Richard Bennett

Much Ado About Nuno – The Tragedy of the Claret and Blue – A Halloween Play for West Ham

Characters:
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST (narrator, wise and wry)
NUNO (bewildered manager)
SQUAD (players)
FANS (chorus, multiple voices)
SIR TREVOR BROOKING
PAOLO DI CANIO
BILLY BONDS
SIR GEOFF HURST
MARTIN PETERS
ALAN DEVONSHIRE
JULIAN DICKS
THE STADIUM GHOST (optional, for sound effects and atmosphere)

Scene 1: The Haunted Stadium
(Dim lights. Mist swirls. The faint sound of wind and distant football chants. BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST stands centre stage, scarf draped over his shoulders. FANS hum “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles” softly in the background.)
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST (stepping forward, solemn):
My name is Bobby Moore, Sir Bobby to the fans,
Although my boots are long hung up, my spirit haunts the stands.
I drift through empty terraces, unseen but ever near,
A claret and blue ex-captain, I’ll whisper in your ear.
I watched them train on Halloween, ‘neath Friday’s haunted moon,
Nuno’s boys looked weary, has all hope gone this soon?
(Sound: eerie wind, distant whistle. NUNO paces nervously with a clipboard. SQUAD looks tired.)

Scene 2: The Curse Begins
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST:
At Sunderland the curse began, with three goals, no reply
Then Chelsea came to London, all we did was sigh.
Paqueta’s early magic, then five goals rained in fast,
A London Stadium nightmare, the spell was truly cast.
Brentford, Palace, Tottenham, another haunted three
But sadly all the London teams have danced in victory.

Scene 3: Nuno’s Dilemma
(NUNO stands, looking at his clipboard, confused. SQUAD gathers around.)
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST:
And then the new boss Nuno, his clipboard in his hand,
Making team selections no mortal could understand.
His full backs on the wrong side, and no striker in sight
Callum Wilson on the bench, that really couldn’t be right.
Paqueta as a false nine, and Soucek in the middle
Irving in there too, no pace or power, a riddle.
And what about the centre backs, when corners bring us dread,
Nine goals conceded from set pieces, their boots are filled with lead.
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST (echoing, voice in the mist):
I spoke to the squad, my voice echoing through the mist
I’ve got some questions Nuno, a very lengthy list.
Your choices leave us baffled, I know that you’re the boss
Please get it right this time, we can’t take another loss.

Scene 4: Shadows and Despair
(FANS stand, scarves raised. Shadows creep across the stage. Sound: low, haunting hum.)
FANS:
As fans we sing the anthem, our scarves held to the sky
But shadows creep along the pitch, and hope is running dry.
The echoes of old triumphs, the roar of distant cheers
Are drowned by restless spirits, and mounting modern fears.
The ghosts of Upton Park still wander through the night
They rattle in the rafters, they shiver in the light.
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST:
We long for days of glory, for heroes brave and true
But now we’re left with curses and dreams that won’t come through.
FANS:
The pies are cold and costly, the beer’s a ghostly brew
The players heads are spinning, possessed by something new.
The substitutes are shivering, the bench is freezing cold
They really should be starting that’s if the truth be told.

Scene 5: The Legends Gather
(Fog thickens. LEGENDS appear, each with their own style. Sound: ghostly football crowd, faint cheers and groans.)
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST (introducing the legends):
The spirits of old legends, they gather in the mist
Sir Trev is juggling pumpkins, Di Canio shakes his fist.
Billy Bonds is howling, defend that haunted post
Sir Trev is floating gently, a most polite old ghost
SIR GEOFF HURST (steps forward, swinging his arm):
Now here comes Sir Geoff, people on the pitch, how?
They think that it’s all over, it certainly is now.
The shot that hit the bar, ghosts gather and they groan
But even in the afterlife the answer’s still not known.
MARTIN PETERS (drifting by, pumpkin on head):
Martin Peters drifts by, with a pumpkin on his head,
He’s nutmegging the phantoms, his shirt 16 and red.
Arriving late as ever, that’s how he gets his kicks
And that is why he’s known as the ghost of 66.
ALAN DEVONSHIRE (dancing, hair wild):
Alan Devonshire’s dancing, his hair a haunted mop,
He glides through spectral midfielders, they trip until they drop.
He conjures up a cross, it swerves and disappears—
The keeper’s left bewildered, the crowd erupts in cheers!
JULIAN DICKS (swaggering in, boots muddy):
Julian Dicks arrives, he’s come straight from a rave
He scares off all the wingers, none of them are brave.
A sweet left-footed penalty, he shoots with all his might
But if he played with Nuno he’d be moved to the right.

Scene 6: The Haunted Warning
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST (addressing audience):
So heed this haunted warning to every claret and blue heart
The curse can yet be broken, but all must play their part.
Believe in West ham’s spirit, let courage see us through
And maybe then we’ll lift, the curse of the claret and blue.

Scene 7: The Bubbles and the Dream
(Soft instrumental of “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles” begins. FANS blow bubbles, which float across the stage. Mist glows in the moonlight.)
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST:
And through the misty darkness the bubbles start to rise
They shimmer in the moonlight, heading to the skies.
They fly so high as they nearly reach up to the sky
But just like our dreams they begin to fade and die.
Our fortunes forever hiding as we look around in despair
Just keep on blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air.

Scene 8: The Finale
(Midnight bells chime. The fog rolls off the Thames. LEGENDS fade into the mist. FANS raise scarves, voices strong.)
BOBBY MOORE’S GHOST:
Now the midnight bells start chiming and the fog rolls off the Thames
The legends fade to shadows but the dream it never ends.
Raise your scarves to the heavens as the voices haunt the night
For every ghost in claret and blue still yearns to see us fight.
With fortunes always hiding, pretty bubbles shining through
One day we’ll break the curse and make our dreams come true.
(All join in singing “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles.” Bubbles drift across the stage. Lights fade.)

The End

Bubbles, Bubbles, Toils and Troubles – West Ham’s Spooky Season -A poem for Halloween – ‘The Curse of the Claret and Blue’

As told by the ghost of Bobby Moore, forever watching over West Ham

My name is Bobby Moore, Sir Bobby to the fans
Although my boots are long hung up, my spirit haunts the stands.
I drift through empty terraces, unseen but ever near
A claret and blue ex-captain, I’ll whisper in your ear.
I watched them train on Halloween, ‘neath Friday’s haunted moon
Nuno’s boys looked weary, has all hope gone this soon?

At Sunderland the curse began, with three goals, no reply
Then Chelsea came to London, all we did was sigh.
Paqueta’s early magic, then five goals rained in fast,
A London Stadium nightmare, the spell was truly cast.
Brentford, Palace, Tottenham, another haunted three
But sadly all the London teams have danced in victory.

And then the new boss Nuno, his clipboard in his hand,
Making team selections no mortal could understand.
His full backs on the wrong side, and no striker in sight
Callum Wilson on the bench, that really couldn’t be right.
Paqueta as a false nine, and Soucek in the middle
Irving in there too, no pace or power, a riddle.

And what about the centre backs, when corners bring us dread,
Nine goals conceded from set pieces, their boots are filled with lead.
I spoke to the squad, my voice echoing through the mist
I’ve got some questions Nuno, a very lengthy list.
Your choices leave us baffled, I know that you’re the boss
Please get it right this time, we can’t take another loss.

The fans still sing my anthem, their scarves held to the sky
But shadows creep along the pitch, and hope is running dry.
The echoes of old triumphs, the roar of distant cheers
Are drowned by restless spirits and mounting modern fears.
The ghosts of Upton Park still wander through the night
They rattle in the rafters, they shiver in the light.

We long for days of glory, for heroes brave and true
But now we’re left with curses and dreams that won’t come through.
The pies are cold and costly, the beer’s a ghostly brew
The players heads are spinning, possessed by something new.
The substitutes are shivering, the bench is freezing cold
They really should be starting that’s if the truth be told.

The spirits of old legends, they gather in the mist
Sir Trev is juggling pumpkins, Di Canio shakes his fist.
Billy Bonds is howling, defend that haunted post
Sir Trev is floating gently, a most polite old ghost

Now here comes Sir Geoff, people on the pitch, how?
They think that it’s all over, it certainly is now.
The shot that hit the bar, ghosts gather and they groan
But even in the afterlife the answer’s still not known.

Martin Peters drifts by, with a pumpkin on his head,
He’s nutmegging the phantoms, his shirt 16 and red.
Arriving late as ever, that’s how he gets his kicks
And that is why he’s known as the ghost of 66.

Alan Devonshire’s dancing, his hair a haunted mop,
He glides through spectral midfielders, they trip until they drop.
He conjures up a cross, it swerves and disappears—
The keeper’s left bewildered, the crowd erupts in cheers!

Julian Dicks arrives, he’s come straight from a rave
He scares off all the wingers, none of them are brave.
A sweet left-footed penalty, he shoots with all his might
But if he played with Nuno he’d be moved to the right.

So heed this haunted warning to every claret and blue heart
The curse can yet be broken, but all must play their part.
Believe in West ham’s spirit, let courage see us through
And maybe then we’ll lift, the curse of the claret and blue.

And through the misty darkness the bubbles start to rise
They shimmer in the moonlight, heading to the skies.
They fly so high as they nearly reach up to the sky
But just like our dreams they begin to fade and die.
Our fortunes forever hiding as we look around in despair
Just keep on blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air.

Now the midnight bells start chiming and the fog rolls off the Thames
The legends fade to shadows but the dream it never ends.
Raise your scarves to the heavens as the voices haunt the night
For every ghost in claret and blue still yearns to see us fight.
With fortunes always hiding, pretty bubbles shining through
One day we’ll break the curse and make our dreams come true.

After a poor performance against Brentford on Monday night, West Ham visit Leeds on Friday. Can they turn it around?

I was really hoping that the game against Brentford would be the turning point of our season. But my hopes were dashed with a performance that ranks amongst the worst I have seen in 67 years of following West Ham. How many variations have we seen to describe West Ham on Monday night? Dreadful, poor, abysmal, terrible, appalling, shocking, awful, dire, ghastly, bad, abominable, atrocious, grim, lousy, horrific, shameful, hammered. These are just some of those I have collected so far. No doubt you have seen others. Add your own.

Having grown up with strikers that hunted in pairs, for example Dick and Keeble, Hurst and Byrne, Robson and Cross, Cross and Goddard, McAvennie and Cottee, Morley and Allen, Defoe and Kanoute, Harewood and Sheringham, what did we have to offer up front on Monday night? Not even a lone striker such as Antonio for example. No, we had a ‘false 9’ in Paqueta who to me didn’t look too interested at even being on the pitch. We had an England number 9 sitting on the bench, albeit one past his best but surely he should have been called upon once we were down. But no, five substitutes and he wasn’t even used. When he came on for a cameo at Forest he looked decent enough didn’t he?

What else? We had last year’s Hammer of the Year (Wan Bissaka) sitting on the bench alongside perhaps the shining light and outstanding signing of the summer (Diouf). In their full back places we had Scarles playing at right back (was this the first time he’d ever played there? It looked like it) and Walker-Peters at left back (surely better on the right?). We don’t have a lot to choose from as centre backs but the combination of Kilman and Todibo were never likely to be a match for the strength of Thiago. All over the pitch Brentford looked stronger, more powerful, faster and more assured with the ball.

In midfield we had the pairing of Soucek and Irving. Between them they were no match for Henderson on his own let alone the others in the Brentford midfield. Where was Magassa? Wasn’t he the kind of player we signed to provide more energy in midfield? Bowen and Fernandes were way off their best and Summerville could perhaps have been more useful with a centre forward on the pitch.

Without dwelling too much on the statistics of the game they do tell a story. We were completely outplayed in every category—xG, shots (22-7), shots on target (7-1), touches in the opponent’s box (42-14), possession, passing accuracy, and many others. We were at home against Brentford, not a top half side.

So, after playing the final match of the last matchday we are first up on the next one when we travel to Leeds on Friday night. Previous fixtures have little significance as to what is likely to happen, but in those meetings Leeds have beaten us more than twice as many times as we’ve beaten them, but we’ve won four of the last six. And the last time we met them on a Friday night we beat them. But that’s clutching at straws!

After Monday night I am expecting very little. Leeds are slight odds on to win the game whereas we are little more than 3/1. Anyone who saw us on Monday night wouldn’t waste their money.

These are just some of the comments from Nuno’s press conference on Wednesday:

“When the game against Brentford finished, we need to take the frustration, commitment and motivation so that we can play better. This is the step we need to take. Individually we have to improve our players. We need to improve their fitness, tactical awareness – everything. Then, we concede a lot of set-pieces – too much – but we defend them pretty well. We are improving on that but we need to improve on not conceding. Some of them are easy situations we can solve. So we are working on that. It’s not only set-pieces or being compact. It’s about improving overall. We didn’t do enough offensively against Brentford. We need to have the freedom to attack. But it’s difficult to find that balance.”

Can we do all this before Friday night? I’m really hoping that we can be a lot better but there was little to suggest that will be the case. Things don’t look promising do they?

Can Nuno secure a second win over Brentford this season when the Bees visit West Ham in the Monday night match?

I have long been critical of the frequent international breaks which come thick and fast at the start of each football season as they disrupt the momentum after only a handful of Premier League matches. Traditionally three breaks occur in the months of September, October and November with just eleven games of the season having elapsed when the third one occurs. However in 2026 the two week October break will disappear as part of a move that will see the September one extended to three weeks which will add an additional week for domestic football in the calendar.

The game on Monday night when Brentford visit the London Stadium marks the end of the second international break in 2025-26 with only seven games played so far. It has been a terrible start to the season with just one win and one draw and five defeats. We have four points and sit in 19^th place with the most goals conceded and the worst goal difference. And of course we have a new manager.

We are now two games into the Nuno Espirito Santo era and despite losing to Arsenal in which the team failed to register a shot on target, overall things seem relatively positive compared to how they seemed before he was appointed. And despite my previous comments regarding my dislike of the international breaks this early in the season perhaps this break has come at the perfect time for West Ham. We have already seen some signs of improvement in our performances since Nuno’s arrival but having two solid weeks to work with his players without the distraction of having to prepare for games has been vital in ensuring he gets his message across effectively.

Of course a number of key first team players have been away with their respective national teams, but at least the ‘non-internationals’ remaining behind will have had time with the new manager to work, learn and adapt to yet another new tactical approach. Additionally the fact that our game is the last one in this matchday as it is being played on Monday night gives the returning ‘internationals’ more time to recover and spend some time with the rest of the squad and especially Nuno to prepare for the game.

With fixtures against Brentford and Leeds United up next, we have an opportunity to start securing some much-needed points on the board and start climbing the Premier League table. Although no Premier League games are easy, these fixtures are more favourable than those coming up in November when we face Newcastle, Burnley, Bournemouth and Liverpool – even though three of these are at home. It’s about time our home record improved, because if it does not we could then be in serious trouble.

On the evidence of Nuno’s first two games alone, there is increased optimism that we may go into the next two with greater hopes than we had before his appointment. However failure to win either of them might lead to further panic and despair so soon after yet another managerial change. This is a pivotal period coming up. No wins out of these next two games and things will be beginning to look bleak for our prospects of continuing in the top flight. But success, or perhaps at least four points, would mean that we could perhaps start to look forward with renewed hope.

Brentford were promoted to the Premier League in the 2020-2021 season finishing third in the league and coming up via the play-offs together with Norwich and Watford who were automatically promoted. Unlike the other two (who are now languishing back in the Championship) Brentford have consolidated their place under Thomas Frank, one of the best managers around (in my opinion). As a result he moved on to Tottenham who have made a big improvement this season compared to last. It remains to be seen if Keith Andrews can do as well as Frank. Brentford have seven points from their opening seven fixtures with two wins (Manchester United & Aston Villa) and a draw against Chelsea. They sit in 16^th but we can match their points tally if we can win. But even a win can’t take us out of the bottom three unless it is by four goals or more (unlikely!). Nevertheless it is important to start picking up points sooner rather than later if we want to avoid a gap forming ahead of the relegation zone.

In the four seasons since their promotion we have a poor record against them. Although we won an FA Cup tie on their ground we have only beaten them once in the league, drawing once, and losing six times. Our sole victory was a 4-2 win the season before last which included a Jarrod Bowen hat-trick. Our captain has scored five of the eight goals we’ve scored against them in those eight league games, but we have conceded fifteen.

Current form is against us, and recent history of games against Brentford is against us, but nonetheless bookmakers still make us favourites, albeit slight, to win the game. Perhaps they sense the improvement under our new manager, or perhaps it’s because Brentford haven’t picked up a single point away from home, losing 2-1 at Sunderland, 3-1 at Forest (with Nuno as the manager) and 3-1 at Fulham. Can Nuno secure a second win over Brentford this season?

What do we know about Nuno Espirito Santo, West Ham’s fourth manager in less than 18 months

When I wrote last week’s article ‘If West Ham were to appoint a new manager who would it be?’ which was published last Friday little did I know that just 24 hours later we would know the answer. It was no secret that Graham Potter’s position was under significant internal scrutiny with managerial alternatives being considered. He was under growing pressure to keep his job following a massively disappointing start to the season.

Nuno Espirito Santo, who had been sacked by Nottingham Forest following their home defeat to West Ham, was the odds-on favourite to replace him and that was what happened. That’s quite ironical isn’t it? Nuno was dismissed in the first international break and it was widely believed that the next break would signal the end of Potter. But the sack arrived sooner than we expected, but not before time. As was written in the statement on Saturday morning ‘results and performances over the course of the second half of last season and the start of the 2025-26 season have not matched expectations.’

You can say that again, 19^th in the Premier League table, six wins in 25 games, and an inability to defend corners which has resulted in seven goals conceded, an astonishing statistic that he appeared to have no idea how to reverse. In fact he struggled badly and seemed to be at a total loss in so many areas of managing a top-flight football team.

So who are we getting? What do we know about Nuno, who has become our fourth manager in less than 18 months? He retired as a goalkeeper at Porto in 2010 and began his coaching career as a goalkeeping coach. In 2012, Rio Ave, a Portuguese top division side, announced his appointment as manager and in his second season in charge, his team reached two major domestic finals as he led them to the UEFA Europa League for the first time in their history.

He became manager of Valencia in La Liga (Spain) in 2014 and led them to a fourth place finish in his first season. He was named La Liga Manager of the Month three times but resigned in the 2015-16 season after a poor start to their domestic and Champions League campaigns.

In 2016, he signed a two-year contract with Porto, however after a season with no silverware but a second-place finish in the league, he was sacked at the end of just one season.

In 2017, he became the new head coach of Championship club Wolves, signing a three-year contract. He led the club to the Premier League after a six-year absence, achieving promotion with four matches remaining in the season and being confirmed as champions with two games to spare. Wolves finished seventh in the 2018–19 league season; it was the club’s highest Premier League finish, and their highest in the top-flight since the 1979–80 season when they finished sixth. They also qualified for a European competition for the first time since the 1980–81 UEFA Cup, reaching the UEFA Europa League.

The 2019-20 season that was interrupted by Covid saw Nuno’s team achieve a second consecutive seventh-place finish in the Premier League (with a record points total for Wolves in the Premier League of 59), and reach the quarter-finals of the UEFA Europa League, the club’s best such performance since being finalists in the 1971–72 UEFA Cup. At the end of the following season Wolves announced that Nuno would leave the club by mutual consent at the end of the season.

In June 2021, Tottenham Hotspur announced Nuno as their new head coach on a two-year contract with an option to extend for a third year. He achieved the best start to a Premier League season for Tottenham with three wins from their first three matches. He won the Premier League Manager of the Month award for August, but on 1 November, after his team lost 3–0 at home to Manchester United, their fifth loss in seven matches and which left them ninth in the table, he was dismissed after less than four months in charge and was replaced the following day by Antonio Conte.

In July 2022, he was appointed by Al-Ittihad in the Saudi Pro League. He won the 2022 Saudi Super Cup in January 2023 and also won the club’s first league title in 14 years that season. He was sacked in November 2023, two days after a 2–0 loss to an Iraqi club in the Champions League.

In December 2023, he was appointed head coach of Nottingham Forest. He helped to secure the club’s survival from relegation with a 17th-placed finish. In his second season by January 2025, Forest sat third in the Premier League table on the 40 points defying the expectations of most pundits, who had predicted at the start of the season that Forest would struggle and get relegated. He became the first Forest manager to win the Premier League Manager of the Month award three times in a single season. The club eventually finished seventh and qualified for the Europa League, their first participation in European football in 30 years.

In June 2025, Nuno signed a new contract to stay with Nottingham Forest until 2028. However in September he was dismissed after three Premier League games of the season. The sacking seemed to arise due to his relationship with Forest’s owner Marinakis. Surely it was nothing to do with results!

One thing that stands out is the fact that in every case, more games have been won than lost in all seven clubs Nuno has previously managed. The same cannot be said for Graham Potter, Julen Lopetegui or David Moyes. It was a promising start at the Hill Dickinson stadium on Monday night, especially in the second half. I won’t look at the playing style of the teams he has managed at this stage; we’ll see how it transpires at West Ham in the coming weeks.

If West Ham were to appoint a new manager who would it be?

It’s no real secret that Graham Potter’s position is under significant internal scrutiny with managerial alternatives now being considered. He is under growing pressure to keep his job following a massively disappointing start to the season that plunged to new depths following last Saturday’s home defeat by Crystal Palace. Even prior to Saturday’s loss – our fourth from five Premier League games – it was widely reported that we had started the process of identifying potential replacements for Potter. He is the odds on next Premier Manager to leave his post at 3/10. Ruben Amorin is next on the list at 15/2.

Nuno Espirito Santo, recently sacked by Nottingham Forest, is understood to be among the options we have identified and is currently the favourite to be our next permanent manager. All sorts of stories exist about him being interviewed by Karren Brady and being spotted in Theydon Bois, close to the home of David Sullivan, Birch Hall, his palatial mansion nearby. The prospect of Slaven Bilic who has previously played and managed us returning on a short-term basis has apparently also been discussed internally. According to the betting odds these appear to be the two standout candidates.

We have not won a Premier League game in front of our own supporters since 27 February and have lost all three home matches this season to London rivals Chelsea, Tottenham and Crystal Palace. We have now lost our opening three home league games for the second consecutive season. Despite defeat, Potter described the performance against Palace as “spirited”. Asked if he still felt he had the support of the club’s board, Potter said: “Yeah, I’ve no reason to think not.”

Before Saturday’s game, thousands of West Ham fans protested against how the club is run and called for chairman David Sullivan and vice-chair Karren Brady to step down. But it seems very unlikely that it will happen in the foreseeable future.

So what next? With no change at the very top of the club a new manager will surely be appointed sometime soon, perhaps at the beginning of the international break? But what will happen if (in the extremely unlikely event) we manage to win at Everton and (even more unlikely) at Arsenal too? Will the manager be kept on? I seem to remember a similar situation when Lopetegui was manager.

So what are the odds on who will be West Ham’s next permanent manager? These change regularly according to who has been spotted where and other rumours that circulate. But the latest list that I saw read as follows:

Nuno Espirito Santo 4/7, Slaven Bilic 5/4, Gary O’Neil 5/1, Sean Dyche 12/1, Michael Carrick 14/1, Scott Parker 16/1, Liam Rosenior 20/1, Eden Terzic 25/1, Kieran McKenna 25/1, Gareth Southgate 25/1, Michael Beale 25/1, and then a whole host of others at 33/1 including Steven Gerrard, Brendan Rogers, Damien Duff, Frank Lampard, Danny Rohl, Lee Carsley, Chris Hughton, John O’Shea, Marco Rose, Ole Gunnar Solksjaer, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Robbie Keane, Ralph Hasenhutl.

Who do you think it might be? Do you fancy a flutter?

Just four games into the Premier League season, but West Ham’s match against Crystal Palace on Saturday could be crucial for Graham Potter.

I’ll begin this article by referring you to Geoff’s excellent Monday briefing this week. It says it all really. Perhaps I can try to cheer you up?

Is the game against Crystal Palace a ‘must-win’ for Graham Potter? The pressure is surely building. West Ham have suffered league defeats to Chelsea, Tottenham and Sunderland to start the 2025/26 season; We have conceded the most goals (11), the most goals from set pieces (6) with all six arriving from corners. We have the worst goal difference (-7) equal with pointless Wolves, the biggest differential of goals conceded versus expected goals conceded (xGA) and sit eighteenth in the table. It’s not yet a relegation struggle but early indicators suggest that it may soon become one. Having said that one win could propel us into the top half of the table! But can we win this Saturday?

Derby defeats to Chelsea and Tottenham never go down well especially at home. But somehow they might have been bearable if we had been in the game and not capitulated once falling behind. Once Chelsea went 2-1 up, and after the second-half whistle went against Tottenham, we crumbled under the pressure. It didn’t take a lot for us to collapse. The 3-0 loss to newly-promoted Sunderland was the same after the first goal was conceded. A similar defeat to Crystal Palaceat the London Stadium on Saturday will be hard for us to take.

The manager’s record since arrival makes poor reading. It is in the Avram Grant area when it comes to winning matches. It’s eleven home games in the league, two wins, eleven away games in the league, four wins. As a manager Potter has faced Palace ten times and beaten them twice (4 defeats 4 draws). He says that everyone at the club is singing from the same hymn sheet. It’s just a shame that instead of singing ‘The Mighty Fortress Is Our God’ our keeper and defenders are singing ‘When I Survey The Wondrous Cross’.

One piece of nonsense I’ve read in the past week is saying that our keeper Mads is too small at 6ft 1.3ins. The tallest Premier League keeper is Nick Pope at around 6ft 5ins and most of the keepers are within an inch or two of Hermansen. In fact two Premier League keepers are shorter than Mads, they are Jordan Pickford and David Raya, and they do rather a good job and can command their areas well. I’m sure Mads is probably a decent shot stopper. He needs to be coached properly and convinced that he is allowed to leave his line and not leave it to our zonal marking defenders to try to win crosses that are landing within a couple of yards of the goal line.

Earlier I wrote about our abysmal record of conceding goals from corners (6 in just 4 games). We also have a big lead in conceding corners this season (32 in the four games). Every club (other than us!) seems to have analysts who have worked out our achilles heel. Ironically Palace have won fewer corners than all the other teams and are currently bottom of the league for winning them. If they have done their homework I reckon they’ll be moving swiftly up that particular table by Saturday evening.

Do you fancy some more positive statistics? Overall in history we have beaten Palace more times than they have beaten us. But if we take a look at the last three seasons in isolation then in the six games played we have lost four of them, winning just once, the 2-0 victory at Selhurst Park last season when Palace began the season very poorly.

Let’s broaden it a little and take the last six seasons into consideration. We have beaten Palace three times in those 12 games, all victories in South London. But we haven’t beaten them in the last six home games against them. That’s right you have to go back to December 2018 for the last time we collected three points against them at the London Stadium. Snodgrass, Hernandez and Anderson were our scorers in a 3-2 win that day. Of all the players on duty that day either in the starting eleven or on the bench only two could possibly be playing this Saturday. Fabianski was in goal for West Ham – could he make a return after he left the club in the summer? The other one was Wan-Bissaka who was playing for Palace that day but is supposedly not available for the game.

Let’s try a different tack and look at our recent form against all teams at the London Stadium. We haven’t won any of our last seven home Premier League games. The last three have been awful; we have lost them all scoring just twice and conceding ten. The last time we lost four home league games in a row Manuel Pellegrini was the manager. He never managed another game for us at the London Stadium. There’s a warning for you Mr. Potter.

Let’s look at Palace’s form away from home now. They have lost just two of their last seventeen away Premier League matches keeping nine clean sheets in their previous 15 on the road. Their previous nine away clean sheets beforehand came over a spell of 51 games. They have been very formidable on their travels.

All these statistics don’t make for good reading do they? Some questions in my mind as I write this. How did Kilman cost £40 million? How did Todibo cost £35 million? Will Brighton’s sixth choice Brazilian centre back on loan with us turn out to be an improvement on our other much costlier centre backs? Who will play in goal, Hermansen, Areola or Fabianski? I reckon Hermansen will keep his place. What has happened to Wan-Bissaka this season? How many corners will Palace get? Have we worked out how to deal with them? How many of my predicted ten outfield players will start the game? They are: Walker-Peters, Julio, Kilman, Diouf, Paqueta, Magassa, Fernandes, Bowen, Summerville, Wilson. There are some others I’d like to see given more minutes – Guilherme, Potts and Irving are three of them.

Do you think we can turn things around?

West Ham entertain Tottenham this weekend, things are looking up, and we look back on great memories of some previous encounters

We line up against our old foes from North London on Saturday evening in a much better frame of mind than existed just two games into the season. Before the games which preceded the international break we sat at the bottom of the Premier League table with zero points and two terrible displays against Sunderland and Chelsea as well as being dumped out of the Carabao Cup at Wolves. Spurs on the other hand had comfortably beaten Burnley and won away at Manchester City and were at the top.

But in the games in Matchweek 3 we comprehensively beat Nottingham Forest 3-0 with late goals, Fernandes had an excellent debut, the cameo return and pace of Summerville changed the game, and Wilson showed that he can be a short-term asset if he can stay fit. Diouf showed he could be the buy of the window, strong defensively and a superb crosser of the ball, and Walker-Peters had an equally impressive game on the other flank. Mavropanos and Kilman were much happier as two (rather than three) central defenders, Paqueta looked happier and looked like he might be returning to his best, and Bowen was his usual impressive, energetic self. He might have even scored the goal of the season had Wilson not unfortunately intervened, but it was 3-0 by then so it didn’t really matter from the team perspective, although it was still a little sad.

Hermansen looks to have settled and although he wasn’t tested too much he did all that was asked of him comfortably which hopefully will settle the hysteria that surrounded his first couple of games. And we still have high hopes for Magassa and Igor Julio, Wan-Bissaka, the under-rated Irving, the under-used Guilherme and the other youngsters (Earthy, Potts, Marshall, Scarles) as well as the other stalwarts in the squad. If only Potter can integrate our pacey players into his system it can only get better.

Tottenham were brought down to earth with a 1-0 defeat at home to a very under-rated Bournemouth team, so a win and we can be level with them on points!

With matches going back to the end of the nineteenth century West Ham have faced Tottenham so many times, with our North London neighbours having the upper hand more often than we have. My memories only go back to 1958 but as I was only four at the time I can barely remember my second ever visit to Upton Park on 25^th December 1958. That’s right – the date is correct – we faced Tottenham at Upton Park on Christmas Day. Regular buses ran along the Barking Road from Canning Town when I went to the game with my dad and uncle. It had a morning kick off at 11 o’clock. All I do remember is that John Dick (my first ever West Ham hero) and Vic Keeble scored the goals in a 2-1 win. I was also aware that the return fixture took place at White Hart Lane the following day and we won that 4-1 with Dick and Keeble once again amongst the goalscorers.

The next game against Tottenham that I remember being at came very early in the season that followed their double winning season. On a hot August Monday evening in 1961 we beat them 2-1 again. Once again I remember little of the game but there was also great jubilation amongst the adults I was with. All of my early games were viewed from the old West Stand.

In the 1963-64 season we won our first ever FA Cup. We had two terrific cup runs in that campaign as we also reached the semi-final of the League Cup. On my 10^th birthday the first leg of the League Cup semi final was played away at Leicester and although we lost I was happy with the result, a 4-3 defeat with the second leg to come at Upton Park later. (Unfortunately we lost 2-0 at home in the return!). But on the Saturday which followed the first leg one of my birthday treats was a visit to Upton Park with Tottenham the visitors. We gave them quite a thrashing, 4-0 to be precise. Geoff Hurst and Johnny Byrne were among the goalscorers on that freezing cold afternoon.

The game that really stands out in my memory came a few months later, early in our European Cup Winners Cup winning season of 1964-65. On a warm sunny early September afternoon, just five days after we had put five goals past Wolves on a Monday night, Spurs came to Upton Park. In what turned out to be a game where one player of either side stood out I remember an entertaining game which in the end had the result I hoped for. Nine of our cup winning team lined up that day with two changes, a surprise at centre half where the versatile Martin Peters wore the number 5 shirt and Alan Sealey replacing Peter Brabrook on the right wing.

In an entertaining first half Geoff Hurst ran from the halfway line deep into the Tottenham half and released a superb pass to Johnny Byrne who calmly slotted home past (I think) Jennings in the opposition goal. We went into the interval holding a 1-0 lead. Spurs were on top early in the second half and a mazy run and cross down the right wing by (I think) Jimmy Robertson landed at the feet of Jimmy Greaves who calmly sidefooted the equaliser. Both teams were looking for a winner when West Ham had pushed up too far and Spurs broke away leaving (I think) Robertson again one on one with Jim Standen in our goal. He went round him and Standen brought him down. A blatant penalty which Greaves calmly sent Standen the wrong way and once again calmly slotted into the opposite corner.

West Ham were pressing forward trying for an equaliser when Boyce who was having an influential game was pushed in the penalty area and it was our turn for a penalty. Unfortunately Jennings went the right way and saved the (weak?) spot kick that Byrne took so we were still trailing 2-1. That was one of only two penalties that he missed for West Ham. But we continued to attack and a wonderful cross from Boyce was met by an outstanding header from Byrne (not noted for his heading ability) to level the scores at 2-2. We continued to attack the South Bank and from a corner close to the end Geoff Hurst rose high to head the ball towards goal and it was scrambled home by Byrne to complete his hat-trick. A great afternoon.

Apparently the game was the first ever time we appeared on Match of the Day which began broadcasting three weeks earlier at the beginning of the season. In those days they only showed highlights from one game. The game that they selected was not announced in advance and information was not released on TV until 4pm on the day when the game was in its second half. They were worried that fans would stay away from games to watch the game on TV. How times change! It made no difference to me as Match of the Day was shown on BBC2 then in the early evening and our TV couldn’t get BBC2. But I do remember watching parts of some games through the window of a TV rentals shop in Canning Town as I waited at the bus stop with my parents for the Green Line bus to take us home to Rainham.

Other things I remember from those 1950s and 1960s games were the lack of argument following the awarding of penalty kicks with virtually no time between the offence and the kick being taken. And do you remember that when goals were scored whole toilet rolls were thrown onto the pitch from behind the goals. What was that all about?

The four games I’ve highlighted all happened by the time I was just ten years old. There have been other excellent wins since, a 5-3 in 1976 when we had five different goalscorers, Bonds, Brooking, Curbishley, Jennings and Pop Robson, a 4-1 on New Years Eve 1983 (Brooking, Cottee, Martin and Stewart) and a 4-3 in 1997 (Dicks 2 with one net breaking penalty, Hartson and Kitson). And a couple of very satisfying 1-0 victories too. Lanzini’s second half winner in 2017 and Antonio’s in 2021 come to mind. I’ve concentrated on the home games but some notable matches in North London too, perhaps one of the best was recovering a 3-0 deficit from the first 15 minutes of the game with three goals in the last ten minutes to draw 3-3. There have been lots of defeats too (too many really) but I prefer to forget them.

Bottom of the table West Ham visit the City Ground on Sunday

(Part of the Reasons Not To Be Cheerful series)

The range of subjects that can be studied these days is extensive. This week I came across an examination paper set for a group who are on a Football Satirical Studies course. They have to sit a topical examination throughout the duration of the course and this week’s paper related to West Ham. I included a copy of the paper in my article yesterday. There is a follow up paper for keen students where the Nottingham Forest v West Ham game this Sunday is previewed – I thought you might like to take a look.

Football Studies: West Ham vs Nottingham Forest – Hope, Hype & Humiliation Examination Paper

Module: Premier League Prognostics

Date of Fixture: Sunday 31st August 2025

Duration: 90 minutes – After 45 minutes you are allowed a 15 minute break (time may be added on at the end of each half of the exam at the discretion of the invigilator – just ask if you need more time – you probably will!)

Instructions: Answer all questions. Use tactical insight, historical trauma, and gallows humour. Cite Chris Wood sparingly. Emotional outbursts are permitted in moderation, although marks will be deducted (whether justified or not) for expletives. No marks will be deducted for incorrect spelling of Nuno Espirito Santo or Evangelos Marinakis although you are expected to refer to them throughout the answers to the questions. Additional marks will be given for appropriate use of Brian Clough quotes.

Section A: Tactical Forecasting (30 marks)

1. Using Forest’s 3-1 win over Brentford and West Ham’s 1-5 loss to Chelsea, model the expected possession split, shot count, touches in opponent’s penalty area and defensive errors. Include projected minutes until West Ham concede their first goal.

2. Evaluate the threat posed by Chris Wood, who has scored 13 league goals at the City Ground since last season—second only to Mo Salah. How should West Ham’s backline prepare, assuming they remember how to mark?

3. Discuss the impact of West Ham’s belated transfer dealings this week.

Section B: Psychological Warfare (30 marks)

4. Discuss the mental state of West Ham fans heading into the City Ground, where Forest have won their last four home games against the Hammers without conceding. Include coping mechanisms and chants of defiance.

5. Critique Graham Potter’s motivational strategy after two league defeats, eight goals conceded, and one goal scored. Should he quote Churchill, channel Allardyce, or simply apologise?

6. Nottingham Forest are fresh off Europa League qualification. Debate whether this fixture is a mismatch in ambition, form, or just basic competence.

Section C: Creative Prognosis (40 marks)

7. Write a fictional match report for a Forest win. Include tactical breakdown, fan reactions, and a post-match quote from Potter that subtly blames the pitch, the weather or any other laughable excuse.

8. Compose a pre-match team talk for West Ham, delivered by a disillusioned club legend. The tone of the talk should mix part Shakespearean tragedy with part East End pub rant.

9. Design a fan protest banner that captures the existential dread of travelling to Nottingham with zero points and a minus-seven goal difference. Bonus marks for rhyming.

10. “West Ham’s chances this weekend have been described as being like their midfield – thin, confused, and negligible.” Discuss this statement using metaphor, irony, and historical parallels. How will the club’s late flurry in the transfer market this week change the outcome?

West Ham United – in crisis after just three games?

(Part of the Reasons Not To Be Cheerful series)

The range of subjects that can be studied these days is extensive. This week I came across an examination paper set for a group who are on a Football Satirical Studies course. They have to sit a topical examination throughout the duration of the course and this week’s paper related to West Ham. I thought you may be interested to read it and perhaps consider your thoughts and answers to the questions that were set. The paper was set before the recent flurry of transfer activity where priority finally looks to have been given to the midfield.

Football Studies: West Ham United – Crisis & Identity Examination Paper

Module: Premier League Disillusionment 2025/26

Instructions: Answer all questions. Use examples from West Ham’s opening fixtures and broader footballing context. Emotional outbursts are permitted in moderation, although marks will be deducted (whether justified or not) for expletives.

Section A: Tactical Analysis (30 marks)

1. Dissect the defensive structure employed by Graham Potter in the 3-0 defeat and second half capitulation to Sunderland and the 5-1 collapse against Chelsea. How did tactical choices contribute to conceding eight goals in the first two league games, not forgetting three further goals in the 3-2 defeat at Wolves which meant an early exit from the Carabao Cup? Does it make sense to employ three centre halves?

2. Evaluate the role of Mads Hermansen in West Ham’s early-season form. Consider his save percentage, distribution, and errors leading to goals. Should Potter persist with him or should Areola get another chance? Should the club have considered others e.g. Ramsdale, Victor, Onana and others?

3. Assess the impact of Mohammed Kudus’ departure and the failure to adequately replace him. How has this affected West Ham’s attacking cohesion and Jarrod Bowen’s effectiveness? Did Tottenham get a bargain or were West Ham pleased to get £55 million for him given his form in the 2024-25 season?

Section B: Club Culture & Management (30 marks)

4. Discuss the psychological effect of starting the season at the bottom of the table after two games and the poorest start ever to a top flight campaign. How might this influence squad morale, fan sentiment, and managerial decision-making?

5. Critique the board’s transfer strategy. Was the recruitment of Diouf, Hermansen, Walker-Peters and Wilson sufficient? Should greater priority have been given to the midfield, especially the acquisition of players with pace and power and box to box attributes? What does the pursuit of John Victor and their scattergun approach to targets suggest about panic buying and planning?

6. Karen Brady insists the club “won’t panic.” Debate the merits and risks of board and managerial patience in the Premier League.

Section C: Creative Reflection (40 marks)

7. Write a fictional post-match interview with Graham Potter after the Chelsea defeat. Include tactical justifications, emotional tone, and coded boardroom pleas.

8. Compose a fan’s open letter to the club, or to an individual such as the Chairman perhaps, expressing frustration, hope, and a plea for authenticity. Draw on themes of tradition, community, and the erosion of identity.

9. Design a grassroots-inspired reform plan for West Ham. Imagine a club reset: youth investment, supporter involvement, and a return to unpredictability and the West Ham Way.

10. “West Ham’s start is not just poor – it’s poetic.” Discuss this statement using metaphor, irony, and historical parallels.