Category: Report

Dear West Ham, True Love: On the Eighth Day of Christmas, Please Send One Striker Striking

The halfway stage of the season is approaching, the transfer window will soon be open, and West Ham are slipping further behind in the relegation stakes. A spirited performance against Aston Villa did little to cheer things up.

Under different circumstances, the gift of eight maids-a-milking might make a reasonable enough gift for the eighth day of Christmas. But when it coincides with the opening of the transfer window – and your team is in danger of becoming stranded in the relegation places – far more pressing offering spring to mind than the oversupply of dairy produce.

In fact, I’d go even further to say I’m equally ambivalent about pipers piping and drummers drummingas well. Although lords-a-leaping could coe in very useful for defending set pieces.

With the transfer window a matter of weeks away, the imperative is not just to act but to act as fast as possible. Ideally, just as Big Ben has completed its chimes and before the strains of Auld Lang Syne have faded away our first new signings would be first footing into the London Stadium armed with whisky, shortbread and the gurantee of a dozen goals.

For me, striker and attacking midfielder are the priorities although further central defensive reinforcements wouldn’t be out of the question. But that wish list doesn’t include the recently linked Josh Sargeant and Adama Traore, neither of who offer an upgrade on what we currently have. The clock is ticking and if ever there was a time to pull a rabbit out of the hat, it is now.

Of course, decisiveness in the transfer market is hardly hard-wired into the club’s DNA. Should past performance be anything to go by, then David Sullivan will spend the entire window haggling, stalling, hindering, penny-pinching and frustrating right until the very last minute. By which time it could all be too late.

It has to be said that West Ham’s performance against Aston Villa was one of the better efforts of their season. It was an entertaining and even game and there could have been few arguments if the Hammers had earned at least a point, if not all three. But that is three games in the last five now where winning positions have been lost or surrendered. Where a potentially table climbing nine precious points was withered away to two.

It’s not hard to detect clear signs of improvement since Nuno’s arrival at the club, but then that is a particularly low bar. Graham Potter’s idea of being competitive was to only lose matches by a single goal while offering next to nothing by way of offensive threat. Nuno’s Hammers play with greater purpose and spirit and have been able compete on the pitch for lengthy periods. The weakness is not having a strong enough bench to press home advantages or see games out as necessary – although I regards part of this shortcoming as self-inflicted by Nuno himself.

This week’s selection wheel of fortune sprang just the one surprise. The decision to relegate Callum Wilson to the bench and start without a recognised striker. As ever, the bench was top heavy with defensive reinforcements and lacked realistic game changing resources.

It couldn’t have been a brighter, more profitable start for West Ham. An uncharacteristic high press, a defensive lapse by Villa and Mateus Fernandes broke free to curl home his first Hammer’s goal with less than 30 seconds on the clock. So, just 89½ minutes plus stoppage time to hold on then.

But rather than a full-scale retreat, the game remained a remarkably open, end-to-end affair. Villa equalised through an unfortunate Dinos Mavropanos own goal after Watkins had failed to get his head to the ball, only for West Ham to regain the lead before half time thanks to Jarrod Bowen’s quick reactions.

However, it was not to be a famous victory over the Premier League’s form team, and two goals from the always impressive Rogers sealed the deal for the visitors. The first stemming from a typical cheap giveaway by Lucas Paqueta and the second when Rogers was allowed far too much space in the centre of the pitch to strike at goal.

While it’s always tempting to pin each goal conceded on an individual player, I believe there are systemic issues with the way that West Ham are set up that leaves them exposed.

The first is the constant switch between a back four and back three/ five which appears to confuse role of the full/ wing backs. In a four, they continue to get forward but, in doing so, tend to neglect the defensive duties that the formation demands. AWB, especially, is slow (almost unwilling) to get back into position when a forward run is thwarted. I’m all for tactical flexibility but is it too much too soon given the early days of the coach/ player relationships. Likewise, the weekly rotation of playing with or without a main striker. In the circumstances, would not finding a plan and sticking to it be more productive? Leave the more subtle and intricate changes for a pre-season.

The second is a structural issue that is common to all low-block fundamentalists when they attempt to dip their toes into more adventurous waters. If you allow or encourage your midfield players to get further forward, then it is madness to stick with such a deep defensive line. It creates way too much space between the lines for opponents to exploit. As Rogers did with ease for the winner.

I do like the look of the Fernandes, Freddie Potts, Soungoutou Magassa midfield partnership and hope Nuno doesn’t think it needs tinkering with. I can only see it getting better with the passage of time. The disappointments for me from yesterday, however, were Paqueta and Crysencio Summerville.

Although Paqueta produced a couple of delightful passes his overall contribution was again very poor. And fewer and fewer referees are now falling for his naïve attempts to buy a foul whenever he finds himself boxed in by the touchline.

Summerville, on the other hand, gives the outward impression of being an exciting crowd-pleasing player. Bbut his final delivery is about as reliable as a hands-free soap dispenser. I’ve never known a player choosing to run so frequently with the ball without ever having it under control. Being such a lightweight player, it does raise concerns as to his effectiveness at the top level.

Nuno was very slow to make any substitutions as legs started to tire. Why leave the introduction of Callum Wilson so long when there was an obvious opportunity to win the game with 20 to 25 minutes remaining? The triple substitution with two minutes to go was simply nonsensical. While throwing Tomas Soucek into the mix could be seen as a belated gamble to grab a late leveller, it was never likley to work without a functioning midfield to move the ball forward.

West Ham’s next outing is the traditional mauling at the hands of Manchester City next Saturday. Following that come four winnable games. At home to Fulham and Brighton (the season’s halfway point), then away at Wolves and home to Forest. We might know by then whether this is going to be an Avram Grant season or an Alan Curbishley great escape one.

Can Sunday’s spirited performance be the springboard for greater things. Just as the 4-3 home defeat by Tottenham did in 2006/7. Is Carlos Tevez still available? COYI!  

Nuno’s Eggs, VAR’s Seaside Madness and Passing Through The Hoops To FA Cup Glory

The idiom of the curate’s egg is used to describe something that is good in parts. And that’s exactly how Nuno Espirito Santo’s time at West Ham can best be summed after ten games in charge. More sunny side up, and less last minute scrambles, please.

Ten points from ten games may be on the cusp of survival form but is not a good enough return to compensate for the terrible start engineered by Graham Potter. Interestingly, Potter’s overall record at the Hammers was also exactly a point per game – 23 from 23. So, plenty of room for improvement.

While Nuno might be perfectly happy to draw his way to safety it is not what is needed. Reaching the promised land of 40 points – which may or may not be enough this season in an unusually compressed Premier League table – demands 27 points from the remaining 23 games. My guess is that at least seven wins are needed somehow. By no means impossible, but better than what has gone before.

There are obvious signs of improvements under Nuno compared to the darkest days of Potter and Lopetegui. And to some extent he has been working in recovery mode from the hopelessness of the previous incumbents. The players now appear to understand what they are supposed to be doing (especially when defending set pieces), team spirit and resilience have returned to acceptable levels, youth is being given a chance, and individual players (Alphonse Areola, Jean-Clair Todibo and Dinos Mavropanos in particular) have demonstrated considerable improvement in both performance and attitude.

On the flip side, there are the weird team selections, dodgy substitutions and a flight towards safety in the closing stages of games which have already sacrificed a handful of winnable and much needed points. There is a supreme paradox that a coach who favours hyper-caution in game management is prepared to make untried and speculative tactical gambles by way of preparation.

It could equally be argued that the club is pretty much back where it left off with the Moyesiah. A predilection for low block, low possession, counter-attacking football and an over-reliance on Jarrod Bowen for goals.

True to form, Nuno sprang a curate’s egg selection surprise when the team sheets were handed in on Sunday. On the plus side, it was a welcome return for injury prone Crysencio Summerville in attack. But against that was another experiment with three central defenders, and the baffling inclusion of Guido Rodriguez in front of them.

Freddie Potts and Soungoutou Magassa were relegated to the bench while George Earthy, Mohamadou Kanté and Callum Marshall – all on the bench at Old Trafford- were excluded from the matchday squad completely.

In fairness, Rodriguez did what was asked of him. But his inclusion was still an odd decision where better, more flexible, options were available. The modern coaching fraternity are obsessed with the need for squad rotation once the games come around “thick and fast’” – whether it is needed or not. A Potts/ Magassa job share would have worked equally well defensively and with the aded bonus of greater energy going forward.

Nuno’s intent to contain and frustrate Brighton worked just as planned for long periods of the match. Hürzeler’s Seagulls tend more towards Potter’s version than the more adventurous, higher risk De Zerbi incarnation. Faced with numbers and a compact Hammer’s defensive shape they were unable to trouble Areola in the West Ham goal until their closing minutes assault.

The best chance of a stodgy first half fell to Summerville but his shot was easily saved. For all the admirable pace and movement, his decision making and end-product need a radical improvement at this level. Difficult to believe from his deer-in-the-headlights attempts at goal that he once racked up 21 goals in a season for Leeds. He would later be denied by an excellent stop from the Brighton keeper.

West Ham took the lead moments after the introduction of Callum Wilson. A hopeful clearance by Kilman, a mistake in the Brighton defence and Wilson feeding Bowen who scored with a fine hooked shot from the tightest of angles. Could they hold on or even score another?

While a low-block isn’t directly equivalent to parking the bus, that is what the Hammer’s strategy became with each successive substitution. With no pace and no-one able to carry the ball forward the last 15 minutes became a game of attack versus defence, just as it had against Bournemouth. The biggest mistake of all was to withdraw Mateus Fernandes. With him went the important protection in front of the back line. Suddenly, it was the hosts winning all the 50-50 challenges.

When the whole defensive line drops so deep and invites constant pressure holding out becomes a lottery. The reason most managers don’t deploy a 9-0-1 formation. All it needs is a lucky bounce or wicked deflection. Or in this case, the incompetence of VAR.

VAR should only have one job. To pick up the infringements that the referee misses in the hurly burly of on-field action. Of course, this isn’t what the jokers at PGMOL have done. Instead, they have rewritten all sorts of rules to suit the technology available. And in doing so, they have either failed to think them through – requiring constant revision and re-interpretation. Or introduced fixes to problems that hadn’t existed previously.

How could anyone (and I’m looking at you VAR-meister, Tony Harrington) look at multiple replays from multiple angles and fail to see the dangerous assault on Dinos’ head and/ or conclude that the handball should not be penalised. Some made-up nonsense about phases of play which meant that had Areola let the original shot in, it would have been disallowed. But when the same player scores three seconds later it was OK.

The ever-changing interpretation of the rules are a farce. Daft decisions being imposed by daft people. All totally subjective. And the reason why you can always find a retired man in black to support whatever opinion you fancy in the media.

In all the excitement, there was still a chance for Dinos to miss a gilt-edged opportunity to bag a winner from the final corner of the match. It is now two years since a central defender scored for West Ham (Dinos at Arsenal) which in the age of set piece specialists is another sad Hammer’s statistic. Like not having a decent corner taker or anyone capable of launching a threatening throw-in into the box.

It was nice to see Ezra Mayers, another academy lad, make his Premier League debut. Too little time to make any impression but we may be seeing more of him once the AFCON players depart.

***

Last night’s FA Cup draw was kinder to West Ham than in previous years when Joe Cole presented them with a 3rd round home tie against QPR. The Hoops were 5th round opponents at Upton Park enroute to the Hammer’s 1975 Final win. However, we have faced them three times in the competition since then and lost on each occasion.

A nice little cup run would be a welcome relief after a dismal two years for West Ham supporters. So, let’s hope that Nuno treats it with the respect it deserves.

At the weekend, West Ham entertain Aston Villa, the Premier League’s current form team. They have a Europa League game in Switzerland on Thursday night, so any flight delays or travel problems will be greatly appreciated. COYI!    

Nuno’s Caution, Obliging Hosts and A Sad Farewell to King Billy Bonds MBE

Six foot two, eyes of blue, Billy Bonds is after you, na na na na na na na na na! An awful game of football was an ill-fitting tribute to this exceptional club legend.

Most of us can easily reel off our list of favourite ever games. Nights of thrilling football, electric atmospheres and tribal passions often elevated by uncertainty and jeopardy. Where the buzz of adrenaline, exhilaration and emotion kicked in from having witnessed something truly special. West Ham versus Liverpool was not one of those games.

In fact, it was an awful spectacle from beginning to end. Unfit to be classsed as an elite sporting contest in the supposed greatest league in the world. And no fit way to honour the memory of a sadly departed West Ham legend. It was drab, dreary, uneventful and without even a hint of entertainment. An afternoon to forget. To be archived immediately by the brain and filed away in its junk folder.

Unfortunately, for West Ham fans such afternoons and evenings are increasingly becoming the norm. The rot set in back in January 2024. The season had started well enough despite the loss of Declan Rice with a momentum carried over from the Conference League success. But as winter set in, it started to run out of steam. Reinforcements were badly needed. A squad refresh for the busy schedule of domestic and European football to come. But true to form, the club did nothing. Bad decisions which have been coming home to roost ever since.

In the intervening period, league performances have plummeted faster than a politician’s approval rating. The return from the past 70 matches is just 73 points and a meagre 18 wins – 9 in 36 home games and 9 in 34 away games. How are supporters meant to be motivated when a visit to the London Stadium offers only a 25% chance of success? And where successive managerial emphasis on caution at the expense of entertainment (remember that?) has served up an uninspiring average of little over one West Ham goal per game.

Pundits frequently talk about managers of ‘lesser’ clubs needing to be pragmatic. As if that excuses or is equivalent to the need for overzealous timidity. It is faulty reasoning. Being pragmatic is about making optimum use of the resources available in all areas of the pitch. Playing to your strengths. Managers command large salaries for their apparent expertise in adapting tactics and selections to suit individual sets of circumstances. Parking as many players behind the ball as possible in every game, regardless of opposition or situation does not represent pragmatism. It reflects a lack of imagination.

Here we were then, facing a hesitant Liverpool side. With a manager under pressure and a team low on confidence, riddled with defensive uncertainty following a long winless run of results. How best then to capitalise on these anxieties? Nuno’s answer was to act as the most obliging of hosts. Providing Liverpool the opportunity to play themselves back into form. Sit deep, abandon attacking ambition and allow a suspect defence the easiest afternoon they will have all season (or at least until the return fixture at Anfield!)

To be fair, there were few complaints about the starting eleven that Nuno had selected. The makeup of the bench was another matter though. Why does he persist with all three of Tomas Soucek, Guido Rodriguez and Andy Irving in the matchday squad? Under what possible scenario would they be brought into the action together? Their presence only serves to signal the tone of the manager’s intentions while severely restricting the attacking options available for those (frequent) occasions where you go a goal down. Surely, George Earthy and Callum Marshall would offer more balance and greater variety from the bench.

If the starting eleven looked acceptable on paper, it was substandard in its application. The pitiful levels of pressure applied to a wounded opponent were a shocking disappointment. We can’t be certain whether this is team orders or down to individual players but, as ever, the Hammers long-running striker predicament was compounded by an inability or reluctance to get sufficient bodies into the penalty area in support.

West Ham’s limitations with on-field leadership was brought into sharp focus during the Lucas Paqueta debacle. It was obvious that the Brazilian had completely lost control of his mind and yet none of his colleagues made a serious attempt to intervene and calm the situation down. Skipper Jarrod Bowen, standing a matter of yards away, was particularly culpable in acting as a disinterested bystander.

Many have commented on Bowen’s drop in form in recent weeks. He was certainly ineffective on Sunday (apart from the one late shot which was as close to a shot on target as we got) but much of this may be down to opponents recognising he is the Hammer’s only significant threat – and doubling up his marking as a result. Essentially, stop Bowen and you stop West Ham.

***

The sad backdrop to Sunday’s game was the breaking news that Billy Bonds MBE had died. By any metric Bonzo was one of the greatest players to ever wear the claret and blue. A total of 799 appearances across 20 seasons in three different decades. The scorer of 61 goals and an inspirational captain who twice lifted the FA Cup.

His exploits and longevity had made him a hero to many generations of West Ham fans. For some reason, my 13-year-old paper boy self can quite clearly recall when I first learnt of his signing. The first stop on my round was two blocks of flats, and I would stop for a while to scan through the back pages for the latest sports news and gossip – or what passed for it back then. I must admit I had never heard of Billy Bonds at the time, but a new young full back sounded like it would be an exciting prospect.

Billy made his debut in the opening game of the 1967/68 season – a home defeat by Sheffield Wednesday – alongside fellow new signings Bobby Ferguson (from Kilmarnock) and John Cushley (from Celtic). Little did we know what impression he would make at the club.

There are just too many superlatives that can be applied to Billy Bonds – tough, wholehearted, dedicated, commanding, courageous, composed, loyal, tenacious, tireless, energetic and so on and so on. He was the embodiment of effort and dedication in a football shirt. A versatile footballer who excelled in every position he played in – rampaging full back, competitive midfielder, or unyielding central defender. A real West Ham warrior (with matching hair and beard) who competed hard and fair, who played on through the knocks, who would fight for every ball but always within the spirit of the game. There was no underhand niggling, malice or gamesmanship in Billy’s locker.

Having first experienced the West Ham of Moore, Hurst, and Peters, Billy was not my first Hammer’s hero, but he stands proudly on the podium with the best. Although the term is often thrown around loosely these days, Bonzo was a true club legend.

***

Yet another defeat has left West Ham in a precarious position towards the foot of the Premier League table. It’s shaping up as a four or five horse race for the three relegation places. Any three from Wolves, Burnley, Leeds, West Ham and possibly Forest for the drop. Three of the five having already played their joker by sacking at least one manager.

Points are badly needed from the two tricky away fixtures at Old Trafford and the Amex Stadium scheduled over the following five days. But it is difficult to see where they might come from. After that Malick Diouf and AWB will be off to AFCON 2025. Desperate times. COYI!

Nuno And A Classic Tale Of Game Mismanagement: West Ham Draw At Bournemouth

One point is snatched from the jaws of three as West Ham invite Bournemouth to an uncontested 45-minute second half shootout at the Vitality Stadium.

On the face of it, returning from the Vitality Stadium with one point in the bag could be seen as a job well done. Bournemouth are no mugs and many of us would have taken the draw prior to kick-off. And seven points from the last three games is not to be sniffed at. So, why so much post-match negativity among supporters? The simple answer: because it felt very much like two points thrown away rather than one earned.  

Nuno had received plenty of media plaudits following the two consecutive home victories against Newcastle and Burnley. They were much needed wins, the league table looked less desperate and there was a sense he may have “turned things around”. Yet, I can’t shake the doubts from my mind that he was as much the architect of our dire situation – from his bewildering selections and tactics against Brentford and Leeds – as he was our saviour. A sleight of hand like the firefighting arsonist who first sets the blaze and later returns as the hero to put it out.

It’s now eight points from seven games for Nuno. An improvement over the hapless Graham Potter but still well within the realms of disappointment. The next seven games take us through to the end of the year; the halfway stage of the season and the opening of the transfer window. Following the first three of those games, players will depart for AFCON 2025 – and may potentially be missing until the last week of January. It’s a tough run of fixtures during which the Hammers cannot afford to lose touch with our fellow stragglers. A point per game is a minimum return.

Having carved out the two home wins with a solid, dependable and unspectacular 4-3-3, Nuno elected to exercise his tactical chops with a return to a three-man central defence. What might have looked liked a 3-4-3 from the safety of the white board turned into a uninspiring 5-4-1 for most of the game. The driver for change was either to compensate for the absence of Lucas Paqueta, to counter the Cherry’s swift attacking threat, or just for the hell of it. Whatever way, it served to set the tone of the afternoon. The Hammers would be competing as underdogs.

How we have arrived at a situation where Bournemouth (£169 m in revenues and average attendance 11,200) have superior resources and depth to their squad than West Ham (£268 m in revenues and average attendance 62,400) is staggering. But we know the answer, don’t we? It is the direct consequence of the fetid band of grifters, chancers and charlatans in the boardroom responsible for sullying the great name of West Ham United for the past 15 years. As with Robin Banks, the detective, or Clara Knet, the musician, we can see nominative determinism at work here. Sully – verb: to damage, soil, or tarnish a reputation. BS Out!

As for Bournemouth, it is a very well-run club. They ditched a safety-first coach to appoint a progressive, visionary coach in Iraola. They have coped with (and profited from) the lucrative sales of Zabarnyi, Huijsen, Kerkez, Ouattara, and Solanke. And yet still have a more valuable squad than West Ham according to Transfermkt.

Reaching half-time two goals up came as a huge surprise. The lead courtesy of two expertly taken Callum Wilson goals rather than any tactical superiority displayed by the Hammers. How refreshing to have a main striker who understands the role with an opportunistic eye for goal. A great shame he’s not half a dozen years younger.

Apart from the goals, West Ham had been happy to surrender possession for most of the half. But in doing so, managed to limit the Bournemouth threat to a handful of half chances. Aside from a couple of dangerous Malick Diouf crosses, the wing backs rarely left their own half. Both Jarrod Bowen and Luis Guilherme looked uncertain in their narrow roles and too often they occupied the space the wing backs were meant to run into. As a front three, they were never close enough to operate as a functioning unit. And there were never enough attacking bodies in the box at any one time.

Still, it was a nice position to be in at the break. A third win on the bounce was certainly not out of the question. Until everything started to go wrong.

First change (46 minutes): KWP for Guilherme. There was some debate whether this was a tactical switch or due to injury. Introducing KWP had worked well in previous games as a wide midfielder in front of a back four. He appeared to have little idea what to do or what was expected of him as a theroretical part of a front three. Either George Earthy or Soungoutou Magassa would have made more sense as Guilherme replacements.

Second change (52 minutes): Tomas Soucek for Wilson. This was wrong for two reasons. One, it was far too early to take off Wilson who had showed no signs of tiredness – the look on his face said it all. And two, Soucek was the wrong replacement. Deploying him as the main striker was laughable. Iraola had withdrawn one of his central defenders at the break and this change played straight into his hands. The switch should have been delayed for at least another 15 minutes with either a straight Niclas Fullkrug swap or moving Bowen into the centre and introducing Magassa or Earthy behind.

Third change (74 minutes): Fullkrug for Fernandes. A contender for the Most Stupid Substitution of The Month award. Leaving aside the fine individual exploits of Wilson and Alphonse Areola, Fernandes was the standout West Ham performer again. Had Brian Clough been in the dugout he would have hooked Soucek straight off again, having seen how far off the pace he is now in open play. But no, Nuno took off the one player capable of putting in a tackle and holding on to the ball. As it was, Fullkrug was hardly involved – either isolated or lazy depending on your point of view – and Fernandes’ absence opened gaping holes in the midfield for Bournemouth to breeze through.

It beggars belief that any professional manager or coach would come up with Nuno’s cunning five part plan to defend a lead: abandon all attacking intent, remove any outlet for retaining possession, defend as deep as humanly possible, resort to punted upfield clearances to no-one in particular, and invite wave after wave on attacks on their own goal. Madness, surely! It was a basement level of cowardness and caution that would leave even the Moyesiah reeling with embarrassment. And remember, these were tactics developed in the full knowledge that the club has a collection of the flakiest defenders in living memory.

There is often a debate as to whether the on-field approach is down to the players or the tactical instructions prescribed by the coach. All I can say is that at no time did I see Nuno imploring his team to push up or demanding that a higher defensive line be adopted. I can only assume he thought it made sense.

Every watching West Ham supporter would have been fully aware it was only a matter of time before Bournemouth started scoring. It was good fortune that they ran out of time after drawing level. There could have been little argument if they had racked up another two or three goals.

At the final whistle, the disappointment was as much about the manner as the fact of losing a two-goal lead. One second half goal attempt (in the 51st minute) and 22% possession after the break says it all. Only eight touches in the opposition box all game and no saves for their keeper to make illustrate the luckiest of snatched points, not a hard-fought draw.

The Hammers ended the weekend just outside the relegation places on goal difference. It’s going to a much tougher struggle at the bottom of the league this year. Although two of the promoted clubs currently sit below us, they are stronger sides than we saw promoted the season before. Clubs have learned that survival chances improve immensely when you have physically imposing players scatered around the team. In the modern game it is almost a pre-requisite for every player to be quick, athletic and strong. A lesson that a succession of West Ham managers have been slow to learn.

A shrewd transfer window in January is now essential for survival. And then I read of links to Adama Traore. It’s enough to tear out the few remaining hairs on my head. COYI!

Nuno Re-Discovers His Selection Mojo As West Ham Come Together For A Rare London Stadium Victory

Now you gotta believe us, we’re gonna finish seventeenth! A fresh outbreak of optimism resonates around the London Stadium as the Hammers see off the disappointing challenge of Newcastle United.

Well, that went better than expected, didn’t it?

When I first learned yesterday’s match was scheduled for a Sunday afternoon, I had hoped it was because Newcastle would be returning from a gruelling trek to the easternmost reaches of Kazakhstan for a midweek Champions League fixture. Sadly, that was not the case. All they had needed to contend with was an EFL cup-tie with Tottenham in their latest Spursy iteration.

With West Ham having recorded just three home wins in the previous 12 months – and having lost all four at the London Stadium this season – it promised to be a tough afternoon at the London Stadium.

The good news was that Nuno Espirito Santo had kept away from any mind-bending psychoactive substances before making this week’s team selection. Delusions of left-field tactical brilliance were abandoned, and sanity was restored to the tactics board. A few personnel changes were in place but it was largely back to the basics that had promised much at Everton.

Despite having the strongest possible eleven on the pitch, the early omens were not good. No sooner had Jarrod Bowen’s fine 4th minute shot cannoned off the upright than the Hammers once again found themselves a goal down. Max Kilman stranded up-field, the defence stretched and Malick Diouf allowing Murphy too much room to rifle home. It was not the start we were hoping for.

In his excellent match preview, Richard likened West Ham’s season to a clapped-out Vauxhall Astra, coughing and spluttering its way along the motorway (as a one-time Astra owner, I was rather perturbed by his choice of model – just don’t mention his Singer Chamois!) Would this early reverse become another hard shoulder to cry on? Was yet another collapse on the cards? How the Hammers reacted might prove a pivotal test of character.

To their credit, the team reacted magnificently. Heads didn’t drop and confidence slowly grew. Who could have predicted that picking pacier players and deploying them in their correct positions would produce much-improved performances? Intensity, energy and desire replacing hesitancy, confusion and negativity. To return to the car analogy: pistons had been realigned, timing corrected, handling improved and the windscreen wipers no longer came on when indicating to turn right.

There were fine performances all over the pitch. Alphonse Areola assertive in his penalty area. The defence compact and solid with the usual gaping midfield hole in front of it removed – we might also doff our caps to Nuno for having the idea of the centre-backs swapping sides. The midfield was energetic, organised and committed. Freddie Potts rightly received the plaudits for the effective simplicity of his game, and the maturity of his first Premier League start, but Mateus Fernandes was also excellent – from crunching tackles to astute passing. And Lucas Paqueta has never played a better ninety minutes for West Ham, despite the frequent falling over being increasingly ignored by referees.

The front three demonstrated a refreshing degree of movement rarely seen at the London Stadium. Bowen and Crysencio Summerville were hungry, available and prepared to carry the ball forward, while Callum Wilson operated as a centre forward should in such a system. Occupying defenders and creating space as the focal point for attacks.

With Wilson unlikely to last the whole game, it was disappointing not to have a backup striker on the bench. The implication is that Nuno doesn’t fancy Callum Marshall. But was it really necessary for Tomas Soucek, Soungoutou Magassa, Andy Irving and Guido Rodriguez to take up four of the allocated spaces?

While the ends may have justified the means, Nuno’s substitutions had introduced an overdose of anxiety into the closing stages. The Hammers finishing the game with three full backs and three central defenders and most of the pace and potential out-balls withdrawn. Hopefully, this was a ‘needs must’ strategy rather than a sign of things to come.

We must say a few words about Big Tom as his half-hour supporting role was Soucek in a condensed nutshell. Getting a boot in the chest at one end when diving in where others fear to head. Then popping up at the other to bundle home the goal that settled our nerves. And in between? About as effective as one of those inflatable tube men you see outside car dealerships.

At face value, it is difficult to reconcile how a team can apparently transform from being a lazy bunch of mercenaries who simply don’t care one week, to becoming a committed, hard-working, cohesive unit the next. My personal view is that it comes down to belief in what you are being asked or instructed to do. Belief underpins individual performance, team dynamic and tactical execution. If you don’t have it, and the margins are paper thin in elite level sport, then your opponent will exploit it. Without belief you will not recover from setbacks like yesterday’s early goal.

So, no more square pegs and round holes and we might start to see upward momentum. And that should lead to fewer taunts about laziness and not caring. The catch though is the lack of quality in depth to cope with injuries and suspensions. We have a mid-table first eleven but a bottom six squad.   

It wouldn’t be a Premier League math without a sizeable proportion of the afternoon being taken up by extended VAR reviews. It is difficult to argue with the toenail precision that is now applied as the letter of offside calls rather than to the law’s original spirit. The penalty review, however, was far more perplexing.

The rationale for reversing the decision was based solely on the defender touching the ball before Bowen got to it. That he crashed recklessly into Bowen’s side at the same time apparently having no bearing on events. In any other European league, it is a definite penalty. Even if we choose to interpret the laws differently in England (let’s take back control) then why was the same criteria not applied to an identical incident when Potts was penalised for a tackle a matter of minutes later?

One of the money-making developments that I truly dislike in the modern game is the prevalence of change strips. It’s not a proper Barcodes team if they’re not wearing traditional black and white stripes. Taking the field decked out in Al-Shearwah Saudi Arabian green just isn’t right. According to AI, very few football teams wear green because it clashes with the grass. Sounds improbable but perhaps explains why Newcastle were so poor?    

The visitors fearsome and expensively assembled attacking threat never materialised. After the opening goal went in they posed few problems. Woltemade has earned a big reputation but on the day looked as clueless as the succession of failed strikers who have turned out for the Hammers over the years. And as Prince Vultan once asked: “Gordon’s Alive?” Even the Hammer’s long-running nemesis Harvey Barnes failed to make even the slightest impression.

I sense Eddie Howe has plateaued at Newcastle and will soon be known as Eddie Who. My two shillings has already been staked on Andoni Iraola becoming the Magpie’s boss by the start of next season.

Watching Howe complain about West Ham adopting his patented time-wasting tactics was most amusing. The cynicism has the hallmarks of a Nuno innovation who employed it routinely at Forest last season. The mysterious case of a goalkeeper with cramp in both legs is a first and was comical in the extreme. I wish Alphonse a speedy recovery.

A great win. Time now to build on the momentum. COYI!

A West Ham Winter of Discontent, Nuno Espirito’s Panto and Pussies in Boots

It’s more of the same for West Ham as they lose again at Leeds. Wacky team selections, soft goals conceded, a lack of heart, and the worst start to a season for 52 years.

The clocks have changed, the nights are drawing in, and the biting winds of winter whistle hauntingly around the vast, hollow, soulless stadium. Where the air had once been thick with excitement, noise and expectation there is now only silence, stillness and disappointment.

Discarded fast food containers dance aimlessly – chaotically – around the deserted concourse. A metaphor for the waste and negligence inflicted upon supporters for the past ten years or more. The giants of the footballing world who thrilled the crowds here with their Rabonas and Panenkas will become long forgotten memories. Replaced by the echoing shouts of Oxford United players as they fade into the night sky above the cardboard supporters sitting motionless in mothballed upper tiers.

 As a final East End ignominy. The prospect of Millwall taking the Hammers place in the Premier League.

***

There is an old joke that West Ham come down with the Christmas decorations. Should that happen again this season, we are in even more serious trouble than the meager return of 16 wins (and 66 points) from the 66 Premier League games between January 2024 and this weekend indicates.

It is, apparently, the worse start to a West Ham season since the 1973/74 season. If your memory goes back that far, the Hammers also had just four points from the opening nine games (four draws). They recorded their first win in match number 12 and were rock bottom of the table on Christmas Day. A Boxing Day win at Chelsea heralded the slightest of improvement and relegation was eventually avoided by a single point and goal difference (or was it goal average back then?) Billy Bonds was leading scorer with 13 goals, Manchester United were relegated, and West Ham went on to win the FA Cup the following year.

The farcical events that occur at West Ham can often be often painted as a pantomime. There’s Baron Hardup in the boardroom, more than our fair share of villains (Ince, Defoe, Lampard) over the years, and countless scenes of slapstick comedy defending to leave you rolling in the aisles. It is heart-warming, therefore, to learn that Nuno Espirito Panto is committed to maintaining this welcome club tradition.

“Nuno is going to use the same bonkers tactics and formation at Leeds that failed so miserably against Brentford.”

“Oh no he isn’t”

“OH YES HE DID”

“Look behind you, it’s only Wolves”

It is surely pure coincidence that three of Nuno’s clubs (past and present) are currently occupying all the three relegation places.

It is incomprehensible how someone who is paid millions to be an expert on these sorts of things could have analysed the Brentford game and concluded that what was needed was to try it again. Watch any Premier League match and all the other teams are stacked with fast, mobile, athletic players – especially in the heart of the midfield. What is our answer? Tomas Soucek and Andy Irving – with Guido Rodriguez in reserve.

For all his warrior-like commitment and occasional aerial dominance, Soucek has neither the pace, agility, control or passing ability to compete at this level. I had previously questioned why Irving hadn’t been given more opportunity. Well now he has, and unfortunately, he’s not the answer either.

As for the underlapping/ inverted full backs (call them what you will) this has proven to be as nonsensical an innovation as Lucas Paqueta as a False 9.

Based on the Everton performance, I had anticipated at least four points from the last two games. Why the need to change the setup so radically? And what a shambles to have to use most of your substitutions twice in one week simply to correct the mistakes of the original selection. Throwing away six points on the whims of smart-aleck experimentation in what should have been winnable games was the height of foolishness. Points are going to be at such a premium this season.  

One must wonder if Nuno is suffering from not having a trusted lieutenant and adviser by his side. Someone with the courage to ask the awkward question, “are you sure about this, boss?” whenever the latest tactical epiphany pops into his head. In true West Ham style, penny pinching prevented the coaching staff being included in the appointment package.

***

The attitude of the players has been rightly questioned by supporters. And from the sidelines there does appear to be an absence of fight, determination and leadership on the pitch. Heads drop far too quickly when the inevitable soft goals are conceded as they were at Leeds. What I can’t decide is whether this is down to individual character – are they ‘pussies’ who just don’t care? Or do the timid performances emanate from a lack of confidence and belief in the way they are being asked to play. We hear from the players after every defeat about “rolling up our sleeves” but will that really make an appreciable difference to performances?

The small margins involved in elite levels of sport are impossible to quantify. Any slight drop in standards, any sign of weaknessor apprehension will be ruthlessly exploited by well-prepared opponents. I watched the Sunderland win at Chelsea at the weekend, and it was an object lesson in how a team – largely assembled from the second level leagues of Europe with no player costing more than £27m – can compete with the rich clubs when they have athleticism, confidence and bravery on their side.

***

A sense of ‘resignation to our fate’ is gradually taking root in online fan discussions. Some are even ambivalent about the prospect of relegation despite the nightmare scenario that a half-empty London Stadium for the visit of Stevenage would present.   

I’ve yet to join the ‘relegation is a certainty’ camp although pinpointing three worse teams is not easy. Three from Wolves, West Ham, Nottingham Forest, Fulham, Burnley and Leeds look likley to be the probable candidates.

There is no obvious embarrassment of riches at West Ham. It is a squad assembled with no particular plan or purpose in mind. A lucky dip jigsaw where each of the pieces has been selected from a different puzzle. Centre backs chosen to play out from the back but who struggle with the basics of defending, a mishmash of full backs and wing backs, a surplus of midfield players but none capable of carrying the ball forward, wingers encouraged to pump crosses into the box without anyone in the middle to meet them. It is Nuno’s challenge to get them to fit together.

In theory it shouldn’t be impossible to find a core eleven from this highly paid bunch of internationals. One that will stick to the basics of 4-3-3 and can easily hold its own against the majority of lower table opposition. Don’t try anything daft and place the focus on the younger, fitter, pacier members of the squad. The immediate objective is to not lose touch by the opening of the January transfer window. Then be prepared to get business done quickly. At long last make a belated attempt to address the obvious striker and centre back deficiencies.

This may well be a pipe dream given previous experience with transfer windows. But surely even our board are not stupid enough to risk their asset value being cut in half by dropping into the Championship. In fact, the current precarious predicament may already have slashed the club’s market valuation. If there were hopes of a quick sale by the current owners these feel increasingly unlikely.

To what extent the club will be able to spend in January – either from a cash flow or PSR perspective – will be dependent on raising additional funds from player sales. Unfortunately, years of poor recruitment makes the list of saleable assets a very short one. It may entail unpalatable sacrifices. The 2025 accounts should be published before the window opens and the exact size of the hole the club is in will be revealed. What a mess! COYI!

Hammers Are Bee-witched, Bothered and Bee-wildered in London Stadium Buzz Kill

Nuno’s winless run continues at West Ham as the Hammers pass on the opportunity to break their London Stadium losing streak. They remain forlornly anchored in the relegation places with the leagues worst goal difference.

The question has to be asked. What in the name of the holy spirit was Nuno thinking last night? I’d expected to see the back of the not as clever as he thinks he is school of coaching once Graham Potter departed. But here we are again – baffling team selections, incomprehensible formations, snail-paced midfielders, bizarre substitutions, and random square pegs failing to fit into assorted round holes. Two weeks on the training ground and this is what they come up with.

I suppose it’s just possible that underlapping full-backs and false 9’s can be useful tactical options in the cerebral coach’s toolkit. But relegation dogfights are not the right time and place for overthought grandiose experiments. Let’s get back to basics and keeping it simple in a way that everyone understands. Stick to the plan. Anticipate, don’t improvise. Trust no one. Never yield an advantage. Fight only the battle you’re paid to fight.

If I was of a cynical disposition, I might recognise a repeating trend emerging here. A new boss has an encouraging start in a game he had little chance to prepare for, and then everything goes downhill afterwards. Recency bias always plays a part when making comparisons, but a very long memory is needed to remember a worse West Ham performance than what was served up yesterday. The only positive was that the deficit could have been far, far worse. And this against a team who had lost their manager and main strikers during the summer and were forecast to struggle under the fledgling leadership of a former set-piece coach. The difference in class and preparation was frightening.

It is, of course, still early days from Nuno. But he screwed up massively last night. It should have been the winnable game that finally put an end to a woeful run at the London Stadium. Four straight home defeats at the start of the season setting a new all-time record for the club. The anticipated breath of fresh air has yet to make any difference to the stench of decay and despair haunting the club for two years or more. Nuno must learn quickly from his mistakes to find a system (hopefully a traditional 4-3-) that adequately aligns with the strengths of those at his disposal. The alternative is remaining rooted in the relegation places and losing touch with those immediately above us. No surprise that the betting markets see West Ham as one of the firm favourites for the drop.

You don’t need to have watched too many recent West Ham games to realise that Lucas Paqueta is a waste of time and space as a False 9. That Tomas Soucek is far too slow and cumbersome to operate in the frenetic heart of midfield. Or that Max Kilman and Jean-Clair Todibo lack the strength, determination and presence to form an effective central defensive partnership – especially against big, powerful opponents. Does something happen on the training ground that convinces the coaching staff differently?

In many ways the dreadful team selection was compounded by strange half-time substitutions. Being forced to make three changes at the interval is a clear admission that you got the original selection wrong. But why not give the full backs an opportunity to switch to their preferred sides, at least for 15 minutes or so? And why replace Mateus Fernandes rather than Soucek or Andy Irving? Although bringing on Dinos Mavropanos did kind of make sense – the once weakest link has (by default rather than excellence) suddenly become the most effective choice in central defence – did it really require a change of shape to accompany it?

While past goal scoring exploits can make a case for Soucek being included in the matchday squad, no such reasoning can be applied to Guido Rodriguez. There are far better, younger and agile alternatives available. That he replaced Soucek at the time when a goal was desperately needed was close to perverse.

The greatest puzzle, however, surrounds Nuno’s refusal to use Callum Wilson. In my mind, Wilson should have been the obvious choice to start the game as the club’s only senior striker. Failing that he should have been first in the frame as a half-time replacement; not left to stew on the bench. Is there something personal going on here? Or is it a cost saving measure related to his pay as you play contract? He may be only one fall, stretch or tackle away from a long term injury layoff but he is easily the best striking option at the club.

It is telling that having previously lost Toney, Mbeumo and Wissa, Brentford are still able to field a functioning striker in the shape of Igor Thiago. Why then have West Ham struggled to fill that position since forever? I heard at the weekend that after Nottingham Forest striker, Taiwo Awoniyi, was badly injured last season, he was placed in an induced coma for treatment. I wondered if the same had been happening in the Rush Green treatment room, only they forget to wake them up again afterwards.     

We now move on to another relegation six pointer at Elland Road on Friday night. A massive change of approach and attitude will be needed to come away with a point or more at one of the league’s most intimidating venues. Over to you, Nuno. COYI!

West Ham Monday Briefing: Corner Capers, Graham’s Crackers and Board Duplicity

How much longer can West Ham’s worst ever manager hang on at the London Stadium as he masterminds a twelfth defeat in 23 games. And what to do about the Board?

Welcome to West Ham where the misery never ends. Forget about the football. Enjoy the thrills of boardroom chaos, supporter protests, creeping apathy, clueless management and a spineless squad touted as relegation certainties.

Everybody knows it is only a matter of time before Graham Potter is shown the exit door at the London Stadium. Who’s ever heard of a manager ‘turning things around’ where performances have been awful for 20 plus games over eight months, and with no obvious signs of improvement on the horizon. What tactical masterstrokes could he possibly have up his sleeve to combat threats from a physical Everton side and set-piece specialists Arsenal in the two games remaining before the next international break?

West Ham have now beenbeaten in 12 of the 23 league games under Potter’s leadership (14 from 25 when cup games are included). At 52%, his lose percentage is higher than any other of the club’s Premier League managers, including the much derided Avram Grant. Why prolong the agony any longer than necessary?

Needless to say, replacing the coach is one small part of the multiple problems facing West Ham. Akin to putting anti-itch cream on a rash. It might provide welcome temporary relief, but the underlying chronic disorder lingers below the surface. The turmoil the club finds itself in hasn’t materialised overnight. It is a cumulative decline ten or more years in the making. As the business of football has evolved elsewhere to embrace strategic thinking and professionalism, West Ham have been petrified in an amateurish world of short-term thinking and season to season existence.

The club statement issued to supporters in the hope of heading off the planned Hammers United protests is a prime example of how tone deaf those in control are. Most likely penned by Karen Brady (sorry, Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge) – with a little help from ChatGBS – it was nothing more than a vain attempt to convince what a fantastic job they had all done over the years. No acknowledgement of the many mistakes made, the promises broken or an acceptance that change is needed to restore the identity, pride and passion to this great club.

I wonder what advice would be given to any business hopefuls on The Apprentice who had refused to listen to their customers, made promises they never intended to keep, and failed to hit any targets on product or experience. Just where do I find this world-class team and world-class stadium?

The obvious frustration is that in circumstances where the board are also the principal owners it is almost impossible to sack them. A change of ownership would be a complex and long winded process. The only interim hope for change is if the minority shareholders are sufficiently alarmed to band together, sideline David Sullivan and replace Brady with someone who understands the business of football. Over to you, Mr Czech Sphinx.

As far as Saturday’s game was concerned, it was more of the same from the fragile Hammers. Far too slow in possession and increasingly vulnerable at set pieces. Every opposing manager will have a clear idea now how to overcome Potter’s West Ham. Commit players forward, press high (safe in the knowledge they are too slow on the counter), and aim to win as many corners as possible.

It was amusing to hear one pundit’s view (Tony Gale, I think) that Potter would have had a word with his players at half-time about moving the ball forward more quickly. How ironic given that fannying around in the middle third safety zone is the very essence of Potterball. It’s what he dreams of, and why he is so besotted with the sideways passing skills of James Ward-Prowse. Potter was momentarily Wenger-like in his post-match comments by claiming not to have heard 50,000 boos when withdrawing Crysencio Summerville and Mateus Fernandes and leaving his favourite firmly in place. Now that JWP’s dead ball mojo has completely deserted him, he has nothing left to offer other than being a nice guy. A montage of his free-kick goals will soon be available to view on All Our Yesterdays!

It was a surprise to no-one when the opening Palace goal resulted from one of many corner kicks. As I understand it, West Ham do not employ a dedicated set piece coach. The role was added to the responsibilities of one of the existing coaching staff in much the same way as you give the new kid in the office a high-vis jacket and hard hat and call him the fire marshal. Not that it needed a coaching badge to tell Max Kilman that his job is to win the ball at all costs, even if it means occasionally getting hurt in the process.

Whoever signed off on a £40 million fee and seven-year contract for Kilman needs their head examining. In a crowded field for worst ever value for money West Ham signing he is in with a real shout of a podium finish. I’m all for ball-playing centre-backs but not when it comes at the expense of speed, strength, determination and defensive nous.

There was a brief period in the game immediately after Jarrod Bowen’s equaliser (where would we be without him) where the Hammers asumed the ascendency. The visitors suddenly looked rattled as West Ham belatedly discovered a sense of purpose and that they were allowed to attack with pace. Kyle Walker-Peters and Malick Diouf were looking dangerous along the flanks and Lucas Paqueta had a goal-bound header cleared off the line. But once Palace regained the lead, home heads dropped, and it was game over.  

Once again, there was no evidence to support the assertion that Potter has a strong track record of developing young players. Several academy stars (Freddie Potts and Calum Marshall) who had featured heavily in pre-season were omitted completely from the matchday squad and will be questioning whether a pathway to first team action actually exists. Soungoutou Magassa and Luis Guilherme were given brief late runouts but at that stage of the game it was a thankless task. The earlier shape and discipline having transformed into a park football free-for-all by then.

There is something seriously wrong in any organisation where managers are repeatedly appointed at a time of crisis. Potter’s demise is now purely one of timing. If interested in the job, I expect Nuno Espirito Santo to be next up. Not that he is the ideal man for the task but because he is available and has shown at Wolves and Forest that he can work with what he’s got to produce a functioning team. It certainly wouldn’t be a long-term relationship as he will almost certainly fall out with Sullivan within 18 months or so. Unfortunately, the other desperate names in the frame (O’Neil, Bilic, Dyche, Benitez) all fill me with a sense of foreboding. As ever, the wild card is that Sullivan will screw up yet again by doing something truly stupid.

So there we have it. Stick with Potter and relegation is highly probable. Nuno would provide a fighting chance of mid-table obscurity even if it might not be an exciting ride. It’s about the best we can hope for until change is made at the top. If Nuno doesn’t fancy it before the international break, then find a willing caretaker to navigate the next couple of games. COYI!

West Ham Monday Briefing: Boardroom Blitz, Mads Hands, and the London Stadium Vincibles

Dysfunctional football club seeks coach to work alongside controlling and untrustworthy Chairman. Only unemployed applicants need apply.

Apart from when the actual games are being played, there is never a dull moment at the London Stadium these days. Fan protests, emergency board meetings (where even the elusive Czech sphinx put in an appearance), alleged resignations, share sales and manager speculation have all resurfaced in the wake of the Hammer’s abysmal start to the 2025/26 Premier League season.

On the sidelines, smug commentators have also returned to reprise their refrains of ‘Careful what you wish for.’; ‘The supporters are delusional.’ ‘There never was a West Ham way.’ As if expecting your team to entertain, to play on the front foot, to play with passion, to show determination, to hurt for the badge, to cause occasional upsets, to start each game with belief should be considered delusional.

Dashed expectations have been the norm at the club for most of my supporting life. The highs (and trophies) have been few and far between. Sure, success was great on the rare occasions that it turned up, but following West Ham has always been about pride, belonging, commitment and community – not adding entries to the roll of honours. Ignore those connections and the club loses the last remnants of its soul. A business run by accountants – no longer a sport – where supporters are customers and spreadsheets calculate average revenue per ticket sale.

The game has changed tremendously since the founding of the Premier League. Finances play an increasingly pivotal role on the decisions clubs must make in building squads and planning for the future. Not a problem for the rich clubs whose revenues and sponsorship deals leave room to spare, but a major headache for all the others needing to balance the book. But where we have seen clubs like Brighton, Bournemouth and Brentford successfully adapt to the economic realities through forward looking recruitment practices, the West Ham approach has been to carry on regardless. Paying inflated fees and wages for the supposed razzle dazzle signing of established players while penny pinching on the infrastructure required for scouting, data analytics, training facilities and youth development. Apart from the unexpected gift of Declan Rice from Chelsea, the academy’s output has been shocking over the last decade or so.

There is no short-term answer to this malaise under the current leadership of David Sullivan and Karen Brady. There is little chance that Sullivan will voluntarily step down and any hoped for embarrassment directed towards him from fan groups will merely bounce of his thick skin. These people have no shame. Unless the remaining shareholders group together to vote him out, he will leave only in his own time.

In the meantime, the only plausible change posible at the club is replacing the manager/ coach – the fourth in just over a year – as the short rein of the hapless Graham Potter splutters towards an inevitable conclusion.   It will be farewell to the tetchy press conferences with banal answers to inaudible questions, the head scratching team selections, the misplaced loyalty to underperforming players, the baffling substitutions, and the bewildered touchline demeanour witnessed on Saturday. He will be a disappointing footnote in West Ham’s history alongside Avram Grant.

As a typical West Ham fan, I have experienced West Ham defeats many more times than victories. After all, they have now regained leadership of the most ever Premier League defeats (462 to Everton’s 461) with a goal difference of -243. Ordinarily, I take a philosophical view to such events and they are consigned to history well before the first pint is finished or the second reading of the football results on Sports Report has aired. On Saturday, though, there was a lingering anger which simmered the entire weekend. How could such a tame surrender to an arch-rival ever be allowed to happen?

The trouble with Potter is that he thinks he is far smarter than everyone else in the room. And far smarter than he really is. He would no doubt have pasted media coverage of his brave decision to change formation and his inspired game-changing substitutions at Forest in his matchday journal. Never mind that it had been blindingly obvious to every fan that three at the back was an unmitigated disaster or that Crysencio Summerville had only been brought on to give him some minutes following a lengthy lay-off.

Nevertheless, he would see it as confirmation of his genius which would be followed up – in a home game against Spurs – by playing with no striker, putting two keepers on the bench, and expecting the slow but nice guys (Tomas Soucek and James Ward-Prowse) to dominate the midfield battleground.

Saturday’s game was relatively even in the opening exchanges. Lucas Paqueta should have done better to round off a smart West Ham move while Summerville and Malick Diouf were combining well on the left-hand side. Diouf putting several teasing crosses into the areas where lesser coaches teams might have played a striker.

As the first half progressed though, the visitors started to boss the game. Although unable to create much from open play it became apparent that set pieces were causing alarm in the Hammer’s defence. Thomas Frank had used similar tactics at Brentford on numerous occasions to unsettle previous West Ham sides.

Where Tottenham had clearly rehearsed these routines, the hosts reaction was one of panic. Mads Hermansen is too short and slight to be a dominant presence in the box and chose to stay rooted on his line. Did he know he can use his hands? The remaining defenders adopted a loose zonal marking system incapable of tracking the runs of the visitor’s. Tottenham would have taken the lead on 20 minutes had it not been for the intervention of the officials, but it felt only a matter of time before they managed to force one home.

Having survived to half-time, it was the ideal to make changes to shape and tactics. But none were forthcoming. Within 10 minutes, the game was lost. The threatened goal from a corner materialised minutes after the break, Soucek was sent off for a needless lunge, and that was it. West Ham heads dropped, Tottenham were allowed to score two more straightforward goals and the crowd went home. Thankfully, the visitors eased off after the third goal went in. The one bright spot was the introduction of Soungoutou Magassa which surely marks the end of the Soucek/ JWP axis.

The Premier League is just four games old. Three clubs (Liverpool, Chelsea and Crystal Palace) remain in contention as Invincibles and two (Aston Villa and Wolves) are potential Vincibles. Although West Ham may have escaped that ignominy by winning at Forest, the chances if a win at the London Stadium look some way off.

Potter has managed just two home wins from 11 attempts. A fortunate victory over Fulham in his first game at home and a routine win over a doomed Leicester side. In those 11 games, we have celebrated just 11 goals and endured six defeats. Time for change! Now would be perfect but a ‘three games to save your job‘ ultimatum is my predicted outcome.

Getting rid of Potter is, of course, only part of the problem. Who comes next, who is available and who is prepared to work at such a dysfunctional club are the next issues. Several hats have been thrown into the ring online with Nuno and Mourinho, as two recently unemployed managers, mentioned most often. Imagining Sullivan and Jose working together is mind-boggling and so can probably be ruled out.

The unfortunate trend, however – as with Prime Ministers – is to find someone who is even worse than what came before. Meet the new boss, worse than the old boss. In that spirit, please step forward Mr Dyche. COYI!

West Ham Briefing: Potter’s Wheel of Good Fortune, Summerville Love-In and Last-Minute Window Shopping

It was a vintage unexpected West Ham display at Nottingham Forest where only the overzealous or insane could have predicted a 3-0 demolition masterclass for Graham Potter’s men

I was so convinced that Sunday’s game was going to be another heavy defeat that I considered wearing a black armband just to watch it. How wrong I was. And it was this sudden and unexpected transition from dysphoria to euphoria over the course of ninety minutes (plus added time) that made victory so sweet and uplifting.

Having criticised Graham Potter in the past for his poor record in the West Ham hot seat, it is only fair to give him credit for his part in yesterday’s success. The decision to scrap the three centre back experiment in favour of a back four certainly had my support – and that of many others judging by online reaction. Some might say it was a case of Potter playing catch-up as many had singled out the defensive formation as the side’s greatest issue since the opening day. I have a real dislike of the back 3/5 as the default formation – it is too predictable and stifles creativity – and it is no surprise that so few coaches opt for it – only Manchester United, Wolves and Crystal Palace on a regular basis as far as I know.

Still, Potter made the right call and the relief in his demeanour palpable. In his post-match comments, Potter suggested that defeats to Sunderland and Chelsea were primarily down to individual errors. That it was results rather than performances which had been poor. For now, we must agree to disagree on that point but let’s see how events unfold after the international break. The win was copybook awayday smash and grab, and it will be fascinating to see how the approach translates at home in the London Stadium, where the coach’s record sits at just two wins from ten.

The Hammers made the usual tentative start at the City Ground with worrying early signs that they could be caught out by early through balls. But once settled, a more compact West Ham rearguard were able to limit the host’s threat to a succession of hopeful crosses. With Kyle Walker-Peters and Malick Diouf doing a great job of policing the flanks, the excellent Dinos Mavropanos and skipper Max Kilman were free to dominate the penalty area in a way that is expected of central defenders.

The brightest moment of the first half came when impressive debutant Mateus Fernandes perfectly picked out the run of Lucas Paqueta whose first time effort was tipped over by the Forest keeper.

Despite the Hammers growing confidence, caution continued to get the better of them when in possession. Reluctant to take risks, commit players to attack or move the ball forward with purpose. It took a collection of inspired substitutions to change the complexion of the game completely – Callum Wilson (64th minute), Andy Irving (75) and Crysencio Summerville (82) on for Niclas Fullkrug, James Ward-Prowse and Fernandes respectively.

The introduction of Summerville might well have been a token gesture; to give him a short run-out after such a lengthy lay-off. Yet within six minutes, his pace, energy and direct running had set up Jarrod Bowen for a delightfully instinctive opener and won the penalty (converted by Paqueta) to double the West Ham lead.

The signing of Callum Wilson had divided opinion among West Ham fans. There’s no doubt he is an intelligent and mobile footballer with a level of close control rare in a West Ham striker. His presence and movement caused immediate nuisance to the Forest defence, and he capped off a fine display with a well taken headed goal – West Ham’s third and his 89th in the Premier League.

Special mention also to Irving who, as ever, acquitted himself expertly in the few minutes he was allowed on the pitch. Quite why he has never been given the nod over several of the other underperforming midfielders is an ongoing puzzle.

And no forgetting a first clean sheet of the season. Well-done to Mads Hermansen for bouncing back from an awkward start to his West Ham career. He wasn’t unduly tested by Forest but handled everything thrown at him competently. It was noticeable how comfortable he is with the ball at his feet.

Despite Sommerville grabbing the headlines, my man of the match vote goes to Diouf. Strong in defence, quick to get forward and provider of wonderful crosses. But there were also many other fine performances including Mavropanos. Walker-Peters, Fernandes, Bowen and Paqueta. The mazy Payet-esque run by Bowen would have been a delightful goal had it not been for Wilson’s intervention.

Only time will tell whether Potter has answered his critics with this unlikley win. In many ways, it was a very un-Potter like victory based on fast breakaways/ counterattacks and defending a lead by trying to score more rather than sitting back, bringing on more defenders, and conceding space and territory. Was this by accident or design? Trying to visualise a Potter lineup that simultaneously includes Magassa, Fernandes, Paqueta and Summerville stretches adventure to mind bending proportions. Never mind, at least we now have three surprise points on the board and are only three away from a Champions League spot😉.

VAR – Ruining Football Since 2019

When West Ham scored their opener on Sunday, I was waiting for VAR to rule that the throw-in leading up to it had been awarded to the Hammers incorrectly and that the goal should be chalked off. This came on the heels of one of the most ludicrous VAR interventions ever in the Chelsea – Fulham game on Saturday when a collision in one half of the pitch was deemed to be a careless enough challenge to rule out a Fulham goal in the other. Quite why the VAR guy felt the need to get involved, why the referee went along with it and how it can take four minutes to check a clear and obvious error, highlights everything that is wrong with the implementation. Putting useful technology into the hands of incompetents will always fail. VAR is sucking the life, joy and spontaneity out of the football experience.

It used to be said that two pairs of eyes are better than one. But whoever said that had never met referees. Keep the goal-line technology and semi-automated off-sides but chuck the rest out until someone sensible can be found to operate it.

Pawn Man Swoops In To Save Kyle MacFallguy

The funniest story of the internet content week was the idea that David Sullivan was taking back control of the club’s transfer business due to the failure of Potter and MacFallguy to identify any players the Chairman was prepared to sign. Surely only an idiot believes this spin from the man who has undermined every recruitment specialist hired by the club over the last ten years.

Pawn Man announces two new West Ham signings

As it happens, it may just be possible that the club has made a few excellent signings this window. At least they are in the right age range and can move beyond snail pace. We will need to wait to see how reasonable the transfer fees paid turn out to be.

The club has taken an unusual approach to transfers. Announce at the start of the window that you are skint and must sell before you buy – so that buying clubs can screw you on fees received. Then do little or nothing for over 80 days before desperation sets in and allows selling clubs to similarly screw you on fees paid.

Today is, of course, the final day of the summer window. Most often, it is an anticlimax at the London Stadium especially when considering the typical time needed to complete a medical and seal a deal for each player. Will this year be any different? Was winning on Sunday bad timing, giving the board an excuse to do nothing more now that everything seems ok again?

We can definitely expect a few more outgoings with Nayef Aguerd and Guido Rodriguez ready and waiting with their bags packed . Maybe Andy Irving will also depart in search of regular football – I hope not. Plus, there are still rumours about Tomas Soucek heading for a Moyes reunion tour.

As for incomings, we are still short in cover for central defence and striker. Useful youthful cover in both areas would be more than welcome.

The bright spot is that with the window closing (slamming shut) at 7pm, there’s no need to stay up late this year. COYI!