If we’d been offered a point on the day,
At the Vitality we’d nod and we’d say
“Gladly yes”, but we didn’t forsee
How close we came to getting three.
Frustrating it was, we led so late,
But a sloppy free kick then sealed our fate,
The wall stood tall, we knew the drill,
A draw was deserved, for home fans a thrill.
Bournemouth’s shots twenty-nine in all,
Only nine on target that I can recall,
The first half was goalless, frantic and fast,
We matched them at first but how might it last?
A controversial call, we cared not a jot,
As up stepped Paqueta and scored from the spot.
A few moments later the Hammers undone,
Enes Umal’s free kick and the score was one-one.
Lopetegui’s tactics – he asks for more time,
We saw some improvement, but we need to climb,
We’re stuck down at fourteenth, a pretty poor show,
We’ve let in too many, our midfield’s too slow.
On Saturday it’s Brighton; so is it a sin
To hope for three points and pick up a win?
But one win from fourteen, just one that’s right,
At the Amex last season a 3-1 delight.
Seven games at home, top-flight pickings are thin,
We’ve lost two and drawn five but never a win.
But go back twelve years when second tier still,
A great Vaz Te hat trick, we beat them six-nil!
The Seagulls in London, ten winless they find,
The losses and draws must be haunting their mind,
Our recent home form has been on the rise,
Ten points from five is a pleasant surprise.
When Brighton face battles against top half foes,
With five wins in nine their confidence grows,
But with teams near the bottom they falter and strain,
Just one win in seven in a season’s refrain.
When taking set pieces we used to be best,
We still have the tools to make it a test,
Kudus with dribbling can dazzle and gleam,
Bowen’s goals and assists are great for the team.
A Premier clash under a Saturday sky,
Can we win, and go to Christmas on high?
I just have a feeling we’ll win this for sure,
Brighton may score but we’ll score one more.
I wonder if you know the old joke from Donald McGill, famous for his saucy seaside postcards –
“Do you like Kipling?”
“I don’t know I’ve never kippled”.
Rudyard Kipling was an English writer of the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, noted of course for writing amongst many great works The Jungle Book and his poem If. The following is in the style of the latter. So with apologies to Mr Kipling (no, not the one who makes exceedingly good cakes …..) here is a poem to resemble his famous poem If as a tribute to Jarrod Bowen.
If you can keep the ball when all about you
Are losing it, can’t blame it on you;
If you believe in yourself when England managers doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can pass and dribble and not be phased by tackles,
Or keep the ball and ignore the cries;
Or shoot on sight and resist the shackles,
And look so good to everyone’s eyes;
If you can dribble – and not make dribbling your master;
If you can bring others into the game;
If when you lose it’s not a disaster,
But winning the game is your ultimate aim;
If you entertain the fans and play so clever,
Up front, out wide, whatever your role,
Play consistently, be as good as ever,
Win a European trophy with the winning goal.
If you thread it through to make a chance,
Or cross it onto someone’s head,
Or pass to a team mate without a glance,
Or take it on and shoot instead.
If you stay for some time the fans will adore you,
And play like legends of the past have done,
Moore, Bonds, Brooking, Di Canio too,
And what’s more Jarrod Bowen, you’ll be a star my son.
Seasons greetings! Richard.
Under The Hammers 