West Ham’s Rubbish Season Not My Fault Says Man In Charge – Except the Euro Run, That Was Me!

The Premier League’s two basement sides face off at the London Stadium in a stereotypical six-pointer encounter. A victory will bring hope while defeat will leave the loser perilously close to oblivion.

It’s been another long break hasn’t it. To fill in time during West Ham’s enforced 21-day hiatus from league action I found myself watching a cable channel that broadcast output from Premier League Productions. Two programmes grabbed my attention.

The first was a discussion with Brentford’s in-house Sports Psychologist that came with with glowing references from Thomas Frank and key members of the Bees squad. It illustrated just how important belief and state of mind were to the fine margins that exist in modern football, providing further refreshing insight into the workings of a progressive, well-run club. It is pure speculation on my part, but I imagine the powers that be would have no truck with this type of new-fangled, namby-pamby nonsense at the London Stadium. Nothing in the fossil records suggests dinosaurs paid any attention to Wellness and mental preparation!

The second show was a profile of Nayef Aguerd and his journey since signing for the Hammers last summer. It focused on his unfortunate pre-season injury and subsequent rehabilitation up until the World Cup. The surprise here was that despite the outside appearance of a converted shipping container, Rush Green does actually house a well-equipped medical and fitness centre. It’s not just a St John’s Ambulance intern with a first aid box and a bottle of military grade White Horse oil. Even more surprising is the current low occupancy in this famously long-stay establishment. It leaves David Moyes with a fully fit squad as the Hammers embark on an eight-week date with destiny.

My takeaways from Moyes pre-match comments were that, in his view, none of the current woes at the club are down to him. The tactics are just fine. All the problems are a consequence of a drop in form by the players. If only they would ‘turn up’ and eat an extra Shredded Wheat for breakfast, then everything would be hunky dory. He had tried manfully to assimilate a host of experienced international players into the squad but they simply couldn’t understand the beautiful simplicity of Moyes ball. What’s so difficult to comprehend about getting behind the ball most of the time and then charging forward in pursuit of a long ball? How was he supposed to know how and where to play Lucas Paqueta, or that Gianluca Scamacca needs the ball played to feet? It should be no surprise to anyone that it’s taken nine months to work this out – that’s just how things are in the Premier League. Look how well I have managed the squad in the Euro Conference League.

There was a lot of talk in the week about a Toxic atmosphere permeating the club. The provenance of the supposed leak did sound a bit flaky – a mate of a friend’s brother’s uncle – and may have been exaggerated for effect after a bevy of post-match Britneys. But it is safe to assume that all is not well and to conclude that the players have lost belief in what the manager is attempting to do. After all, it hasn’t worked for the best part of 18 months now. As results have fallen away, a form of institutional incompetence and paralysis has taken over both Board and management. An expectation that if they wish hard enough, the good times will return.

Moyes meanwhile displays all the man-management skills of a First World War general – digging out individual players in media interviews rather than taking personal responsibility. Doggedly refusing to recognise how his approach, stubbornness and failure to adapt is at the root of inadequate performances and results.    

For some reason, pundits and bookmakers consider West Ham to be an outside bet from the group of clubs fighting the drop. On the plus side, there are games in hand and a better a goal difference than most. But the team have been in a slow and steady decline for many, many months. The last 38 games have yielded only 35 points. The last 21 aways games just two wins and ten points – averaging below half a point a game. Is that going to change? Manchester City will be damage limitation and a win at Brentford is unlikely. In theory, trips to Fulham, Palace, Bournemouth and Leicester offer hope but will Moyes suddenly throw off the awayday caution that has stymied his side on their travels since January 2022? Who wants to go to Leicester on the final day needing a win?

Home form is thankfully slightly better but three of the remaining games are against top five sides (Arsenal, Manchester United and Newcastle) who boast three of the four best away records in the league. Does past performance against top sides suggest a good points haul from these types of game? Add in Liverpool who will also be looking at European qualification and the challenge looks particularly daunting. It makes the matches against fellow strugglers Southampton and Leeds all the more critical.

Following Saturday’s results, today’s game is the quintessential rock-bottom, basement dwelling, six-pointer. A win would take either side out of the relegation zone. A defeat for either, while not terminal, would be a severe blow for survival hopes. Neither will want to lose as two of the teams who were promoted together in 2012 attempt to preserve their Premier League status. It’s hard to imagine both surviving.

Southampton will provide a muscular challenge despite a raft of injury woes. West Ham cannot afford another typically slow start. Rustiness after a three week lay-off is a distinct possibility given the experience of previous breaks. In theory, the Hammers have the superior quality but it has rarely been given an outing this season. It’s going to be a nail biting, cliff hanging, suspenseful, afternoon. COYI!

As West Ham entertain bottom club Southampton this weekend we try to work out who will go down this season

Get set for the closest and most exciting finish to the Premier League at the top and the bottom

Premier League football emerges from the final international break of the 2022-23 season and resumes on April Fools Day. With the season finale on Sunday 28th May there are just 58 days or a little over 8 weeks for it all to be decided in potentially the most open finish for a while at the very top, in the fight for European places, and in the tussle to be playing top-flight football next season by avoiding the dreaded drop into the Championship. Arguably perhaps all 20 clubs are still involved in one of the three competitions (Top, Europe, Relegation) going into the final two months of a season that was interrupted by the death of the monarch and the winter World Cup in addition to the usual breaks for international football.

I cannot remember a season when there has been such a vast gap between the top and bottom halves of the league with two very distinct sets of teams battling in one or the other. If you want to be pedantic, not exactly halves, but the top 11 and the bottom 9. Depending upon the FA Cup winners and final league placings there are likely to be seven English teams in Europe next season and just 4 points separate Liverpool in sixth with Aston Villa in eleventh place. There is then a vast chasm (as wide as the gap between the top and bottom tiers of the London Stadium) of 11 points before we come to the group of nine clubs at the bottom. Unfortunately West Ham are in this latter group this time around (after two seasons finishing 6th and 7th) where just four points separate Palace in twelfth with this weekend’s visitors to East London, Southampton, who are propping up the table. I suspect that there has never been fewer points separating 12th and 20th place going into April.

As we enter the final run-in we sit in a relegation spot (18th) although we have at least one and in some cases two games in hand over the other eight teams involved. If (and it is a big if) we could win the games in hand over our relegation rivals we would climb into twelfth spot, that’s how tight it is.  

So who will go down? A tough question to answer in a season where a win or two on the bounce can transform the position in an instant by increasing optimism amongst fans and decreasing the perception of how much danger a team is in. We should really just focus on our own results, but it is difficult to ignore what is happening elsewhere when it is too close to call and the stakes are so high.

Opta Stats Perform produce probability of relegation figures and their current figures are:

Southampton 78%, Bournemouth 56%, Forest 50%, Everton 42%, Leeds 21%, Wolves 20%, West Ham 16%, Leicester 11%, Palace 6%.

Skybet relegation odds are broadly similar (apart from West Ham and Leicester changing places in the order) and their current figures are:

Southampton 2/5, Bournemouth 4/7, Forest 10/11, Everton 7/4, Leeds 3/1, Wolves 7/2, Leicester 4/1, West Ham 9/2, Palace 5/1.

The league table at present from the bottom up:

Southampton 23 (10 to play), Bournemouth 24 (11), West Ham 24 (12), Leicester 25 (11), Forest 26 (11), Everton 26 (10), Leeds 26 (11), Wolves 27 (10), Palace 27 (10).

The form table for the last six games played:

Forest 2, Palace 2, Wolves 4, Leicester 4, West Ham 6, Leeds 7, Bournemouth 7, Southampton 8, Everton 8.

None of the bottom nine teams is yet averaging a point a game for the season to date, although five of the bottom teams are averaging a point a game for the last six games played (including the bottom three in the league table Southampton, Bournemouth and West Ham). This could be why it is getting even closer at the bottom than it was a few weeks ago. Form of recent games, and potential momentum gained from those results depends partly on the opposition faced, but has been disrupted by the international break. Palace in particular (and especially their sacked manager) could perhaps feel that recent form gives an unrealistic impression. Despite their long winless run, Palace only faced teams from the top half of the table in that period and did manage some creditable (and possibly unexpected) draws. Incredibly they face every one of the other teams in the bottom nine, five at home and three away in addition to visits to Tottenham and Fulham to finish their season. Their goals have however dried up.

An interesting comparison of goals scored can be made between the bottom 9:

Palace 22, Wolves 22, Everton 22, Forest 22, Southampton 23, West Ham 24, Bournemouth 25, Leeds 35, Leicester 38.

Goals conceded comparisons:

West Ham 34, Palace 38, Everton 40, Wolves 41, Leeds 44, Southampton 46, Leicester 47, Forest 49, Bournemouth 54.

So what can we make of all these statistics as we approach the final games of the season? Goal difference could be worth another point and may make all the difference at the end. Leeds, Leicester and West Ham fare better than the others in this respect. As virtually all the teams in the league are still in contention or have something to play for then the strength of opposition in remaining games might not mean a lot. If all the teams in the bottom 9 averaged a point a game from here, then the final table would see Southampton and Bournemouth relegated with 33 and 35 points respectively, and the remaining seven teams would have 36 (West Ham, Everton and Leicester) or 37 (Palace, Wolves, Leeds, Forest). Unless there was a significant swing in goal differences Everton would be the third team relegated.

The difference between the points for a win (3) and a draw (1) take on added significance at this stage, and even the single points gained from draws could be crucial. Games played between teams in the bottom nine (so called six pointers) will be massively important too and there are lots of these. Palace have 8 of them, Southampton, Bournemouth and Leicester 6, West Ham and Leeds 5, Forest, Everton and Wolves 4. In this coming round of fixtures there are three (‘6 pointer’) games including our own against Southampton.

Conversely that means Palace have only 2 fixtures against teams in the top 11, Southampton have 4, Bournemouth and Leicester 5, Everton, Wolves and Leeds 6, Forest and West Ham 7.

The table below sets out our remaining 12 league games with the figures in brackets the points that we picked up in the reverse fixtures already played earlier in the season. If we were to replicate those then we would collect another 9 points to take us up to 33. Might that be enough? I suspect not, so we must do better. At least 12 would probably be needed, or possibly more. Six or seven points (or even optimistically nine?) in the first three would go a long way to alleviating relegation fears, whereas three points or less would leave us still in the fight for survival. If we could win the five games against teams in the bottom 9 then that undoubtedly would be enough. But that’s easier said than done. And how will our continued involvement in Europe influence things? It will mean nine games in 28 days in the month of April!

2/4 Home v Southampton (1)

5/4 Home v Newcastle (1)

8/4 Away v Fulham (3)

16/4 Home v Arsenal (0)

23/4 Away v Bournemouth (3)

26/4 Home v Liverpool (0)

29/4 Away v Palace (0)

3/5 Away v Man City (0)

7/5 Home v Man Utd (0)

13/5 Away v Brentford (0)

20/5 Home v Leeds (1)

28/5 Away v Leicester (0)

What does all this analysis mean? Will we survive? I think so, yes, but it will be close. An exciting climax for those not involved. Who will go down? Its too close to call but I’ll give it a shot. At this point I’ll say any three from Southampton, Bournemouth, Everton and Forest. But next week I might change my mind!