West Ham face Wolves on Monday night. A six pointer this early in the season? We recap the season to date in rhyme.

On a summer’s day in August the new season began,
At home to Aston Villa, on the bench was Jhon Duran,
It only took four minutes, Onana with his head,
A simple goal it looked so easy and now the Villa led.

Then Soucek fouled by Matty Cash in the area, what fun,
Paqueta took the penalty to make the score one-one.
The second half on came the sub – Duran was his name,
You know the rest, a twist of fate, and Villa won the game.

So on we went to Selhurst Park to visit the Eagles nest,
Last time we conceded five so this would be a test,
Would we lose to Palace again? I’ll put your mind at rest,
Soucek and Bowen both scored, we won 2-0 you guessed.

The EFL Cup was next, two teams were evenly matched,
Bowen’s late handball goal was scored, the Cherries were dispatched.

August ended when City came, 1-0 when Haaland struck,
Then Bowen crossed, Dias deflected, the Hammers were in luck.
But you can guess what happened next, Haaland having fun,
Two more goals against us, and City won 3-1.

The international break came next, and then to London West,
To Craven Cottage off we went to face another test,
Jimenez put the hosts one up – it looked like we were done,
But Ings popped up on 95, to make the score one-one.

The London Stadium next, Chelsea came across the town,
Before we blinked Jackson scored two and we were looking down,
Palmer scored another, we needed General Custer,
We lost again, 3-0 it was, the performance was lacklustre.

Off to Anfield next, the EFL cup next round,
We took the lead on 21, were we Wembley bound?
3-1 down by half time, who was there to blame?
By the end it climbed to five to add to West Ham’s shame.

The GTech was next – Brentford then beckons,
Mbuemo scored first in just 40 seconds,
Soucek struck next to bring hope anew,
But a draw was all the Hammers could do.

October came next ‘twas Ipswich I hear,
Antonio in one, oh how we did cheer,
Delap replied to make it one-one,
We then scored three more to bring us some fun.

Next to North London, once White Hart Lane,
They built a new stadium and then changed the name,
Kudus scored first, then they netted four,
Then he got sent off, three Spurs on the floor.

Then Manchester United, much to our delight,
When Summerville scored, a new shining light,
A VAR penalty, who saw it? No-one?
Bowen converted and we won two-one.

Then on to the Forest, a header Chris Wood,
Alvarez sent off – he was up to no good,
Two more for Forest it was now all uphill,
And when it had ended we’d lost it three-nil

And next came the Toffees and no-one could score,
The game ended goalless, a real dreary bore,
The fans were cheesed off, and how they did whine,
The players were booed off at half and full time.

St James Park the venue for West Ham’s next game,
We didn’t expect much, just more of the same,
Soukek’s header, Wan-Bissaka’s rebound,
It came as a shock to win on their ground.

Was this a new dawn? Arsenal was next,
But four goals in no time to stray from the text,
Wan-Bissaka again, and Emerson’s free kick,
But we lost 5-2, were they taking the mick?

And then on to Leicester, we should have done better,
He changed round the team, and left out Paqueta,
31 shots, but still we were done,
Vardy scored early and we lost 3-1.

And next up come Wolves, Matchday 15 already,
We need someone new to come in and steady,
We’re down in fourteenth, 15 points to our name,
We should really be higher, who can we blame?

Wolves even lower, what do they lack?
They face relegation, they need to bounce back,
We’re both down the bottom, which one will crack?
Two bosses in trouble and facing the sack.

(They say) Fools Rush In where angels fear to tread,
A new head coach came – he’s in way above his head,
What next for West Ham to end all our troubles?
We’ll find out real soon and start blowing bubbles.

We all love our team but they do make us fret,
With West Ham you never know quite what you’ll get,
We need to get better, start playing like lions,
With the fans all behind us, come on you irons!

West Ham’s Tale Of Three Corners: One Unturned and Two Undefended

Rumours of a West Ham revival under Julen Lopetegui were mercilessly squashed in a dismal first half showing against Arsenal at the London Stadium on Saturday evening

Expectations prior to Saturday’s London derby with Arsenal were less about possible victory as putting in a performance that would demonstrate Monday’s victory at Newcastle was no fluke. A sign to unconvinced supporters that the Lopetegui revolution had finally discoverd traction and a direction of travel. We were to be sadly disappointed.

Tentative and unconvincing from the start, it was if coach and players had written the game off before a ball had even been kicked. A gut had been busted at St James Park and a more winnable appointment was scheduled for Tuesday evening at the King Power Stadium. Let’s just go through the motions today, then! It’s a strategy that might suit a newly promoted team focused solely on survival – but don’t we deserve better than that?

A case could be made for calling out the decisions made by referee Anthony Taylor that resulted in three of the Arsenal goals. And that is what Lopetegui resorted to. But it was nothing more than an attempt to deflect attention from what looked to be poor preparation and ineffective tactics. The promising foundations established at Newcastle crumbling on their first encounter with a determined and energetic opponent.

Nowhere were the shortcomings more evident than in midfield where the new partnership of Tomas Soucek, Lucas Paqueta and Carlos Soler failed to exert any of the composure tht had been exhibited the previous Monday. Control was meekly surrendered to the strength, skill and tenacity of Odegaard, Rice and Jorginho. Soucek huffed and puffed but was slow, lost and lumbering; while Paqueta served up one of his frustratingly casual displays that verge on the cusp of liability. Soler was the brightest of the three – and what a stunning pass it was to set up Aaron Wan-Bissaka for the first West Ham goal – but was deployed too far forward to stamp any authority on the game. Collectively, they failed to compete, unable to provide a platform for retaining possession or building forward momentum -especially during that woeful opening 36 minutes.

Some observers saw a sliver of positivity from the more even exchanges of the second period. The introduction of Edson Alvarez certainly added spark to the midfield but doing so at the expense of Crysencio Summerville was a damage limiting call rather than a brave one. Although Alavrez may well have made a difference had he started, would he have made it to half-time given his love of the rash callenge and the ease and drama with which Arsenal players fall to the ground?  

They say that football is a game of opinions and that is increasingly becoming the norm for refereeing decisions. At one time a push in the back was an obvious offence but now it is down to the official’s calculation as to the degree of force exerted. The shove on Paqueta by Timber for the visitor’s opening goal was overlooked by the referee and VAR declined to enter the debate. Likewise, penalty decisions have become increasingly subjective and impossible to judge – harsh say the Hammers; stonewall say the Gunners – as matches become more concerened with generating content for post-match analysis than for the beauty of the game itself. The new directive for VAR to defer increasingly to on-field decisions makes one wonder what purpose it is now serving.

Arsenal’s corner tactics would have made Don Revie a proud man. As would the way the Gunner’s have embraced the cynical dark arts of diving, cheating and time-wasting. Arteta comes across as a deeply unlikeable character and he has successfully created a team in his own image. Still, in the world of win-at-all-costs football it has helped them get results. As long as they continue to be runners-up, let them get on with it.

Lukasz Fabianski is far from the ideal candidate to cope with the agricultural Arsenal corner routine. A far more commanding keeper is required, and it is a position that West Ham must address sooner rather than later. The Hammers have long been suckered by opponents attempting overloads at set pieces with several Brentford reverses springing to mind. Ultimately, the Set Piece Defensive coaches (if there is such a thing) up and down the land must find a way of coming to terms with the tactic. Possibly finding a way to avoid adding to the general confusion and congestion by defending zonally or building a wall at the back post to block the runners. It was a mystery what Max Kilman’s role was supposed to be when Gabriel headed in the opener – but apparently it had been practised on the training ground.

The Lopetegui circus now moves on to Leicester tomorrow night for what some have billed as another ‘must win’ game. The Foxes were abysmal in their defeat to Brentford on Saturday but will have new manager, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, in the dugout for Tuesday’s game. If the Hammers are to resist the new manager bounce, they will need to wake their ideas up sharpish. Vardy’s eyes will have lit up watching the Havertz goal at the weekend and it will not have escaped his attention that Kilman and Jean-Claire Todibo have been consistently vulnerable to the simple ball over the top.

Something else to watch out for tonight is the FA Cup Third Round draw. West Ham are ball number 43 and will be hoping to avoid the traditional poisoned chalice of a trip to Manchester or Liverpool. I must add a ‘very well done’ to the Daggers for reaching the third round. A trip down the road to Victoria Road would do very nicely. COYI!