Richard Bennett

West Ham’s new boss, their FA Cup defeat at Villa, coincidences, and the visit of draw specialists Fulham who’ve not lost in eight league games

So Julen Lopetegui has gone. 22 games at the helm, 20 Premier League and 2 EFL Cup. In the league we faced every other club once and Manchester City twice. We won six league games – on matchdays 2, 7, 9, 12, 15, 18. So we never managed back-to-back wins. We spent one week in the top half of the table when we were ninth after beating Palace in the second game, but apart from that we have been fourteenth for most of the time. We did climb to thirteenth after our four-game unbeaten run (2 wins and 2 draws – Matchdays 15-18), but two heavy defeats conceding nine goals to Liverpool and Manchester City saw us back in fourteenth and spelled the inevitable end for the head coach.

We’ve conceded 39 goals in 20 league games; only Wolves, Leicester and Southampton have let in more. A goal difference of minus 15, only Leicester and Southampton are worse than that. And 24 goals scored – we are fourteenth in that table too!

Graham Potter was installed last Thursday and immediately faced a tricky away FA Cup third round tie on Friday at Villa Park. And it was there that the coincidences begin. Because just like Lopetegui his first game was against Aston Villa. And despite a bright first half performance we lost the game 2-1 just as Lopetegui had done. Our goal was scored by the left foot of Paqueta just as it was in the game last August. Onana scored Villa’s first goal just as he had done at the London Stadium. At least it wasn’t Duran scoring the winner as he was suspended for the FA Cup game.

Potter’s first five league games in charge will be against Fulham, Palace, Villa, Chelsea and Brentford. Lopetegui faced those five plus Manchester City in his first six games, where we picked up five points, beating Palace, drawing with Fulham and Brentford, and losing to Villa and Chelsea. All five points were gained away from home with two defeats at the London Stadium. In these reverse fixtures Palace, Fulham and Brentford are the home games.

Fulham are unbeaten in their last eight league games having drawn six of them, Palace have only lost once in their last six games and have come on since we beat them very early in the season. Brentford are poor away from home. These three games are ones that we need to win to stand a chance of moving up the table. The Villa and Chelsea away games will be big tests.

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Graham Potter’s first game, oh what a plight,
We lost to the Villa on a January night,
In the ninth minute West Ham struck a blow,
Paqueta’s left foot we led in the show.

A game of two halves, in the first we’d attack,
But then in the second, the Villa fought back,
Two quick goals they scored, how we did jeer
Onana and Rogers they cost us so dear.

A corner was given it caused quite a fuss,
A referee’s error threw us under the bus,
Onana’s goal followed, you get the drift,
That’s when the momentum it started to shift.

In sorrowful defeat thus began Potter’s reign
But positive’s taken, a lot we could gain,
Just a day to prepare once Lop did depart,
Half a season is left, it’s only the start.

So next up it’s Fulham, last season on song
5-0 and 2-0 it really went wrong.
Seven goals conceded, who could we blame?
They were just too good, both games the same.

So now winless against them, now three games long,
Why can’t we beat them, what has gone wrong?
Before then we’d won five games out of six,
But now we all know we’ve got something to fix.

London derbies we’ve struggled, five with no win,
Last two were awful, nine goals went in.
4-1 to Spurs, and Arsenal scored five,
A really poor record, it’s time to revive.

Fulham’s London matches unbeaten in ten
In derbies they shine again and again,
Five wins five draws such strength they’ve found,
Five on their travels and five on home ground.

Our last two league games we also shipped nine,
Enough is enough we must draw the line,
Fulham unbeaten in their last eight,
About time they lost, let’s end the wait.

As West Ham visit Aston Villa in the Third Round of this season’s FA Cup the debate continues – has the competition lost its magic?

My first recollection of the FA Cup goes right back to the 1958-59 season. West Ham were drawn away to our local rivals Tottenham in the third round. This was our first season back in Football League Division One, the top flight of the English game, and we were flying high. When the game was played on Saturday January 10^th we were a very respectable tenth in the 22 team division, having been top after six games. By the end of the season we had climbed to sixth. Tottenham were poor that season eventually finishing eighteenth, although they were to finish third a year later and champions (and double winners) the year after that. What is more, we had faced them on Christmas Day, beating them 2-1 at Upton Park (the day I saw my first ever league game), and then thrashing them 4-1 at White Hart Lane on Boxing Day (the following day – and players today complain about the number of games!). A little under two weeks later they got their revenge beating us 2-0 on their home ground to knock us out of the cup.

This was the first of my personal FA Cup competition disappointments losing to a team lower placed than us. In the ensuing (approaching 70) years there have been so many more. The following season we went out in Round 3 again in a replay losing 5-1 at home to second division Huddersfield Town. The season after that round 3 again losing to second division Stoke City in a replay, and the following year the third round once again to lowly Plymouth Argyle! The list goes on – name the most embarrassing – Swindon, Mansfield, Blackpool, Hull, Hereford, Newport County all knocked us out in the sixties and seventies. The amazing thing is that we won the competition three times by 1980, 1964 v Preston North End, 1975 v Fulham, and 1980 v Arsenal. Three great final memories that live with me all these years later.

Back in those younger days the FA Cup was a magical competition for me, and I suspect most fans. Apart from the odd England international the final was the only game that we could see live on TV each season. But has it lost it’s magic? I guess this is a question that has been a recurring topic in football discussions for some years now.

Certainly, there has been a decline in prestige. The rise of the Premier League and the UEFA Champions League and other European competitions has overshadowed the FA Cup. Top clubs prioritise these competitions over domestic cup games.

‘Bigger’ clubs often field weakened sides, especially in the early rounds, which sends out a signal that the FA Cup is not a priority, leading to the perception that it’s less important than it used to be. And it’s not just the so called ‘bigger’ clubs. All the Premier League clubs have big squads and want to keep all squad players happy. And with an ever-growing calendar the FA Cup sometimes feels like an afterthought in the crowded schedule, especially for those clubs involved in multiple competitions. Clubs involved in the relegation struggle prioritise league games, and mid-table clubs (like us?) seem to believe that finishing a place or two higher in the league is more important than a good cup run. I don’t believe that fans agree with that.

However, analysis of the eventual winners in the last twenty years shows that in general ‘big’ clubs win the trophy. Two notable exceptions in that time are Portsmouth (2008) and Wigan (2013). Perhaps you could add Leicester in 2021? Otherwise it has been Chelsea (5), Arsenal (5), Manchester City (3), Manchester United (2), Liverpool (2).

Another aspect relates to TV and scheduling issues. These days, kick-off times prioritise national and global television audiences over match-going fans. In theory late-night or weekday games have perhaps alienated some traditional supporters. But fans still attend games in vast numbers so football authorities are not concerned and are happy to spread the games for maximum TV coverage.

In my younger days the FA Cup third round was another magical day in the football calendar. It was the day that the top two divisions joined the other clubs from the top ten levels of the English football league pyramid who had competed through up to six qualifying rounds to reach the First Round proper and then two further rounds when teams from Divisions Three and Four (now equivalent to Leagues One and Two) also joined in. 64 teams playing 32 matches that all kicked off at 3pm on the same Saturday afternoon.

What happens now? Well this season there were 3 games on Thursday 9^th, there’ll be 2 games on Friday 10^th, including our own trip to Villa Park, 19 games on Saturday, 7 games on Sunday, and one on Monday. All in all 15 different kick-off times spread over five days for the 32 games.

One aspect that has grown over the years is the financial disparity. The prize money and financial impact of the FA Cup pales when compared to league placements or European competitions, reducing the monetary incentive. This season, the FA Cup winners will collect a prize of £2 million, whereas for each incremental position in the Premier League teams benefit by more than £3 million. In financial terms alone it’s a no-brainer. Unfortunately too many decisions regarding football are based on money.

Having painted a picture of a loss in the magic, the competition still retains it to some degree. The FA Cup continues to throw up underdog stories where smaller clubs upset the giants of the Premier League, moments that can capture the essence of why we love football. Unfortunately, this year’s format has removed replays from the First Round Proper onwards making it harder for lower league teams to secure financial windfalls. FA Cup replays were once part of the magic of the competition.

I still recall with fondness the memories of our semi-final replay over Ipswich in the snow at Stamford Bridge in 1975 on our way to lifting the trophy, and the semi-final replay in 1980 at Elland Round where we beat Everton on our way to winning the Cup in 1980 (remember Frank Lampard dancing around the corner flag!). You have to remember we were one of the ‘smaller’ clubs in 1980 (in league division terms we were second tier) – these games can sometimes create lifelong memories for fans, that few league games do.

As the oldest national football competition in the world the FA Cup still carries a unique historical and cultural significance, certainly for those of us who recall moments of pure football romance. The FA Cup may not hold the same stature it did in its heyday due to changes in the football landscape, but it still provides moments of magic, particularly for smaller clubs and traditionalists (like me!). The “magic” may now be more selective rather than universal, but it hasn’t completely disappeared. Whether it has truly “lost its magic” often depends on what we as fans value most in football today.

Our third round tie this season is on 10^th January, exactly 66 years ago to the day from when I remember my first, way back in 1959. So many disappointments in those intervening years as well as three great memories on winning the trophy. By the time I was just 26 years old we had been FA Cup winners three times, but now as I approach 71, it hasn’t happened again, the closest we came was in 2006 when we were just a minute away before Steven Gerrard intervened.

We have only faced Villa three times previously in the FA Cup. In 1913, our first ever match against them, they beat us 5-0 in front of 51,000 at Villa Park. In 1977 (I remember this one) in front of 47,000 at Villa Park we were on the end of a 3-0 defeat.

But the one that really sticks in the memory came in the quarter final of the 1980 tournament in front of a full house at Upton Park. Geoff and I watched that game from the front row of B block in the old West Stand. We were just a second division outfit at the time, but ironically it was one of the best times ever to watch West Ham. Incredibly we only managed a seventh place finish in Division Two that season, with a team that boasted Phil Parkes, Alvin Martin, Ray Stewart, Frank Lampard, Trevor Brooking, Alan Devonshire, Stuart Pearson and David Cross. Billy Bonds also, but he was absent for the Villa game. Of course we rectified it the following season when we were runaway champions and gained promotion back to the top flight.

There was only about a minute of the game to go (it was goalless at the time) when Sir Trev swung in a corner from below the West Stand at the South Bank end and a Villa centre back (McNaught) rose and handled the ball as Alvin Martin challenged. The referee gave a penalty with the Villa defender complaining vehemently that Alvin had pushed his arm above his head onto the ball. There was no VAR of course and once the referee had made up his mind that was that. I do remember the incident being discussed at length by Brian Moore on the Big Match on Sunday afternoon. Ray Stewart, one of our master penalty takers in my time of watching West Ham, fired it hard and low to the keepers right and we led 1-0. In typical West Ham fashion there was still time in the minute remaining for Villa to win a free kick on the edge of our area and Phil Parkes was needed to make a save which saw us through to the semi-final. The rest is history. But memories of Cup games (especially of good ones) remain.

Villa are one of the teams against whom we have a positive record with more wins than defeats in history. But in the past couple of seasons they have been on the up. When they beat us 4-1 at Villa Park last season it ended a run of ten games where they had failed to win against us. And of course you will remember the opening game of this season at the London Stadium when we went behind to a header from Onana (who we apparently wanted to buy a couple of years ago) in the opening few minutes. Paqueta converted a penalty to equalise in the first half, and then of course their substitute Duran (who we had seemed to spend the whole summer wanting to buy) inevitably scored the winner. And he has gone on to have an excellent season, sometimes selected ahead of Watkins.

We go into today’s game without the head coach who has been in charge. The season has seemed like a wasted one so far with little prospect of climbing into the top half of the table or challenging for a European place next season. We desperately need a cup run to lift us. Wouldn’t it be great to progress to Round Four? Can the new boss bring a little magic to the club?

It was the worst kept secret that Julen Lopetegui would be leaving West Ham, but why did it take so long?

I was reminded on social media this week of Mark Noble’s comments on finishing his playing career at the club: “West Ham aren’t run like a circus anymore.” Some might suggest that this week’s shenanigans involving the sacking of head coach Lopetegui would differ from that. I guess all clubs should have succession planning, but somehow ‘the West Ham way’ of doing it did seem a little unsavoury being played out in public. Or was that just how I saw it? Anyway, as with all managers / head coaches who lose their job I am sure he and his staff will be well compensated for the remaining terms of their contracts.

Because just as I began to write this article the news that we knew was coming has finally been confirmed officially and Julen Lopetegui has been sacked. And he can have no complaints. Like so many I was underwhelmed by his appointment in the first place. But unlike many of our fans who are so called experts in who the club should appoint I didn’t know enough about him and was happy to see if he really was a good choice. Unfortunately he wasn’t and he has since proved that he was the wrong person right from the start.

We have not improved from a defensive point of view this season, and just like the last campaign under Moyes we have the poorest record in respect of goals conceded outside of the bottom three. Has it been poor recruitment in the summer or poor coaching / management since as we brought in Kilman, Todibo and Wan-Bissaka at the back to hopefully improve in this area? Wan-Bissaka has been relatively successful, but we don’t know about Kilman and Todibo yet.

But teams defend as a whole and I believe a key reason for our poor defensive record lies with the lack of pace in midfield which does not offer sufficient protection for the back four. Rodriguez just doesn’t seem to fit the Premier League, Alvarez (for whatever reason) seems to be getting slower and he wasn’t that fast to begin with, and Soucek for all his effort just doesn’t have the pace or quality. Paqueta has looked poor and disinterested for much of the time and has Soler got what it takes to be a success here, and why was he so easy to recruit and not wanted by PSG?

From the outset it just didn’t seem right. The players lacked direction or didn’t seem to understand what was required of them. What were the tactics? They weren’t very clear or again not understood. The team selections were baffling as were many of the substitutions. Inexplicably to me a player like Summerville just wasn’t given a chance, never given a full 90 minutes, hauled off when playing well then on the bench for the next game with no opportunity for continuity.

Prior to our game against Newcastle towards the end of November I wrote a poem entitled The Head Coach. I was expecting him to be dismissed very soon. I tried to predict the outcome of the game and was completely wrong as we won the game 2-0. My forecast was a 2-0 defeat. Pleased though I was (and always am) that we had won the game it didn’t really change my thoughts that he was the wrong choice. He was given more time, but even then I was convinced that he wouldn’t be around for too much longer. It has taken a further six weeks for the inevitable to happen. I repeat the poem here. Let us hope that this time we get it right.

The Head Coach

In the quiet of the changing room there’s tension in the air,
The head coach sits alone, lost in silent prayer,
The team, once full of promise, now struggles in the fight,
The season’s hopes are fading, slipping slowly out of sight.

In the cold winds of November under the floodlights glare,
The head coach stands in silence, with a burden hard to bear,
The team’s form has faltered, each defeat a painful blow,
The whispers growing louder, from the boardroom to below.

The night is cold, the winds are strong, the stadium lights are bright,
Two Premier League teams clashing on a freezing Monday night,
The Magpies on the front foot, their wingers standing wide,
The Hammers block is narrow, they fight to halt the tide.

He paces on the sideline, staring at the pitch,
Hoping to find the magic to turn this losing glitch,
He wonders about his lineup, he rethinks every play,
Hoping for a miracle to chase the doubts away.

One down at the interval, fans patience growing thin,
Every formation has been tried to bring the wins back in,
The half time talk determined, he rallies one more time,
A second goal goes in the net, the finish quite sublime.

After the game he faces the press, he knows not where to start,
Questions probing for cracks within, have the players got the heart?
He talks of faith and unity, of turning it around,
But shadows of the sack loom close, a win just can’t be found.

The players lack direction, the tactics quite unclear,
And baffling team selections, departure must be near,
Behind the scenes the murmurs rise, of replacements lined in wait,
Another loss, its Arsenal next, the coach awaits his fate.

West Ham visit the Etihad hoping to rectify an abysmal record in games against Manchester City

I’ll take you back to the 2015-16 season, our last at the Boleyn Ground. It was less than ten years ago. Slaven Bilic was our manager. Our first three away games that season were at Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester City. Daunting eh? None of it. We beat all three. Arsenal first 2-0, then Liverpool 3-0, and finally City 2-1. Those were the days! Those teams went on to finish second, eighth and fourth in the Premier League. We finished seventh, just one point below Southampton who were sixth.

Ironically, we lost two of our first three home games that season at ‘fortress’ Upton Park (how we forget that it wasn’t a fortress!), 2-1 to Leicester City who went on to become 5000-1 shock league champions, and 4-3 to Bournemouth who eventually finished sixteenth. Newcastle, Norwich and Aston Villa were relegated.

Yes, all this happened less than ten years ago. How times change!

We’ve played against City eighteen times since and haven’t managed to beat them again in the league, with just two draws in that time, both at home. We did knock them out of the League Cup in 2021 winning 5-3 on penalties after a 0-0 draw. We’ve never kept a clean sheet against them in our last 24 league fixtures. That happened in 2012, 0-0 at Upton Park. If I’m not mistaken our last clean sheet in an away game at Manchester City came at Maine Road towards the end of our relegation season 2002-3, when with Sir Trevor at the helm for the very first time as our caretaker manager we beat them 1-0 with a Freddie Kanoute goal. Our longest winless run in league games against a specific team is also 18 games – that is against Liverpool between 1983 and 1994. So we will be setting a new record if we fail to win today.

I doubt that many of us saw it coming but Manchester City are having their worst run in many years. They have only won one of their last five home games in all competitions, and their 2-0 win at Leicester last weekend was only their second win in their last fourteen games in all competitions, having drawn three and lost an incredible nine. Nobody thought that this would happen after they began this season as they have the past few.

A worrying statistic is that Haaland hasn’t scored at the Etihad in his last four games there, October being his most recent when he scored the only goal in the game against Southampton. These are the kind of records that worry me – runs that undoubtedly end when West Ham are the opponents. He has a good record against us having scored seven goals in just five games but six of those have been at the London Stadium, including a hat trick when we went down 3-1 in August.

We have hardly been pulling up trees ourselves but we did go on a four game unbeaten run recently which ended when champions-elect Liverpool thrashed us 5-0 in our last game. We didn’t even muster a single shot on target in the game although we came close hitting the woodwork three times. But let’s be fair we were well and truly outclassed, which I fear may happen again today.

Are there any statistics that give us any hope? Nothing too startling I’m afraid although we have managed to score in eight of our nine Premier League away games this season, just failing once when we lost 3-0 at (high flying) Nottingham Forest. And we’ve only lost one of our last four away league games (at Leicester 3-1 despite having 31 shots). In that time we’ve beaten Newcastle 2-0, drawn 1-1 at Bournemouth, and won 1-0 at Southampton.

The unavailability of Jarrod Bowen after he suffered a fractured foot against Liverpool is a big blow for a side lacking in the attacking department, but these things happen and we are paying the penalty now for failure to recruit in this position in the summer. How quickly can we rectify this in the transfer window that has just opened? I’m not holding my breath!

I’m always hopeful where our team are concerned but I’d be surprised if we got anything out of this game. Despite City’s poor form I’ll bet they are relishing the thought of our visit there today.

As per my recent articles I’ve penned a rhyme to preview the game:

City versus West Ham played in the North-West,
Not our favourite game, we’re never at our best,
They’ve won 14 out of last 15, it’s their happy game,
We always seem to struggle, it always seems the same.

We’ve lost eight games in a row there since year 2015,
They’re always much too good for us, it’s what we’ve always seen.
It’s eighteen winless games now, it’s really quite obscene,
Since that 2-1 away win there, ten years oh so lean!

24 Premier League against them since our last clean sheet,
At least one goal conceded every time we meet,
A similar tale v Sunderland was something we did fix,
We went and beat them 8-0, Sir Geoffrey netted six!

City win their first league game ‘most every calendar year,
Seventeen out of eighteen, a record that we fear,
But we haven’t lost our first game in the recent seven,
If we could take that up to eight we’d be in seventh heaven.

In City’s last two home games they’ve been the first to score,
But neither did they win, they didn’t close the door,
They’ve never failed to win in three when they’ve scored the first,
Perhaps we can shock them and make their bubble burst.

Match facts as West Ham face Liverpool in the late kick-off this afternoon

At St Marys there were ills on the West Ham side
Kilman, Soler and Fab were all on the slide
First half woes forced them off to tread
Injuries to shoulder, to knee and to head.

Soucek and Rodriguez bans they face
But Lucas Paqueta returns to the race
No Szoboszlai a yellow card woe
Bradley and Konate sidelined and won’t show.

West Ham won in 2021, that was a rare treat,
In sixteen meetings, it was usually defeat
The Reds have scored twice in seven of eight,
They score at will, so much they create.

Unbeaten in four, West Ham on the rise?
Seeking back-to-back wins with hopeful eyes
First three home losses in Lopetegui’s reign
But once in six since to ease the pain.

Set pieces are good, seven goals we’ve scored
But conceded 74 in ’24 – to be abhorred!
All our last six goals in second half came
Bowen closing on 50, he’s well on his game

The Reds start the New Year at top seventh time
But only once champions – that is a crime
Unbeaten away in the top-flight this season
Six wins and two draws, that is the reason

26 games for Slot with just one defeat
22 unbeaten well that’s quite a feat
12 points from behind another statistic
When they concede first they stay optimistic

Ten goals conceded in last four away
At least two in each, much to their dismay
But still gained eight points that’s quite a feat,
Two wins two draws and never got beat

And so it’s a tough one I’ve got to concede
An early goal lead is perhaps what we need
Very hard to beat them that’s well understood
In this game a draw would be very good

My West Ham player of the season so far – Aaron Wan-Bissaka

As West Ham prepare to take on the champions-elect Liverpool in the final game of 2024, I nominate Aaron Wan-Bissaka as my player of the season to date.

Aaron Wan-Bissaka had his 27^th birthday in November. Manchester United paid Crystal Palace £50 million for him in 2019. Somehow he didn’t quite thrive at Old Trafford as you might have expected for a defender who cost that amount of money. He definitely needed a fresh start to kick-start his career. I don’t remember a big queue of clubs looking to secure his signature when he wanted to leave. Amazing to me as I always felt he looked a really good player, and certainly a big upgrade on Ben Johnson in the squad. It was obvious to me (although not to the head coach at the outset) that he would be an improvement of Vladimir Coufal at right back, and he has shown great versatility in performing equally well when playing on the left.

One of the most amazing pieces of play, and one that has gone under the radar this season because it didn’t result in a goal (which always gets the headlines) came in our game in the last match before Christmas against Brighton. Wan-Bissaka sealed the point in the game with an incredibly courageous and brilliant goal-saving on the line headed clearance to deny Lamptey of Brighton.

More than that he has performed consistently in a team that hasn’t played consistently this season. He has adjusted superbly to the demands of the head coach for full backs to play in a more advanced role. He scored his first goal for us in the 2-0 away victory at Newcastle and is demonstrating the qualities that made him such a highly rated talent at the time he went north to Old Trafford. He followed it up with another well taken goal timing his run to perfection in the home defeat to Arsenal in the following game. Two goals already in sixteen appearances for the team, and potentially assists to come if he keeps getting forward as he has done.

It’s always strikers or midfield players that get all the headlines, but for me he has been West Ham’s stand out player so far this season and long may it continue. There’s always some debate as to who behind the scenes identifies players to buy to come to the club. But whoever it was in this case has (in my opinion) unearthed a gem. He, himself, described coming to West Ham as a no-brainer and he hasn’t looked back, has he? He has, I believe, the potential to become the best right-back in the country, a view not shared by many yet but I hope it will happen.

The Great Pretender (Defender) (with apologies to the late, great Freddie Mercury)

When you came they said you were good at the back,
ManU didn’t want you, said you couldn’t attack.
They said your strength was to tackle and defend,
You may well have tricked them, perhaps you like to pretend?

Did you fool them ‘cos you had plans of getting away?
‘cos already you’ve shown them you know how to play.
They said you could tackle, the best one on one,
You’ve shown your versatility, that’s what you have done.

Right back, left back, you can fill a hole,
What’s more AWB you’re good for a goal.
I think they’re missing a trick, you’ve got pace galore,
You could play defensive midfield, shielding the back four.

Oh, yes, you’re a great defender,
But not pretending, ‘cos you’re doing well
Your game is such, an excellent touch,
A top player, but very few can tell.

I seem to see what so few can see
You cover all over the ground
Oh yes, you’re a great defender
Not pretending that you are around.

A review of West Ham’s visit to Southampton on Boxing Day

Hopefully you’ve seen Geoff’s excellent review of our win at Southampton which raised us up to the dizzy heights of 13^th in the Premier League after being stuck in 14^th for most of the season so far. Here is a slightly different take on the game.

Is Santa a West Ham fan or not?

Santa’s NOT a West Ham fan
It’s very plain to see.
Soler’s missed an easy chance
And its only 3.03.

Santa IS a West Ham fan
It wasn’t long to wait.
The Saints have fluffed a headed chance
It’s only 3.08.

Santa’s NOT a West Ham fan
The Saints are getting bolder.
Kilman’s had to leave the field
He’s gone and hurt his shoulder.

Santa IS a West Ham fan
When Kilman’s off in pain.
Fabianski makes a save
When the Saints should score again.

Santa’s NOT a West Ham fan
Fab’s whacked in the face.
A long delay, he’s carried off
Areola in his place.

Santa IS a West Ham fan
Saints should have scored again.
They could have gone ahead by now.
The ref has added ten!

The first half lasted 56
It’s up to you now Lop
After Soler’s early miss
The Saints have been on top.

Santa’s NOT a West Ham fan,
Rodriguez sees red,
VAR’s a West Ham fan
It’s now yellow instead.

Santa IS a West Ham fan
Not very long to wait.
Jarrod Bowen once again
Taps in on 58.

Santa IS a West Ham
We really like to tease
The Saints are surely going down
We should beat them with ease.

Yes, Santa IS a West Ham fan
Southampton poor but plucky
We’re not playing all that well
But just a little lucky.

A review of the Brighton game, and a preview of West Ham’s visit to Southampton on Boxing Day

And so we continue in a league of our own,
Fourteenth is our place, for that we are known,
In thirteen of seventeen that’s where we’ve stayed,
And a draw against Brighton was just what we played.

Eight games at home we couldn’t defeat ‘em,
Wouldn’t it be good if we could just beat ‘em.
Fourteenth in goals scored another statistic,
Without many forwards I’m not optimistic,

Next up Southampton back to the South Coast,
Look at their team, we should have them on toast,
Boxing Day games after a big Christmas dinner,
Let’s hope we can win, who might score the winner?

They have a new manager, Juric his name,
They talk of a bounce in his very first game,
Sacked three times in two years then hired by Torino,
A short spell at Roma then sacked like Mourinho.

We both love the Hammers although we’re not leaders,
We wish a great Christmas to all of our readers,
From Rich and Geoff, we’ll be writing more soon,
Two more wins this year we’ll be over the moon.

It may not happen, it’s not worth a bet,
With West Ham you never know quite what you’ll get,
But let’s have a good run to bring us some cheer,
Good football, some wins, and a Happy New Year!

A review of West Ham’s visit to Bournemouth, a preview of the Brighton game, and a tribute to Jarrod Bowen, via Rudyard Kipling.

If we’d been offered a point on the day,
At the Vitality we’d nod and we’d say
“Gladly yes”, but we didn’t forsee
How close we came to getting three.

Frustrating it was, we led so late,
But a sloppy free kick then sealed our fate,
The wall stood tall, we knew the drill,
A draw was deserved, for home fans a thrill.

Bournemouth’s shots twenty-nine in all,
Only nine on target that I can recall,
The first half was goalless, frantic and fast,
We matched them at first but how might it last?

A controversial call, we cared not a jot,
As up stepped Paqueta and scored from the spot.
A few moments later the Hammers undone,
Enes Umal’s free kick and the score was one-one.

Lopetegui’s tactics – he asks for more time,
We saw some improvement, but we need to climb,
We’re stuck down at fourteenth, a pretty poor show,
We’ve let in too many, our midfield’s too slow.

On Saturday it’s Brighton; so is it a sin
To hope for three points and pick up a win?
But one win from fourteen, just one that’s right,
At the Amex last season a 3-1 delight.

Seven games at home, top-flight pickings are thin,
We’ve lost two and drawn five but never a win.
But go back twelve years when second tier still,
A great Vaz Te hat trick, we beat them six-nil!

The Seagulls in London, ten winless they find,
The losses and draws must be haunting their mind,
Our recent home form has been on the rise,
Ten points from five is a pleasant surprise.

When Brighton face battles against top half foes,
With five wins in nine their confidence grows,
But with teams near the bottom they falter and strain,
Just one win in seven in a season’s refrain.

When taking set pieces we used to be best,
We still have the tools to make it a test,
Kudus with dribbling can dazzle and gleam,
Bowen’s goals and assists are great for the team.

A Premier clash under a Saturday sky,
Can we win, and go to Christmas on high?
I just have a feeling we’ll win this for sure,
Brighton may score but we’ll score one more.

I wonder if you know the old joke from Donald McGill, famous for his saucy seaside postcards –
“Do you like Kipling?”
“I don’t know I’ve never kippled”.
Rudyard Kipling was an English writer of the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, noted of course for writing amongst many great works The Jungle Book and his poem If. The following is in the style of the latter. So with apologies to Mr Kipling (no, not the one who makes exceedingly good cakes …..) here is a poem to resemble his famous poem If as a tribute to Jarrod Bowen.

If you can keep the ball when all about you
Are losing it, can’t blame it on you;
If you believe in yourself when England managers doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can pass and dribble and not be phased by tackles,
Or keep the ball and ignore the cries;
Or shoot on sight and resist the shackles,
And look so good to everyone’s eyes;
If you can dribble – and not make dribbling your master;
If you can bring others into the game;
If when you lose it’s not a disaster,
But winning the game is your ultimate aim;
If you entertain the fans and play so clever,
Up front, out wide, whatever your role,
Play consistently, be as good as ever,
Win a European trophy with the winning goal.
If you thread it through to make a chance,
Or cross it onto someone’s head,
Or pass to a team mate without a glance,
Or take it on and shoot instead.
If you stay for some time the fans will adore you,
And play like legends of the past have done,
Moore, Bonds, Brooking, Di Canio too,
And what’s more Jarrod Bowen, you’ll be a star my son.

Seasons greetings! Richard.

West Ham faced Wolves on Monday night, our seventh consecutive home win on a Monday. Next Monday we travel to the South Coast to face Bournemouth

West Ham v Wolves – A Celebration of the Number Nine

The ninth of December – the stars did align,
This was the day – a tribute to nine,
Nine was the number that shone in the light,
The game was for Michail, an emotional night.

In the warm-up they wore shirts ‘Antonio 9’,
The game in his honour, this was his time,
The fans clapped and sang, this was because,
When the ninth minute came, 60 seconds applause.

Soucek’s header on 54 –far post this time,
Add them together, 5+4 make nine,
Bowen’s winner on 72, he made no mistake,
Add 7+2, you know what they make.

O’Neil wanted penalties, the ref he played dumb,
Big decisions did impact the overall outcome,
For West Ham’s head coach the win just in time,
For tonight was the night to celebrate nine.

Three points most welcome, let’s uncork the wine,
Nine over the drop zone, we’re starting to climb,
Our points rose to 18, add up one more time,
Put 1 and 8 together – and once more it’s nine!

Nine first half corners, nine shots on goal,
The Hammers were winning and now in control,
The Irons on top as they reigned supreme,
And West Ham were now in a Number 9 Dream.

Bournemouth v West Ham

Christmas is coming, time to bring out the berries,
As West Ham head south to be facing the Cherries,
In the coastal air where the sea meets the sand,
Bournemouth v West Ham, what have they planned?

Under Monday’s night sky with stars softly gleaming,
Can we win again or am I just dreaming?
The Cherries at home in their red and their black,
In claret and blue Hammers on the attack.

The game a tale of grit and delight,
Under stadium lights burning fiercely and bright,
The away fans sing loud, big boy what’s your name?
It’s Ludo Miklosko from Moscow I came. (Not really!)

The Hammers are fourteenth what chance of a win?
The Cherries are eighth and we’re 15 games in,
Two down at Everton almost at the last minute,
You wouldn’t believe that with three goals they’d win it.

One down at Ipswich as the game neared its end,
A dramatic late comeback that is their trend.
They also beat Tottenham when Huijsen did pounce,
Nine points from three games they’ve won on the bounce.

Their scalps are impressive they’ve beaten the best,
City, Arsenal and Chelsea were put to the test,
But Senesi, Tavernier on the injury list,
Two not playing this week and they will be missed.

With Antonio out who’ll be leading the line?
Ings or Fullkrug, or Bowen false nine?
Kudus missed five he’s had quite a rest,
We’ll all be hoping that he’s back to his best.

If Summerville starts, and I do hope he will,
Let’s hope we can witness his dribbling skill,
Soler’s started the last four, he’s looked very keen,
He’s certainly worth his place in the team.

Soucek Lop’s favourite, he picks him whatever,
We always are hoping he scores with a header,
There’s one midfield player we know can do better,
But he’s not on the ball – that’s Lucas Paqueta.

Defending’s a problem, we don’t shut the door,
There are only three teams who’ve conceded more.
And we’ve only scored 20, thirteenth on the list,
Our xg is better, note the chances we’ve missed.

Head to head’s positive, but here is the thing,
We’ve conceded a few to Wilson and King,
But they have gone now, Solanke’s gone too,
Here’s my prediction, a score draw 2-2.

West Ham face Wolves on Monday night. A six pointer this early in the season? We recap the season to date in rhyme.

On a summer’s day in August the new season began,
At home to Aston Villa, on the bench was Jhon Duran,
It only took four minutes, Onana with his head,
A simple goal it looked so easy and now the Villa led.

Then Soucek fouled by Matty Cash in the area, what fun,
Paqueta took the penalty to make the score one-one.
The second half on came the sub – Duran was his name,
You know the rest, a twist of fate, and Villa won the game.

So on we went to Selhurst Park to visit the Eagles nest,
Last time we conceded five so this would be a test,
Would we lose to Palace again? I’ll put your mind at rest,
Soucek and Bowen both scored, we won 2-0 you guessed.

The EFL Cup was next, two teams were evenly matched,
Bowen’s late handball goal was scored, the Cherries were dispatched.

August ended when City came, 1-0 when Haaland struck,
Then Bowen crossed, Dias deflected, the Hammers were in luck.
But you can guess what happened next, Haaland having fun,
Two more goals against us, and City won 3-1.

The international break came next, and then to London West,
To Craven Cottage off we went to face another test,
Jimenez put the hosts one up – it looked like we were done,
But Ings popped up on 95, to make the score one-one.

The London Stadium next, Chelsea came across the town,
Before we blinked Jackson scored two and we were looking down,
Palmer scored another, we needed General Custer,
We lost again, 3-0 it was, the performance was lacklustre.

Off to Anfield next, the EFL cup next round,
We took the lead on 21, were we Wembley bound?
3-1 down by half time, who was there to blame?
By the end it climbed to five to add to West Ham’s shame.

The GTech was next – Brentford then beckons,
Mbuemo scored first in just 40 seconds,
Soucek struck next to bring hope anew,
But a draw was all the Hammers could do.

October came next ‘twas Ipswich I hear,
Antonio in one, oh how we did cheer,
Delap replied to make it one-one,
We then scored three more to bring us some fun.

Next to North London, once White Hart Lane,
They built a new stadium and then changed the name,
Kudus scored first, then they netted four,
Then he got sent off, three Spurs on the floor.

Then Manchester United, much to our delight,
When Summerville scored, a new shining light,
A VAR penalty, who saw it? No-one?
Bowen converted and we won two-one.

Then on to the Forest, a header Chris Wood,
Alvarez sent off – he was up to no good,
Two more for Forest it was now all uphill,
And when it had ended we’d lost it three-nil

And next came the Toffees and no-one could score,
The game ended goalless, a real dreary bore,
The fans were cheesed off, and how they did whine,
The players were booed off at half and full time.

St James Park the venue for West Ham’s next game,
We didn’t expect much, just more of the same,
Soukek’s header, Wan-Bissaka’s rebound,
It came as a shock to win on their ground.

Was this a new dawn? Arsenal was next,
But four goals in no time to stray from the text,
Wan-Bissaka again, and Emerson’s free kick,
But we lost 5-2, were they taking the mick?

And then on to Leicester, we should have done better,
He changed round the team, and left out Paqueta,
31 shots, but still we were done,
Vardy scored early and we lost 3-1.

And next up come Wolves, Matchday 15 already,
We need someone new to come in and steady,
We’re down in fourteenth, 15 points to our name,
We should really be higher, who can we blame?

Wolves even lower, what do they lack?
They face relegation, they need to bounce back,
We’re both down the bottom, which one will crack?
Two bosses in trouble and facing the sack.

(They say) Fools Rush In where angels fear to tread,
A new head coach came – he’s in way above his head,
What next for West Ham to end all our troubles?
We’ll find out real soon and start blowing bubbles.

We all love our team but they do make us fret,
With West Ham you never know quite what you’ll get,
We need to get better, start playing like lions,
With the fans all behind us, come on you irons!