High Toon: Are West Ham brave enough to see off injury ravaged Geordies in Saturday’s early kick-off?

Where were we? Football’s all about stop and start these days isn’t. Like waking suddenly and not being sure whether it’s a VAR review you’re waiting for or it’s the middle of another international break. I feel about as confused as David Moyes looks on the sidelines when his team have just gone a goal behind and he is thinking about what game changing substitution to make – “Ben Johnson for Lucas Paqueta, that should do it!”

With all the interruptions we now have, the need for a Recap button like on Netflix is becoming all the more necessary. I always believed Recaps were intended for Americans with short attention spans due to the regularity of commercial breaks. Now I am starting to see the point. Fortunately, we have the clickbait fan-sites to rely on where every story has five or six paragraphs of ‘season recap’ before the big headline reveal at the very end. The one where a reliable journalist provides a major update that should West Ham win the Europa League, then the manager may be offered a new contract. Who knew?

So, at the end of the last episode, West Ham were left hanging on to 7^th place in the Premier League and occupying one of the coveted European qualification slots. Except that each of the four teams below would overtake them if they were to win their games in hand. Gripping stuff! There now follows a run of six games in 20 days which will play a large part in determining the season’s outcome and the club’s immediate future. By the end of those matches, the Hammers could still be 7^th and in a Europa League semi-final; have slipped down to 11^th and bowed out of Europe; or stumbled along somewhere in between. Personally, I am at the lower end of expectations.

The upcoming league fixtures include two of the other teams targeting 7^th place – Newcastle and Wolves; one looking for Champions League qualification – Tottenham; and an unpredictable side who are close to the top of the Premier League form table – Fulham. It’s a tough run to juggle around the two-legged Bayer Leverkusen showdown with just a comically thin squad at your disposal – a squad whose numbers were deliberately run down.

The first of the matches is the weekend’s long trip north to Newcastle for the early Saturday midday kick-off. The Geordies recent form has been as indifferent as the Hammers with both teams having taken eight points from their last six matches. The two teams have the worst defensive records in the top ten and the hosts have been riddled with injuries. In theory it is evenly matched.

But we should be well aware by now of the Moyesiah’s mindset. Newcastle are a big club in his eyes, while his Hammers are wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beasties – prepared to be overawed and uninspired. The only option is to ramp up the low-block setting to maximum and hope for the best. That most other clubs have identified the Geordies defensive weaknesses – the dangerously high line, the space between midfield and defenders, Dan Burn, the reticence of stand-in keeper, Dubravka to sweep outside his box – will likely be lost on Moyes.

What is needed to beat Newcastle is bravery, not caution. For all their defensive frailties, only the top four have outscored them this season, and they have scored in every home league fixture so far. Is a plan built on shutting them out going to work? If we should score first, will the usual tactic of retreating deeper and deeper make any sense? The best laid plans of Moyes and men often go catastrophically wrong.

Not helping the West Ham cause is the enforced absence of Edson Alvarez, serving a two game ban for picking up ten yellow cards. A good effort by Edson who trails only Palhinha of Fulham in the top flight yellow card stakes. In his absence, the onus shifts to the desolate Kalvin Phillips as the only potential active ball-winning force in the centre of midfield. Little chance of either Tomas Soucek or James Ward-Prowse fulfilling that role. Whatever happened to that Flynn Downes?

The other doubt is Mohammed Kudus who pulled out the Ghana squad for their friendlies against Uganda and Nigeria. Hopefully, this was precautionary measure (or because he didn’t fancy it) rather than a real injury. Assuming he is fit it should be the same team that started against Villa other than the Phillips for Alvarez switch. If Kudus is out, then JWP comes in somewhere.

It was good to see Jarrod Bowen put in his best showing yet in an England jersey on Tuesday. It should certainly improved his chances of winning an all-expenses paid summer break to the Euro benches – as long as the German’s haven’t already laid out their towels on it. More importantly, we need Jarrod to get his Premier League scoring boots back on. He remains two goals short of matching Paolo Di Canio’s record of 16 in a season, with only nine matches left to do it in. Bowen has only scored in one league game in 2024, although that was the Brentford hat-trick.

Saturday’s hosts have a long list of injuries. Botman, Joelinton, Pope, Wilson, and Miley are all injured while Tonali is on long term suspendsion. There are also doubts over the fitness of Trippier, Barnes, and Livramento and late tests will be required. The question springs to mind as to whether high rates of injuries are simply bad luck or a reflection of training methods that are far too intensive to sustain for long periods.

I was once quite a fan of Eddie Howe in his Bournemouth days where he did an amazing job in getting them promoted to the Premier League for the first time. But there is something cynical about him – and his henchman Jason Tindall – that is difficult to warm to, despite a positive approach to how the game is played. When Howe is inevitably sacked before Newcastle win any trophies, I hope he doesn’t end up at the London Stadium. Never trust a man whose face is way too small for his head.

In the circumstances this is a winnable game, but only with the right attitude and positive approach. If our forward players are on song they should be able pull Newcastle all over the place. But past performances have seen attacking intent only in short flashes, rarely sustained over 90 minutes. Playing on the front foot from start to finish doesn’t appear to exist in the manager’s toolkit. The Moyesball approach relies heavily on opponents fluffing their lines in front of goal, or man-of-the-match performances from Alphonse Areola and VAR.

West Ham have never won away in an early Saturday kick-off against a team playing in stripes. I can see that run continuing this weekend. Actually, I just made that last bit up but I’m sure Peter Drury will know the answer. A score draw, I think. COYI!