke. And yet still have a more valuable squad than West Ham according to Transfermkt.

Reaching half-time two goals up came as a huge surprise. The lead courtesy of two expertly taken Callum Wilson goals rather than any tactical superiority displayed by the Hammers. How refreshing to have a main striker who understands the role with an opportunistic eye for goal. A great shame he’s not half a dozen years younger.

Apart from the goals, West Ham had been happy to surrender possession for most of the half. But in doing so, managed to limit the Bournemouth threat to a handful of half chances. Aside from a couple of dangerous Malick Diouf crosses, the wing backs rarely left their own half. Both Jarrod Bowen and Luis Guilherme looked uncertain in their narrow roles and too often they occupied the space the wing backs were meant to run into. As a front three, they were never close enough to operate as a functioning unit. And there were never enough attacking bodies in the box at any one time.

Still, it was a nice position to be in at the break. A third win on the bounce was certainly not out of the question. Until everything started to go wrong.

First change (46 minutes): KWP for Guilherme. There was some debate whether this was a tactical switch or due to injury. Introducing KWP had worked well in previous games as a wide midfielder in front of a back four. He appeared to have little idea what to do or what was expected of him as a theroretical part of a front three. Either George Earthy or Soungoutou Magassa would have made more sense as Guilherme replacements.

Second change (52 minutes): Tomas Soucek for Wilson. This was wrong for two reasons. One, it was far too early to take off Wilson who had showed no signs of tiredness – the look on his face said it all. And two, Soucek was the wrong replacement. Deploying him as the main striker was laughable. Iraola had withdrawn one of his central defenders at the break and this change played straight into his hands. The switch should have been delayed for at least another 15 minutes with either a straight Niclas Fullkrug swap or moving Bowen into the centre and introducing Magassa or Earthy behind.

Third change (74 minutes): Fullkrug for Fernandes. A contender for the Most Stupid Substitution of The Month award. Leaving aside the fine individual exploits of Wilson and Alphonse Areola, Fernandes was the standout West Ham performer again. Had Brian Clough been in the dugout he would have hooked Soucek straight off again, having seen how far off the pace he is now in open play. But no, Nuno took off the one player capable of putting in a tackle and holding on to the ball. As it was, Fullkrug was hardly involved – either isolated or lazy depending on your point of view – and Fernandes’ absence opened gaping holes in the midfield for Bournemouth to breeze through.

It beggars belief that any professional manager or coach would come up with Nuno’s cunning five part plan to defend a lead: abandon all attacking intent, remove any outlet for retaining possession, defend as deep as humanly possible, resort to punted upfield clearances to no-one in particular, and invite wave after wave on attacks on their own goal. Madness, surely! It was a basement level of cowardness and caution that would leave even the Moyesiah reeling with embarrassment. And remember, these were tactics developed in the full knowledge that the club has a collection of the flakiest defenders in living memory.

There is often a debate as to whether the on-field approach is down to the players or the tactical instructions prescribed by the coach. All I can say is that at no time did I see Nuno imploring his team to push up or demanding that a higher defensive line be adopted. I can only assume he thought it made sense.

Every watching West Ham supporter would have been fully aware it was only a matter of time before Bournemouth started scoring. It was good fortune that they ran out of time after drawing level. There could have been little argument if they had racked up another two or three goals.

At the final whistle, the disappointment was as much about the manner as the fact of losing a two-goal lead. One second half goal attempt (in the 51st minute) and 22% possession after the break says it all. Only eight touches in the opposition box all game and no saves for their keeper to make illustrate the luckiest of snatched points, not a hard-fought draw.

The Hammers ended the weekend just outside the relegation places on goal difference. It’s going to a much tougher struggle at the bottom of the league this year. Although two of the promoted clubs currently sit below us, they are stronger sides than we saw promoted the season before. Clubs have learned that survival chances improve immensely when you have physically imposing players scatered around the team. In the modern game it is almost a pre-requisite for every player to be quick, athletic and strong. A lesson that a succession of West Ham managers have been slow to learn.

A shrewd transfer window in January is now essential for survival. And then I read of links to Adama Traore. It’s enough to tear out the few remaining hairs on my head. COYI!

West Ham v Burnley Preview: Ninety Minutes of Clarety At The Bottom Of The Table

A pivotal test for West Ham as Burnley visit the London Stadium for a basement Premier League clash. Can they build on last week’s win over Newcastle or is it back to the drawing board for Nuno?

Last weekend’s victory against Newcastle was as spirited on the pitch as it was surprising for fans. Joy and disbelief at last brought a smile to supporter’s faces; and put a spring in their step. A shaft of sunlight breaking through the London Stadium gloom as a run of four successive home defeats was put to an end.

Who knew that energy, commitment and determination from the players might energise the crowd and create a positive, noisy atmosphere in the stadium? No-one is ever going to be roaring on a string of needless sideways and backward passes. If you want supporters to be the 12th man, then give them something to shout about. Something that gets them off their seats – other than to avoid the crowds in the half-time bar or Stratford Underground.

What must be remembered amidst the euphoria of victory now that the dust has settled is that this was just one game. Just as winning at Nottingham Forest in August turned into a false dawn, it would be foolish to declare a corner turned until consistency in approach, spirit and performance levels has been demonstrated.

A safe return to the calmer waters of mid-table obscurity will not be assured without resolution to the striker debacle – as early as possible – in the January transfer window. Until then, the jaws of relegation will be an ominous threat to the Hammer’s survival.

Team selection should for today’s game should be a no-brainer. If it is not the same eleven who started last week, then something is seriously wrong. Only the insanity of a coach with psychotic delusions of tactical genius would seek to make personnel changes following the rare display of cohesion in the Newcastle game. Surely, Nuno has learned his lesson from the six valuable points recklessly sacrificed to Brentford and Leeds.

On the other hand, a touch more adventure on the bench would be a welcome change. But with Callum Marshall, George Earthy, Preston Fearon, Ezra Mayers and Mohamadou Kante all turning out in the U21’s 3-0 defeat of Liverpool last night, this may be wishful thinking. Stocking the bench with four defensive midfield players and with no place for a striker severely limits the game changing options available.

Today’s fixture sees another early season six pointer with the visit of newly promoted Burnley. The Clarets sit one place above West Ham with three more points on the board. To date, they have recorded victories at home to Sunderland and Leeds, and away at Wolves.

In football’s golden age of bobble hats, wooden rattles, terraces, slide tackles, muddy pitches, magic sponges, maximum wages and Brylcreem, Burnley were one of the country’s leading sides. A 1960’s version of Brighton built upon community, continuity, scouting and player development. They won the First Division in 1959/60, reached the European Cup quarter-finals in 1960/61 and were runners-up in both the league and FA Cup the season after.

However, the 1970s saw a steady decline. They were relegated to the third tier in 1980, to the fourth tier in 1985 and in 1987 only avoided dropping into the Conference on the final day of the season. For all West Ham’s many failings, they are one of just eight clubs never to have fallen below the top two tiers since joining the league – yet!

Today, Burnley FC, like an increasing proportion of the Premier League, has American owners – the same group also owns Espanyol in Spain – who will be aiming to consolidate the club’s position in the topflight following a yo-yo series of promotions and relegations. It will be a huge achievement if they manage to pull it off with a relatively inexperienced squad.

Although few of the Burnley team are household names, their manager (Scott Parker) and captain (Josh Cullen) need no introduction to West Ham fans.

Parker had four excellent seasons in a West Ham shirt at an individual level. He was a three-times ‘Hammer Of The Year’ and even managed to win the Football Writers’ Association Footballer of the Year award during the Avram Grant relegation season.

He has had a chequered career since turning to management, winning promotions at Fulham, Bournemouth and Burnley but never being able to sustain the momentum in the top tier. It is a paradox of football management when up-and-coming coaches defy expectations to win promotion but then carry the can for failing to bridge the financial gap that the Premier League represents. Burnley’s previous manager Vincent Kompany provides a fascinating contrast, however. Described as naïve, stubborn and inexperienced during a hopeless 24-point relegation season at Turf Moor, he now boasts a 75%-win ratio since landing on his feet at Bayern Munich.

Cullen is a former West Ham academy product who was never able to make it at his boyhood club. With less than ten league minutes to his name across three substitute appearances, Cullen was eventually transferred to Anderlecht before settling at Burnley in the summer of 2022.

For those enamoured with football stats (other than the ones that really matter) the conclusion might be that the visitors are a very poor side. The lowest xG, fewest shots, most saves, highest xG against, lowest pass completion and lowest possession. Yet they are second only to Tottenham in terms of goals scored to shots on target and have outscored West Ham 12 to nine this season. Defensively, they feature towards the top end on blocking shots, interceptions and clearances.

This will present a very different challenge for West Ham than the Newcastle game. While the Magpies were poor on the day, the game remained open as they focused on attack whenever possible – they simply didn’t do it at all well. Burnley, by contrast, will look to defend in numbers, maintain a compact shape and seek opportunities to counterattack at pace along the flanks.

Breaking down organised walls of defensive resistance has not been a core West Ham competency of late. Do we have the guile, inspiration and ruthlessness to carve openings and take the few chances that come our way? The West Ham creative juices need to be in full and effective flow for a change. This is the kind of game where the first goal will prove critical to the complexion of the match and the way it develops.

It goes without saying that a second successive home win in seven days – ahead of yet another dull international break – would be a massive bonus. Show us what you can do, boys. COYI!     

Nuno Re-Discovers His Selection Mojo As West Ham Come Together For A Rare London Stadium Victory

Now you gotta believe us, we’re gonna finish seventeenth! A fresh outbreak of optimism resonates around the London Stadium as the Hammers see off the disappointing challenge of Newcastle United.

Well, that went better than expected, didn’t it?

When I first learned yesterday’s match was scheduled for a Sunday afternoon, I had hoped it was because Newcastle would be returning from a gruelling trek to the easternmost reaches of Kazakhstan for a midweek Champions League fixture. Sadly, that was not the case. All they had needed to contend with was an EFL cup-tie with Tottenham in their latest Spursy iteration.

With West Ham having recorded just three home wins in the previous 12 months – and having lost all four at the London Stadium this season – it promised to be a tough afternoon at the London Stadium.

The good news was that Nuno Espirito Santo had kept away from any mind-bending psychoactive substances before making this week’s team selection. Delusions of left-field tactical brilliance were abandoned, and sanity was restored to the tactics board. A few personnel changes were in place but it was largely back to the basics that had promised much at Everton.

Despite having the strongest possible eleven on the pitch, the early omens were not good. No sooner had Jarrod Bowen’s fine 4th minute shot cannoned off the upright than the Hammers once again found themselves a goal down. Max Kilman stranded up-field, the defence stretched and Malick Diouf allowing Murphy too much room to rifle home. It was not the start we were hoping for.

In his excellent match preview, Richard likened West Ham’s season to a clapped-out Vauxhall Astra, coughing and spluttering its way along the motorway (as a one-time Astra owner, I was rather perturbed by his choice of model – just don’t mention his Singer Chamois!) Would this early reverse become another hard shoulder to cry on? Was yet another collapse on the cards? How the Hammers reacted might prove a pivotal test of character.

To their credit, the team reacted magnificently. Heads didn’t drop and confidence slowly grew. Who could have predicted that picking pacier players and deploying them in their correct positions would produce much-improved performances? Intensity, energy and desire replacing hesitancy, confusion and negativity. To return to the car analogy: pistons had been realigned, timing corrected, handling improved and the windscreen wipers no longer came on when indicating to turn right.

There were fine performances all over the pitch. Alphonse Areola assertive in his penalty area. The defence compact and solid with the usual gaping midfield hole in front of it removed – we might also doff our caps to Nuno for having the idea of the centre-backs swapping sides. The midfield was energetic, organised and committed. Freddie Potts rightly received the plaudits for the effective simplicity of his game, and the maturity of his first Premier League start, but Mateus Fernandes was also excellent – from crunching tackles to astute passing. And Lucas Paqueta has never played a better ninety minutes for West Ham, despite the frequent falling over being increasingly ignored by referees.

The front three demonstrated a refreshing degree of movement rarely seen at the London Stadium. Bowen and Crysencio Summerville were hungry, available and prepared to carry the ball forward, while Callum Wilson operated as a centre forward should in such a system. Occupying defenders and creating space as the focal point for attacks.

With Wilson unlikely to last the whole game, it was disappointing not to have a backup striker on the bench. The implication is that Nuno doesn’t fancy Callum Marshall. But was it really necessary for Tomas Soucek, Soungoutou Magassa, Andy Irving and Guido Rodriguez to take up four of the allocated spaces?

While the ends may have justified the means, Nuno’s substitutions had introduced an overdose of anxiety into the closing stages. The Hammers finishing the game with three full backs and three central defenders and most of the pace and potential out-balls withdrawn. Hopefully, this was a ‘needs must’ strategy rather than a sign of things to come.

We must say a few words about Big Tom as his half-hour supporting role was Soucek in a condensed nutshell. Getting a boot in the chest at one end when diving in where others fear to head. Then popping up at the other to bundle home the goal that settled our nerves. And in between? About as effective as one of those inflatable tube men you see outside car dealerships.

At face value, it is difficult to reconcile how a team can apparently transform from being a lazy bunch of mercenaries who simply don’t care one week, to becoming a committed, hard-working, cohesive unit the next. My personal view is that it comes down to belief in what you are being asked or instructed to do. Belief underpins individual performance, team dynamic and tactical execution. If you don’t have it, and the margins are paper thin in elite level sport, then your opponent will exploit it. Without belief you will not recover from setbacks like yesterday’s early goal.

So, no more square pegs and round holes and we might start to see upward momentum. And that should lead to fewer taunts about laziness and not caring. The catch though is the lack of quality in depth to cope with injuries and suspensions. We have a mid-table first eleven but a bottom six squad.   

It wouldn’t be a Premier League math without a sizeable proportion of the afternoon being taken up by extended VAR reviews. It is difficult to argue with the toenail precision that is now applied as the letter of offside calls rather than to the law’s original spirit. The penalty review, however, was far more perplexing.

The rationale for reversing the decision was based solely on the defender touching the ball before Bowen got to it. That he crashed recklessly into Bowen’s side at the same time apparently having no bearing on events. In any other European league, it is a definite penalty. Even if we choose to interpret the laws differently in England (let’s take back control) then why was the same criteria not applied to an identical incident when Potts was penalised for a tackle a matter of minutes later?

One of the money-making developments that I truly dislike in the modern game is the prevalence of change strips. It’s not a proper Barcodes team if they’re not wearing traditional black and white stripes. Taking the field decked out in Al-Shearwah Saudi Arabian green just isn’t right. According to AI, very few football teams wear green because it clashes with the grass. Sounds improbable but perhaps explains why Newcastle were so poor?    

The visitors fearsome and expensively assembled attacking threat never materialised. After the opening goal went in they posed few problems. Woltemade has earned a big reputation but on the day looked as clueless as the succession of failed strikers who have turned out for the Hammers over the years. And as Prince Vultan once asked: “Gordon’s Alive?” Even the Hammer’s long-running nemesis Harvey Barnes failed to make even the slightest impression.

I sense Eddie Howe has plateaued at Newcastle and will soon be known as Eddie Who. My two shillings has already been staked on Andoni Iraola becoming the Magpie’s boss by the start of next season.

Watching Howe complain about West Ham adopting his patented time-wasting tactics was most amusing. The cynicism has the hallmarks of a Nuno innovation who employed it routinely at Forest last season. The mysterious case of a goalkeeper with cramp in both legs is a first and was comical in the extreme. I wish Alphonse a speedy recovery.

A great win. Time now to build on the momentum. COYI!

A West Ham Winter of Discontent, Nuno Espirito’s Panto and Pussies in Boots

It’s more of the same for West Ham as they lose again at Leeds. Wacky team selections, soft goals conceded, a lack of heart, and the worst start to a season for 52 years.

The clocks have changed, the nights are drawing in, and the biting winds of winter whistle hauntingly around the vast, hollow, soulless stadium. Where the air had once been thick with excitement, noise and expectation there is now only silence, stillness and disappointment.

Discarded fast food containers dance aimlessly – chaotically – around the deserted concourse. A metaphor for the waste and negligence inflicted upon supporters for the past ten years or more. The giants of the footballing world who thrilled the crowds here with their Rabonas and Panenkas will become long forgotten memories. Replaced by the echoing shouts of Oxford United players as they fade into the night sky above the cardboard supporters sitting motionless in mothballed upper tiers.

 As a final East End ignominy. The prospect of Millwall taking the Hammers place in the Premier League.

***

There is an old joke that West Ham come down with the Christmas decorations. Should that happen again this season, we are in even more serious trouble than the meager return of 16 wins (and 66 points) from the 66 Premier League games between January 2024 and this weekend indicates.

It is, apparently, the worse start to a West Ham season since the 1973/74 season. If your memory goes back that far, the Hammers also had just four points from the opening nine games (four draws). They recorded their first win in match number 12 and were rock bottom of the table on Christmas Day. A Boxing Day win at Chelsea heralded the slightest of improvement and relegation was eventually avoided by a single point and goal difference (or was it goal average back then?) Billy Bonds was leading scorer with 13 goals, Manchester United were relegated, and West Ham went on to win the FA Cup the following year.

The farcical events that occur at West Ham can often be often painted as a pantomime. There’s Baron Hardup in the boardroom, more than our fair share of villains (Ince, Defoe, Lampard) over the years, and countless scenes of slapstick comedy defending to leave you rolling in the aisles. It is heart-warming, therefore, to learn that Nuno Espirito Panto is committed to maintaining this welcome club tradition.

“Nuno is going to use the same bonkers tactics and formation at Leeds that failed so miserably against Brentford.”

“Oh no he isn’t”

“OH YES HE DID”

“Look behind you, it’s only Wolves”

It is surely pure coincidence that three of Nuno’s clubs (past and present) are currently occupying all the three relegation places.

It is incomprehensible how someone who is paid millions to be an expert on these sorts of things could have analysed the Brentford game and concluded that what was needed was to try it again. Watch any Premier League match and all the other teams are stacked with fast, mobile, athletic players – especially in the heart of the midfield. What is our answer? Tomas Soucek and Andy Irving – with Guido Rodriguez in reserve.

For all his warrior-like commitment and occasional aerial dominance, Soucek has neither the pace, agility, control or passing ability to compete at this level. I had previously questioned why Irving hadn’t been given more opportunity. Well now he has, and unfortunately, he’s not the answer either.

As for the underlapping/ inverted full backs (call them what you will) this has proven to be as nonsensical an innovation as Lucas Paqueta as a False 9.

Based on the Everton performance, I had anticipated at least four points from the last two games. Why the need to change the setup so radically? And what a shambles to have to use most of your substitutions twice in one week simply to correct the mistakes of the original selection. Throwing away six points on the whims of smart-aleck experimentation in what should have been winnable games was the height of foolishness. Points are going to be at such a premium this season.  

One must wonder if Nuno is suffering from not having a trusted lieutenant and adviser by his side. Someone with the courage to ask the awkward question, “are you sure about this, boss?” whenever the latest tactical epiphany pops into his head. In true West Ham style, penny pinching prevented the coaching staff being included in the appointment package.

***

The attitude of the players has been rightly questioned by supporters. And from the sidelines there does appear to be an absence of fight, determination and leadership on the pitch. Heads drop far too quickly when the inevitable soft goals are conceded as they were at Leeds. What I can’t decide is whether this is down to individual character – are they ‘pussies’ who just don’t care? Or do the timid performances emanate from a lack of confidence and belief in the way they are being asked to play. We hear from the players after every defeat about “rolling up our sleeves” but will that really make an appreciable difference to performances?

The small margins involved in elite levels of sport are impossible to quantify. Any slight drop in standards, any sign of weaknessor apprehension will be ruthlessly exploited by well-prepared opponents. I watched the Sunderland win at Chelsea at the weekend, and it was an object lesson in how a team – largely assembled from the second level leagues of Europe with no player costing more than £27m – can compete with the rich clubs when they have athleticism, confidence and bravery on their side.

***

A sense of ‘resignation to our fate’ is gradually taking root in online fan discussions. Some are even ambivalent about the prospect of relegation despite the nightmare scenario that a half-empty London Stadium for the visit of Stevenage would present.   

I’ve yet to join the ‘relegation is a certainty’ camp although pinpointing three worse teams is not easy. Three from Wolves, West Ham, Nottingham Forest, Fulham, Burnley and Leeds look likley to be the probable candidates.

There is no obvious embarrassment of riches at West Ham. It is a squad assembled with no particular plan or purpose in mind. A lucky dip jigsaw where each of the pieces has been selected from a different puzzle. Centre backs chosen to play out from the back but who struggle with the basics of defending, a mishmash of full backs and wing backs, a surplus of midfield players but none capable of carrying the ball forward, wingers encouraged to pump crosses into the box without anyone in the middle to meet them. It is Nuno’s challenge to get them to fit together.

In theory it shouldn’t be impossible to find a core eleven from this highly paid bunch of internationals. One that will stick to the basics of 4-3-3 and can easily hold its own against the majority of lower table opposition. Don’t try anything daft and place the focus on the younger, fitter, pacier members of the squad. The immediate objective is to not lose touch by the opening of the January transfer window. Then be prepared to get business done quickly. At long last make a belated attempt to address the obvious striker and centre back deficiencies.

This may well be a pipe dream given previous experience with transfer windows. But surely even our board are not stupid enough to risk their asset value being cut in half by dropping into the Championship. In fact, the current precarious predicament may already have slashed the club’s market valuation. If there were hopes of a quick sale by the current owners these feel increasingly unlikely.

To what extent the club will be able to spend in January – either from a cash flow or PSR perspective – will be dependent on raising additional funds from player sales. Unfortunately, years of poor recruitment makes the list of saleable assets a very short one. It may entail unpalatable sacrifices. The 2025 accounts should be published before the window opens and the exact size of the hole the club is in will be revealed. What a mess! COYI!

Hammers Are Bee-witched, Bothered and Bee-wildered in London Stadium Buzz Kill

Nuno’s winless run continues at West Ham as the Hammers pass on the opportunity to break their London Stadium losing streak. They remain forlornly anchored in the relegation places with the leagues worst goal difference.

The question has to be asked. What in the name of the holy spirit was Nuno thinking last night? I’d expected to see the back of the not as clever as he thinks he is school of coaching once Graham Potter departed. But here we are again – baffling team selections, incomprehensible formations, snail-paced midfielders, bizarre substitutions, and random square pegs failing to fit into assorted round holes. Two weeks on the training ground and this is what they come up with.

I suppose it’s just possible that underlapping full-backs and false 9’s can be useful tactical options in the cerebral coach’s toolkit. But relegation dogfights are not the right time and place for overthought grandiose experiments. Let’s get back to basics and keeping it simple in a way that everyone understands. Stick to the plan. Anticipate, don’t improvise. Trust no one. Never yield an advantage. Fight only the battle you’re paid to fight.

If I was of a cynical disposition, I might recognise a repeating trend emerging here. A new boss has an encouraging start in a game he had little chance to prepare for, and then everything goes downhill afterwards. Recency bias always plays a part when making comparisons, but a very long memory is needed to remember a worse West Ham performance than what was served up yesterday. The only positive was that the deficit could have been far, far worse. And this against a team who had lost their manager and main strikers during the summer and were forecast to struggle under the fledgling leadership of a former set-piece coach. The difference in class and preparation was frightening.

It is, of course, still early days from Nuno. But he screwed up massively last night. It should have been the winnable game that finally put an end to a woeful run at the London Stadium. Four straight home defeats at the start of the season setting a new all-time record for the club. The anticipated breath of fresh air has yet to make any difference to the stench of decay and despair haunting the club for two years or more. Nuno must learn quickly from his mistakes to find a system (hopefully a traditional 4-3-) that adequately aligns with the strengths of those at his disposal. The alternative is remaining rooted in the relegation places and losing touch with those immediately above us. No surprise that the betting markets see West Ham as one of the firm favourites for the drop.

You don’t need to have watched too many recent West Ham games to realise that Lucas Paqueta is a waste of time and space as a False 9. That Tomas Soucek is far too slow and cumbersome to operate in the frenetic heart of midfield. Or that Max Kilman and Jean-Clair Todibo lack the strength, determination and presence to form an effective central defensive partnership – especially against big, powerful opponents. Does something happen on the training ground that convinces the coaching staff differently?

In many ways the dreadful team selection was compounded by strange half-time substitutions. Being forced to make three changes at the interval is a clear admission that you got the original selection wrong. But why not give the full backs an opportunity to switch to their preferred sides, at least for 15 minutes or so? And why replace Mateus Fernandes rather than Soucek or Andy Irving? Although bringing on Dinos Mavropanos did kind of make sense – the once weakest link has (by default rather than excellence) suddenly become the most effective choice in central defence – did it really require a change of shape to accompany it?

While past goal scoring exploits can make a case for Soucek being included in the matchday squad, no such reasoning can be applied to Guido Rodriguez. There are far better, younger and agile alternatives available. That he replaced Soucek at the time when a goal was desperately needed was close to perverse.

The greatest puzzle, however, surrounds Nuno’s refusal to use Callum Wilson. In my mind, Wilson should have been the obvious choice to start the game as the club’s only senior striker. Failing that he should have been first in the frame as a half-time replacement; not left to stew on the bench. Is there something personal going on here? Or is it a cost saving measure related to his pay as you play contract? He may be only one fall, stretch or tackle away from a long term injury layoff but he is easily the best striking option at the club.

It is telling that having previously lost Toney, Mbeumo and Wissa, Brentford are still able to field a functioning striker in the shape of Igor Thiago. Why then have West Ham struggled to fill that position since forever? I heard at the weekend that after Nottingham Forest striker, Taiwo Awoniyi, was badly injured last season, he was placed in an induced coma for treatment. I wondered if the same had been happening in the Rush Green treatment room, only they forget to wake them up again afterwards.     

We now move on to another relegation six pointer at Elland Road on Friday night. A massive change of approach and attitude will be needed to come away with a point or more at one of the league’s most intimidating venues. Over to you, Nuno. COYI!

Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss: And Why Nuno Faces A Herculean Task at the London Stadium

A West Ham manager’s lot is not a happy one. Can Nuno find an answer to the long running conundrum of producing a sustainable, professional team at a broken and dysfunctional club?

Supporting West Ham has never been a pursuit for the glory hunter or the faint of heart. For most it is an act of faith founded on community, shared identity, loyalty, passion, a sense of belonging, and wherever possible, entertainment. It is not, sadly, a vision shared by the owners.

There can be no argument that English topflight football has changed over the years – some good, some bad – with its global appeal. TV deals, influx of money, overseas players and financial regulations. Where well-run clubs have innovated and adapted to these new realities, the leadership at West Ham has refused to shift, preferring to the celebrate their amateurism and defy progress. Compounding the unpopular handling of the stadium move with an approach to football that rarely looks beyond the next fixture. The added irony being that the cost cutting London Stadium agreement – feted by pundits as the ‘deal of the century’ at the time – now sits like a millstone around the club’s neck to limit the much needed matchday and commercial revenues that are growing rapidly at rival clubs.

There is a concept known (appropriately) as Maslow’s Hammer which states that “if the only tool you have is a hammer, then every problem will look like a nail.” In a West Ham context, this translates to a belief that all performance issues can be addressed by the mirage of a new managerial appointment. Nothing else in the slipshop way the club is run ever needs to change!

The result for supporters is a cycle of chronic anxiety. A Groundhog Day where each new manager enjoys a honeymoon period of variable length, inevitably followed by a steady decline of fluctuating velocity. A decline characterised by a campaign of undermining, leaks and sabotage from the Boardroom. The best-case scenario (for the club) is a manager who makes it through to the end of their contract before being terminated (Allardyce, Moyes). But more usually, they will be fired whenever the spectre of relegation (and financial Armageddon) appears on the horizon.

If you toss a box of assorted West Ham Premier League statistics into the air, what you get when they land is a picture of prolonged mediocrity. Averaged across 29 seasons, the return from 38 matches is 12½ wins, 9½ draws, and 16 defeats: a total of 47 points, negative 8 goal difference, with an expected 11th or 12th place finish. An optimist might interpret this as prudence and stability but really, what is the point of a survival only strategy when it is at the expense of entertainment, ambition and a raucous matchday experience.

In truth, the stats show little difference between the pre and post GSB eras. The only significant distinction being that the current owners have spent a lot more money and made a much bigger song and dance of how incompetent they are.

It would be unfair not to recognise that above average seasons do ocasionally arise: 2015/16 and 2020/21 are notable examples. But where these have occurred, they are the result of temporary good fortune rather than years of good stewardship, squad building and team planning. In 2015/16, Slaven Bilic was able to overlay the mercurial talents of Dimitri Payet onto the organisation inherited from BFS. In 2020/21, David Moyes had the emergence of Declan Rice and the inspiration of Jesse Lingard to turn trademark defensive caution into surprising attacking threat. Both false dawns which failed to survive the loss of key players.

So, what does all this mean for Nuno Espirito Santo as the latest occupant of the West Ham hot seat? Can he break the spell of mediocrity? Implement a style of play that supporters desire and are happy to pay to watch – entertaining, fast paced, front foot, quick transition football? I’d like to think he can but ask me again at the end of November for confirmation. He has been saying many of the right things, has been prepared to take a serious look at the younger players, and is much easier to listen to than his immediate predecessors.

But sorting out West Ham from where they are now is a Herculean task. In fact, Hercules himself would have to think twice before choosing whether to accept the mission or not. How to stabilise a careless defence, inject creativity into midfield, solve the age-old striker conundrum alongside other heroic labours such as pacifying the two-faced bull of Theydon, appeasing the multi-headed serpent of Knightsbridge – and complying with PSR regulations?

Following the hard-fought and well-deserved draw at Everton, a trip to the Emirates to face Arsenal was always going to be a tough ask. Several online commentators saw it as the typical West Ham capitulation against one of the rich six clubs. That Nuno’s approach had been as negative as those who had gone before. This was rather harsh in the context of facing (probably) the best team in the league at the moment, with only a week in post to prepare. But it is difficult to counter claims that West Ham had surrendered the game without putting up much in the way of a fight. Yet for once caution made sense. A gung-ho approach and a five or six goal hammering would have been in no-one’s interest at this stage of proceedings.

Defensively, West Ham managed to maintain good shape and discipline for much of the first half. But it requires an extreme level of luck to keep your goal intact for extended periods without an out-ball to relieve the pressure. Curiously, Max Kilman and Dinos Mavropanos may have put in their most assured performances of the season in helping to counter the host’s legendary set piece threat.

But going forward, West Ham were impotent. The full backs were unable to get out of their own half or support attacks in the way they had at Everton. But it was in midfield where the Hammers were most ineffective in transition. No-one capable of finding space, assuming control and picking the right pass.

It is a stretch on current performances to look at the pairing of Lucas Paqueta and Mateus Fernandes and be satisfied that you are seeing £100 m of creative talent. Paqueta is either too busy looking to buy a foul or making blind, hopeful passes while Fernandes has shown none of the ball carrying skills or creative passing that were advertised on his CV. Maybe it needs time for them to click but both appear to prefer playing in deeper positions than the team requires. It was only Crysencio Summerville who looked capable of the movement and quick control to create his own space and drive forward. Would he be better deployed as a Number 10 than on the wing?      

It is becoming increasingly difficult to pinpoint how Niclas Fullkrug can be integrated into a Premier League side hoping to rely on rapid counter attacking. His inclination is to drop deep during build up play rather than looking to put himself about in the box. More in the style of a Haller or Scamacca than the Michail Antonio/ Chris Wood blunt instrument that is better suited to this style of play.

It was interesting to see Nuno opt for Callum Marshall when Fullkrug was replaced. It would have been a thankless task for anyone, but he showed plenty of energy and it was great that he got his first Premier League minutes under the belt. Marshall doesn’t look lone central striker material to me, so his opportunities may remain limited for now. That he was given the opportunity at all was a positive we can take from Nuno’s involvement.

The six matches following the international break will carry great significance for West Ham’s season. Collecting at least nine or ten points must be a realistic target to aim for if respectability is to be achieved and a relegation battle avoided.

With Premier League clubs looking likely to extend the current PSR regulations into the 2026/27 season – mainly because they can’t agree any alternative – next summer is already looking problematic for West Ham. Nuno will clearly want. need reinforcements but flat or falling revenues will likely require profit from player sales to offset operating losses. Unfortunately, there are few high-ticket assets available for sale. COYI!   

There’s Nuno No No No Limits As West Ham Prepare For A Free Swing At Arsenal

A change of manager and change of atmosphere defined West Ham’s Monday night visit to Everton. Now the simple task of completing a hattrick of wins at the Emirates Stadium

Despite weeks of speculation the timing of last Saturday’s announcement that West Ham Manager Version 21 had already been installed came as a surprise to many of us. Just a few days after the club’s statement telling us how spectacularly well everything was going, it was decreed that Version 20 had just too many bugs in to fix. According to the release notes, the latest upgrade will provide greater stability and faster performance than the earlier two versions. The much-derided sideways possession mode has been fully deprecated and replaced by a pragmatic Ctrl-Alt-Defend shortcut.

Whether the new release turns out to be a real long-term upgrade in the eyes of supporters, and how long it can reliably perform on the club’s obsolete 20th century infrastructure is in the lap of the gods – or the holy spirit (espirito santo) in this instance.

The reason for caution is that we have all been here before. When Graham Potter was appointed ten long months ago there was a momentary optimism. Relief that we would no longer have to put up with the chaos that was Julien Lopetegui. We could understand what the coach was talking about, and a couple of encouraging performances suggested there was better to come. But then his ‘methods’ slowly started to take effect – and death by a thousand sideways passes took hold. The obstinance of playing a style of football that was unsuited to the players available – and which nobody in their right mind would willingly pay to watch – would be his ultimate downfall. With a growing portfolio of abysmal performances to defend, his persona at press conferences changed from deep thinking coach to prickly, beard stroking, waffler.

Potter’s failure will likely see him join the long list of ex West Ham managers whose time at the club was their last hurrah in topflight football. How can a pedestrian approach of possession for the sake of it football live alongside the frantic pace and intensity of the modern game? Maybe a new position as life coach at a wellness retreat is a better fit for his skillset.

Regardless of Potter’s shortcomings, his dismissal was handled with trademark insensitivity by the West Ham hierarchy. Allowed to continue with training and rolled out for the pre-match press briefing while Gladys in the club shop was furiously embroidering NES onto a fresh set of training tops. You can’t buy class like that!

The early signs from Nuno Espirto Santo were promising from Monday night’s game at Everton. He is confident and charismatic when interviewed, there was an immediate improvement in attacking intent, and he seems prepared to put trust in younger players. How refreshing that the average age of his team was a respectable 26.7 years – a good 3 years below that seen over recent seasons.

I think we all know what we can expect from Nuno. It will be a welcome return to the basics – buttons and knobs football rather than a temperamental touchscreen alternative. Out of possession it will be a mid to low block while in possession it will be vertical passing and quick transitions. Possession will not be a priority and hopefully no suicidal playing out from the back. Above all Nuno is a pragmatic manager. While the term ‘pragmatic’ is often used in a negative sense, if it means making the best use of what’s available then I’m all for it.

We know from experience with David Moyes that not all low block sides are created equal. When Declan Rice and Jesse Lingard were driving and carrying the ball forward at pace it was exciting to watch; when that changed to a reliance on long balls for Michail Antonio to chase it was dire.

Nuno worked wonders at Forest last season but the gameplan will need finessing to be effective with the current West Ham squad. The Hammers do not have fearless, physical centre backs like Forest, Niclas Fullkrug has shown few signs he can be as prolific as Chris Wood, and there is no-one to emulate the Number 10 role played by Morgan Gibbs-White. But there is, at last, a good sprinkling of pace throughout the squad. It was no surprise how slick and progressive the passing can be with fast, mobile players on the pitch.  

While the new coach provides fresh hope for the season it does not fix the underlying problem at West Ham – the archaic and amateurish way it is run under the clueless leadership of Sullivan and Brady.

Having to pay off two woeful managerial appointments (and their entourages) in the space of one year is yet another blow to the club’s financial standing. You don’t need to be Mystic Meg to predict tensions over the next two transfer windows where Nuno wants to improve the squad while Sullivan pleads poverty and PSR restrictions. It is common knowledge that Nuno left both Wolves and Forest having fallen out with their respective Chairmen.

It has been interesting to see an increasing number of media articles criticising the way that West Ham is run. A malaise that most fans had identified many years ago. I have seen suggestions that the club is rotten from top to bottom – but I would disagree with that. The problems start and stop at the very top. The pressure for change must continue. One of the most loyal fan bases in the league deserve much better than an owner who is completely indifferent to the product being served up.  

In the circumstances, Saturday’s trip to the Emirates Stadium has to be regarded as a free hit for the Hammers. Recent games against Arsenal have recorded topsy turvy outcomes. West Ham having won the last two in north London without conceding, and the Gunners winning twice by an aggregate score of 11-2 at the London Stadium. What chances of a West Ham hattrick?

Arsenal are again among the early pace setters at the business end of the league and victory on Saturday afternoon will see them hit top spot, if only for a few hours. They will certainly be in with a shout at the title come May, although the absence of a prolific, top class goal scorer may well be their undoing once again. Supporters of both teams will be watching the award of corner kicks with interest – but for very different reasons. Arsenal for their mastery of convering them into goals, West Ham for their naivety in defending them.

The evolution of set piece headed goals paints a fascinating picture. Once looked down upon by purists as the last resort of route one dinosaurs such as Stoke and Bolton, they have since been gentrified and made fashionable by the development of Mikel Arteta’s most productive tactic. To the onlooker, knowing what is and isn’t allowed in the resulting melee of holding, pushing, shoving and blocking is as impossible to know as the decisions made in rugby.

It would make sense for Nuno to start with the same eleven who began at Everton. Maybe Freddie Potts replaces Soungoutou Magassa at kick-off, but both deserve and need to get minutes in at this level. I hope there is no temptation to recall Tomas Soucek, other than to a place on the bench. Or to revert to the three centre backs that he preferred at Wolves.

There are no high expectations from the game apart from wanting to see a spirited and committed performance where Arsenal know they have been in a difficult contest. If that can bring a point or more then all the better. Arsenal can be exposed by pace if they commit to many players forward. So, moving the ball quickly in transition to Jarrod Bowen and Crysencio Summerville out wide will be vital in creating goal threats. The role of Malick Diouf will again be pivotal having to balance taking care of Bukayo Saka with his dangerous forays and crosses up field.

Let’s maintain the positive vibe for as long as it lasts and hope for nicking at least a priceless point. COYI!

West Ham Monday Briefing: Corner Capers, Graham’s Crackers and Board Duplicity

How much longer can West Ham’s worst ever manager hang on at the London Stadium as he masterminds a twelfth defeat in 23 games. And what to do about the Board?

Welcome to West Ham where the misery never ends. Forget about the football. Enjoy the thrills of boardroom chaos, supporter protests, creeping apathy, clueless management and a spineless squad touted as relegation certainties.

Everybody knows it is only a matter of time before Graham Potter is shown the exit door at the London Stadium. Who’s ever heard of a manager ‘turning things around’ where performances have been awful for 20 plus games over eight months, and with no obvious signs of improvement on the horizon. What tactical masterstrokes could he possibly have up his sleeve to combat threats from a physical Everton side and set-piece specialists Arsenal in the two games remaining before the next international break?

West Ham have now beenbeaten in 12 of the 23 league games under Potter’s leadership (14 from 25 when cup games are included). At 52%, his lose percentage is higher than any other of the club’s Premier League managers, including the much derided Avram Grant. Why prolong the agony any longer than necessary?

Needless to say, replacing the coach is one small part of the multiple problems facing West Ham. Akin to putting anti-itch cream on a rash. It might provide welcome temporary relief, but the underlying chronic disorder lingers below the surface. The turmoil the club finds itself in hasn’t materialised overnight. It is a cumulative decline ten or more years in the making. As the business of football has evolved elsewhere to embrace strategic thinking and professionalism, West Ham have been petrified in an amateurish world of short-term thinking and season to season existence.

The club statement issued to supporters in the hope of heading off the planned Hammers United protests is a prime example of how tone deaf those in control are. Most likely penned by Karen Brady (sorry, Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge) – with a little help from ChatGBS – it was nothing more than a vain attempt to convince what a fantastic job they had all done over the years. No acknowledgement of the many mistakes made, the promises broken or an acceptance that change is needed to restore the identity, pride and passion to this great club.

I wonder what advice would be given to any business hopefuls on The Apprentice who had refused to listen to their customers, made promises they never intended to keep, and failed to hit any targets on product or experience. Just where do I find this world-class team and world-class stadium?

The obvious frustration is that in circumstances where the board are also the principal owners it is almost impossible to sack them. A change of ownership would be a complex and long winded process. The only interim hope for change is if the minority shareholders are sufficiently alarmed to band together, sideline David Sullivan and replace Brady with someone who understands the business of football. Over to you, Mr Czech Sphinx.

As far as Saturday’s game was concerned, it was more of the same from the fragile Hammers. Far too slow in possession and increasingly vulnerable at set pieces. Every opposing manager will have a clear idea now how to overcome Potter’s West Ham. Commit players forward, press high (safe in the knowledge they are too slow on the counter), and aim to win as many corners as possible.

It was amusing to hear one pundit’s view (Tony Gale, I think) that Potter would have had a word with his players at half-time about moving the ball forward more quickly. How ironic given that fannying around in the middle third safety zone is the very essence of Potterball. It’s what he dreams of, and why he is so besotted with the sideways passing skills of James Ward-Prowse. Potter was momentarily Wenger-like in his post-match comments by claiming not to have heard 50,000 boos when withdrawing Crysencio Summerville and Mateus Fernandes and leaving his favourite firmly in place. Now that JWP’s dead ball mojo has completely deserted him, he has nothing left to offer other than being a nice guy. A montage of his free-kick goals will soon be available to view on All Our Yesterdays!

It was a surprise to no-one when the opening Palace goal resulted from one of many corner kicks. As I understand it, West Ham do not employ a dedicated set piece coach. The role was added to the responsibilities of one of the existing coaching staff in much the same way as you give the new kid in the office a high-vis jacket and hard hat and call him the fire marshal. Not that it needed a coaching badge to tell Max Kilman that his job is to win the ball at all costs, even if it means occasionally getting hurt in the process.

Whoever signed off on a £40 million fee and seven-year contract for Kilman needs their head examining. In a crowded field for worst ever value for money West Ham signing he is in with a real shout of a podium finish. I’m all for ball-playing centre-backs but not when it comes at the expense of speed, strength, determination and defensive nous.

There was a brief period in the game immediately after Jarrod Bowen’s equaliser (where would we be without him) where the Hammers asumed the ascendency. The visitors suddenly looked rattled as West Ham belatedly discovered a sense of purpose and that they were allowed to attack with pace. Kyle Walker-Peters and Malick Diouf were looking dangerous along the flanks and Lucas Paqueta had a goal-bound header cleared off the line. But once Palace regained the lead, home heads dropped, and it was game over.  

Once again, there was no evidence to support the assertion that Potter has a strong track record of developing young players. Several academy stars (Freddie Potts and Calum Marshall) who had featured heavily in pre-season were omitted completely from the matchday squad and will be questioning whether a pathway to first team action actually exists. Soungoutou Magassa and Luis Guilherme were given brief late runouts but at that stage of the game it was a thankless task. The earlier shape and discipline having transformed into a park football free-for-all by then.

There is something seriously wrong in any organisation where managers are repeatedly appointed at a time of crisis. Potter’s demise is now purely one of timing. If interested in the job, I expect Nuno Espirito Santo to be next up. Not that he is the ideal man for the task but because he is available and has shown at Wolves and Forest that he can work with what he’s got to produce a functioning team. It certainly wouldn’t be a long-term relationship as he will almost certainly fall out with Sullivan within 18 months or so. Unfortunately, the other desperate names in the frame (O’Neil, Bilic, Dyche, Benitez) all fill me with a sense of foreboding. As ever, the wild card is that Sullivan will screw up yet again by doing something truly stupid.

So there we have it. Stick with Potter and relegation is highly probable. Nuno would provide a fighting chance of mid-table obscurity even if it might not be an exciting ride. It’s about the best we can hope for until change is made at the top. If Nuno doesn’t fancy it before the international break, then find a willing caretaker to navigate the next couple of games. COYI!

West Ham Monday Briefing: Boardroom Blitz, Mads Hands, and the London Stadium Vincibles

Dysfunctional football club seeks coach to work alongside controlling and untrustworthy Chairman. Only unemployed applicants need apply.

Apart from when the actual games are being played, there is never a dull moment at the London Stadium these days. Fan protests, emergency board meetings (where even the elusive Czech sphinx put in an appearance), alleged resignations, share sales and manager speculation have all resurfaced in the wake of the Hammer’s abysmal start to the 2025/26 Premier League season.

On the sidelines, smug commentators have also returned to reprise their refrains of ‘Careful what you wish for.’; ‘The supporters are delusional.’ ‘There never was a West Ham way.’ As if expecting your team to entertain, to play on the front foot, to play with passion, to show determination, to hurt for the badge, to cause occasional upsets, to start each game with belief should be considered delusional.

Dashed expectations have been the norm at the club for most of my supporting life. The highs (and trophies) have been few and far between. Sure, success was great on the rare occasions that it turned up, but following West Ham has always been about pride, belonging, commitment and community – not adding entries to the roll of honours. Ignore those connections and the club loses the last remnants of its soul. A business run by accountants – no longer a sport – where supporters are customers and spreadsheets calculate average revenue per ticket sale.

The game has changed tremendously since the founding of the Premier League. Finances play an increasingly pivotal role on the decisions clubs must make in building squads and planning for the future. Not a problem for the rich clubs whose revenues and sponsorship deals leave room to spare, but a major headache for all the others needing to balance the book. But where we have seen clubs like Brighton, Bournemouth and Brentford successfully adapt to the economic realities through forward looking recruitment practices, the West Ham approach has been to carry on regardless. Paying inflated fees and wages for the supposed razzle dazzle signing of established players while penny pinching on the infrastructure required for scouting, data analytics, training facilities and youth development. Apart from the unexpected gift of Declan Rice from Chelsea, the academy’s output has been shocking over the last decade or so.

There is no short-term answer to this malaise under the current leadership of David Sullivan and Karen Brady. There is little chance that Sullivan will voluntarily step down and any hoped for embarrassment directed towards him from fan groups will merely bounce of his thick skin. These people have no shame. Unless the remaining shareholders group together to vote him out, he will leave only in his own time.

In the meantime, the only plausible change posible at the club is replacing the manager/ coach – the fourth in just over a year – as the short rein of the hapless Graham Potter splutters towards an inevitable conclusion.   It will be farewell to the tetchy press conferences with banal answers to inaudible questions, the head scratching team selections, the misplaced loyalty to underperforming players, the baffling substitutions, and the bewildered touchline demeanour witnessed on Saturday. He will be a disappointing footnote in West Ham’s history alongside Avram Grant.

As a typical West Ham fan, I have experienced West Ham defeats many more times than victories. After all, they have now regained leadership of the most ever Premier League defeats (462 to Everton’s 461) with a goal difference of -243. Ordinarily, I take a philosophical view to such events and they are consigned to history well before the first pint is finished or the second reading of the football results on Sports Report has aired. On Saturday, though, there was a lingering anger which simmered the entire weekend. How could such a tame surrender to an arch-rival ever be allowed to happen?

The trouble with Potter is that he thinks he is far smarter than everyone else in the room. And far smarter than he really is. He would no doubt have pasted media coverage of his brave decision to change formation and his inspired game-changing substitutions at Forest in his matchday journal. Never mind that it had been blindingly obvious to every fan that three at the back was an unmitigated disaster or that Crysencio Summerville had only been brought on to give him some minutes following a lengthy lay-off.

Nevertheless, he would see it as confirmation of his genius which would be followed up – in a home game against Spurs – by playing with no striker, putting two keepers on the bench, and expecting the slow but nice guys (Tomas Soucek and James Ward-Prowse) to dominate the midfield battleground.

Saturday’s game was relatively even in the opening exchanges. Lucas Paqueta should have done better to round off a smart West Ham move while Summerville and Malick Diouf were combining well on the left-hand side. Diouf putting several teasing crosses into the areas where lesser coaches teams might have played a striker.

As the first half progressed though, the visitors started to boss the game. Although unable to create much from open play it became apparent that set pieces were causing alarm in the Hammer’s defence. Thomas Frank had used similar tactics at Brentford on numerous occasions to unsettle previous West Ham sides.

Where Tottenham had clearly rehearsed these routines, the hosts reaction was one of panic. Mads Hermansen is too short and slight to be a dominant presence in the box and chose to stay rooted on his line. Did he know he can use his hands? The remaining defenders adopted a loose zonal marking system incapable of tracking the runs of the visitor’s. Tottenham would have taken the lead on 20 minutes had it not been for the intervention of the officials, but it felt only a matter of time before they managed to force one home.

Having survived to half-time, it was the ideal to make changes to shape and tactics. But none were forthcoming. Within 10 minutes, the game was lost. The threatened goal from a corner materialised minutes after the break, Soucek was sent off for a needless lunge, and that was it. West Ham heads dropped, Tottenham were allowed to score two more straightforward goals and the crowd went home. Thankfully, the visitors eased off after the third goal went in. The one bright spot was the introduction of Soungoutou Magassa which surely marks the end of the Soucek/ JWP axis.

The Premier League is just four games old. Three clubs (Liverpool, Chelsea and Crystal Palace) remain in contention as Invincibles and two (Aston Villa and Wolves) are potential Vincibles. Although West Ham may have escaped that ignominy by winning at Forest, the chances if a win at the London Stadium look some way off.

Potter has managed just two home wins from 11 attempts. A fortunate victory over Fulham in his first game at home and a routine win over a doomed Leicester side. In those 11 games, we have celebrated just 11 goals and endured six defeats. Time for change! Now would be perfect but a ‘three games to save your job‘ ultimatum is my predicted outcome.

Getting rid of Potter is, of course, only part of the problem. Who comes next, who is available and who is prepared to work at such a dysfunctional club are the next issues. Several hats have been thrown into the ring online with Nuno and Mourinho, as two recently unemployed managers, mentioned most often. Imagining Sullivan and Jose working together is mind-boggling and so can probably be ruled out.

The unfortunate trend, however – as with Prime Ministers – is to find someone who is even worse than what came before. Meet the new boss, worse than the old boss. In that spirit, please step forward Mr Dyche. COYI!