West Ham Monday Briefing: No Blue Moon Shine for Lopetegui plus Nostradamus on the January Transfer Window

Something is seriously awry when the expected nervous anxiety of pre-match tension can be completely replaced by an overwhelming fear of impending embarrassment. Thus is the lot of a West Ham supporter as we enter 2025. The academy of failure and disappointment!

Julen Lopetegui made four changes to the starting eleven to face Manchester City on Saturday. Jean-Clair Todibo and Vladimir Coufal were the latest revisions to an ever changing defensive line, Tomas Soucek returned from suspension in place of Carlos Soler, and Niclas Fullkrug replaced the injured Jarrod Bowen.

The official West Ham website was coy on the exclusion of Emerson stating only that he was absent from the squad. He may well have picked up an injury, but the dearth of information served only to fuel speculation that he was packing his bags ready for a return to Italy to enjoy his football and pasta like his great-grandmother used to make. Instead of a natural left-sided replacement (Aaron Cresswell or Ollie Scarles) the coach opted to shuffle Aaron Wan-Bissaka to the other side of the pitch. While AWB can operate with some competence as an emergency stand-in left back, it is an unnatural and less effective position for him to be selected for. Still, we are mere fans and not highly paid, experienced coaches.

Having seen several Manchester City games in recent weeks, it was apparent that their greatest attacking threat currently came down the left through Savinho – a huge upgrade for City over Grealish or Doku. It was, therefore, a brave decision to award the job of marking him to the fast-fading Coufal. Bravery here crossing the line into foolishness.

Soucek was the latest unsuitable candidate to be given the honour of wearing the captain’s armband. Tom is another who is too quiet to act as an on-field leader. And with a mere 39 touches and a woeful team-worst pass completion rate of 56% he wasn’t exactly leading by example either. Even in the pre-match huddle he delegated the call to arms to Edson Alvarez. I think many of us had believed Max Kilman had been signed by Lopetegui for his skipper/ leadership qualities but apparently this is not the case – and not the reason for the inflated transfer fee paid.

A common comment from fans is that (even after 20 games) Lopetegui doesn’t know his best team. For me, it goes far deeper than that in that he has been unable to settle upon a setup where formation/ style/ identity matches the players at his disposal to execute it. To the outside observer the idea of playing to your strengths – creating a whole that is greater than the sum of the parts – is the fundamental requirement of any elite level coach. Otherwise, all that remains is a dream. Something that is great in theory but horrible in practice – like making love in a Triumph Herald.

In truth, West Ham had some fine first half moments against the least intimidating City side we have seen for many a year. Several presentable goalscoring opportunities were spurned before eventually falling behind to an unfortunate own goal. And the chance of a breakaway equaliser was denied when Lancashire born referee, Michael Salisbury, erroneously whistled for a foul by Crysencio Summerville in an obvioulsy fair tussle with Akanji. But today’s Hammers are perennially vulnerable, and the inevitable Haaland goals either side of the break settled the game in the host’s favour.

The injury to Bowen is a massive blow to the Hammers. It’s not clear how long it takes to recover from a fractured foot – anywhere between a few hours (Stuart Pearce) and three years (Andy Carrol) based on prior injury experience. If he is missing for the best part of two months, my expected 14^th place finishing position must be revised downwards to 15^th. Both Manchester United and Crystal Palace are sure to overtake us.  

Judging by the various comments trawled through online, I am in a rapidly reducing minority who believe the club have a decent set of players but are hamstrung by a coach who either has no plan, or is unable to communicate it to the team. If the internet is to be believed, only Bowen is routinely excused from criticism while the rest of the squad goes something like this:

Areola (showy, weak), Coufal (past it), Kilman (slow, overpriced), Todibo (sulky, injury-prone), Mavropanos (accident waiting to happen), Wan-Bissaka (thinks he’s a winger), Alvarez (erratic, blundering), Soucek (cumbersome, slow), Rodriguez (even slower), Soler (Guy Fawkes lookalike), Paqueta (fraud), Kudus (greedy), Fullkrug (donkey/ cart horse), Summerville (light-weight).

If they really are as bad as that, we may as well pack up and go home. It’s not that many of the current crop would make it into any dream team – and significant gaps do exist in the squad – but I see the failure as systemic rather than down to individuals. The woeful defensive record in particular being a function of the huge gaps and space built into the system by design, rather than the fault of whatever group of players make up the back four in any particular week. It’s almost guaranteed to make chumps of anyone unfortunate enough to play in it.

In a game of opinions, we each like to apportion blame in different orders of magnitude – Sullivan, Lopetegui, Steidten, or the players have all been targeted. But Sullivan is going nowhere voluntarily, Steidten’s role should be a longer-term play (if he is allowed to do it), and it will take an age (and is unaffordable) to replace all the players. That is the why it is the coach who must go if a change of fortune is to be enjoyed. His appointment was a mistake and those who made it must be big enough to admit it.

Several media sources have claimed exclusives on the real reason why West Ham might not sack Lopetegui any time soon. And that is the arcane world of modern football finances. Although presented as a huge reveal it is something we have mentioned here on a number of occasions previously. It will cost money to pay up the contracts of Lopetegui and his entourage – and that money must come from the same PSR pot available for potential transfer dealings. Buying a replacement out of his contract would have even more impact. It is a reality that cannot be put down solely to parsimony on the Board’s part. And explains why the owners might be prepared to limp along to the summer when player sales (Paqueta and Kudus) can reset the size of the pot to PSR in.

January Transfer Window Now Open

Rather than rely on the insider transfer gossip spewing daily from the Give Me The West Ham News Zone websites, I decided to consult the ancient musings of French astrologer, Nostradamus, for any breaking news stories. The probability of accuracy is equally reliable .

As we all know, Nostradamus was a celebrated 16^th century pundit – a medieval Mark Lawrenson, if you like – who favoured a more traditional IV – IV -II formation and opted to publish his quillbait in the form of quatrains, or poetic verse. Critics claim his writings are cryptic, ambiguous, or incomprehensible. Not so very different from today’s media and this column in that sense – or Lopetegui’s tactics, come to that.

Of 942 assorted predictions made by Nostradamus, we have unearthed three that mention iron or irons:

“When in a Fish, Iron and a Letter shall be shut up,
He shall go out, that afterwards shall make War,“
Some scholars believe the fish references a potential swoop for Brighton defender Tariq LAMPREY. Others though suggest it may be a reference to famous former Hammers such as Geoff PIKE, RAY Stewart, Frank MACKERELvennie, Harry REDSNAPPER, Gary BREAM, Neil RUDDock (that’s more than enough fish puns – Ed)

“Into an Iron Cage he shall cause the great one to be draw
When the Child of German shall observe nothing.”
The great one is an expected approach to Jose Mourinho for the coming managerial vacancy while the child of a German observing nothing indicates the difficulty Tim Steidten would have working with him.

“The mad anger of the furious fight,
Shall cause by Brothers the Iron to glister at the Table,“
Fabrizio Romano and I are continuing to work on interpreting this one. Once a signing has been made, we will let you know what it meant.