Report – Under The Hammers

West Ham Survive The Brewer’s Droop But Face Stiff Bees Test To Remain Up For The Cup

Despite a dire performance in the substandard FA Cup tie at Burton, the Hammers are through to the 5th Round to face Brentford. Before that it is back to league football and the desperate battle for survival.

In the world of modern football, the entry of Premier League and Championship clubs into the FA Cup has developed into a series of phoney rounds in this glorious old competition. For the fans, it promises dreams, excitement, and anticipation. An outside chance of snatching silverware just five matches away on the road to Wembley. For the media, there are potential banana skins and giant killing heroics that make for thrilling content as an antidote to the tactical morass of league football.

But in the dugouts and technical areas things are far more cynical. Where the romance of the cup is increasingly viewed as an unwelcome inconvenience – a contractual obligation distracting from the real business of titles, European qualification, promotions and relegations. The manager’s conundrum: how much can I get away with while still making it look like we’re taking it seriously?

And so, this was how it was as the Hammers headed up the M1 to Burton for their 4^th round tie against lowly League 1 opposition. Ten changes from the side who had faced Manchester United four days earlier including first starts for Adama Traore, Keiber Lamadrid and Mohammadou Kante. To test our patience even further, Nuno also reverted to his favoured cup formation of three centre-backs to cope with the anticipated threat from the mighty Brewers front line.

I’ve never been a fan of three at the back given it is generally adopted as a negative formation. To make it work requires high energy wing backs continually pushing up to provide attacking width; and wide forwards who are deployed narrower to create space on the wings and provide threat through the middle. None of that happened. And with two central midfielders seemingly instructed to sit deep it was a dire and disjointed effort. Perhaps no surprise from a team of relative strangers playing in a formation that didn’t suit them.

The entertainment was as far from a pulsating cup tie as could be imagined. Little of note happened for the entire 90 minutes of regulation time and it was only the introduction of Crysencio Summerville that lifted the game from its fitful slumber. The quality of his sixth goal in seven games totally out of character from the substandard game.

In line with current trends, the game’s major talking point revolved around the weak refereeing of Lewis Smith. The tackle by Freddie Potts was a clear foul and deserving of the yellow card originally selected by Smith. For the referee to change his mind, not due to advice from some guy in a bunker at Stockley Park, but due to the reaction of the Burton players was diabolical. Yet another irony of officiating whereby waving an imaginary card gets you a booking, but mobbing the referee gets the decision changed.

By the end, the Hammers were hanging on. But Nuno’s gamble or resting key players for the relegation battle had paid off. As with the previous round extra time had been required but we were into the hat for the 5^th round draw. We shouldn’t scoff at this. It is an above average achievement for the club who since their last FA Cup win in 1980 have been dumped out of the competition by this stage in 60% of seasons.

It was difficult to judge the performances of the young players in the circumstances. I have a general concerning our academy graduates in that they tend to be developed as tidy rather than exciting. Competent at receiving the ball, controlling it and making a simple pass, but lacking enough va va voom to make them special. Of those I’ve seen, Ezra Mayers looks to be the leading prospect.

Last night’s 5^th round draw turned up a home tie against bogey side Brentford. Games will be played on the weekend of March 7/8 after three more league games have taken place. Teams will be starting to take the cup more seriously by this stage, giving the managers plenty more to think about in what is shaping up to be an open tournament. West Ham will still be in survival chasing mode by then, while Brentford might well be eyeing Champion’s League qualification. It’s not the worst of draws but still a very difficult obstacle to overcome.

During the FA Cup hiatus, the Under The Hammers supercomputer, Deep Block, has been analysing the thousands of possible permutations and scenarios for the remaining league games. It concluded that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and points needed to guarantee Premier League survival is 42. A target that would require West Ham to pick up 18 points from the upcoming 12 games. That’s a minimum of 5 wins and a handful of draws. Not impossible but still a huge change of fortune for a team that has won just 30 of their last 100 league games, while averaging 1.15 points per game. Repeating such form would take us only to 38 points which may well not be enough. Below is my own winnability ranking of the 12 games to go.

The uphill challenge begins on Saturday with the visit of Bournemouth to the London Stadium. It is one of the games I feel that must be won if safety is to be achieved. But Bournemouth are an enigma. Losing player after player but then finding they have another one hidden up their sleeve. This time a teenage Brazilian (Rayan) who has slotted seamlessly into English football with two goals and an assist in 198 minutes played.

The Hammer’s preparations have been hampered by a mysterious injury to new signing Pablo. The striker becoming the latest occupant of the Andy Carroll suite at West Ham’s Rush Green Infirmary. Pablo’s absence will require a change to the more adventurous formation that had kickstarted our recent revival. My instinct is that Nuno will use Jean-Clair Todibo’s return from suspension as the excuse for a reprise of the three at the back experiment as follows: Hermansen – Todibo, Disasi, Mavropanos – Wan-Bissaka, Fernandes, Soucek, Diouf – Bowen, Taty, Summerville.

COYI!

West Ham At Burnley: Fernandes Outstanding, Summerville On Fire And The Return Of The Mads

There may yet be life left in the floundering Hammers. A third win in four games and fine individual performances raises the prospect of another great escape and puts pressure on a handful of teams immediately above us.

The welcome victory and clean sheet at Turf Moor was not quite the game of two halves that we have come to expect from West Ham. But it was a close call. The fearless ambition of the first half certainly didn’t make it back out of the dressing room after the break.

It is rare for a Nuno lineup not to prompt at least a moment or two’s head scratching when it is first announced. On this occasion it was a recall for Mads Hermansen, the keeper most responsible for the Hammer’s unhappy title as set piece concession kings. Nuno’s rationale was that Hermansen had been outstanding in training and merited a second chance. More likely was that Alphonse Areola was designated scapegoat for the manager’s poor game management at Chelsea.

In fairness, Mads did all that was asked of him and did nothing wrong. He can proudly boast to have kept goal for all (both) of the team’s league clean sheets this season. He is also far more comfortable with the ball at his feet than Areola. But I couldn’t escape the heebie jeebies whenever a high ball was drilled into the box. It’s not that Areola is the most commanding of keepers, but Mads lack of stature is an added worry. Fortunately, Burnley didn’t put him to the test apart from a brief spell of pressure after the break. More knowing opponents will surely look to target this short(!)coming.

On a positive selection note, Nuno opted to throw new loan signing Axel Disasi straight into the mix than relying on the hapless Max Kilman. It was a solid debut for Disasi who showed no sign of ring rustiness as a result of his lack of game time. Again, the caveat is that none of the defence were not unduly troubled by a poor Burnley team for whom Premier League survival is now a lost cause. It is unlikely that Scott Parker will follow in the footsteps of previous failed Burnley manager, Vincent Kompany, by landing a job at a European heavyweight.

Both West Ham goals came during a dominant first half display. The first, Mateus Fernandes’ powerful run from his own half before releasing Crysencio Summerville to dink a smart finish over the keeper. The second, a pleasing retro West Ham passing movement. Fernandes from deep to Summerville; a delightful layoff to Malick Diouf; and an excellent cross expertly headed home by Taty Castellanos. They are what I call genuine assists.

It was a fifth goal in five games for Summerville. Quite a turnaround for someone who looked like he couldn’t hit a barn door earlier in the season. And, of course, it should have been six in six had it not been for incompetent officiating in the Nottingham Forest fixture.

The second half was an anti-climax as far as West Ham attacking intent was concerned. They might have snatched a third had Jarrod Bowen’s final pass been better at the end of an impressive run, but the master plan was to protect what they had at half time without adding to the points lost from winning positions.

With Burnley making a bright start after the break, the Hammers were temporarily in panic mode and experienced several narrow escapes at the back. Nuno’s reaction was to replace a striker, Callum Wilson, with Freddie Potts in midfield. The game settled down after this with goalmouth action at a premium. While I would have liked to have seen a more adventurous change in an attempt to boost the woeful goal difference, it can be argued that the end justified the means. It was a precious three points in the bank.

As in the majority of recent games, Fernandes was the standout West Ham perfromer. A presence in midfield not seen since the departure of Declan Rice. Just a shame there is not a more influential partner to share central midfield duties with than Tomas Soucek. Aside from providing extra height in either box, the game mostly passes Soucek by. Every pass made is safe and predictable. It’s really not good enough in the modern midfield frenzy and will surely be exposed by pacier and more energetic adversaries.

The scourge of inconsistent refereeing was my other takeaway from the game. The slightest coming together in a tackle is often needlessly penalised, fouls outside and inside the box are treated differently, extravagant dives and play acting are rewarded, defenders are routinely allowed to manhandle forwards while forwards are pulled up for merely jostling defenders. Time and again Kyle Walker was allowed to get away with pushing and shoving Summerville because he knew he was lost for pace. If Adama Traore had been brought with the sole intention of clattering Walker into the advertising hoardings, I would have looked more favourably on his signing.

Victory made it three wins in the last four games for West Ham. We’re still deep in the smelly stuff but the outside prospect of escape has been renewed. No accident that the uptick in performances have coincided with the arrival of El Paco as Nuno’s right-hand man. Was it really blatant penny pinching that prevented him bringing in his own staff?

West Ham sit an encouraging seventh place in the Premier League form table (last six games) and to survive we must hope results can continue to improve. Ominously, leading that table are Tuesday night’s opponents, Manchester United. My impression of the Red Devils is a team that is lively in attack yet vulnerable at the back. That must drive our approach to the game.

It is tempting to get caught up in assessing all the odds and permutations that could arise between now and the end of the season for each team at the bottom of the table. But as Shakespeare wrote (in ‘When Saturday Doth Approach’) “That way madness lies.” Best just to focus on our own results and performances. Win as many games as we can and hopefully someone else will end up below us.

History tells us that as the season progresses, results start to become even more unpredictable. There are teams with nothing to play for, teams focusing on cup competitions and outcomes that are already settled. The Hammers face Manchester City and Aston Villa immediately after midweek Round of 16 European games. Arsenal may already have won the league by May 9 and have an eye on the chance of a double/ treble/ quadruple. Less likely but still possible, Newcastle may be preparing for a Champions League final when we play them on May 17. Does any of that help? Who knows? But at least it’s a few straws to clutch at. COYI!

Nuno’s Game Management Weakness Costs West Ham Dear In Stamford Bridge Battle

The Hammer’s specialty of throwing away hard-earned points was to the fore on Saturday when Nuno needlessly pressed the defensive panic button in response to Chelsea pressure

Saturday’s game at Stamford Bridge managed to encapsulated the entire emotional range of supporting West Ham in recent seasons. A spectrum of hope, expectation, false dawns, frustrations, disbelief and anger.

A run of three straight wins had allowed the merest hint of optimism to seep into an otherwise hopeless situation. Things were still desperate but at least there was a sense that the players were prepared to give it a go. That if we went down, we would go down fighting.

In the build up to Saturday’s game, only the recklessly optimistic were predicting victory at Chelsea. Their glass half-full prophecies possibly the result of glasses being topped up too quickly and too frequently with intoxicating liquor. For the rest of us, a spirited performance capable of boosting morale and confidence for the winnable fixtures to come was the essential requirement. A point would be great, but a narrow defeat wouldn’t be a disaster if it was backed by a performance to be proud of.

It’s funny how perspectives on games can be changed by events. If you had only seen the final score, you might imagine an action-packed end-to-end thriller that was only settled in added time. But that was not the reality. It was another two-goal lead tamely thrown away after the break. Another West Ham game of two halves. No wonder Hammer’s fans were fuming. Not for the first time this season, a comfortable two goal half-time lead surrendered thanks to poor game management. The media focus would be on Chelsea’s sensational comeback. But one man’s comeback is another man’s capitulation.

West Ham have now dropped 18 points from winning positions this season (15 since the appointment of Nuno). They have taken the lead in 12 games and ended up losing four and drawing three of those matches. Had they preserved only a third of the points, then the gap to safety would be far more presentable. A half and they would be mid-table.

Exactly what goes on in the dressing room at half-time? What signals does Nuno give out to the players. Does he convey nervousness and caution? Does a half-time lead come as so much of a shock that he doesn’t know what to do or how to react? Does he permanently carry a panic button around with him ready to revert to type at the first sign of pressure? Convinced that the worst defence in the league – the one without a clean sheet since they last played against a Nuno side – are capable of holding out for an entire half as you invite the opposition to attack. And that the worst defender in the league is just the man to shore things up. There is no chance West Ham can defend their way to survival. And why try it when the relative strength is with the attacking players?

From what we have seen so far, Nuno’s game management expertise is shocking. Tactical and personnel changes when they come have been late and misguided. The common themes have been replacing forwards with defenders, defending deeper, creating massive gaps between defence and attack, isolating forwards and abandoning all pretence of ambition. Failing to occupy the opposition defenders is an open invitation to push forward and create the overloads that are invariably our undoing.

The reaction to Chelsea’s second half resurgence shouldn’t have been a change to three central defenders; but to inject fresher legs and more pace into midfield. Or fresh ideas in attack. I can just about accept the case for Tomas Soucek when his role is predominantly as an auxiliary central defender. But once Max Kilman was introduced, he should have been replaced by Freddie Potts or Soungoutou Magassa. His alarming lack of pace simply no longer works as a more advanced midfielder.

Once the twin striker formation was jettisoned, the very foundation of first half success – creating space for Jarrod Bowen and Crysencio Summerville to exploit – disappeared. The approach was doomed to failure. If a change upfront was needed, then a straight swap of Callum Wilson for Pablo would have been my preference. Continue to ask questions of the Chelsea defence, not give them the rest of the evening off.

By the end of the game, Nuno had removed all three of Pablo, Taty and Bowen to provide fans with a first glimpse of muscle-bound serial underachiever Adama Traore. We can’t say he didn’t make an impact as it was his petty confrontation with Cucurella which sparked the melee leading to Jean-Clair Todibo’s red card. I’m not saying that the eternally irritating Cucurella doesn’t deserve all the grief that comes his way, but this did not work out well for West Ham. Todibo’s absence through suspension will be critical considering who his likely replacement is likley to be.

It is difficult to know where to start with West Ham’s defending. There has been improvement at set pieces but goals against remains the highest in the league. The latest Achilles heel is the cross to the far post where central strikers are isolating aerially challenged full backs. The first two Chelsea goals both coming via this route – as had the goals conceded to QPR, Tottenham and Sunderland.

***

All eyes today will be on the slamming shut of the transfer window. The vague messages intentionally leaked from the club are that they are working hard on new signings – with the caveat that it is always a difficult environment in January. Of course, leaving your most important business to the very last moment will always be difficult – if not downright negligent.

The centre back situation is farcical given how critical it has been all season. It is now perfectly setup for the typical West Ham showdown featuring a Sullivan special foisted onto the latest reluctant manager. A no-nonsense centre back and attack minded midfielder would be an acceptable final day’s work for me, but I am fully prepared for disappointment.

Once the dust has settled and the transfer curtains finally drawn until the summer, we have only the uphill struggle to survival to concerns us. Throwing away leads and shipping an average two goals per game is not a habit that can lead to safety. The challenge starts with a massive must-win if we are to have any hope game at Burnley next Saturday. The best hope for winning the game may rely on Paco being able to lock Nuno in the Turf Moor broom cupboard while he delivers the half time pep talk. COYI!

Experts Are Baffled As Half Decent Football Team Are Spotted At The London Stadium

A third win on the bounce and a more attacking philosophy has raised spirits around West Ham. It shouldn’t have taken this long to get here, but hope has been given a new lease of life.

It had been a spluttering start in Saturday’s early kick-off but once the Hammers got into their stride it transformed into their most adventurous and accomplished performance of the season. A third consecutive win in all competitions has served to lift the mood at the club and, although the situation remains desperate, there is hope that an outside chance of safety remains possible. Despite the known gaps, there is now more quality in the squad than results have led us to believe.

For a pleasant and welcome change, Nuno resisted meddling with either personnel or formation for the visit of Sunderland. Returning AFCON winner, Malick Diouf, had to settle for a berth on the bench where there was also a surprise return for the estranged James Ward-Prowse. JWP taking over the seat recently vacated by the departing Guido Rodriguez.

Witnessing West Ham attack in numbers might take some getting used to. While the introduction of Taty Castellanos and Pablo Felipe may not have glut of goals written all over it – they are no McAvennie and Cottee – their presence does occupy defenders and make space for others to exploit. Both are prepared to work hard with or without the ball and will hopefully to contribute more in front of goal as they become acclimatised to English football.

It was amusing to hear Nuno talking post-match about the importance of getting more bodies into box – as if it was a genius tactical revelation known only to him. I would ask why it has taken so long to realise this, when fans (including myself) have railed against the lack of penalty box action for the last three or four managers. Perhaps it is Paco Jemez who must be given the credit for the uncharacteristic change of direction.

The opening goal was a perfect example of its benefits. When Jarrod Bowen crossed the ball, he was one of five West Ham shirts in the area. While Sunderland defenders are distracted by the presence of Pablo, Castellanos and Tomas Soucek, space is created for the salmon-like leap of Jimmy ‘The Fish’ Summerville to thunder home his header.

In real time, the penalty looked a little soft to me, although Ollie Scarles was definitely caught as he jinked his way into the box. Bowen neatly dispatched the resultant penalty but the icing on the cake of an excellent, high energy first half ame when Mateus Fernandes long range cracker fizzed into the net. His first ever goal from outside the box.

Fernandes was excellent throughout. He runs all day, tackles hard and has an added creative spark that is lacking elsewhere in the squad. With Lucas Paqueta out of the way, it gives him extra opportunity to sparkle. I suspect he is one of those players who is only passing through at West Ham and we must enjoy him while we can.

If anything, his second long range effort in the dying seconds was even better than the first – but was unfortunately thwarted by the woodwork. The shot initiated a comedy phase of play which saw a handbags, face-off between Dinos Mavropanos and Alderete of Sunderland, and the ball crossing the line after bouncing in off Soucek’s shoulder blade. No-one seemed to know for sure what was going on or why it was eventually disallowed. If Soucek fouled the keeper, it was only because he was shoved by a defender. I did wonder whether Soucek was offside but don’t have any evidence whether this was checked.

The second half was not the usual Nuno retreat into low defensive shape, but they did take their foot off the pedal as an attacking force. The high hopes for a first London Stadium clean sheet of the season disappeared midway through the half when, for the third game in a row, a cross from the right was headed firmly past Alphonse Areola.

It was a goal out of nowhere really. Jean-Clair Todibo had been drawn out of position, Scarles went to ground too easily when he might easily have put the ball into touch, Fernandes didn’t track the runner, Mavropanos was drawn towards the ball and Soucek was slow getting back to cover. It was a team goal but not of the type we love to see.

Overall, Sunderland were disappointing. Without the injured Xhaka (who was busy starting an argument in the stands) they lacked authority and organisation; and were exposed as the strong, athletic but technically limited outfit they are. Good luck to them. It is a strategy that will see them comfortably survive their first season and is indicative of the direction that Premier League football is taking. Where athleticism has become the most important player attribute.

The buoyancy of the West Ham mood was somewhat dampened by Nottingham Forest’s victory at Brentford last night. Their five point advantage over the Hammers disappointingly restored. Closing the gap a little over the weekend would have been a welcome and timeley boost to morale. Tonight, we should all be rooting for Moyesie as his team take on Leeds United at the Hill Dickinson Stadium.

With a perfect sense of timing, the Ironcast podcast this week featured an interview with Alan Curbishley where among other things he talked through the Great Escape of 2006/07. It’s worth a watch/ listen. As a crumb of comfort, here is the league table at the equivalent stage of that season.

And here we are, six games later, just the one point better off and ten points adrift from safety.

So, remember, it is not yet a lost cause. Impossible is Nunothing. We must remain positive while we can. Embrace optimism, overcome those worrying limitations that we see, and believe that rediscovered potential will turn our dreams into reality. We can survive. COYI!

West Ham Midweek Briefing: Late Joy in N17, All Kicking Off at Corners and the Customary Transfer Mayhem

Winning at Tottenham with last minute scrambles, Laughing out loud cos the Spuds are a shambles, Buying defenders but not Tyrone Mings, These are a few of my favourite things!

Last Gasp Jubilation at the Tottenham Stadium

Any win against Tottenham carries with it an extra layer of smug satisfaction. Winning away makes it doubly so. Four-goal David Cross in 1981, the 1984 Easter massacre, Dani’s header in 1996, Ravel Morrison’s 2013 solo effort, and that first defeat at their new stadium in 2019. They are all part of West Ham folklore.

Whether Saturday’s game will live as long in the memory will depend more on what happens from here on in than events in the match itself. Will it kickstart another great escape or be just a momentary highlight in an otherwise miserable season. Like Kenny Brown scoring the winner against Manchester United in 1992.

With none of the bottom six teams losing at the weekend, it was a crucial time to get a result. Critical, in fact, to return home with three points rather than just the one. At least some ground was made up even if the size of the challenge remains daunting for a team whose resting state defaults to caution.

Whether it was inspired or not by the arrival of new coach and fellow countrymen, Paco Jemez, Nuno announced a surprisingly attacking line-up to face Spurs. A retro 4-4-2 formation that featured both Taty Castellanos and Pablo Felipe up front supported by Jarrod Bowen and Crysencio Summerville on the flanks. There was no place for either Freddie Potts or Soungoutou Magassa with Tomas Soucek preferred to partner Mateus Fernandes in central midfield. The adventurous selection adding a sense of ‘Make or Break’ to the afternoon.

As we have come to expect though, it was a game of two halves from the Hammers. Or more accurately, given the amount of added time we get these days, a game of two nine-sixteenths. It’s either, an adventurous first 45 followed by ultra caution should we take the lead. Or a lethargic opener, followed by a burst of second half energy as the result of multiple half-time substitutions.

West Ham were easily the better side before the break with goalscorer Summerville and the impressive Fernandes as standout players. With only one goal to show for their efforts, however, it was always going to be a fragile lead if the intention was to defend it in the second half. Which is exactly the tactic that Nuno employed.

As for Spurs, they were dreadful in the first period but came out with more purpose in the second. Even then, despite bossing possession, their threat came mainly from hopeful long shots. But with the West Ham game plan a senseless combination of low blocking and panicked clearances, the hosts only needed one clearcut chance to draw level. Any pretence by the Hammers of rapid counterattacks or holding the ball up to ease the pressure on the defence had been left on the dressing room whiteboard. Win possession then immediately give the ball back to Spurs was the accepted modus operandi.

The goal when it came was almost a carbon copy of the one conceded to QPR in the previous weekend’s cup game. A cross from the right bypassed the centre backs who had been drawn to the near post, and the scorer stole in front of Aaron Wan-Bissaka’s token challenge to head home.

At that point, if felt that the home side were sure to go on to win the game. So, the sucker punch, when it came was completely out of the blue. Let’s not kid ourselves that introducing Callum Wilson was an inspired tactical masterstroke. The purpose was solely to waste a few more precious seconds of added time. The change should have been made 20 minutes earlier, especially with Taty on a yellow card.

The goal itself was a scrappy affair just after Wilson might have scored anyway with a decent opportunity. The resultant corner kick from Ollie Scarles was a typically benign floaty affair but Vicario flapped, the ball bounced loose and Wilson demonstrated his predatory striking skills. Amazing what a striker with an eye for goal can come up with.

I was convinced that after the wild celebrations had died down, VAR would find a way to disallow it. But this time they couldn’t, and we could all sleep soundly in our beds for a change.

All Kicking Off At The Corners

Set piece goals – and goals from corners in particular – are becoming increasingly significant in Premier League games as the antidote to the tactical stalemate of open play. More attention is paid towards their execution by (most) coaches, and teams take far longer to set up for corner kicks and throw-ins than ever before.

West Ham were once a feared set piece outfit but now, without anyone to fearlessly attack the ball in the opposition box, they have slipped down the rankings. Equally, they have no long throw exponent and have yet to score direct from a free lick this season. A set piece winner was therefore most welcome.

A by-product of the set piece shenanigans are the frequent melees in every penalty area. A confusion of pushing, pulling, holding and shoving that referees mostly ignore but, where every so often, the music stops and a penalty is awarded. Malick Diouf experienced this to his (temporary) cost in the AFCON final. In isolation, it was a stupid piece of holding. But if all similar incidents were given, we’d have six or seven penalties per game. I am sure PGMOL are frantically working on the most implausible response to stamp it out for next season.

Semi Annual Transfer Mayhem

The West Ham transfer window is its usual muddle of too many cooks spoiling the soup in a basket. There’s Max Hahn trawling through his spreadsheets, Nuno rifling through old Panini sticker albums with super-agent Jorge Mendes and the Chairmen undermining all and sundry in cahoots with his traditional transfer connections and unveiling the latest David Sillyloan special.

Sullivan may well have had a valid point about not releasing Callum Wilson but why not keep the difference of opinion in-house rather than broadcasting it to the world. Quite what we’ll end up with by the time the window closes is anyone’s guess.

From reading various West Ham discussion boards, there are plenty of opinions as to where the transfer priorities should be. A reflection of how threadbare and unbalanced the squad has been allowed to come. It is impossible to fix or fill each and every gap in the next two weeks and so any further recruitment needs to be carefully targeted to the cause of survival. To me that means players able to make an immediate impact, not extra bodies brought in as cover. The reality is that we will have to muddle through and hope for the best in some positions.

I still feel the addition of a creative ball carrying attacking midfielder is the most significant gap. Someone to replace the ineffective Paqueta in making things happen – a Morgan Gibbs-White equivalent. Others make a strong case for an additional winger or two on the basis that we mostly attack down the flanks. But my answer to that is we attack down the wings because no-one is capable enough to go through the middle. Our attacking play needs mixing up and must become much less predictable.

It looks like the 22-year-old Venezuelan, Keiber Lamadrid will be joining on loan in the next day or two. An inexperienced South American winger to replace the one we have just let go. Will we just leave him hanging around the training ground like Luis Guilherme. It was odd that Guilherme wasn’t sent out on loan or get at least some game time with the U21s. Good luck to Keiber. If he ever gets a game, he would be the third Venezuelan after Fernando Amorebieta and Salomon Rondon to play in the Premier League. It should be noted that both experienced relegation during their stays. COYI!

Dear West Ham, True Love: On the Eighth Day of Christmas, Please Send One Striker Striking

The halfway stage of the season is approaching, the transfer window will soon be open, and West Ham are slipping further behind in the relegation stakes. A spirited performance against Aston Villa did little to cheer things up.

Under different circumstances, the gift of eight maids-a-milking might make a reasonable enough gift for the eighth day of Christmas. But when it coincides with the opening of the transfer window – and your team is in danger of becoming stranded in the relegation places – far more pressing offering spring to mind than the oversupply of dairy produce.

In fact, I’d go even further to say I’m equally ambivalent about pipers piping and drummers drummingas well. Although lords-a-leaping could coe in very useful for defending set pieces.

With the transfer window a matter of weeks away, the imperative is not just to act but to act as fast as possible. Ideally, just as Big Ben has completed its chimes and before the strains of Auld Lang Syne have faded away our first new signings would be first footing into the London Stadium armed with whisky, shortbread and the gurantee of a dozen goals.

For me, striker and attacking midfielder are the priorities although further central defensive reinforcements wouldn’t be out of the question. But that wish list doesn’t include the recently linked Josh Sargeant and Adama Traore, neither of who offer an upgrade on what we currently have. The clock is ticking and if ever there was a time to pull a rabbit out of the hat, it is now.

Of course, decisiveness in the transfer market is hardly hard-wired into the club’s DNA. Should past performance be anything to go by, then David Sullivan will spend the entire window haggling, stalling, hindering, penny-pinching and frustrating right until the very last minute. By which time it could all be too late.

It has to be said that West Ham’s performance against Aston Villa was one of the better efforts of their season. It was an entertaining and even game and there could have been few arguments if the Hammers had earned at least a point, if not all three. But that is three games in the last five now where winning positions have been lost or surrendered. Where a potentially table climbing nine precious points was withered away to two.

It’s not hard to detect clear signs of improvement since Nuno’s arrival at the club, but then that is a particularly low bar. Graham Potter’s idea of being competitive was to only lose matches by a single goal while offering next to nothing by way of offensive threat. Nuno’s Hammers play with greater purpose and spirit and have been able compete on the pitch for lengthy periods. The weakness is not having a strong enough bench to press home advantages or see games out as necessary – although I regards part of this shortcoming as self-inflicted by Nuno himself.

This week’s selection wheel of fortune sprang just the one surprise. The decision to relegate Callum Wilson to the bench and start without a recognised striker. As ever, the bench was top heavy with defensive reinforcements and lacked realistic game changing resources.

It couldn’t have been a brighter, more profitable start for West Ham. An uncharacteristic high press, a defensive lapse by Villa and Mateus Fernandes broke free to curl home his first Hammer’s goal with less than 30 seconds on the clock. So, just 89½ minutes plus stoppage time to hold on then.

But rather than a full-scale retreat, the game remained a remarkably open, end-to-end affair. Villa equalised through an unfortunate Dinos Mavropanos own goal after Watkins had failed to get his head to the ball, only for West Ham to regain the lead before half time thanks to Jarrod Bowen’s quick reactions.

However, it was not to be a famous victory over the Premier League’s form team, and two goals from the always impressive Rogers sealed the deal for the visitors. The first stemming from a typical cheap giveaway by Lucas Paqueta and the second when Rogers was allowed far too much space in the centre of the pitch to strike at goal.

While it’s always tempting to pin each goal conceded on an individual player, I believe there are systemic issues with the way that West Ham are set up that leaves them exposed.

The first is the constant switch between a back four and back three/ five which appears to confuse role of the full/ wing backs. In a four, they continue to get forward but, in doing so, tend to neglect the defensive duties that the formation demands. AWB, especially, is slow (almost unwilling) to get back into position when a forward run is thwarted. I’m all for tactical flexibility but is it too much too soon given the early days of the coach/ player relationships. Likewise, the weekly rotation of playing with or without a main striker. In the circumstances, would not finding a plan and sticking to it be more productive? Leave the more subtle and intricate changes for a pre-season.

The second is a structural issue that is common to all low-block fundamentalists when they attempt to dip their toes into more adventurous waters. If you allow or encourage your midfield players to get further forward, then it is madness to stick with such a deep defensive line. It creates way too much space between the lines for opponents to exploit. As Rogers did with ease for the winner.

I do like the look of the Fernandes, Freddie Potts, Soungoutou Magassa midfield partnership and hope Nuno doesn’t think it needs tinkering with. I can only see it getting better with the passage of time. The disappointments for me from yesterday, however, were Paqueta and Crysencio Summerville.

Although Paqueta produced a couple of delightful passes his overall contribution was again very poor. And fewer and fewer referees are now falling for his naïve attempts to buy a foul whenever he finds himself boxed in by the touchline.

Summerville, on the other hand, gives the outward impression of being an exciting crowd-pleasing player. Bbut his final delivery is about as reliable as a hands-free soap dispenser. I’ve never known a player choosing to run so frequently with the ball without ever having it under control. Being such a lightweight player, it does raise concerns as to his effectiveness at the top level.

Nuno was very slow to make any substitutions as legs started to tire. Why leave the introduction of Callum Wilson so long when there was an obvious opportunity to win the game with 20 to 25 minutes remaining? The triple substitution with two minutes to go was simply nonsensical. While throwing Tomas Soucek into the mix could be seen as a belated gamble to grab a late leveller, it was never likley to work without a functioning midfield to move the ball forward.

West Ham’s next outing is the traditional mauling at the hands of Manchester City next Saturday. Following that come four winnable games. At home to Fulham and Brighton (the season’s halfway point), then away at Wolves and home to Forest. We might know by then whether this is going to be an Avram Grant season or an Alan Curbishley great escape one.

Can Sunday’s spirited performance be the springboard for greater things. Just as the 4-3 home defeat by Tottenham did in 2006/7. Is Carlos Tevez still available? COYI!

Nuno’s Eggs, VAR’s Seaside Madness and Passing Through The Hoops To FA Cup Glory

The idiom of the curate’s egg is used to describe something that is good in parts. And that’s exactly how Nuno Espirito Santo’s time at West Ham can best be summed after ten games in charge. More sunny side up, and less last minute scrambles, please.

Ten points from ten games may be on the cusp of survival form but is not a good enough return to compensate for the terrible start engineered by Graham Potter. Interestingly, Potter’s overall record at the Hammers was also exactly a point per game – 23 from 23. So, plenty of room for improvement.

While Nuno might be perfectly happy to draw his way to safety it is not what is needed. Reaching the promised land of 40 points – which may or may not be enough this season in an unusually compressed Premier League table – demands 27 points from the remaining 23 games. My guess is that at least seven wins are needed somehow. By no means impossible, but better than what has gone before.

There are obvious signs of improvements under Nuno compared to the darkest days of Potter and Lopetegui. And to some extent he has been working in recovery mode from the hopelessness of the previous incumbents. The players now appear to understand what they are supposed to be doing (especially when defending set pieces), team spirit and resilience have returned to acceptable levels, youth is being given a chance, and individual players (Alphonse Areola, Jean-Clair Todibo and Dinos Mavropanos in particular) have demonstrated considerable improvement in both performance and attitude.

On the flip side, there are the weird team selections, dodgy substitutions and a flight towards safety in the closing stages of games which have already sacrificed a handful of winnable and much needed points. There is a supreme paradox that a coach who favours hyper-caution in game management is prepared to make untried and speculative tactical gambles by way of preparation.

It could equally be argued that the club is pretty much back where it left off with the Moyesiah. A predilection for low block, low possession, counter-attacking football and an over-reliance on Jarrod Bowen for goals.

True to form, Nuno sprang a curate’s egg selection surprise when the team sheets were handed in on Sunday. On the plus side, it was a welcome return for injury prone Crysencio Summerville in attack. But against that was another experiment with three central defenders, and the baffling inclusion of Guido Rodriguez in front of them.

Freddie Potts and Soungoutou Magassa were relegated to the bench while George Earthy, Mohamadou Kanté and Callum Marshall – all on the bench at Old Trafford- were excluded from the matchday squad completely.

In fairness, Rodriguez did what was asked of him. But his inclusion was still an odd decision where better, more flexible, options were available. The modern coaching fraternity are obsessed with the need for squad rotation once the games come around “thick and fast’” – whether it is needed or not. A Potts/ Magassa job share would have worked equally well defensively and with the aded bonus of greater energy going forward.

Nuno’s intent to contain and frustrate Brighton worked just as planned for long periods of the match. Hürzeler’s Seagulls tend more towards Potter’s version than the more adventurous, higher risk De Zerbi incarnation. Faced with numbers and a compact Hammer’s defensive shape they were unable to trouble Areola in the West Ham goal until their closing minutes assault.

The best chance of a stodgy first half fell to Summerville but his shot was easily saved. For all the admirable pace and movement, his decision making and end-product need a radical improvement at this level. Difficult to believe from his deer-in-the-headlights attempts at goal that he once racked up 21 goals in a season for Leeds. He would later be denied by an excellent stop from the Brighton keeper.

West Ham took the lead moments after the introduction of Callum Wilson. A hopeful clearance by Kilman, a mistake in the Brighton defence and Wilson feeding Bowen who scored with a fine hooked shot from the tightest of angles. Could they hold on or even score another?

While a low-block isn’t directly equivalent to parking the bus, that is what the Hammer’s strategy became with each successive substitution. With no pace and no-one able to carry the ball forward the last 15 minutes became a game of attack versus defence, just as it had against Bournemouth. The biggest mistake of all was to withdraw Mateus Fernandes. With him went the important protection in front of the back line. Suddenly, it was the hosts winning all the 50-50 challenges.

When the whole defensive line drops so deep and invites constant pressure holding out becomes a lottery. The reason most managers don’t deploy a 9-0-1 formation. All it needs is a lucky bounce or wicked deflection. Or in this case, the incompetence of VAR.

VAR should only have one job. To pick up the infringements that the referee misses in the hurly burly of on-field action. Of course, this isn’t what the jokers at PGMOL have done. Instead, they have rewritten all sorts of rules to suit the technology available. And in doing so, they have either failed to think them through – requiring constant revision and re-interpretation. Or introduced fixes to problems that hadn’t existed previously.

How could anyone (and I’m looking at you VAR-meister, Tony Harrington) look at multiple replays from multiple angles and fail to see the dangerous assault on Dinos’ head and/ or conclude that the handball should not be penalised. Some made-up nonsense about phases of play which meant that had Areola let the original shot in, it would have been disallowed. But when the same player scores three seconds later it was OK.

The ever-changing interpretation of the rules are a farce. Daft decisions being imposed by daft people. All totally subjective. And the reason why you can always find a retired man in black to support whatever opinion you fancy in the media.

In all the excitement, there was still a chance for Dinos to miss a gilt-edged opportunity to bag a winner from the final corner of the match. It is now two years since a central defender scored for West Ham (Dinos at Arsenal) which in the age of set piece specialists is another sad Hammer’s statistic. Like not having a decent corner taker or anyone capable of launching a threatening throw-in into the box.

It was nice to see Ezra Mayers, another academy lad, make his Premier League debut. Too little time to make any impression but we may be seeing more of him once the AFCON players depart.

***

Last night’s FA Cup draw was kinder to West Ham than in previous years when Joe Cole presented them with a 3^rd round home tie against QPR. The Hoops were 5^th round opponents at Upton Park enroute to the Hammer’s 1975 Final win. However, we have faced them three times in the competition since then and lost on each occasion.

A nice little cup run would be a welcome relief after a dismal two years for West Ham supporters. So, let’s hope that Nuno treats it with the respect it deserves.

At the weekend, West Ham entertain Aston Villa, the Premier League’s current form team. They have a Europa League game in Switzerland on Thursday night, so any flight delays or travel problems will be greatly appreciated. COYI!

Nuno’s Caution, Obliging Hosts and A Sad Farewell to King Billy Bonds MBE

Six foot two, eyes of blue, Billy Bonds is after you, na na na na na na na na na! An awful game of football was an ill-fitting tribute to this exceptional club legend.

Most of us can easily reel off our list of favourite ever games. Nights of thrilling football, electric atmospheres and tribal passions often elevated by uncertainty and jeopardy. Where the buzz of adrenaline, exhilaration and emotion kicked in from having witnessed something truly special. West Ham versus Liverpool was not one of those games.

In fact, it was an awful spectacle from beginning to end. Unfit to be classsed as an elite sporting contest in the supposed greatest league in the world. And no fit way to honour the memory of a sadly departed West Ham legend. It was drab, dreary, uneventful and without even a hint of entertainment. An afternoon to forget. To be archived immediately by the brain and filed away in its junk folder.

Unfortunately, for West Ham fans such afternoons and evenings are increasingly becoming the norm. The rot set in back in January 2024. The season had started well enough despite the loss of Declan Rice with a momentum carried over from the Conference League success. But as winter set in, it started to run out of steam. Reinforcements were badly needed. A squad refresh for the busy schedule of domestic and European football to come. But true to form, the club did nothing. Bad decisions which have been coming home to roost ever since.

In the intervening period, league performances have plummeted faster than a politician’s approval rating. The return from the past 70 matches is just 73 points and a meagre 18 wins – 9 in 36 home games and 9 in 34 away games. How are supporters meant to be motivated when a visit to the London Stadium offers only a 25% chance of success? And where successive managerial emphasis on caution at the expense of entertainment (remember that?) has served up an uninspiring average of little over one West Ham goal per game.

Pundits frequently talk about managers of ‘lesser’ clubs needing to be pragmatic. As if that excuses or is equivalent to the need for overzealous timidity. It is faulty reasoning. Being pragmatic is about making optimum use of the resources available in all areas of the pitch. Playing to your strengths. Managers command large salaries for their apparent expertise in adapting tactics and selections to suit individual sets of circumstances. Parking as many players behind the ball as possible in every game, regardless of opposition or situation does not represent pragmatism. It reflects a lack of imagination.

Here we were then, facing a hesitant Liverpool side. With a manager under pressure and a team low on confidence, riddled with defensive uncertainty following a long winless run of results. How best then to capitalise on these anxieties? Nuno’s answer was to act as the most obliging of hosts. Providing Liverpool the opportunity to play themselves back into form. Sit deep, abandon attacking ambition and allow a suspect defence the easiest afternoon they will have all season (or at least until the return fixture at Anfield!)

To be fair, there were few complaints about the starting eleven that Nuno had selected. The makeup of the bench was another matter though. Why does he persist with all three of Tomas Soucek, Guido Rodriguez and Andy Irving in the matchday squad? Under what possible scenario would they be brought into the action together? Their presence only serves to signal the tone of the manager’s intentions while severely restricting the attacking options available for those (frequent) occasions where you go a goal down. Surely, George Earthy and Callum Marshall would offer more balance and greater variety from the bench.

If the starting eleven looked acceptable on paper, it was substandard in its application. The pitiful levels of pressure applied to a wounded opponent were a shocking disappointment. We can’t be certain whether this is team orders or down to individual players but, as ever, the Hammers long-running striker predicament was compounded by an inability or reluctance to get sufficient bodies into the penalty area in support.

West Ham’s limitations with on-field leadership was brought into sharp focus during the Lucas Paqueta debacle. It was obvious that the Brazilian had completely lost control of his mind and yet none of his colleagues made a serious attempt to intervene and calm the situation down. Skipper Jarrod Bowen, standing a matter of yards away, was particularly culpable in acting as a disinterested bystander.

Many have commented on Bowen’s drop in form in recent weeks. He was certainly ineffective on Sunday (apart from the one late shot which was as close to a shot on target as we got) but much of this may be down to opponents recognising he is the Hammer’s only significant threat – and doubling up his marking as a result. Essentially, stop Bowen and you stop West Ham.

***

The sad backdrop to Sunday’s game was the breaking news that Billy Bonds MBE had died. By any metric Bonzo was one of the greatest players to ever wear the claret and blue. A total of 799 appearances across 20 seasons in three different decades. The scorer of 61 goals and an inspirational captain who twice lifted the FA Cup.

His exploits and longevity had made him a hero to many generations of West Ham fans. For some reason, my 13-year-old paper boy self can quite clearly recall when I first learnt of his signing. The first stop on my round was two blocks of flats, and I would stop for a while to scan through the back pages for the latest sports news and gossip – or what passed for it back then. I must admit I had never heard of Billy Bonds at the time, but a new young full back sounded like it would be an exciting prospect.

Billy made his debut in the opening game of the 1967/68 season – a home defeat by Sheffield Wednesday – alongside fellow new signings Bobby Ferguson (from Kilmarnock) and John Cushley (from Celtic). Little did we know what impression he would make at the club.

There are just too many superlatives that can be applied to Billy Bonds – tough, wholehearted, dedicated, commanding, courageous, composed, loyal, tenacious, tireless, energetic and so on and so on. He was the embodiment of effort and dedication in a football shirt. A versatile footballer who excelled in every position he played in – rampaging full back, competitive midfielder, or unyielding central defender. A real West Ham warrior (with matching hair and beard) who competed hard and fair, who played on through the knocks, who would fight for every ball but always within the spirit of the game. There was no underhand niggling, malice or gamesmanship in Billy’s locker.

Having first experienced the West Ham of Moore, Hurst, and Peters, Billy was not my first Hammer’s hero, but he stands proudly on the podium with the best. Although the term is often thrown around loosely these days, Bonzo was a true club legend.

***

Yet another defeat has left West Ham in a precarious position towards the foot of the Premier League table. It’s shaping up as a four or five horse race for the three relegation places. Any three from Wolves, Burnley, Leeds, West Ham and possibly Forest for the drop. Three of the five having already played their joker by sacking at least one manager.

Points are badly needed from the two tricky away fixtures at Old Trafford and the Amex Stadium scheduled over the following five days. But it is difficult to see where they might come from. After that Malick Diouf and AWB will be off to AFCON 2025. Desperate times. COYI!

Nuno And A Classic Tale Of Game Mismanagement: West Ham Draw At Bournemouth

One point is snatched from the jaws of three as West Ham invite Bournemouth to an uncontested 45-minute second half shootout at the Vitality Stadium.

On the face of it, returning from the Vitality Stadium with one point in the bag could be seen as a job well done. Bournemouth are no mugs and many of us would have taken the draw prior to kick-off. And seven points from the last three games is not to be sniffed at. So, why so much post-match negativity among supporters? The simple answer: because it felt very much like two points thrown away rather than one earned.

Nuno had received plenty of media plaudits following the two consecutive home victories against Newcastle and Burnley. They were much needed wins, the league table looked less desperate and there was a sense he may have “turned things around”. Yet, I can’t shake the doubts from my mind that he was as much the architect of our dire situation – from his bewildering selections and tactics against Brentford and Leeds – as he was our saviour. A sleight of hand like the firefighting arsonist who first sets the blaze and later returns as the hero to put it out.

It’s now eight points from seven games for Nuno. An improvement over the hapless Graham Potter but still well within the realms of disappointment. The next seven games take us through to the end of the year; the halfway stage of the season and the opening of the transfer window. Following the first three of those games, players will depart for AFCON 2025 – and may potentially be missing until the last week of January. It’s a tough run of fixtures during which the Hammers cannot afford to lose touch with our fellow stragglers. A point per game is a minimum return.

Having carved out the two home wins with a solid, dependable and unspectacular 4-3-3, Nuno elected to exercise his tactical chops with a return to a three-man central defence. What might have looked liked a 3-4-3 from the safety of the white board turned into a uninspiring 5-4-1 for most of the game. The driver for change was either to compensate for the absence of Lucas Paqueta, to counter the Cherry’s swift attacking threat, or just for the hell of it. Whatever way, it served to set the tone of the afternoon. The Hammers would be competing as underdogs.

How we have arrived at a situation where Bournemouth (£169 m in revenues and average attendance 11,200) have superior resources and depth to their squad than West Ham (£268 m in revenues and average attendance 62,400) is staggering. But we know the answer, don’t we? It is the direct consequence of the fetid band of grifters, chancers and charlatans in the boardroom responsible for sullying the great name of West Ham United for the past 15 years. As with Robin Banks, the detective, or Clara Knet, the musician, we can see nominative determinism at work here. Sully – verb: to damage, soil, or tarnish a reputation. BS Out!

As for Bournemouth, it is a very well-run club. They ditched a safety-first coach to appoint a progressive, visionary coach in Iraola. They have coped with (and profited from) the lucrative sales of Zabarnyi, Huijsen, Kerkez, Ouattara, and Solanke. And yet still have a more valuable squad than West Ham according to Transfermkt.

Reaching half-time two goals up came as a huge surprise. The lead courtesy of two expertly taken Callum Wilson goals rather than any tactical superiority displayed by the Hammers. How refreshing to have a main striker who understands the role with an opportunistic eye for goal. A great shame he’s not half a dozen years younger.

Apart from the goals, West Ham had been happy to surrender possession for most of the half. But in doing so, managed to limit the Bournemouth threat to a handful of half chances. Aside from a couple of dangerous Malick Diouf crosses, the wing backs rarely left their own half. Both Jarrod Bowen and Luis Guilherme looked uncertain in their narrow roles and too often they occupied the space the wing backs were meant to run into. As a front three, they were never close enough to operate as a functioning unit. And there were never enough attacking bodies in the box at any one time.

Still, it was a nice position to be in at the break. A third win on the bounce was certainly not out of the question. Until everything started to go wrong.

First change (46 minutes): KWP for Guilherme. There was some debate whether this was a tactical switch or due to injury. Introducing KWP had worked well in previous games as a wide midfielder in front of a back four. He appeared to have little idea what to do or what was expected of him as a theroretical part of a front three. Either George Earthy or Soungoutou Magassa would have made more sense as Guilherme replacements.

Second change (52 minutes): Tomas Soucek for Wilson. This was wrong for two reasons. One, it was far too early to take off Wilson who had showed no signs of tiredness – the look on his face said it all. And two, Soucek was the wrong replacement. Deploying him as the main striker was laughable. Iraola had withdrawn one of his central defenders at the break and this change played straight into his hands. The switch should have been delayed for at least another 15 minutes with either a straight Niclas Fullkrug swap or moving Bowen into the centre and introducing Magassa or Earthy behind.

Third change (74 minutes): Fullkrug for Fernandes. A contender for the Most Stupid Substitution of The Month award. Leaving aside the fine individual exploits of Wilson and Alphonse Areola, Fernandes was the standout West Ham performer again. Had Brian Clough been in the dugout he would have hooked Soucek straight off again, having seen how far off the pace he is now in open play. But no, Nuno took off the one player capable of putting in a tackle and holding on to the ball. As it was, Fullkrug was hardly involved – either isolated or lazy depending on your point of view – and Fernandes’ absence opened gaping holes in the midfield for Bournemouth to breeze through.

It beggars belief that any professional manager or coach would come up with Nuno’s cunning five part plan to defend a lead: abandon all attacking intent, remove any outlet for retaining possession, defend as deep as humanly possible, resort to punted upfield clearances to no-one in particular, and invite wave after wave on attacks on their own goal. Madness, surely! It was a basement level of cowardness and caution that would leave even the Moyesiah reeling with embarrassment. And remember, these were tactics developed in the full knowledge that the club has a collection of the flakiest defenders in living memory.

There is often a debate as to whether the on-field approach is down to the players or the tactical instructions prescribed by the coach. All I can say is that at no time did I see Nuno imploring his team to push up or demanding that a higher defensive line be adopted. I can only assume he thought it made sense.

Every watching West Ham supporter would have been fully aware it was only a matter of time before Bournemouth started scoring. It was good fortune that they ran out of time after drawing level. There could have been little argument if they had racked up another two or three goals.

At the final whistle, the disappointment was as much about the manner as the fact of losing a two-goal lead. One second half goal attempt (in the 51^st minute) and 22% possession after the break says it all. Only eight touches in the opposition box all game and no saves for their keeper to make illustrate the luckiest of snatched points, not a hard-fought draw.

The Hammers ended the weekend just outside the relegation places on goal difference. It’s going to a much tougher struggle at the bottom of the league this year. Although two of the promoted clubs currently sit below us, they are stronger sides than we saw promoted the season before. Clubs have learned that survival chances improve immensely when you have physically imposing players scatered around the team. In the modern game it is almost a pre-requisite for every player to be quick, athletic and strong. A lesson that a succession of West Ham managers have been slow to learn.

A shrewd transfer window in January is now essential for survival. And then I read of links to Adama Traore. It’s enough to tear out the few remaining hairs on my head. COYI!

Nuno Re-Discovers His Selection Mojo As West Ham Come Together For A Rare London Stadium Victory

Now you gotta believe us, we’re gonna finish seventeenth! A fresh outbreak of optimism resonates around the London Stadium as the Hammers see off the disappointing challenge of Newcastle United.

Well, that went better than expected, didn’t it?

When I first learned yesterday’s match was scheduled for a Sunday afternoon, I had hoped it was because Newcastle would be returning from a gruelling trek to the easternmost reaches of Kazakhstan for a midweek Champions League fixture. Sadly, that was not the case. All they had needed to contend with was an EFL cup-tie with Tottenham in their latest Spursy iteration.

With West Ham having recorded just three home wins in the previous 12 months – and having lost all four at the London Stadium this season – it promised to be a tough afternoon at the London Stadium.

The good news was that Nuno Espirito Santo had kept away from any mind-bending psychoactive substances before making this week’s team selection. Delusions of left-field tactical brilliance were abandoned, and sanity was restored to the tactics board. A few personnel changes were in place but it was largely back to the basics that had promised much at Everton.

Despite having the strongest possible eleven on the pitch, the early omens were not good. No sooner had Jarrod Bowen’s fine 4^th minute shot cannoned off the upright than the Hammers once again found themselves a goal down. Max Kilman stranded up-field, the defence stretched and Malick Diouf allowing Murphy too much room to rifle home. It was not the start we were hoping for.

In his excellent match preview, Richard likened West Ham’s season to a clapped-out Vauxhall Astra, coughing and spluttering its way along the motorway (as a one-time Astra owner, I was rather perturbed by his choice of model – just don’t mention his Singer Chamois!) Would this early reverse become another hard shoulder to cry on? Was yet another collapse on the cards? How the Hammers reacted might prove a pivotal test of character.

To their credit, the team reacted magnificently. Heads didn’t drop and confidence slowly grew. Who could have predicted that picking pacier players and deploying them in their correct positions would produce much-improved performances? Intensity, energy and desire replacing hesitancy, confusion and negativity. To return to the car analogy: pistons had been realigned, timing corrected, handling improved and the windscreen wipers no longer came on when indicating to turn right.

There were fine performances all over the pitch. Alphonse Areola assertive in his penalty area. The defence compact and solid with the usual gaping midfield hole in front of it removed – we might also doff our caps to Nuno for having the idea of the centre-backs swapping sides. The midfield was energetic, organised and committed. Freddie Potts rightly received the plaudits for the effective simplicity of his game, and the maturity of his first Premier League start, but Mateus Fernandes was also excellent – from crunching tackles to astute passing. And Lucas Paqueta has never played a better ninety minutes for West Ham, despite the frequent falling over being increasingly ignored by referees.

The front three demonstrated a refreshing degree of movement rarely seen at the London Stadium. Bowen and Crysencio Summerville were hungry, available and prepared to carry the ball forward, while Callum Wilson operated as a centre forward should in such a system. Occupying defenders and creating space as the focal point for attacks.

With Wilson unlikely to last the whole game, it was disappointing not to have a backup striker on the bench. The implication is that Nuno doesn’t fancy Callum Marshall. But was it really necessary for Tomas Soucek, Soungoutou Magassa, Andy Irving and Guido Rodriguez to take up four of the allocated spaces?

While the ends may have justified the means, Nuno’s substitutions had introduced an overdose of anxiety into the closing stages. The Hammers finishing the game with three full backs and three central defenders and most of the pace and potential out-balls withdrawn. Hopefully, this was a ‘needs must’ strategy rather than a sign of things to come.

We must say a few words about Big Tom as his half-hour supporting role was Soucek in a condensed nutshell. Getting a boot in the chest at one end when diving in where others fear to head. Then popping up at the other to bundle home the goal that settled our nerves. And in between? About as effective as one of those inflatable tube men you see outside car dealerships.

At face value, it is difficult to reconcile how a team can apparently transform from being a lazy bunch of mercenaries who simply don’t care one week, to becoming a committed, hard-working, cohesive unit the next. My personal view is that it comes down to belief in what you are being asked or instructed to do. Belief underpins individual performance, team dynamic and tactical execution. If you don’t have it, and the margins are paper thin in elite level sport, then your opponent will exploit it. Without belief you will not recover from setbacks like yesterday’s early goal.

So, no more square pegs and round holes and we might start to see upward momentum. And that should lead to fewer taunts about laziness and not caring. The catch though is the lack of quality in depth to cope with injuries and suspensions. We have a mid-table first eleven but a bottom six squad.

It wouldn’t be a Premier League math without a sizeable proportion of the afternoon being taken up by extended VAR reviews. It is difficult to argue with the toenail precision that is now applied as the letter of offside calls rather than to the law’s original spirit. The penalty review, however, was far more perplexing.

The rationale for reversing the decision was based solely on the defender touching the ball before Bowen got to it. That he crashed recklessly into Bowen’s side at the same time apparently having no bearing on events. In any other European league, it is a definite penalty. Even if we choose to interpret the laws differently in England (let’s take back control) then why was the same criteria not applied to an identical incident when Potts was penalised for a tackle a matter of minutes later?

One of the money-making developments that I truly dislike in the modern game is the prevalence of change strips. It’s not a proper Barcodes team if they’re not wearing traditional black and white stripes. Taking the field decked out in Al-Shearwah Saudi Arabian green just isn’t right. According to AI, very few football teams wear green because it clashes with the grass. Sounds improbable but perhaps explains why Newcastle were so poor?

The visitors fearsome and expensively assembled attacking threat never materialised. After the opening goal went in they posed few problems. Woltemade has earned a big reputation but on the day looked as clueless as the succession of failed strikers who have turned out for the Hammers over the years. And as Prince Vultan once asked: “Gordon’s Alive?” Even the Hammer’s long-running nemesis Harvey Barnes failed to make even the slightest impression.

I sense Eddie Howe has plateaued at Newcastle and will soon be known as Eddie Who. My two shillings has already been staked on Andoni Iraola becoming the Magpie’s boss by the start of next season.

Watching Howe complain about West Ham adopting his patented time-wasting tactics was most amusing. The cynicism has the hallmarks of a Nuno innovation who employed it routinely at Forest last season. The mysterious case of a goalkeeper with cramp in both legs is a first and was comical in the extreme. I wish Alphonse a speedy recovery.

A great win. Time now to build on the momentum. COYI!