Report – Page 2 – Under The Hammers

A West Ham Winter of Discontent, Nuno Espirito’s Panto and Pussies in Boots

It’s more of the same for West Ham as they lose again at Leeds. Wacky team selections, soft goals conceded, a lack of heart, and the worst start to a season for 52 years.

The clocks have changed, the nights are drawing in, and the biting winds of winter whistle hauntingly around the vast, hollow, soulless stadium. Where the air had once been thick with excitement, noise and expectation there is now only silence, stillness and disappointment.

Discarded fast food containers dance aimlessly – chaotically – around the deserted concourse. A metaphor for the waste and negligence inflicted upon supporters for the past ten years or more. The giants of the footballing world who thrilled the crowds here with their Rabonas and Panenkas will become long forgotten memories. Replaced by the echoing shouts of Oxford United players as they fade into the night sky above the cardboard supporters sitting motionless in mothballed upper tiers.

As a final East End ignominy. The prospect of Millwall taking the Hammers place in the Premier League.

***

There is an old joke that West Ham come down with the Christmas decorations. Should that happen again this season, we are in even more serious trouble than the meager return of 16 wins (and 66 points) from the 66 Premier League games between January 2024 and this weekend indicates.

It is, apparently, the worse start to a West Ham season since the 1973/74 season. If your memory goes back that far, the Hammers also had just four points from the opening nine games (four draws). They recorded their first win in match number 12 and were rock bottom of the table on Christmas Day. A Boxing Day win at Chelsea heralded the slightest of improvement and relegation was eventually avoided by a single point and goal difference (or was it goal average back then?) Billy Bonds was leading scorer with 13 goals, Manchester United were relegated, and West Ham went on to win the FA Cup the following year.

The farcical events that occur at West Ham can often be often painted as a pantomime. There’s Baron Hardup in the boardroom, more than our fair share of villains (Ince, Defoe, Lampard) over the years, and countless scenes of slapstick comedy defending to leave you rolling in the aisles. It is heart-warming, therefore, to learn that Nuno Espirito Panto is committed to maintaining this welcome club tradition.

“Nuno is going to use the same bonkers tactics and formation at Leeds that failed so miserably against Brentford.”

“Oh no he isn’t”

“OH YES HE DID”

“Look behind you, it’s only Wolves”

It is surely pure coincidence that three of Nuno’s clubs (past and present) are currently occupying all the three relegation places.

It is incomprehensible how someone who is paid millions to be an expert on these sorts of things could have analysed the Brentford game and concluded that what was needed was to try it again. Watch any Premier League match and all the other teams are stacked with fast, mobile, athletic players – especially in the heart of the midfield. What is our answer? Tomas Soucek and Andy Irving – with Guido Rodriguez in reserve.

For all his warrior-like commitment and occasional aerial dominance, Soucek has neither the pace, agility, control or passing ability to compete at this level. I had previously questioned why Irving hadn’t been given more opportunity. Well now he has, and unfortunately, he’s not the answer either.

As for the underlapping/ inverted full backs (call them what you will) this has proven to be as nonsensical an innovation as Lucas Paqueta as a False 9.

Based on the Everton performance, I had anticipated at least four points from the last two games. Why the need to change the setup so radically? And what a shambles to have to use most of your substitutions twice in one week simply to correct the mistakes of the original selection. Throwing away six points on the whims of smart-aleck experimentation in what should have been winnable games was the height of foolishness. Points are going to be at such a premium this season.

One must wonder if Nuno is suffering from not having a trusted lieutenant and adviser by his side. Someone with the courage to ask the awkward question, “are you sure about this, boss?” whenever the latest tactical epiphany pops into his head. In true West Ham style, penny pinching prevented the coaching staff being included in the appointment package.

***

The attitude of the players has been rightly questioned by supporters. And from the sidelines there does appear to be an absence of fight, determination and leadership on the pitch. Heads drop far too quickly when the inevitable soft goals are conceded as they were at Leeds. What I can’t decide is whether this is down to individual character – are they ‘pussies’ who just don’t care? Or do the timid performances emanate from a lack of confidence and belief in the way they are being asked to play. We hear from the players after every defeat about “rolling up our sleeves” but will that really make an appreciable difference to performances?

The small margins involved in elite levels of sport are impossible to quantify. Any slight drop in standards, any sign of weaknessor apprehension will be ruthlessly exploited by well-prepared opponents. I watched the Sunderland win at Chelsea at the weekend, and it was an object lesson in how a team – largely assembled from the second level leagues of Europe with no player costing more than £27m – can compete with the rich clubs when they have athleticism, confidence and bravery on their side.

***

A sense of ‘resignation to our fate’ is gradually taking root in online fan discussions. Some are even ambivalent about the prospect of relegation despite the nightmare scenario that a half-empty London Stadium for the visit of Stevenage would present.

I’ve yet to join the ‘relegation is a certainty’ camp although pinpointing three worse teams is not easy. Three from Wolves, West Ham, Nottingham Forest, Fulham, Burnley and Leeds look likley to be the probable candidates.

There is no obvious embarrassment of riches at West Ham. It is a squad assembled with no particular plan or purpose in mind. A lucky dip jigsaw where each of the pieces has been selected from a different puzzle. Centre backs chosen to play out from the back but who struggle with the basics of defending, a mishmash of full backs and wing backs, a surplus of midfield players but none capable of carrying the ball forward, wingers encouraged to pump crosses into the box without anyone in the middle to meet them. It is Nuno’s challenge to get them to fit together.

In theory it shouldn’t be impossible to find a core eleven from this highly paid bunch of internationals. One that will stick to the basics of 4-3-3 and can easily hold its own against the majority of lower table opposition. Don’t try anything daft and place the focus on the younger, fitter, pacier members of the squad. The immediate objective is to not lose touch by the opening of the January transfer window. Then be prepared to get business done quickly. At long last make a belated attempt to address the obvious striker and centre back deficiencies.

This may well be a pipe dream given previous experience with transfer windows. But surely even our board are not stupid enough to risk their asset value being cut in half by dropping into the Championship. In fact, the current precarious predicament may already have slashed the club’s market valuation. If there were hopes of a quick sale by the current owners these feel increasingly unlikely.

To what extent the club will be able to spend in January – either from a cash flow or PSR perspective – will be dependent on raising additional funds from player sales. Unfortunately, years of poor recruitment makes the list of saleable assets a very short one. It may entail unpalatable sacrifices. The 2025 accounts should be published before the window opens and the exact size of the hole the club is in will be revealed. What a mess! COYI!

Hammers Are Bee-witched, Bothered and Bee-wildered in London Stadium Buzz Kill

Nuno’s winless run continues at West Ham as the Hammers pass on the opportunity to break their London Stadium losing streak. They remain forlornly anchored in the relegation places with the leagues worst goal difference.

The question has to be asked. What in the name of the holy spirit was Nuno thinking last night? I’d expected to see the back of the not as clever as he thinks he is school of coaching once Graham Potter departed. But here we are again – baffling team selections, incomprehensible formations, snail-paced midfielders, bizarre substitutions, and random square pegs failing to fit into assorted round holes. Two weeks on the training ground and this is what they come up with.

I suppose it’s just possible that underlapping full-backs and false 9’s can be useful tactical options in the cerebral coach’s toolkit. But relegation dogfights are not the right time and place for overthought grandiose experiments. Let’s get back to basics and keeping it simple in a way that everyone understands. Stick to the plan. Anticipate, don’t improvise. Trust no one. Never yield an advantage. Fight only the battle you’re paid to fight.

If I was of a cynical disposition, I might recognise a repeating trend emerging here. A new boss has an encouraging start in a game he had little chance to prepare for, and then everything goes downhill afterwards. Recency bias always plays a part when making comparisons, but a very long memory is needed to remember a worse West Ham performance than what was served up yesterday. The only positive was that the deficit could have been far, far worse. And this against a team who had lost their manager and main strikers during the summer and were forecast to struggle under the fledgling leadership of a former set-piece coach. The difference in class and preparation was frightening.

It is, of course, still early days from Nuno. But he screwed up massively last night. It should have been the winnable game that finally put an end to a woeful run at the London Stadium. Four straight home defeats at the start of the season setting a new all-time record for the club. The anticipated breath of fresh air has yet to make any difference to the stench of decay and despair haunting the club for two years or more. Nuno must learn quickly from his mistakes to find a system (hopefully a traditional 4-3-) that adequately aligns with the strengths of those at his disposal. The alternative is remaining rooted in the relegation places and losing touch with those immediately above us. No surprise that the betting markets see West Ham as one of the firm favourites for the drop.

You don’t need to have watched too many recent West Ham games to realise that Lucas Paqueta is a waste of time and space as a False 9. That Tomas Soucek is far too slow and cumbersome to operate in the frenetic heart of midfield. Or that Max Kilman and Jean-Clair Todibo lack the strength, determination and presence to form an effective central defensive partnership – especially against big, powerful opponents. Does something happen on the training ground that convinces the coaching staff differently?

In many ways the dreadful team selection was compounded by strange half-time substitutions. Being forced to make three changes at the interval is a clear admission that you got the original selection wrong. But why not give the full backs an opportunity to switch to their preferred sides, at least for 15 minutes or so? And why replace Mateus Fernandes rather than Soucek or Andy Irving? Although bringing on Dinos Mavropanos did kind of make sense – the once weakest link has (by default rather than excellence) suddenly become the most effective choice in central defence – did it really require a change of shape to accompany it?

While past goal scoring exploits can make a case for Soucek being included in the matchday squad, no such reasoning can be applied to Guido Rodriguez. There are far better, younger and agile alternatives available. That he replaced Soucek at the time when a goal was desperately needed was close to perverse.

The greatest puzzle, however, surrounds Nuno’s refusal to use Callum Wilson. In my mind, Wilson should have been the obvious choice to start the game as the club’s only senior striker. Failing that he should have been first in the frame as a half-time replacement; not left to stew on the bench. Is there something personal going on here? Or is it a cost saving measure related to his pay as you play contract? He may be only one fall, stretch or tackle away from a long term injury layoff but he is easily the best striking option at the club.

It is telling that having previously lost Toney, Mbeumo and Wissa, Brentford are still able to field a functioning striker in the shape of Igor Thiago. Why then have West Ham struggled to fill that position since forever? I heard at the weekend that after Nottingham Forest striker, Taiwo Awoniyi, was badly injured last season, he was placed in an induced coma for treatment. I wondered if the same had been happening in the Rush Green treatment room, only they forget to wake them up again afterwards.

We now move on to another relegation six pointer at Elland Road on Friday night. A massive change of approach and attitude will be needed to come away with a point or more at one of the league’s most intimidating venues. Over to you, Nuno. COYI!

West Ham Monday Briefing: Corner Capers, Graham’s Crackers and Board Duplicity

How much longer can West Ham’s worst ever manager hang on at the London Stadium as he masterminds a twelfth defeat in 23 games. And what to do about the Board?

Welcome to West Ham where the misery never ends. Forget about the football. Enjoy the thrills of boardroom chaos, supporter protests, creeping apathy, clueless management and a spineless squad touted as relegation certainties.

Everybody knows it is only a matter of time before Graham Potter is shown the exit door at the London Stadium. Who’s ever heard of a manager ‘turning things around’ where performances have been awful for 20 plus games over eight months, and with no obvious signs of improvement on the horizon. What tactical masterstrokes could he possibly have up his sleeve to combat threats from a physical Everton side and set-piece specialists Arsenal in the two games remaining before the next international break?

West Ham have now beenbeaten in 12 of the 23 league games under Potter’s leadership (14 from 25 when cup games are included). At 52%, his lose percentage is higher than any other of the club’s Premier League managers, including the much derided Avram Grant. Why prolong the agony any longer than necessary?

Needless to say, replacing the coach is one small part of the multiple problems facing West Ham. Akin to putting anti-itch cream on a rash. It might provide welcome temporary relief, but the underlying chronic disorder lingers below the surface. The turmoil the club finds itself in hasn’t materialised overnight. It is a cumulative decline ten or more years in the making. As the business of football has evolved elsewhere to embrace strategic thinking and professionalism, West Ham have been petrified in an amateurish world of short-term thinking and season to season existence.

The club statement issued to supporters in the hope of heading off the planned Hammers United protests is a prime example of how tone deaf those in control are. Most likely penned by Karen Brady (sorry, Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge) – with a little help from ChatGBS – it was nothing more than a vain attempt to convince what a fantastic job they had all done over the years. No acknowledgement of the many mistakes made, the promises broken or an acceptance that change is needed to restore the identity, pride and passion to this great club.

I wonder what advice would be given to any business hopefuls on The Apprentice who had refused to listen to their customers, made promises they never intended to keep, and failed to hit any targets on product or experience. Just where do I find this world-class team and world-class stadium?

The obvious frustration is that in circumstances where the board are also the principal owners it is almost impossible to sack them. A change of ownership would be a complex and long winded process. The only interim hope for change is if the minority shareholders are sufficiently alarmed to band together, sideline David Sullivan and replace Brady with someone who understands the business of football. Over to you, Mr Czech Sphinx.

As far as Saturday’s game was concerned, it was more of the same from the fragile Hammers. Far too slow in possession and increasingly vulnerable at set pieces. Every opposing manager will have a clear idea now how to overcome Potter’s West Ham. Commit players forward, press high (safe in the knowledge they are too slow on the counter), and aim to win as many corners as possible.

It was amusing to hear one pundit’s view (Tony Gale, I think) that Potter would have had a word with his players at half-time about moving the ball forward more quickly. How ironic given that fannying around in the middle third safety zone is the very essence of Potterball. It’s what he dreams of, and why he is so besotted with the sideways passing skills of James Ward-Prowse. Potter was momentarily Wenger-like in his post-match comments by claiming not to have heard 50,000 boos when withdrawing Crysencio Summerville and Mateus Fernandes and leaving his favourite firmly in place. Now that JWP’s dead ball mojo has completely deserted him, he has nothing left to offer other than being a nice guy. A montage of his free-kick goals will soon be available to view on All Our Yesterdays!

It was a surprise to no-one when the opening Palace goal resulted from one of many corner kicks. As I understand it, West Ham do not employ a dedicated set piece coach. The role was added to the responsibilities of one of the existing coaching staff in much the same way as you give the new kid in the office a high-vis jacket and hard hat and call him the fire marshal. Not that it needed a coaching badge to tell Max Kilman that his job is to win the ball at all costs, even if it means occasionally getting hurt in the process.

Whoever signed off on a £40 million fee and seven-year contract for Kilman needs their head examining. In a crowded field for worst ever value for money West Ham signing he is in with a real shout of a podium finish. I’m all for ball-playing centre-backs but not when it comes at the expense of speed, strength, determination and defensive nous.

There was a brief period in the game immediately after Jarrod Bowen’s equaliser (where would we be without him) where the Hammers asumed the ascendency. The visitors suddenly looked rattled as West Ham belatedly discovered a sense of purpose and that they were allowed to attack with pace. Kyle Walker-Peters and Malick Diouf were looking dangerous along the flanks and Lucas Paqueta had a goal-bound header cleared off the line. But once Palace regained the lead, home heads dropped, and it was game over.

Once again, there was no evidence to support the assertion that Potter has a strong track record of developing young players. Several academy stars (Freddie Potts and Calum Marshall) who had featured heavily in pre-season were omitted completely from the matchday squad and will be questioning whether a pathway to first team action actually exists. Soungoutou Magassa and Luis Guilherme were given brief late runouts but at that stage of the game it was a thankless task. The earlier shape and discipline having transformed into a park football free-for-all by then.

There is something seriously wrong in any organisation where managers are repeatedly appointed at a time of crisis. Potter’s demise is now purely one of timing. If interested in the job, I expect Nuno Espirito Santo to be next up. Not that he is the ideal man for the task but because he is available and has shown at Wolves and Forest that he can work with what he’s got to produce a functioning team. It certainly wouldn’t be a long-term relationship as he will almost certainly fall out with Sullivan within 18 months or so. Unfortunately, the other desperate names in the frame (O’Neil, Bilic, Dyche, Benitez) all fill me with a sense of foreboding. As ever, the wild card is that Sullivan will screw up yet again by doing something truly stupid.

So there we have it. Stick with Potter and relegation is highly probable. Nuno would provide a fighting chance of mid-table obscurity even if it might not be an exciting ride. It’s about the best we can hope for until change is made at the top. If Nuno doesn’t fancy it before the international break, then find a willing caretaker to navigate the next couple of games. COYI!

West Ham Monday Briefing: Boardroom Blitz, Mads Hands, and the London Stadium Vincibles

Dysfunctional football club seeks coach to work alongside controlling and untrustworthy Chairman. Only unemployed applicants need apply.

Apart from when the actual games are being played, there is never a dull moment at the London Stadium these days. Fan protests, emergency board meetings (where even the elusive Czech sphinx put in an appearance), alleged resignations, share sales and manager speculation have all resurfaced in the wake of the Hammer’s abysmal start to the 2025/26 Premier League season.

On the sidelines, smug commentators have also returned to reprise their refrains of ‘Careful what you wish for.’; ‘The supporters are delusional.’ ‘There never was a West Ham way.’ As if expecting your team to entertain, to play on the front foot, to play with passion, to show determination, to hurt for the badge, to cause occasional upsets, to start each game with belief should be considered delusional.

Dashed expectations have been the norm at the club for most of my supporting life. The highs (and trophies) have been few and far between. Sure, success was great on the rare occasions that it turned up, but following West Ham has always been about pride, belonging, commitment and community – not adding entries to the roll of honours. Ignore those connections and the club loses the last remnants of its soul. A business run by accountants – no longer a sport – where supporters are customers and spreadsheets calculate average revenue per ticket sale.

The game has changed tremendously since the founding of the Premier League. Finances play an increasingly pivotal role on the decisions clubs must make in building squads and planning for the future. Not a problem for the rich clubs whose revenues and sponsorship deals leave room to spare, but a major headache for all the others needing to balance the book. But where we have seen clubs like Brighton, Bournemouth and Brentford successfully adapt to the economic realities through forward looking recruitment practices, the West Ham approach has been to carry on regardless. Paying inflated fees and wages for the supposed razzle dazzle signing of established players while penny pinching on the infrastructure required for scouting, data analytics, training facilities and youth development. Apart from the unexpected gift of Declan Rice from Chelsea, the academy’s output has been shocking over the last decade or so.

There is no short-term answer to this malaise under the current leadership of David Sullivan and Karen Brady. There is little chance that Sullivan will voluntarily step down and any hoped for embarrassment directed towards him from fan groups will merely bounce of his thick skin. These people have no shame. Unless the remaining shareholders group together to vote him out, he will leave only in his own time.

In the meantime, the only plausible change posible at the club is replacing the manager/ coach – the fourth in just over a year – as the short rein of the hapless Graham Potter splutters towards an inevitable conclusion. It will be farewell to the tetchy press conferences with banal answers to inaudible questions, the head scratching team selections, the misplaced loyalty to underperforming players, the baffling substitutions, and the bewildered touchline demeanour witnessed on Saturday. He will be a disappointing footnote in West Ham’s history alongside Avram Grant.

As a typical West Ham fan, I have experienced West Ham defeats many more times than victories. After all, they have now regained leadership of the most ever Premier League defeats (462 to Everton’s 461) with a goal difference of -243. Ordinarily, I take a philosophical view to such events and they are consigned to history well before the first pint is finished or the second reading of the football results on Sports Report has aired. On Saturday, though, there was a lingering anger which simmered the entire weekend. How could such a tame surrender to an arch-rival ever be allowed to happen?

The trouble with Potter is that he thinks he is far smarter than everyone else in the room. And far smarter than he really is. He would no doubt have pasted media coverage of his brave decision to change formation and his inspired game-changing substitutions at Forest in his matchday journal. Never mind that it had been blindingly obvious to every fan that three at the back was an unmitigated disaster or that Crysencio Summerville had only been brought on to give him some minutes following a lengthy lay-off.

Nevertheless, he would see it as confirmation of his genius which would be followed up – in a home game against Spurs – by playing with no striker, putting two keepers on the bench, and expecting the slow but nice guys (Tomas Soucek and James Ward-Prowse) to dominate the midfield battleground.

Saturday’s game was relatively even in the opening exchanges. Lucas Paqueta should have done better to round off a smart West Ham move while Summerville and Malick Diouf were combining well on the left-hand side. Diouf putting several teasing crosses into the areas where lesser coaches teams might have played a striker.

As the first half progressed though, the visitors started to boss the game. Although unable to create much from open play it became apparent that set pieces were causing alarm in the Hammer’s defence. Thomas Frank had used similar tactics at Brentford on numerous occasions to unsettle previous West Ham sides.

Where Tottenham had clearly rehearsed these routines, the hosts reaction was one of panic. Mads Hermansen is too short and slight to be a dominant presence in the box and chose to stay rooted on his line. Did he know he can use his hands? The remaining defenders adopted a loose zonal marking system incapable of tracking the runs of the visitor’s. Tottenham would have taken the lead on 20 minutes had it not been for the intervention of the officials, but it felt only a matter of time before they managed to force one home.

Having survived to half-time, it was the ideal to make changes to shape and tactics. But none were forthcoming. Within 10 minutes, the game was lost. The threatened goal from a corner materialised minutes after the break, Soucek was sent off for a needless lunge, and that was it. West Ham heads dropped, Tottenham were allowed to score two more straightforward goals and the crowd went home. Thankfully, the visitors eased off after the third goal went in. The one bright spot was the introduction of Soungoutou Magassa which surely marks the end of the Soucek/ JWP axis.

The Premier League is just four games old. Three clubs (Liverpool, Chelsea and Crystal Palace) remain in contention as Invincibles and two (Aston Villa and Wolves) are potential Vincibles. Although West Ham may have escaped that ignominy by winning at Forest, the chances if a win at the London Stadium look some way off.

Potter has managed just two home wins from 11 attempts. A fortunate victory over Fulham in his first game at home and a routine win over a doomed Leicester side. In those 11 games, we have celebrated just 11 goals and endured six defeats. Time for change! Now would be perfect but a ‘three games to save your job‘ ultimatum is my predicted outcome.

Getting rid of Potter is, of course, only part of the problem. Who comes next, who is available and who is prepared to work at such a dysfunctional club are the next issues. Several hats have been thrown into the ring online with Nuno and Mourinho, as two recently unemployed managers, mentioned most often. Imagining Sullivan and Jose working together is mind-boggling and so can probably be ruled out.

The unfortunate trend, however – as with Prime Ministers – is to find someone who is even worse than what came before. Meet the new boss, worse than the old boss. In that spirit, please step forward Mr Dyche. COYI!

West Ham Briefing: Potter’s Wheel of Good Fortune, Summerville Love-In and Last-Minute Window Shopping

It was a vintage unexpected West Ham display at Nottingham Forest where only the overzealous or insane could have predicted a 3-0 demolition masterclass for Graham Potter’s men

I was so convinced that Sunday’s game was going to be another heavy defeat that I considered wearing a black armband just to watch it. How wrong I was. And it was this sudden and unexpected transition from dysphoria to euphoria over the course of ninety minutes (plus added time) that made victory so sweet and uplifting.

Having criticised Graham Potter in the past for his poor record in the West Ham hot seat, it is only fair to give him credit for his part in yesterday’s success. The decision to scrap the three centre back experiment in favour of a back four certainly had my support – and that of many others judging by online reaction. Some might say it was a case of Potter playing catch-up as many had singled out the defensive formation as the side’s greatest issue since the opening day. I have a real dislike of the back 3/5 as the default formation – it is too predictable and stifles creativity – and it is no surprise that so few coaches opt for it – only Manchester United, Wolves and Crystal Palace on a regular basis as far as I know.

Still, Potter made the right call and the relief in his demeanour palpable. In his post-match comments, Potter suggested that defeats to Sunderland and Chelsea were primarily down to individual errors. That it was results rather than performances which had been poor. For now, we must agree to disagree on that point but let’s see how events unfold after the international break. The win was copybook awayday smash and grab, and it will be fascinating to see how the approach translates at home in the London Stadium, where the coach’s record sits at just two wins from ten.

The Hammers made the usual tentative start at the City Ground with worrying early signs that they could be caught out by early through balls. But once settled, a more compact West Ham rearguard were able to limit the host’s threat to a succession of hopeful crosses. With Kyle Walker-Peters and Malick Diouf doing a great job of policing the flanks, the excellent Dinos Mavropanos and skipper Max Kilman were free to dominate the penalty area in a way that is expected of central defenders.

The brightest moment of the first half came when impressive debutant Mateus Fernandes perfectly picked out the run of Lucas Paqueta whose first time effort was tipped over by the Forest keeper.

Despite the Hammers growing confidence, caution continued to get the better of them when in possession. Reluctant to take risks, commit players to attack or move the ball forward with purpose. It took a collection of inspired substitutions to change the complexion of the game completely – Callum Wilson (64^th minute), Andy Irving (75) and Crysencio Summerville (82) on for Niclas Fullkrug, James Ward-Prowse and Fernandes respectively.

The introduction of Summerville might well have been a token gesture; to give him a short run-out after such a lengthy lay-off. Yet within six minutes, his pace, energy and direct running had set up Jarrod Bowen for a delightfully instinctive opener and won the penalty (converted by Paqueta) to double the West Ham lead.

The signing of Callum Wilson had divided opinion among West Ham fans. There’s no doubt he is an intelligent and mobile footballer with a level of close control rare in a West Ham striker. His presence and movement caused immediate nuisance to the Forest defence, and he capped off a fine display with a well taken headed goal – West Ham’s third and his 89^th in the Premier League.

Special mention also to Irving who, as ever, acquitted himself expertly in the few minutes he was allowed on the pitch. Quite why he has never been given the nod over several of the other underperforming midfielders is an ongoing puzzle.

And no forgetting a first clean sheet of the season. Well-done to Mads Hermansen for bouncing back from an awkward start to his West Ham career. He wasn’t unduly tested by Forest but handled everything thrown at him competently. It was noticeable how comfortable he is with the ball at his feet.

Despite Sommerville grabbing the headlines, my man of the match vote goes to Diouf. Strong in defence, quick to get forward and provider of wonderful crosses. But there were also many other fine performances including Mavropanos. Walker-Peters, Fernandes, Bowen and Paqueta. The mazy Payet-esque run by Bowen would have been a delightful goal had it not been for Wilson’s intervention.

Only time will tell whether Potter has answered his critics with this unlikley win. In many ways, it was a very un-Potter like victory based on fast breakaways/ counterattacks and defending a lead by trying to score more rather than sitting back, bringing on more defenders, and conceding space and territory. Was this by accident or design? Trying to visualise a Potter lineup that simultaneously includes Magassa, Fernandes, Paqueta and Summerville stretches adventure to mind bending proportions. Never mind, at least we now have three surprise points on the board and are only three away from a Champions League spot😉.

VAR – Ruining Football Since 2019

When West Ham scored their opener on Sunday, I was waiting for VAR to rule that the throw-in leading up to it had been awarded to the Hammers incorrectly and that the goal should be chalked off. This came on the heels of one of the most ludicrous VAR interventions ever in the Chelsea – Fulham game on Saturday when a collision in one half of the pitch was deemed to be a careless enough challenge to rule out a Fulham goal in the other. Quite why the VAR guy felt the need to get involved, why the referee went along with it and how it can take four minutes to check a clear and obvious error, highlights everything that is wrong with the implementation. Putting useful technology into the hands of incompetents will always fail. VAR is sucking the life, joy and spontaneity out of the football experience.

It used to be said that two pairs of eyes are better than one. But whoever said that had never met referees. Keep the goal-line technology and semi-automated off-sides but chuck the rest out until someone sensible can be found to operate it.

Pawn Man Swoops In To Save Kyle MacFallguy

The funniest story of the internet content week was the idea that David Sullivan was taking back control of the club’s transfer business due to the failure of Potter and MacFallguy to identify any players the Chairman was prepared to sign. Surely only an idiot believes this spin from the man who has undermined every recruitment specialist hired by the club over the last ten years.

Pawn Man announces two new West Ham signings

As it happens, it may just be possible that the club has made a few excellent signings this window. At least they are in the right age range and can move beyond snail pace. We will need to wait to see how reasonable the transfer fees paid turn out to be.

The club has taken an unusual approach to transfers. Announce at the start of the window that you are skint and must sell before you buy – so that buying clubs can screw you on fees received. Then do little or nothing for over 80 days before desperation sets in and allows selling clubs to similarly screw you on fees paid.

Today is, of course, the final day of the summer window. Most often, it is an anticlimax at the London Stadium especially when considering the typical time needed to complete a medical and seal a deal for each player. Will this year be any different? Was winning on Sunday bad timing, giving the board an excuse to do nothing more now that everything seems ok again?

We can definitely expect a few more outgoings with Nayef Aguerd and Guido Rodriguez ready and waiting with their bags packed . Maybe Andy Irving will also depart in search of regular football – I hope not. Plus, there are still rumours about Tomas Soucek heading for a Moyes reunion tour.

As for incomings, we are still short in cover for central defence and striker. Useful youthful cover in both areas would be more than welcome.

The bright spot is that with the window closing (slamming shut) at 7pm, there’s no need to stay up late this year. COYI!

Mayday, Mayday: Who Can Save Us From David Sullivan’s West Ham Madness?

A thick-skinned Chairman and thin-skinned Coach promise nothing but despair as West Ham’s abysmal season gets off to the worse possible start. There must be some kind of way out of here!

For many West Ham supporters (probably a majority), it became apparent long ago that responsibility for the underachievement, short-termism and general malaise afflicting the club is down to the leadership of one person, Chairman David Sullivan. A man whose hubris, arrogance, and pretension has led him to wildly overestimate his abilities when it comes to football, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Someone who refuses ever to learn from his myriad mistakes.

Until this week, it was not a view widely shared or spoken of outside the club’s support. In the wider, passively compliant media, supporter dissent was more likley to be depicted as a display of unrealistic entitlement by fans. Stay in your lane and accept that you are followers of a second level club who should be happy to ride on the coattails of the glamourous elite. That suddenly changed when a shambolic transfer window – and an even worse start to the season – prompted others to question what the hell was going on at West Ham. If you haven’t already come across them, I urge you to read the article in Sunday’s Observer and watch the HITC video on YouTube. Nothing new for the seasoned Hammers watcher but refreshing to discover it being recognised externally.

While this change in perception is a reaction to the dreadful performances over the last week or so, the problems at West Ham stem from a long history of under-investment and mismanagement in the boardroom. As the fortunes of English football have been swept along on a tide of global professionalism, West Ham are left stranded on an island of amateur neglect.

A club based in London with a massive fanbase which regularly features in the world’s top twenty rich list should aspire higher than mere Premier League survival. Otherwise, what is the point. Throw in the uninspired appointment of managers who regard entertainment as an optional extra, add the broken promises over the stadium move and it’s no wonder that dissatisfaction is at an all-time high.

Fewer and fewer sources – those who rely on leaks from Sullivan and family for their insider knowledge I guess – continue to peddle club propaganda regarding the constraints of financial rules and regulations. We have become wise to such attempts at distraction. Whatever financial mess the club finds itself in, it is the direct result of the board’s incompetence in the past. No plan, no strategy, and no-one with knowledge of the game to make key football decisions. Investment in scouting and data analytics is minimal and no thought has been given to the concepts of squad succession. Managerial recruitment has been based solely on who is out of work at the time and player recruitment on agent recommendations and the perceived razzle-dazzle factor of any signing.

The latest risible online ‘EXCLUSIVE’ is that Sullivan proposes to take full charge of recruitment during the last days of the transfer window. Are we supposed to thank the lord, we are saved? In truth, he has been in effective control of transfers since he first showed up. Perfectly able to torpedo any deal he doesn’t like the look of by pitching unacceptable bids or insisting on ridiculous payment terms – undermining his recruitment team(s) and alienating many a selling club in the process.

On the few occasions West Ham have tasted success in the Sullivan era, it has been by accident rather than design. The Dimitri Payet inspired season of 2015/16 and Declan Rice’s contribution to Moyes purple patch are prime examples. Moments of optimism which quickly faded and died once the principal player was removed from the scene.

While sentiments of “Sack the Board” are understandable it is improbable in a scenario where they are the only shareholders. One wonders what the other shareholders must make of it all. If they are indifferent, then it is a huge worry. The best (or only) short term hope lies with them ganging up to oust Sullivan as Chairman and replacing Brady with someone who understands the game. Brady’s reputation as a business guru is also a puzzle.

West Ham’s fortunes are now at their lowest ebb since the desperation of Avram Grant. Relegation odds have been slashed on the back of two abysmal performances with survival hopes pinned on there being three even worse teams to take the fall.

Following defeat at Sunderland, the Graham Potter masterplan was to make a single change, replacing the sluggish Guido Rodriguez with the lumbering Tomas Soucek. I can’t quite put my finger on why this didn’t work or why the defence which was shocking at the Stadum of Light didn’t suddenly become impenetrable. Unsurprisingly, Chelsea were gift wrapped five goals without barely having to break sweat.

The one glimmer of hope in Potter’s disappointing spell last season was that he was able to cling to his mantra of being competitive in every match. This has now been shot to pieces and underlines the flaw in his approach. The style of play means his team are never going to score many themselves and, therefore, require a near perfect defence in order to pick up any points. With a trio of centre backs lacking both the physical and mental toughness to compete in the Premier League, this is almost certain to fail.

There comes a period in almost all West Ham seasons where the manager is given so many games to save his job. It is unusual for this happen before the clocks change but reports suggest that Potter already has just two matches to save his – the EFL cup game at Wolves tomorrow night and Sunday’s league visit to Nottingham Forest. If that is the case (and without the prospect of any timely new recruits), he may as well start packing his bags.

Potter comes across as remarkably thin-skinned for a football manager. He is on record as saying he doesn’t care what people write but if he were to ask my advice this is what I would tell him. Put Alphonse Areola back in goal until it is obvious that Mads Hermansen is match ready; abandon the playing it out from the back nonsense, it is more trouble than it is worth; bin the 3/5 at the back formation in favour of a back four (4-3-3 or 4-2-3-1); pick the best two centre backs at heading the ball; prioritise pace and strength in the midfield as much as that is possibl; push Jarrod Bowen back out wide where he is at his most dangerous; don’t leave out players solely because they have challenged your approach in the past; try not to play anyone out of position or get carried away by what you perceive as your own tactical brilliance; buy some lucky heather.

Potter’s departure wouldn’t bother me at all – his football is as dull as anything – but we just know that whoever follows will be equally unimpressive. Another knee-jerk such as Dyche or Cooper to bore the pants from us. Would any progressive manager be stupid enough to sign up under the current regime? I doubt it.

These are truly depressing times as a West Ham supporter. An early exit from the EFL Cup and pointless in the league until late October is a distinct possibility unless three or four inspired signings emerge in the closing days of the transfer window. COYI!

Further Adventures In Blunderland: Potter’s West Ham Are Ruthlessly Humiliated On Wearside

Expectations were low to start with but West Ham’s performance against a hastily assembled, newly promoted Sunderland side was abysmal. There is little hope for improvement unless drastic changes are made in the remainder of the transfer window.

Well, that went well, didn’t it? If any cautious optimism had existed that things might not be as bad as they seemed before kick-off, the thought didn’t survive beyond the half-time team talk. Set your expectations low, they say, and you won’t be disappointed. How wrong can they be. A tame opening day defeat against a team of hastily assembled strangers, tipped by many to be relegation fodder, is about as bad as it gets.

The single moment of passion and energy from the Hammers all afternoon was the reported fracas in the visitor’s dressing room once the game had finished. According to exclusive un-named Under The Hammer’s sources, the commotion kicked off when players ransacked the building in search of their lost dignity and self-respect.

Suspicion for the incident immediately fell on Niclas Fullkrug who has previous for such post-match outbursts. This will be confirmed when he is benched and replaced by Callum Wilson for the Chelsea game on Friday. I sense that Graham Potter is hot on compliant harmony rather than dissent in his squads, even though well-managed conflict can often be the pathway to improved unity and performance.

An opening day defeat for West Ham would not ordinarily ring alarm bells. But it took the tally to just five wins from 19 Premier League games since Potter was appointed first team coach last January. Long gone are the honeymoon days when he was seen as the breath of fresh air replacing the incoherent Lopetegui. As the gloss has slowly worn off, all we hear in press conferences are words we understand but which mean nothing when strung together into a sentence. There is no conviction that a better tomorrow is just around the corner.

Almost all supporters will understand that the problems at West Ham extend way beyond and above the latest in the long line of struggling coaches. The Board love to bleat about the restrictions that PSR places on them while remaining oblivious to their part in the appalling and shortsighted mismanagement of the club’s managerial appointments and transfer business over the past decade or so. West Ham have been a club run on egos and expedience as a substitute for sound business strategy.

Aside from the boardroom malaise, I struggle to understand why Potter has earned such a respected reputation for tactical acumen by the world of football punditry. His record at Brighton was OK enough, but it wasn’t until he left that they really pushed on. After six months in the job, a top flexible coach should be making best use of the resources at his disposal. Not attempting to shoehorn unsuitable players into the only way he knows how to play.

Saturday’s selection surprise was hearing that Mads Hermansen had been handed the goalkeeper gloves despite having next to no opportunity to train with his new colleagues. It led to a debut the Dane will be very keen to forget. Potter having had a fall out with Alphonse Areola perhaps!

Whoever was selected in midfield was always sure to disappoint. It would be a stretch for anyone to assemble a functioning threesome from those available. Including Freddie Potts would at least have resembled a progressive move – and been popular with the fans – but it was not to be. Instead, we were treated to the sluggish back and forth of JWP and Guido Rodriguez together with the wasteful exhibitionism of Lucas Paqueta.

The usual slow and cautious start from West Ham was maybe understandable on this occasion in light of the expected early onslaught from newly promoted Sunderland. Hermansen was called into early action to deny the hosts a goal following a trademark ball watching demonstration by Max Kilman. Yet the Hammers gradually gained the first half initiative with long spells of safe, controlled possession punctuated by occasional impressive interplays such as the move that almost brought a debut goal for El Hadji Malick Diouf. However, possession doesn’t win games and West Ham’s build up play was generally too slow and ponderous to create sustained or serious threats. Watching other Premier League games at the weekend made me wonder why none of the other coaches can see the crab like beauty of the backwards and sideways pass?

If West Ham had been winning on points at the break, that all changed in the second half. Either someone had laced the half-time tea with Valium or else the gaffer’s motivational team talk had managed to send everybody to sleep. The inability to serve up two consecutive halves of acceptable performances has been a feature of games for some time now. Why is this? Poor preparation, inflexible tactics or an absence of leadership in the dugout and on the pitch. Or do not enough players care enough?

Whatever the reason, West Ham offered nothing as an attacking force in the second period. Sunderland sensed the visitors’ weaknesses and opted for a more direct approach which ultimately presented them with the rare phenomenon of two headed goals from open play. You might think this would be an extremely unlikely outcome against a team playing three central defenders. But none of our three are the type to put their bodies on the line or to dominate and bully an opponent. I fear this will be exposed on aregualr basis during the season if left unresolved.

Having gone a goal down the response was to bring on Tomas Soucek and Callum Wilson in place of JWP and Rodriguez – combined age of 61 replaced by a combined age of 63. It showed how poor the bench quality was for creative, young or attacking options. This was apparently Plan B – a hope for best formation – where any pretence at shape and organisation had been carelessly abandoned.

If there can be any positive from Saturday’s debacle, it is that no-one can realistically pretend not to know how bad the current team are. A club that has been treading water in the rising tide of Premier League quality. The hope is that even the West Ham board realise that money must be spent in the next two weeks if topflight status is to be preserved for another year. COYI!

🦀🦀🦀🦀 The official crab rating index for West Ham’s performance against Sunderland is 4 out of 5 crabs.

They Think It’s All Over; It is Now – And It’s A Massive Relief for All West Ham Fans!

It’s nose bleeds all round at West Ham as Graham Potter’s side climb to the dizzy heights of 14th place on the closing day of a dreadful season. Miracles are needed in the next 12 weeks if a repeat is to be avoided.

And so, there you have it. A dull, turgid, unimaginative season is finally over to the relief of the many. The very worst of seasons since the last one we had suffered; and further proof of the futility of raised expectations when it comes to supporting West Ham.

The record books will show the 2024/25 had actually outperformed 2022/23 on most of the metrics in the league campaign. But, of course, those painful memories had been swept away by the euphoria of a famous night in Prague. There was no such redemption this time round though, as woeful Premier League fortunes were equally matched by early, limp cup exits.

It would be nice to think the slate could be wiped clean during the summer; allowing next season – which begins in just 12 weeks time – to be approached with a renewed sense of optimism. Sadly, there is little evidence to suggest the Hammers are capable of metamorphosing into next year’s Nottingham Forest. It would take a transfer window of momentous brilliance and a road to Damascus style conversion for the coach if the side is to be transformed into credible top eight material.

It was already known that Graham Potter would finish the season with a worse record than the manager he replaced in January. The final day victory at Ipswich did make the points per game difference marginal in the end (1.11 vs 1.15). And the late strike by Mohammed Kudus edged Potter ahead of Lopetegui on goals scored per game (1.22 vs 1.20). This in addition to the more significant improvement on goals conceded per game (1.28 vs 1.95). The tiniest crumbs of comfort in the boardroom, perhaps.

The eventual 14^th place finish was ultimately unexpected but was fitting given the amount of time West Ham had been marooned there earlier in the season. Lopetegui’s side had, in fact, spent only one week lower than 14^th, while yesterday’s last gasp win earned Potter his loftiest position since defeat at Chelsea on February 3.

Long time West Ham fans have been raised with a wary eye on disappointment. Even if it sometimes appears to be hiding, in the back of your mind you know it’s never very far away. A couple of decent league finishes and three years of European adventures are now in the rearview mirror as a distant false dawn; an accidental temporary anomaly rather than the first steps of a new golden age. A glance at the club’s record across all prior 38-game Premier League seasons does not lie; there is an underlying equilibrium that centres on a mediocrity which underperforms the club’s financial standing. While the season just finished was undeniably awful, it is not an obvious outlier and sits as 14^th out of 27 for goals scored, and 17^th out of 27 for points won.

Adding to the current pain has been that any pretence of serving up entertaining and enterprising football that was once the West Ham trademark has long been lost and forgotten. For too long, the club has resorted to dull, pragmatist managers whose overriding philosophy has been to concede fewer than the opposition, not to outscore them. Although individual approaches may be different, Potter has done nothing to suggest he is an upgrade on Lopetegui, Moyes or Allardyce when it comes to enterprise. Potter’s media representation as a bright, young coach puzzles in the light of his reputation at Brighton and Chelsea for pointless possession and lack of shot creation. Can or will he prove us wrong over time?

The Ipswich game was a largely unremarkable affair punctuated by several well-taken goals. West Ham enjoyed plenty of early possession but (unsurprisingly) made few penalty area entries. Once again, the team selection left us scratching our heads, with the inclusion of just two attack minded players in front of the most workmanlike midfield imaginable. Fortunately, Ipswich contrived to lend a hand by gifting the Hammers the lead just before the break; Jarrod Bowen’s assist setting up James Ward-Prowse for his only goal of the season.

Parity was restored early in the second half when Jean-Clair Todibo (who played all afternoon as if under the influence) couldn’t be bothered to put in a challenge, allowing Broadhead free access to stroke past an exposed Lukasz Fabianski.

The Hammers finally put the match to bed courtesy of fine strikes from Bowen and Kudus. The first, the result of neat interplay between Bowen and Aaron Wan-Bissaka before the skipper blasted home from just outside the area. According to Tony Gale the ball continued to gather pace as it went, despite this being scientifically impossible. You cannae change the laws of physics, Galey! The second arrived when Kudus exchanged passes with a ‘rampaging’ Guido Rodriguez to curl home and put the result beyond doubt. A low key game with low key goal celebrations. No Ward-Prowse golf swing, and no Kudus advertising hoarding pose. I wonder how many of those featuring will still be with us come the end of the summer!

***

I’ve always been of the view that the only statistic than wins games is goal scored. Nevertheless, who doesn’t like a selection of improbable Premier League statistics (harvested from the FBRef site) which show how West Ham players compare in the statistical scheme of things. Here are the categories which feature Hammers in the top ten leader board positions for the season.

Assists: Jarrod Bowen (Joint 10th)
Goals + Assists: Jarrod Bowen (Joint 9th)
Shots on Target: Jarrod Bowen (Joint 8th)
Goals per Shot of Target: Tomas Soucek (Joint 9th)
Goals minus xG: Jarrod Bowen (4th)
Through Balls: Lucas Paqueta (10th)
% of Dribblers Tackled: Max Kilman (1st), Jean-Clair Todibo (7th), Aaron Wan-Bissaka (Joint 9th)
Blocks: Max Kilman (8th)
Interceptions: Aaron Wan-Bissaka (1st)
Clearances: Max Kilman (5th)
Successful Take-Ons: Mohammed Kudus (2nd), Aaron Wan-Bissaka (7th)
Successful Take-On %: Max Kilman (3rd)
Minutes Played: Max Kilman (10th)
Yellow Cards: Lucas Paqueta (Joint 10th)
Aerials Won: Max Kilman (5th), Tomas Soucek (Joint 8th)
% of Aerials Won: Konstantinos Mavropanos (7th), Max Kilman (10th)
Fouls Drawn: Mohammed Kudus (Joint 5th), Lucas Paqueta (7th)
Save Percentage: Lukasz Fabianski (2nd)

Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Potter If You Think West Ham Are Done?

With Potter’s ‘competitive’ Hammers tumbling to the eighth defeat of his reign, he is now destined to end the season with a worse record than the derided and sacked Lopetegui. Where on earth do we go from here?

Whatever the outcome of West Ham’s season closer at Ipswich next weekend, Graham Potter will end the season with an inferior points per game record to the sacked manager he replaced. Being unable to raise even this lowest of bars makes a mockery of his claim that the team have become more competitive under his stewardship. How can a football team be more competitive, yet the outcomes be worse? The operation was a success, but the patient died!

One wonders what Potter’s objectives for the season were when he sat down on day one at the Rush Green training ground. Time would, of course, be needed to get to know the squad of players he had inherited; their strengths, their limitations and how they would fare as part of a possession-based team. But after that, what next? What if the players were not suited to his preferred style of keep the ball at the expense of anything else football? What if his mission to become tighter at the back could only be achieved by stifling the attacking threat of your most valuable players? Experience suggests there was no apparent plan for such scenarios. No desire to find an equilibrium between the ‘vision’ and what the resources could deliver. Just carry on repeating what didn’t work, or couldn’t be accomplished, regardless. The pursuit of perfection as the enemy of good.

If a significant proportion of the squad are unlikely to be still at the club come the start of next season anyway, why fixate so stubbornly on converting them to an alien style of play in the interim? And why not use the risk-free time for experimentation and to take a look at the club’s youth?

The predicament has been no more obvious than in the games played at the London Stadium. The record speaks for itself: two wins and four defeats in nine games with just ten goals scored. Hardly the stuff to keep supporters entertained or on the edge of their seats. Where there have been decent performances (or results) they have all come in away games. The coach has spoken about turning performances into points, but no home fixture springs to mind where the team picked up fewer points than deserved.

It was a rinse and repeat performance for Sunday’s visit of Nottingham Forest. Flattered by the previous week’s success against a disinterested and demotivated Manchester United, Potter elected to field an unchanged starting eleven. He obviously anticipated no downside to pitting the world’s slowest midfield against an opponent famous for the speed and precision of their counterattacks. Oblivious also to the idea that supporters might welcome a display to shout about in the final home game of a dismal season. What has so often been celebrated as a carnival occasion had turned into a wake. Leave them wanting more, isn’t that what they say? Who in their right mind would want more of what the coach has served up so far?

As ever there was an all too brief opening flurry from the Hammers. A lively start that saw a smart save from a Tomas Soucek header and a moment where Vladimir Coufal might have broken his West Ham goal scoring duck. In his post-match comments, Potter said they had tried to be on the front foot, but it was never going to last long with the unambitious lineup he had chosen. True to form the visitors first took control of the game, if not possession, and then took the lead when the folly of playing out from the keeper was mercilessly exploited by the impressive Gibbs-White. It is clear to even the most casual observer that Alphonse Areola is like a deer in the headlights with the ball at his feet, and yet the tactic has persisted.

For a team that scores so few goals, falling behind is a routine fatal error. Not once this season have West Ham recovered from conceding first to win a game. It was a record that never looked like coming to an end this time either. Forest were happy to concede possession, sit deep in the knowledge their opponents lacked the craft and imagination to break through, and wait patiently for the opportunity to score a second.

In a break with tradition, the Hammers passed on the half-time substitution ploy in favour of a quadruple change just before the hour mark. The switch had an immediate impact when the visitors doubled their lead shortly afterwards. Two changes at the break and two on the hour would surely have been less disruptive.

However, with the slowest players removed and the introduction of several with a more progressive mindset, the intensity of the West Ham attacks increased. An intensity fuelled by a growing frustration at the visitor’s blatant and unpunished time-wasting tactics.

This game has to be up there with the worst ever when it comes to the combined efforts of the officiating team. The referee was criminally weak on the time wasting and play acting employed by the visitors – a tactic that descended into embarrassing as the clock ticked down. He had lost control well before the end and the bizarre drop ball sequence that preceded the final whistle. Meanwhile VAR taking six minutes to decide whether an offside player had impacted play or not was a further example of how it has failed to fulfil its original purpose of checking for obvious errors. It has taken on a life of its own to look for things that no-one wanted from it and which had never been an issue in the past. If the authorities want to take action to improve the integrity of the football, then it should look at eliminating the cancer of dark arts that is increasingly creeping into the game (I’m looking at you, Nottingham Forest). Not checking for sub-millimetre offside calls.

We were at least treated to a wonderful Jarrod Bowen goal before the game ended. To repeat what many others have said: where would we be without him? There was also a very respectable cameo from the talented Luis Guilherme in the closing stages. Why haven’t we seen more from him – or from the academy players come to that – given the overall pointlessness of the past dozen games or so? And what the hell happened to Andy Irving who after a promising start at Chelsea has only played one more minute of first team football.

Thankfully, there is only one more game of the campaign to endure. I’m assuming we will start next season with Potter in charge but there is a mountain for him to climb if he is to convince as the right man for the job at West Ham. Even if he and Macaulay do manage to work wonders in the transfer market (and I believe their contribution to Brighton’s success in that area is wildly exaggerated) there are still many questions as to how well the football fits with supporter expectations. The media holds him in high esteem, but I do wonder what that is based on. It’s not from winning games and enterprising football. COYI!

Groovin’ On A Sunday Afternoon: West Ham’s Dad’s Army See Off Manchester’s Young Rascals

A welcome win for West Ham against an awful and disinterested Manchester United side in the weekend sunshine. Does it tell us anything we didn’t know? Probably not!

If you had woken suddenly from a season long coma to the news that West Ham had completed the double against the mighty Manchester United – and climbed above the two ‘big six’ Europa Cup finalists in the league table – then you might have been fooled into thinking this must surely be a time of great joy. A reason for good old east-end knees-up.

Surely, it had to mean Champions League football at the London Stadium next year with a victorious open top bus parade already planned. Only later would it be realised that the game was in fact an inconvenient, end-of-season affair. A match between two of the bottom six where, due to a bizarre alignment of the planets, the hapless Red Devils are still in with a shout of qualifying for the Champions League. Whatever the one-game-at-a-time mutterings from the Manchester United manager, next week’s final is clearly a far greater priority than was the visit of West Ham for Matchweek 36.

At a club where baffling team selections have become as commonplace as a chorus of Bubbles, scientists were able to measure reaction to the announcement of Graham Potter’s starting eleven on the Richter scale. Niclas Fullkrug and Edson Alvarez were once again left on the naughty step, there was not a youth player in sight, an unnecessary full back shuffle, and (as a coup de grace) a recall for the much-maligned Guido Rodriguez. It was the Argentine’s first start since the home defeat by Crystal Palace in mid-January. Not a player that we had ever expected to see line up in the claret in blue ever again.

Even by West Ham standards it was a very old team. An average age of 29.6 – six players aged over 30 and just one younger than 25. Confidence was low that the Premier League Dad’s Army would have any chance of putting an end to the dismal run of eight games without a win.

What we didn’t know, however, was that agreement had been reached to play the game as a demonstration of walking football. With a level of intensity expected at an OAP’s Sunday morning tai chi lesson on the Common. Ironically, it was ideally suited to many of our players whose undoubted training ground competence is routinely undone when put under pressure by fast pressing opponents. Fortunately, Manchester United did none of that. Either because they lack the players to execute it or were more concerned about picking up injuries in advance of their trip to Bilbao.

It is between amusing and surprising to see the poor value and quality that poses as the present-day Manchester United squad. Assembled at huge expense it is prima facie evidence of how not to run a football club. It’s possible that some of the younger signings will turn out to be future gems, but overall, you would have to say their transfer policy is even more shoddy than the Hammers. The exception to the rule is Bruno Fernandes who appears to have carried them single handedly over the past four of five seasons. So ineffective were they in attack that it was only after the introduction of Harry Maguire that the threat level was raised in the West Ham defence. I had read an article at the weekend that Hojlund was eager to prove himself at the highest level. It made me wonder whether he had considered a career change to scaffolder.

Predictably, the West Ham goals were scored by Tomas Soucek and Jarrod Bowen. Together, they have notched over a half of their side’s Premier League total this season. I am conflicted about the contribution made by the big Czech. You couldn’t hope for more committed player and, of course he regularly weighs in with important goals from an otherwise impotent midfield. Yet, he is anonymous for long periods allowing the game to pass him by. Is that enough in the modern game where speed of thought and action – press, pass, carry – have set the standards of midfield play?

To be fair, Soucek had a decent game; put in some important blocks and even got involved in the exhibition of one touch passing that the Hammers put on towards the end. But that was the story of the game for other West Ham players too. Given time and space they can look at home at this level. Sadly, it all falls to pieces against quicker, aggressive opponents.

Despite sitting on an apparently comfortable 2-0 lead, it wouldn’t be a West Ham game without a nail-biting finale. In his wisdom, Potter elected to remove Bowen and Mohammed Kudus in a double substitution on 73 minutes with both players looking equally unimpressed with the decision. Removing his only out-ball runners is a tactic that hadn’t worked well for the coach in the past, so he decided to try it once again anyway – just in case. It immediately invited extra pressure as the Hammers found it increasingly difficult to clear their lines. Was it part of Fullkrug’s punishment to abandon him up top without any recognised service or support?

Still a win is a win; and they don’t come along frequently enough to belittle. I am not sure we learned anything new from the experience, although we are now TOP of the bottom six and can go into the remaining two games with a modicum of positivity. The magical 40-point mark has been reached, and if another four can be mustered it will raise Potter’s points-per-game above that of Lopetegui. I suppose that would be progress of sorts!

The opening gambit in the annual player clear out was revealed a few days back with the announcement that Aaron Cresswell, Vladimir Coufal, Lukasz Fabianski, and Danny Ings would be leaving the London Stadium in the summer. The signing of Ings was a monumental blunder for both club and player. Another casualty of not bothering to sign a striker that suits your style of play. While I find it hard to associate millionaire footballers with the concept of being great servants, the other three have each had distinguished careers at the club. Cresswell’s 11 years at West Ham (360+ games, 11 goals) deserve our recognition and the opportunity for his greatest send-off since that night in Frankfurt; Coufal will not now get the chance to equal Tomas Repka’s modern record of the most games played by an outfield player without scoring; and Fab will fall eight short of 100 career Premier League clean sheets (43 at West Ham). We wish them well. COYI!