Geoff Hopkins

Season Report Card: Kouyate to Snodgrass

Handing out the second and final instalment of annual report cards means that packing can now start for the summer holidays.

We continue to hand out the end of season report cards in the second and final part of our rear-view mirror assessment of the workers and the shirkers from the recently concluded 2016/17 campaign.

Part one of the Season Report Card: Adrian to Fonte can be found here.

Subject	Remarks	Grade
Cheikhou Kouyate	Having now completed three seasons at the club, Cheikhou continues to bring power and athleticism to the midfield, attributes that are largely lacking elsewhere. If he possessed a greater ability with the final ball he would undoubtedly be plying his trade on a bigger stage than the London Stadium by now. One of the players that the manager has parcelled into the versatile category he has also been asked to play as part of a back three and as right back. Whenever removed from the midfield his strong and forceful running is sorely missed.	B+
Manuel Lanzini	Starting the season as the sorcerer’s apprentice, Manuel has stepped firmly out of the shadows to blossom as the team’s principal play-maker, especially since his release from exile on the wing to a more central role. Full of energy and always alert he takes up great positions and is excellent when running with the ball. Some concerns on his decision making; when to shoot or pass but may be more of a reflection of the movement and options around him than a flaw in his own game. Finished the season with eight league goals and recognition by his national side will likely see him on the radar of predator clubs.	A-
Arthur Masuaku	Initially signed as emergency cover for Cresswell’s early season injury, Arthur has just about thrown off the stigma of the unfathomable double handball incident at The Hawthorns. Another player who has been blighted by a succession of injuries his mellow playing style has made him something of a burgeoning cult hero despite the limited number of games that he has played. Looks excellent going forward but potentially vulnerable defensively. His long term future at the club is likely to rest more on his fitness levels than his playing ability.	B-
Mark Noble	Affectionately known as ‘Mr West Ham’, Mark has experienced an indifferent season at the London Stadium. Impossible to fault him for effort and is personally known to each and every blade of grass on the pitch. His downfall is that he struggles for pace and is frequently bypassed in hurly-burly of the midfield frenzy particularly when opponents have the ball. Also has a tendency to slow the game down too much when in possession through a reliance on sideways and backwards passes. Will obviously remain an important member of the squad but looks to have gone beyond his best before date as far as being a first team regular is concerned.	B-
Havard Nordtveit	Havard has found it difficult to settle in his new environment. Seen as a potential answer to the long running defensive midfield deficiency he failed to make an impact either in that role or when he has been asked to cover elsewhere. Came with a strong reputation from his time in the Bundesliga but was unable to replicate that form in the Premier League, despite some improved performances at the tail end of the season. Difficult to know whether he can yet adapt but an absence of pace suggests that it is unlikely.	D-
The Post	An ever present during the season, The Post came to prominence with a match winning performance against Hull City at the London Stadium in December. Had the result of that match gone the other way it could have resulted in some very squeaky bum moments during the final run-in to the season.	B
Pedro Obiang	Overlooked and apparently out of favour for most of his first season at the club, Pedro was a revelation this term until injury sidelined him in the middle of March. My personal pick for Hammer of the Year, he displays excellent work rate, outstanding ball-winning ability and a shrewd eye for picking out smart and telling passes. Showed a lot of patience and made the most of his chance once it came along. It would be no surprise if he was another on the radar of bigger clubs although injury may have thwarted that concern for the time being.	A
Angelo Ogbonna	A strong left sided centre back who earned a place in West Ham folklore with a last minute headed winner against Liverpool in last season’s FA Cup. Angelo’s second campaign at the club, however, was disrupted by surgery on a long standing injury. For the most part a very competent defender although he has occasionally been prone to a loss of concentration or causal play that has had costly consequences. We will need to wait and see the extent to which injury was impacting performance.	C+
Darren Randolph	A long time understudy for the keeper spot, Darren was called into centre stage following a string of eccentric displays by El Adrian. Early performances were creditable even though his presence failed to prevent the goals against column clicking up with monotonous regularity. A very good shot stopper but has never convinced in the air, a failing that instilled a sense of panic throughout the defence. Had outstayed his welcome by some weeks before the gloves were eventually and rightly handed back to Adrian.	D
Winston Reid	Winston continues to be a stalwart at the heart of the Hammer’s defence even if, as a unit, this was far from impregnable this year. Demonstrates excellent commitment to the cause, has solid defensive qualities and is never afraid to put himself on the line for the team. His unremarkable distribution is possibly the one feature of his play that leaves him just outside the cadre of top central defenders in the league; we are very lucky to have him. Rarely makes critical gaffes and has shown passion and leadership ability during his time as stand-in skipper.	A-
Diafra Sakho	In theory the most complete striker at the club, Diafra unfortunately spent the majority of the season as a regular in the treatment room, clocking up just 2 starts all term. Together with Andy Carroll it is now impossible to rely on either of this pair for the long term with another breakdown always just around the corner. Difficult to know with Sakho whether the problems are purely physical and the often reported relationship problems with the management do not auger well. For one reason or another we may well have seen the last of him in a West Ham shirt.	D
Robert Snodrass	For a player who has spent most of his career as a journeyman footballer in the limbo land between Premier League and Championship, Robert earned a surprise move to West Ham on the back of an impressive half of a season at Hull. It should come as no surprise that his performances owed more to his humble past than to that most recent purple patch. To be fair in his first few appearances he looked full of energy but quickly settled into a state of lethargy that wouldn’t be out of place in a moody teenager. What anyone was thinking when sanctioning a fee in excess of £10 million for his services is one of the mysteries of the universe.	D-

Season Report Card: Adrian to Fonte

It’s that time of year to collect the yearly report before breaking up for the summer holidays.

Now that the season is finally over we hand out report cards before the players head off to the Med for a well earned rest break from the rigours of the Premier League. As they sit around the pool sipping Pina Coladas we hope that they can take a little time to think long and hard about their respective performances.

Subject	Remarks	Grade
Adrian	Starting the season as the team’s obvious Number 1 and on the fringes of his national side, Adrian has experienced a turbulent year. Competent in the air and as a shot stopper his weakness has been in trying to develop flamboyance in the style of Claudio Bravo. Not as good at ball control or dribbling as he thinks, despite his Mark Noble testimonial goal, he was understandably dropped after conceding a number of poor goals due to a lack of concentration or a rush of blood. His exile was longer than necessary before eventually reclaiming the gloves and helping stabilise the defence towards the end of the season. Longer term tenure will depend on competing transfer priorities.	C
Michail Antonio	Michail continued to develop as an important member of the team this season and was a worthy Hammer of the Year winner. An early flurry of goals looked like it might threaten the current West Ham Premier League record of sixteen set by Paolo Di Canio in 1999/2000. However, a dip in form, being asked to play in almost every outfield position – sometimes in the same match – and finally a season ending injury put paid to that dream. Demonstrates energy, pace, power, commitment and adaptability. Looks most effective playing out wide on the right but the manager appear to have other ideas.	A
Andre Ayew	It is still difficult to pinpoint exactly where Andre’s best position is or how to accommodate him into a team formation. The club record signing tag is something of a millstone around his neck and may explain his lack of pace. Still to convince from a value for money standpoint although his early season was badly disrupted by injury. Has a knack of being in the right place to score the simple tap-in and also to scorn them as witnessed with the stunning double miss against Liverpool. A panic arrival last summer could he be a panic departure this one?	C-
Sam Byram	Youthful looks and a ‘Beaker’ hairstyle belie Sam’s age and experience and he needs to convert potential to performance some time soon. With the exception of Alvaro Arbeloa (who spent the majority of his time with the club on the naughty step) Sam was the only specialist right back in the squad and yet was unable to command a regular spot. A number of factors may have contributed to this lack of game time including injuries, suspensions and managerial stubbornness in addition to his on-field contribution. With the probable arrival of Zabaleta in the summer options for next season could be limited unless the West Ham injury curse strikes once again.	C
Jonathan Calleri	Sadly Jonathan was way out his depth in the Premier League and possibly even for one or two divisions below that. Sending Enner Valencia out on loan and then bringing him in as a replacement is one of the great mysteries of the season. From his early miss against Bournemouth he resembled a startled deer caught in the headlights whenever presented with a goal-scoring opportunity. To his credit he did work hard during the later stages of the season but effort alone does not cut it in the self-proclaimed best league in the world. A sad indictment of the club’s organisation and planning is that we had to put up with him as the only striking option for so long.	D-
Andy Carroll	Andy’s attendance has once again let him down this season. Reputed to be unplayable, this is not supposed to be because he is always in the treatment room. Undoubted aerial strength in both attack and defence is not matched by an equal ability on the deck and his deployment as a lone striker, with service that generally fails to play to his strengths, invariable leads to a one-dimensional style of play. A brief spell of fullish fitness did, nonetheless, coincide with the team’s most profitable run of games during which time he scored one of the finest goals of this and many other seasons.	C+
James Collins	The Welsh Braveheart, James can never be accused of not giving his all, apart from when he let Coutinho waltz past to score a few weeks ago. Will always offer 100% effort, commitment and determination even if he lacks some of the finer technical skills. Is also prone to what Harry would call the ‘occasional ricket’. Famous for his brave last ditch blocks and tackles which, ironically, are often in situations of his own making. With the ball at his feet there is nothing as final and definitive as a James Collins clearance and he can be relied on for the occasional goal. Has been and can continue to be a useful emergency replacement but there really should be better, younger alternatives available.	B-
Aaron Cresswell	It has been a topsy-turvy season for Aaron. Having missed the early weeks due to injury, his welcome return coincided with a brief uptick in form and resulted in an international call-up, which was ultimately far from convincing. Has operated as a conventional full back and as a wing back with attacking play usually his major strength. His best performances came when combining with the now departed Payet and he struggled to regain that form in the later stages of the season. Nevertheless he has recently once again be called into the England squad.	C+
Sofiane Feghouli	The capture of Sofiane against stiff competition was billed as something of a coup by those aiming to sell season tickets. A lively start to his career in east London was hampered by injury and since then he has adopted a Jekyll and Hyde persona; in that he was shocking all year up until the last two games where he experienced a reawakening. Overall gave the impression of a winger unable to go past a defender or to deliver a decent cross. Perhaps there is the prospect of more better to come if only the real Sofiane Feghouli could please stand up.	D+
Edmilson Fernandes	Potentially the diamond in the rough of what wasthe debacle of last summer’s transfer dealings, Edmilson has the air of a very assured, controlled and intelligent footballer with an excellent range of passing. Was given relatively few opportunities and was asked to play a number of different roles when he did eventually get onto the pitch. The challenge will be how and where to enjoy the best of his talents as he is not best suited for the more defensive midfield duties. May need to work on the physical side of his game in order to continue development in the frenzy of the Premier League.	B
Ashley Fletcher	Ashley has been the ‘nearly man’ of the West Ham squad having spent much of his time on the bench but making only two Premier League starts. Otherwise it has largely been brief run-outs as an 85^th minute substitute. Has shown some very nice touches but there are question-marks over his strength and pace. Has looked to lack confidence on occasions but then who wouldn’t if overlooked regularly in favour of Jonathan Calleri.	D+
Jose Fonte	January signing Jose came with a big reputation from Southampton but has blown hot and cold during his time in the claret and blue. Has looked strong and stable (where have I heard that before?) in the air but is exposed by young, pacey forwards. The rationale for buying a 33 year old was heavily debated and was mitigated to some extent by the news of Angelo Ogbonna’s injury and surgery. However, alongside James Collins and the imminently arriving Zabaleta the defence has a Dad’s Army feel to it that is more usually associated with Stoke City. Don’t Panic!	C+

Midweek Miscellany: The Hip Replacement Guy

The close season resembles an episode of Casualty as manager Bilic joins his players in the operating theatre.

Slaven Bilic

One joke that never fails to make me smile is the one about the two coolest dudes in the hospital being the Hip Replacement Guy and the Ultra-Sound Man. Now that his team’s limp season has come to an end, our very own cool manager will be joining a host of players by going under the knife with Slaven opting for a hip replacement that is likely to keep him out of action for up to 6 weeks. We wish him a speedy and full recovery and hope that he will emerge far more flexible in every sense of the word at the end of his recuperation.

With no news to the contrary, the assumption has to be that Bilic will be staying in the West Ham hot seat, at least for the time being, to begin the final year of his current contract. It creates both an added incentive and pressure to get next season off to a flying start if he is to avoid dead-man walking status by the time the festive period comes around.

With Slaven temporarily out of action there must be potential implications for the allocation of war-chest funds during the upcoming transfer window. If we are to believe what we read, transfer decisions are collectively agreed by Bilic, transfer supremo Tony Henry and David Sullivan, in his role as de facto Director of Football and as the man signing the cheques from the Bank of Dave. With two shocking transfer windows behind them what could possibly go wrong?

The chatter (or is it the chtwitter) coming out of the club is that sights are set on three of four new signings to launch that leap to the much vaunted next level. The one name cropping up with great regularity in that sense is 32 year old Pablo Zabaleta: better than what we have?, yes; a signing for the future and a statement of ambition?, no! It is my over-riding fear that transfer focus will be on experienced but past-their-best individuals that offer little but to keep the club treading water.

A transfer rumour that cropped up today was a swap with Inter Milan that would see 30 year old Eder heading for London and 23 year old Arthur Masuaku going in the opposite direction. I sincerely hope that this one is from the made-up nonsense basket as neither part of that exchange holds any attraction. Masuaku looks just the sort of prospect that we need to keep despite the suspicion that he has contracted Rush Green syndrome (formerly known as Chadwell Heath syndrome) whereby a player has an irrational fear of leaving the treatment room.

I was relieved to hear that Jermaine Defoe had taken his ageing shooting boots to a more suitable retirement home on the south coast. He is another that could make a reasonable short term difference but no more. The motto: “good is the enemy of great” should be prominently displayed on the wall of the transfer control nerve centre as a reminder of our supposed ambition; right next to the one that says “You don’t have to be mad to work here, but it helps!”

This Week in Hammer’s History

Two Play Off final appearances conclude the Hammer’s History series as we look at the period from 22 to 30 May.

This Week Hammers History In the final instalment of this week in Hammer’s History we will take the liberty of slightly elongating the week to the nine days, 22 to 30 May, in order to capture the two Championship Play-Off Finals of 2004 and 2005.

The 2003/04 season was Alan Pardew’s first in the managerial hot-seat. He joined on 18 October 2003 with the Hammers in 4^th spot in the Championship and after an initial wobble they remained a top six occupant for the majority of the season without ever threatening the automatic promotion places; eventually finishing back where Pardew’s tenure had begun in 4th position.

The Play-Off final was an all-London affair against Iain Dowie’s Crystal Palace, who owed their play-off spot to a late West Ham equaliser against Wigan in the final match of the regular season. The match was played at the Millennium Stadium and, despite having secured a ticket, work commitments meant that I ended watching on TV in a Las Vegas bar at 6 in the morning. After a frenetic opening the game settled into a cagey affair, with West Ham’s dominating possession but with few real chances at either end. Palace took the lead when Stephen Bywater could only parry a shot from Johnson allowing the overweight Shipperley to nip in and score from close range. West Ham had ‘goals’ from David Connolly and Bobby Zamora ruled out for offside, and a blatant foul on Michael Carrick in the area was ignored by the referee, in the aftermath but were unable to get back on level terms. An abiding memory from the day (apart from the hostile atmosphere in the bar and the helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon in the afternoon) were the strange substitutions by Pardew when he hauled off all three of his strikers once we had gone a goal down and were in desperate need of a goal. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose!

Bywater, Dailly, Melville, Mullins, Repka, Carrick, Etherington, Lomas, Connolly (Hutchison), Harewood (Reo-Coker), Zamora (Deane)

A year later it was back to the same venue for another go, this time against old foes from the 1964 Cup Final, Preston North End. In the league the Hammers had failed to impress and only confirmed their place in the Play-Offs on the last day when they scrambled into 6^th spot; opponents Preston had finished one place higher and had completed a league double over West Ham.

It was Hammers who were quickest out of the blocks in the final with Tomas Repka’s shot against the post after four minutes the first of a handful of first half chances that went begging. West Ham were also solid in defence and although Preston were able to threaten from set pieces the game remained scoreless at the break. The multi-million pound breakthrough and winning goal came after 57 minutes as a Matthew Etherington cross was hooked home by Zamora. There was late drama when Jimmy Walker had to be replaced by Bywater due to injury but the Hammer’s resisted a late Preston push for a leveller to reclaim top flight status amid huge sighs of relief.

Walker (Bywater), Repka, Ferdinand, Ward, Powell, Newton (Noble), Reo-Coker, Mullins, Etherington, Harewood, Zamora (Dailly)

5 Anti-Climactic Thoughts from the Last Day of the Season

The season is over. The next one will be along in 12 weeks time. What will happen in the interim?

It’s All Over Now

So there you have it. It’s all over for another year and we can switch modes from can’t wait until this season’s over to can’t wait until the new season starts! When all done and dusted the league table shows West Ham slap bang in the middle. Whichever way you look at it: mean, mode or median it was an average one. Looking back in five or ten years’ time it will have the appearance of a table from many other seasons. The poor performances, the flirt with relegation, the scrappy and lucky wins against Bournemouth, Hull and Burnley will be consigned to history. The highlight of heroic victory over Tottenham, putting yet another spoke in their title aspirations, will survive as the season’s only legacy; apart from £120 million in TV and merit payments.

A Table of Two Halves

Normal service was resumed in the Premier League after the interruption of Leicester City last time around. The order rather than make up of the top six positions is the extent of the uncertainty. The gap between Everton in seventh and Southampton in eighth was a whopping fifteen points while a meagre six points separated eighth from seventeenth. One more win and on paper one could be mistaken for believing that this season was only slightly behind the previous one; yet performances, points and goal difference tell a vastly different story. We wait expectantly to learn the close season plans for the club. Will Slaven Bilic be given more time? Will there be a more reasoned and less public approach to transfer dealings (and that elusive free scoring twenty goals a season striker)? Are any of our players on the radar of bigger clubs? Will we finally give a worthwhile and extended opportunity to younger players? Will the club ever adopt a top to toe level of professionalism that a multi-million pound football business requires?

A Final Day Victory For Once

It was an unexpected win at Turf Moor and possibly slightly more entertaining than one might have hoped for in the circumstances. With even more injuries added to the disinterested squad who succumbed so weakly the previous week, victory at a ground which had been a fortress for Burnley all season looked remote. When the hosts took the lead after 23 minutes it looked a good bet that the form book would rule the day. However, within four minutes a delightful equalising goal fashioned by the unlikely duo of Andre Ayew and Sofiane Feghouli caught everyone unawares. Had it not been for the referee treating the game like a pre-season friendly he might well have given Burnley midfielder Westwood his marching orders on at least two occasions for a series of rash challenges. Still the Hammers looked generally comfortable and the game was settled when a neat passing move resulted in the strangest of winning goals for the visitors. A smart shot by Edmilson Fernandes was well stopped by keeper Heaton but his save sent the ball into an unusual orbit where, on re-entry, it bounced off the bar, onto Ayew’s head and into the net. Ayew notching his sixth league goal to put him behind Antonio (9), Lanzini (8) and Carroll (7) in the scoring charts.

Back in 12 Weeks

There are just eighty two shopping days (or just over 12 weeks) to the start of the 2017/18 Premier League season on 12 August. It is not clear how many of the players who have recently gone under the knife will be back, fit and ready by the big kick-off. Recuperation times of up to eleven or twelve weeks have been mentioned for some of the ailments. Added to that it is probably time to give up on Carroll and Sakho for good although the abuse they receive from some supporters for being injured is bizarre. It was good to see Angelo Ogbonna back in action even if it deprived us of an opportunity to have a look at Declan Rice, apart from his added time walk-on part. The academy seems to be specialising in centre backs these days and we now have Rice, Oxford and Burke ready to knock on the first team door, even if there are deaf ears the other side of it. Both Ayew and Feghouli had good games yesterday to the extent that maybe they do have some part to play in the future of the squad. Fernandes too did well and the question with him is how he fits into the team (with Lanzini) without weakening the defensive responsibilities of the midfield. Perhaps we will know more when the manager creates a preferred formation and distinct style of play.

Not So Super Sunday

The TV crew did their best to instil some degree of excitement in the race for fourth place and the uncertainty did last until just before half time when Liverpool scored their first against Middlesbrough. Had the referee awarded Boro a penalty for the foul by Lovren on Bamford (before that opener) then the nerves could well have got to the Scousemen. As it was the tackle was deemed to be just the wrong side of that no-mans-land between ‘he went down too easily’ and ‘he was entitled to go down’ that is only visible to football pundits. The final forty-five minutes of the season, therefore, was only interesting in guessing how many goals the top teams would eventually score.

Matchday: Going Through the Motions at Turf Moor

It’s dead rubber day in the Premier League as the Hammers go limp in Lancashire.

Burnley West Ham I used to think that a dead rubber was a used condom until I started to read about the finale to this season’s Premier League programme. Paradoxically at the time when condoms were actually made from rubber (rather than latex) they were considered reusable and so, technically, not dead once they had performed their duty. Of course, the UK’s most famous condoms were produced just a short ride around the North Circular by the London Rubber Company using a brand that took its name from the phrase Durability, Reliability and Excellence. If only our team could have demonstrated such admirable qualities this season and been as effective in both scoring and preventing leaks. In truth the term dead rubber should only really apply in a ‘best of’ series between two competing sides where the contest is decided before the series has been completed; today’s games are merely mostly meaningless.

If Burnley round off the season by maintaining their impressive home form with an expected win against West Ham today they will also leapfrog the Hammers in the table at the same time. With Palace likely to pick up at least a point against Manchester United reserves this will see us dropping to 14^th or possibly lower unless Stoke come back from Southampton empty handed. Overall it is difficult to put a spin on the season that is anything other than a complete disaster, even if there are some mitigating factors related to injuries and the stadium move. It looks to me that the club has taken several steps backwards this year and is now barely in a better position than a newly promoted side. Looking for a bright straw clutching side one could point to Machester City’s first campaign after leaving Maine Road where they finished 16^th with only 41 points. The chances of history repeating itself now rest solely on the emergence of rich foreign owners with very deep pockets.

We don’t need squad players. Take our last game against Liverpool. We were without eight players but still had a decent team so that shows that squad-wise, with the quantity of the players, we are okay.

– Slaven Bilic on his squad’s okayness

After 9 months of competition and hype the Premier League season ends in somewhat muted fashion with the majority of teams playing only for pride; an amusing concept in itself. The desperation in the media to talk up the battle for fourth place illustrates perfectly how much the game has become a slave to money, for which Champion’s League qualification is the perfect embodiment. We are meant to rely on relegated Middlesbrough and manager-less Watford to generate the day’s excitement. I’m sure I would feel differently if it were the Hammers fighting it out for that final spot but then we all know what would happen once drawn against the Romanian or Latvian champions in the qualifying round don’t we?

Head to Head

The inaugural meeting between West Ham and Burnley took place at Turf Moor in 1923 following the Hammers promotion to the top flight for the first time. West Ham keeper Ted Hufton was beaten five times as the Clarets ran out 5-1 winners. Huddersfield Town pipped Cardiff City to win the league that season with a goal average difference of 0.024; now that is what I call a close finish.

Since then West Ham have shaded matters and recent results are heavily skewed heavily in our favour, having won eight and lost only two of the last twelve meetings. West Ham have only lost at Turf Moor once in the last 39 years.

Team News

Winston Reid has joined the long list of players revealed to have been playing (or battling on) with a chronic long term injury that required immediate surgery. Let;s hope for a speedy recovery as Winston is one of our better players. I wonder who gets to wear the captain’s armband this afternoon? Probably Jose Fonte!

There has been some speculation that Bilic will give a debut to young Declan Rice but it would be truer to form if he recalled a fit again Angelo Ogbonna to the side. The bench is likely to have a few youngsters sat on it but whether any will get more than a token five minutes as the clock ticks down is anyone’s guess.

We’ve added to the squad but we still need to look at the market again – we want to keep upgrading not just for for the quality, but as an in-house challenge to the players.

– Sean Dyche plans an upgrade

Burnley may have Michael Keane back for what will most likely be his last game before a big money move to one of the big boys. Final tests don’t come much sterner than having to keep Argentine hotshot Jonathan Calleri quiet for the afternoon!

The Man in the Middle

The Premier League website has some timely insights into the matchday routine of today’s referee Robert ‘Bobby’ Madley from West Yorkshire. You will be enthralled to know that he will have enjoyed an early hearty breakfast of porridge and a couple of poached eggs before getting mentally prepared for the game by listening to Ocean Colour Scene in the dressing room.

Madley has been in the middle for three West Ham games this season; home wins against Sunderland and Burnley and an away defeat to Bournemouth. In 34 games he has issued 142 yellow and 4 red cards.

Midweek Miscellany: The Transfer Window Beckons

Time to forget about the football and concentrate on the more exiting matter of transfer speculation.

Owners and Manager

As the embers of the final week of Premier League action slowly die away we can soon move on in earnest to the more serious business of transfer speculation. From what was once a few column inches in the Sunday newspapers many years ago has blossomed into a major internet industry where news-feeds are full of more and more tempting and ambiguous transfer headlines designed to seduce the excited reader to click on through.

The beauty of transfer speculation is that there is no pretence that it is anything other than fake news. The more incredible or ridiculous the rumour the better, and the more it will be replicated and will spawn supplementary debate. Whole football forums will go into meltdown berating owners and managers alike for the lack of ambition that pursuing this made up, imaginary target demonstrates.

The situation in the West Ham transfer war-room must be a strange one given that a large part of the deadwood that we have is made up of very recent purchases. A clear-out and upgrade is essential if this seasons struggles are not to be repeated and while it would not be difficult to find better players it will be more a challenge to identify those who can become useful players in a side for the future. My fear is that we will settle for those deemed good enough on past reputation rather than seeking out players to form individual parts of a grand design. Without any particular defined style of play how on earth do you identify he players to fill it?

Meanwhile the owners will no doubt be giving it large and banding about names of exotic goal-machine targets who are usually well out of our current lower table league. I’m sure that even our owners don’t believe such boasts sells season tickets; it merely serves to lower their credibility. I don’t often agree with (or understand) much of what Jamie Carragher says but his comment that “average players will think ‘I could talk myself into a move to West Ham'” has the whiff of truth about it. This also applies to players looking for that one final payday. In my view signing any player who would be over 32 or 33 at the end of their contract should only happen in very exceptional circumstances. It is not the future unless your horizon is only 12 months.

I read a report in the week that excitedly suggested West Ham would be looking forward to receiving a windfall payment based on their likely final league position. It seems a bit of a stretch to term this a windfall when it is well known to all how the Premier League prize money is allocated. I imagine that if anyone at the club had prepared financial forecasts at the start of the season they would have budgeted for several millions more than we will actually receive.

We will now finish somewhere between 11^th and 16^thin the table; my bet would be as low as 14^th or 15^th. With just shy of £2 million for each position that equates to some £12 to £14 million less than what might have reasonably been anticipated when we kicked off in August. I have no knowledge whether player’s contracts have any clauses related to league position but I don’t expect our boys to be busting any guts up at Burnley at the weekend.

Scanning through the news-feeds during the week there were an equal number of contradicting headlines indicating that either ‘Wenger refuses to criticise West Ham’s performance’ or ‘Wenger rips into Hammer’s Holiday mood’. Either way we are left with Arsenal’s remote pursuit of their customary Champion’s League place as the only almost interesting unresolved matter for the final weekend. Leaving aside the delights of a boozy afternoon out with your mates I wonder how many will bother to turn out for Super Snoozeday?

This Week in Hammer’s History

A match that exceeded Ron Greenwood’s wildest hopes dominates the week of 15 to 21 May in Hammer’s History.

This Week Hammers History By this time of year the season is more often than not all over and in the week 15 to 21 May, West Ham have only played 17 games between the years 1958 to 2016. However, the week does include a match that is arguably the Hammers greatest moment and finest ever achievement; victory in the 1965 European Cup Winners Cup Final.

In their first ever experience of European competition, West Ham had battled through to a final that was conveniently scheduled to be played at Wembley; the same venue where they had won the first major trophy in their history just twelve months previously. The opponents were TSV Munich 1860 from West Germany who had recently made it into the newly formed Bundesliga at the expense of local rivals Bayern; the rules initially excluding two clubs from the same city competing in the new competition. In fact TSV went on to be crowned Bundesliga champions in 1966 and runners-up in 1967.

The match, played on Wednesday 19 May 1965, was an exciting and open affair in front of a capacity Wembley crowd. The first half saw chances at both ends but with Brian Dear and John Sissons unable to convert good chances and Jim Standen in fine form in the West Ham goal the match remained scoreless at the break. The second half started in much the same vein until the breakthrough on 69 minutes when Ron Boyce’s precision pass played in Alan Sealey who fired home from inside the area. There were wild scenes around the famous stadium but the dust had barely settled before Sealey scored again two minutes later, this time from close range as the ball ran loose following a Bobby Moore cross. That is how it ended and for the second successive year Moore lifted a trophy at the top of the 39 steps as the Hammers became only the second English club to triumph in Europe.

Standen, Kirkup, Burkett, Peters, Brown, Moore, Sealey, Boyce, Hurst, Dear, Sissons

Championship Play-Off games are something that have started to feature prominently this week in more recent years . In both 2004 and 2005 there were semi-finals against Ipswich Town to contend with and on both occasions the Hammers emerged victorious to book a place in the Play Off Final. The home game in 2004 is particularly memorable for the electric atmosphere generated at Upton Park and capped off by Christian Dailly playing through the pain of a ball in the genitals to stroke home the winning aggregate goal.

The most recent Play Off Final appearance took place this week in 2012 when Sam Allardyce’s West Ham faced Blackpool at Wembley. Both teams had been relegated the previous season and West Ham had easily beaten the Tangerines both home and away during the regular league season; as well as finishing eleven points ahead of them in the final standings. The Final though was a different kettle of seaside fish altogether and it was Blackpool who edged the early exchanges and fashioned the better chances until West Ham took the lead through an accomplished Carlton Cole strike. After the goal the Hammers took control and comfortably took their advantage into the break. Within two minutes of the re-start, though, Blackpool were back on level terms courtesy of a Tom Ince goal. The remainder of the game became scrappy and stretched, as both sides sought the multi-million pound winner, and with the match heading towards extra time it was Ricardo Vaz Te who settled it for West Ham when he drilled in from 12 yards out.

Green, Demel (Faubert), Reid, Tomkins, Taylor, Collison, Nolan, Noble, O’Brien (McCartney), Vaz Te, Cole

An oversight from last week’s review of history was the failure to acknowledge the final appearance in a West Ham shirt by Sir Trevor Brooking; this taking place in a match on 14 May 1984 against Everton. This was the last of 643 appearances during which Trevor scored 102 goals; West Ham’s tenth all-time top scorer.

On a final note of trivia this week also saw the Upton Park crowd break the world mass bubble blowing record prior to the end of season game against Middlesbrough in 1999.

5 Lessons from a Liverpool Drubbing

Dey do do dat dough don’t dey dough! Scousers give dreadful West Ham a pasting.

Saving the Worst for Last

“Now I’ve swung back down again, it’s worse than it was before. If I hadn’t seen such riches, I could live with being poor.” So sung the band James in their 1991 hit Sit Down perfectly summarising the emotions that followed the highs of last week’s victory over Tottenham with the lows of the abject tame surrender to Liverpool. There could be some mitigation in defeat due to absence through injuries but it is no excuse for a collective giving up after the first goal went in. This was not the result of complacency at the end of a hard season but an abysmal capitulation at the end of a campaign where survival was by the slimmest margins of some lucky wins and one storming performance against Spurs. The fans deserve and expect more and who can blame the majority for leaving before the lap of honour? If the players couldn’t be bothered to put in the ninety minutes effort why should supporters, who have given up so much time and money, hang around to acknowledge them.

The First Goal in Cheapest

One of my problems with Slaven Bilic is that he is a reactive manager, and even then he is usually slow to react. Having by accident or design hit upon a formation that tightened up the defence for a while he was always likely to stick with it regardless until it went horribly wrong. Despite having allowed Kouyate and Noble to blag season ending sick-notes he attempted to maintain the same system equipped with unsuitable players against a Liverpool side that were set up very differently. Even the half time break did nothing to address the obvious problems. The only hope would have been to stop Liverpool scoring and settle for a goalless draw, a task that look beyond them as the visitors were repeatedly given space and time in the box. The breakthrough when it came stemmed from a pointless and wasted Calleri flick, in a rare West Ham attack, followed by Dad’s Army defending; Collins inexplicably leaving Sturridge all on his own while a daydreaming Fonte kindly played him onside to capitalise on Coutinho’s excellent through ball. With no ideas how to respond the remainder of the game became an exhibition match for the visitors which echoed prior desperate defeats to Arsenal and Manchester City. Still at least we beat Tottenham.

Ayew Having a Laugh?

I was trying to think of the worst open goal miss that I have ever seen. There are quite a few compilations on Youtube; Ronnie Rosenthal normally sets the standard but I am sure that the one by 20 million pound striker Andre Ayew on the stroke of half-time will feature regularly in years to come. What made the miss so special was, not that it was only 2 or 3 yards from goal, but that having hit the post of an open goal once he did exactly the same again when the ball rebounded nicely to him. In a typical game Ayew rarely contributes a great deal but he can normally be relied on to convert the simple tap-in. On this occasion he failed on both counts and yet still survived for almost 80 minutes before being replaced by 10 million pound misfit Robert Snodgrass. It is all well and good putting youngsters like Rice and Quina on the bench for matchday atmosphere experience but why bother if there is no intention of giving them a run out no matter what the circumstances?

Good Intent

I have become wholeheartedly confused recently about what does or doesn’t constitute a foul or a penalty (or a handball come to that); particularly in relation to intent. The Winston Reid penalty claim incident that immediately preceded the third Liverpool goal is a perfect example. Liverpool’s Wijnaldum jumped with arms raised and struck Reid in the face (plus he may even have also handled the ball). The referee waved play on and compounded his decision by not stopping play despite Reid appearing to have a head injury. Typically, Liverpool did not put the ball into touch even though Adrian had done so earlier when a Liverpool player went down injured. I have since heard pundits (well Andy Townsend to be precise) say that there was no intent by Wijnaldum; but then that is often the case with many tackles,, which are mistimed or reckless rather than intentional, and where even the merest hint of a touch has players tumbling ground-wards to general ‘they were entitled to go down’ punditry. Surely anyone raising their arms should suffer the consequences whenever a collision occurs, just as they should if the balls hits them. What with the goalkeeper’s get out of jail card that we saw in the Loris challenge on Lanzini such game changing decisions are becoming more of a lottery year on year; not that this one decision was the excuse for yesterday’s defeat.

What The Feghouli?

For the first time yesterday we saw a Feghouli who actually resembled a top level footballer. Although only on the pitch for just over half an hour he looked both lively and to have a bit of pace, and was one of our better players. Where had that performance been all season or was this a pop-up shop window display? Too late to convince me that he has a future, however, and is one of several players, along with the likes of Calleri, Snodgrass, Ayew and Fonte, who I would be happy to see the back of. My fear, though, is that the club would simply replace them with a procession of fading, over 30’s whose best days are well behind them, just being currently better than what we have is not sufficient justification. Perhaps one day we will realise that success in modern football requires pace and stamina all over the park.

Matchday: Mickey Mousers Come To Town

“Téléphonez à un ami!” Can West Ham provide a lifeline to Arsene Wenger by scuppering Liverpool’s top four pretensions?

Matchday Liverpool The misty eyed football historian may well remember the day when Liverpool, along with teams such as Preston North End, Huddersfield Town and Portsmouth, were serious contenders for top flight league honours. In fact, for a time in the not too distant past, when footballers posed beside Ford Capris, advertised hair grooming products and sported flared trousers and moustaches, the men from Anfield were something of a dominant force. Then suddenly, before anyone realised that simply appointing ex-players to the managerial boot-room didn’t guarantee success, the Premier League circus had begun and money started to talk in a Manc rather than Scouse accent; the media’s favourite club became marooned in the doldrums.

There have been a few occasions where they threatened to clamber back up the league ladder but ultimately there has always been a snake (or a Steven Gerrard slip) to see them tumble back down again. Liverpool are the northern equivalent of Tottenham, better than many other teams in the league but nowhere near as good as their fans believe them to be. With Arsenal’s win at Stoke last night it puts further pressure on Liverpool’s quest for a top four finish and so it is appropriate that West Ham have the opportunity to put the kibosh on both team’s seasonal aspirations in successive weeks at the London Stadium.

He (Noble) played through the pain and with that pain and it became a bit worse. Kouyate has a wrist problem, he played through a lot of pain. We made a plan for him to play as much as possible, but it became worse.

– Slav explains injuries becoming worse

Our own season has been one heavily weighted towards disappointment. As it reaches its conclusion there is not a great deal to look back on with pride apart from that victory over Tottenham and the EFL cup defeat of Chelsea. Once again no Hammer, bar a late flurry, will get even half way to mythical 20 goals per season and after a first ever Premier League positive goal difference last term we are firmly back in deficit territory. Hopefully a little of last week’s energy and enterprise will be carried forward to today so that the season doesn’t finally fizzle out on a depressing low point.

Head to Head

No West Ham supporter needs to be told how dreadful our record away to Liverpool is but may not be aware that they also hold the advantage in matches played on our own turf; a win for the Hammers today though would even things up at 22 wins apiece from 59 attempts and a 4-0 win would also restore goal parity at the same time. West Ham are, however, on a tidy little run against the Reds with three wins and two draws in the last five; and still to lose against a Jurgen Klopp side.

Team News

Depending on whether Arthur Masuaku is fit or not then it could be up to eight first team players on the sick list for West Ham. Probably at least six of those missing in action would get into most supporters preferred starting elevens. It does seem a little odd that our two more defensively minded midfielders have been playing with injuries for some time but couldn’t hold out for another week or so before electing for surgery; maybe there are valid medical reasons.

With what remains (and with potential replacements still out on loan) it would appear that the team pretty much picks itself with Nordtveit and Fernandes coming in for Kouyate and Noble. I have high hopes for Fernandes but he is not a defensive midfield player and I worry that it is a fragile pairing against the likes of Coutinho and Lallana; not that I can see any other options as Slaven fills out his team sheet. I guess another start for non-scoring striker, Calleri, is inevitable but hope that Fletcher gets more than a last five minutes today.

Everything is still in our hands. All the teams have to play tough games and no-one wins all of them. Now we have to win ours and it will be fine.

– Jurgen Klopp

Liverpool are without Mané, Henderson and, possibly, Firmino. They are certainly not the same team in Mané’s absence. There is a lot of speculation about whether Sturridge gets a start against a side that is rumoured to be interested in his signature. Sturridge has a decent scoring record but whether an injury prone striker with a questionable attitude is precisely what is needed is a matter of opinion.

The Man in the Middle

Please welcome Neil Swarbrick from Lancashire making his third London Stadium appearance of the season having kept whistle for previous unbeaten home games against Middlesbrough & Crystal Palace. In his 31 outings this term he has contributed 116 yellow and 3 red cards.