So here we are again. The final Premier League weekend of the season and the now traditional shifting of the weekend’s fixtures so that supporters must make their way home on Sunday rail replacement bus services once the action is over.
With almost all of the league’s placings now settled, TV executives at least have a theoretical title-decider to ramp up the afternoon’s excitement. The helicopter will be parked up in Birmingham awaiting final instructions on whether the mad, last-minute dash with the trophy is to The Emirates or The Etihad. I say, theoretical, because all that sits between Manchester City and a fourth successive title are the serial roll-over merchants from West Ham.
The Super Sunday crew would have been furious with Son Heung-min for missing that late chance to equalise on Tuesday night. The prospect of the two protagonists going into the final day equal on points would have been mouthwatering (© Peter Drury.) Then it would have come down to a first past the post who can outscore who contest. Now Manchester City have the luxury of only needing to win by any score, in a fixture they have been triumphant in on the last seven occasions.
Among the straws being clutched at by Piers Morgan and his pals down the Hornsey Road is that David Moyes has a surprisingly good record in games against Manchester City, ignoring the fact that most of that happened while the Citizens were just another football club. When Moyes has faced Pep Guardiola, the playing field has been about as level as lion versus wildebeest.
The game will, of course, be Moyes final farewell and he may well be chuffed with a third top ten finish in four years. Looking back at my pre-season predictions I had West Ham down as finishing 13th. So, in some ways, he has exceeded my expectations. I just wouldn’t want to have to sit through it all again. At least he was able to sign off with a last home win last weekend once his side had woken up in the second half to ease past relegated Luton. No sooner had I been cursing the manager’s decision to opt for the terrible midfield double pivot of James Ward-Prowse and Tomas Soucek than both popped up to score. Yet, I shudder to think what might happen if he starts with the same pairing again on Sunday.
The decision to make Edson Alvarez the scapegoat for defeat to Chelsea was baffling. Alvarez has been one of the top performers all season and has sometimes acted alone in not treating the game passively. Maybe a ball-winner is surplus to requirements in a side set up not to have it.
It is hard to imagine Moyes making any radical changes for his last game. It will be the usual favourites playing their usual roles in the usual low block. My prediction is that it will hold out until the 17th minute – and will be downhill from there. City just have too much quality to resist the charge just by putting as many bodies as possible in the way. They will eventually find a way through, past, or around.
The best hope is that a Premier League lawyer will run onto the pitch in added time to announce that City’s punishment for 115 breaches of the rules is to award the game to West Ham. I wonder if City will be stripped of their titles if found guilty of cheating?
In conclusion, my 2023/24 awards go to:
Player of the Year: Jarrod Bowen
Best Goal: Mohammed Kudus versus Freiburg
Best Goal (Premier League): Mohammed Kudus versus Brentford (away)
Bench Warmer of the Year: Divin Mubama
Annual Roberto Shocking Signing Award: Kalvin Phillips
Wouldn’t it be nice to believe the Hammers could be worthy opponents today. Not for anyone else’s sake but our own. It doesn’t make much difference to me who wins the league. I see no lesser between the two evils. How about countering the earlier cynicism with dreams of a last-minute Vladimir Coufal winner? COYI!
Under The Hammers 
Firstly, thanks for another entertaining season, appreciated by a similarly aged long suffering Hammers fan. Much as I hate to say it, given that I hate to lose, I would definitely not want Arsenal to win it. I play golf with a lot of gooners, and they are still harping on about the invincibles, meaning I’d have to put up with this for another ten years. Anyhow, hands up anyone who likes Piers Morgan, oh come on Mrs. Morgan, at least you should put your hand up!
cockneylen
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Cheers Len. Yeah, I can imagine how irritaing it would be if you mix with a bunch of insufferable gooners. But I just don’t like the way Man City can buy their way to success either. How unfortunate it must be to married to Piers Morgan. Take care, Geoff
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Have a great summer Geoff and many thanks for the steady flow of top analysis. I would make Alvarez captain, by the way, second choice Bowen. And now, as the Pythons say, for something completely different… 😉
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Thanks John. It’s going to a summer jam packed with ludicrous transfer stories. Hope they break the habit of a lifetime and get some business done early. Lokking forward to something different come August
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Thanks as always Geoff. What a season its been with record points early doors and the terrible run since Christmas. The superb second leg against Freiberg and the abject surrender of the first leg v Leverkusen, where we made virtually no attempt to win what I still believe was a winnable game. I think it all sums up why so many fans are happy to see Moyse go,rather than crying their beer about it. There are those, manyofwhomshould know better,that associate attractive, fluent, positive football with automatic defeat for ant team playing it. I don’t, and I’m happy to see us lose some games trying to play than to lose them anyway after trying to defend for ninety minutes. Zouma and Ogbonna v Haarland and the rest of theMan City forward line ( let alone W-P and Soucek) hardly seems fair. I’m expecting the fight to be stopped in the early rounds to prevent further punishment! We need to announce Lopetegui onSunday, and he needs to be at his desk at 8am onMonday morning getting down to some serious in and out transfers. Believe it? No, nor me. COYI, get out there and give it a real go – what’s to lose?
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The supposed binary choice put forward by some pundits that the only alternatives for West Ham are dreary safety first football or a more attractive style and relegation battles are nonsensical. And it ignores what is going on elsewhere in the Premier League. I’ll watch the game with interest but expect the afternoon to be an anti-climax as a nail-biting season finale.
We must now await to see exactly how our smart recruitment will work in getting the squad fit for purpose for next season.
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